should i have a babyshower in the UK? My husband says its wrong!

[brandnewmam]

I'm feeling conflicted, my mum really wants me to have a baby shower so we can get all the girls in both sides of the family together to celebrate the baby coming and to have a nice time together (she wants me to invite friends and co workers as well). However, when talking about another baby shower to some friends at work they didn't know what to do, they said they felt they needed to bring a gift to the baby shower (as its custom?) but they also felt they wanted to bring a gift when the baby was born (British custom and an excuse to see baby) tbh they were slightly complaining about this as they felt that they HAD to buy two gifts and my husband agreed with this and says i shouldn't have one as its not British custom! I don't want people to think i'm only having one because i want gifts!! Should i still throw one?

Agreed with you f&l, it is in bad taste to arrange your own. Its usually arranged by mum or sister etc.

I had moved into a new home a few months before my ds was born and was adamant that I didn't want a shower. A number of friends insisted they were going to throw one anyway. In the end 2 of my friends hosted an afternoon tea to celebrate my house move and as last social before baby. I didn't want gifts but people kept asking so I said children's books.
It was a lovely chilled afternoon with alcohol, mocktail and lots of sweet treats. There was no presentation of gifts (they wanted to but I politely vehemently refused), no games as such but was presented with a journal which everyone had written tips/well wishes in and a basket of nappies with silly messages written on. Evening ended with me and my closest girlies having a boogie in my living room. Perfect day.

How about doing what YOU want?! Do you fancy getting together with fam and friends before the big day? Then fine, do it. Even if YOU want to organise it, so what? It's your life, your pregnancy, your baby.

If you feel uncomfortable about it, don't do it. shrugs

Who cares what's tradition and not tradition? If it's naff or cool? Whatever makes you happy :-)

My mum's throwing me a 'Mummy2Be Afternoon Tea' at a local tearooms this weekend (I'm 35 weeks). No gifts, just gossip, tea and cakes. She really wanted to do it and I thought it was a cute idea and chance to catch up with people, so am all for it. I did admittedly have to talk her down from a full on baby shower but that's only cos I find all those baby shower games boring, know childless friends would find it a bit dull and would rather get gifts when baby arrives.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do :-)

My sister organised my baby shower and i am still having people saying how lovely it was, all the women from both sides of the family got together (about 20 of us) , we had a homemade curry and the women with children gave me some valuable advice about becoming a mother for the first time and we all had a wonderful time, i got some presents but it was explained to the guests that they didn't need to buy gifts though some came with small thoughtful gestures as they may not have a chance to see the baby until long after he is born.

I find giving friends and family a list of things really rude and impersonal and expecting things of the guests will ruin any sort of positive atmosphere in my opinion. I really enjoyed my baby shower and it reminded me how much love my baby will have from family and friends when he is born.

It depends on you.