At what age is pregnancy acceptable to you?

[MrsWindsor]

Hi all. I'm new to this (long time lurker).

Whether you're pregnant or have been, I'm looking for a little wisdom here:

I know there's no 'right' age to have a child and that you can never really be fully prepared for what it entails - but what would you say is a good age to consider it? Obviously everyone is different but I'm just really interested to know.

I'd love to have children of my own one day, and although I know myself well enough to know when it's right for me, a little wisdom from those already walking in those shoes would be nice :)

For me personally - 30 - so I could have my fill of living independently, being irresponsible, travelling, building career etc. And most of my friends have also started families in their early 30s.

Personally I wouldn't rush it! as it is the most difficult (and rewarding, obviously) thing that you will ever do

But everyone is different, as you say. i was an irresponsible flake pothead in my 20s and couldn't have handled it - luckily lots of other women are not like me

Above 25 and below 45.

I'm almost 35 and pregnant with DC 1. Any sooner would have been the wrong time for me but then I only got married a couple of years ago.

When you are settled and can support your family.

It is entirely a personal choice, but I started at 27 and am now 35 and feel like I am coming to the end of the road. I want a bit of 'me time' back before I am old and grey.

We aren't having any more, as DH is 10 yrs older and is definitely done with babies/toddlers, but I could in theory have knocked out one more . I would have wanted it out the way by 36 or 37, though, in an ideal world. I always wanted to be well out of the toddler stage by 40.

I have several friends who are just having their first at 35, though, and one who just had her first at 41, so...different strokes, differing circumstances etc. You can't always plan these things with precision.

We wanted to be in our own house, with a decent income and properly settled before having our DCs.

We started trying when I was 28 - it took a very long time for us and we had the DTs when I was 35. I would have liked to have them when I was younger - 30ish would be ideal for me.

I think age is irrelevant as long as you are in a stable relationship and financially independent as a couple. I had DC at 33 but I'd have done it earlier if I'd met DH before I did. I think it would be easier the younger you are as you are fitter generally.

I do know a lot of couples who had everything and the kitchen sink but left it too late and were either not able to have children, had years of stressful & financially draining fertility treatment or had families smaller than they planned. So I think anyone 25+ should really consider their options before it's too late.

It's a relief to get responses like this - my darling little town is made up of 16 year olds with babies (I'm mid-twenties) and sometimes, I feel a little old. A little like I'm behind. Crazy isn't it.

It's very personal. In an ideal world I'd say for a graduate 25-30, depending on how many children you want. If you leave it until 35+ then if you encounter fertility problems then you may run out of time. That said, of course not everyone meets the right person by the time they're 30 or even 35, so it's not always a choice. If you've not been to uni, then you can probably get established in a job earlier and if you're with the right person why wait ?

I'm expecting DC1 in 3 months, the following month I will turn 35.

I think I would have loved to have children earlier but I didn't meet DP until nearly 3 years ago. As he was recently divorced and has a DS, we had to take things slowly. I don't feel old to have my first DC though. If anything I still feel about 25 inside so maybe any earlier would not have been great.

I would always say though, you never know if you will have problems conceiving (which I know can happen at any age) but still, don't leave it too late

@PestoPenguin I got married just over a year ago and he's wonderful etc :) ... the reason I started mulling it over is because I was told I have PCOS and whilst I'm cool with it and I know it's not the end of my mothering-potential world... it does get you thinking. Ironic that much of my later teens was spent trying not to get pregnant!

It's very personal decision, so whenever it suits you, really.

I had DC1 a week after my 22nd birthday and DC2 a week after the 29th. I'm 32 now and probably done with it. It actually wasn't hard at all at 22, in fact easier than at 29.

I rather cherish the idea that at 40 my son will be 18 and off to university and DD will be 11, so fairly independent. I had lots of ahem, fun before getting pg with my son so I don't feel like I've missed out and may still have some fun in my forties

My life didn't pan out how I thought it would and I had DS when I was 25. I would have liked to have had another by the time I was 30 without a big gap between DS and other siblings. I'm 32 now and single and feel past it in terms of me ever having another baby! DS is seven next year and the thought of going down that road again in my late 30s/beyond fills me with dread! It's a shame as I always thought I'd have more than one child, but such is life!

I think it is definitely worth considering fertility problems if you are over 30. I also have PCOS. I had my first child at 27 - got pregnant immediately. Second child took 3 yrs of trying and two early miscarriages to arrive. We tried for DC 3 for 3 yrs before giving up as we felt too old and knackered.

My doctor asked me why I had waited until I was 34. Having just recently moved out of London at the time, I hadn't realised I had waited since everyone I knew had babies in their 30s. Besides, I didn't meet DH until I was 32 and figured getting knocked up by some random before then wouldn't exactly have been ideal.

I'm now really glad I didn't meet him until I did because I don't think I was ready for babies until then and had lots of years doing lots of nice things first. Although, I say that from a very privileged position that we never had any problems conceiving so I know that we were very lucky. Not sure I'd recommend somehow who had already met the man they wanted to have babies with to wait until then.

winnybella - why do you think it was easier at 22? Just youthfulness (though 29 doesn't seem old!)?

mid 20s to mid 30s I'ld say is ideal, not that its awful if it falls outside of that, I just think that physically and emotionally that it's the best timeslot if you can choose

in my area i am an ancient mum at 32 :( and my dc are 3 and 6.

i feel like a granny at the school gates with all the 20 year olds with 4 and 5 year olds in tow, usually with a baby in a buggy as well and / or a baby bump.

and they are all so glamourous as well damn them.

sorry that doesn't really answer the OP

I had mine at 36 and 40. The youngest is only 4 months old and, while I don't feel quite ready for the knacker's yard I'm definitely getting there. DH and I were together since our mid twenties and the delay was for no good reason. I wish now I'd had them at 30 but you do what feels right at the time. I'm concerned I'll be dead before they grow up but I guess that could happen to anyone.

AllRiseForHerVaj - what a fab name ha! I've heard that with PCOS, the first child can come easy and any others after are slightly more complicated. Must have been horrible to deal with :(

i had mine at 21.6 23 & 39 years old

I had my first at 23, and my 2nd at 26. I'll only be 44 by the time my youngest is 18. I intend to do everything I wanted to do in my 20's in my 40's, only I'll have more money and will stay in better hotels

I have no idea if I was too young, I don't think I was, but I'd been living out of home for 5 years at that point so was fairly level headed.

I had mine at 29 and 34 - I dont think I was ready for all the baby stuff much younger than that, then after I had the second one at 34, didnt think I would like to go through it all again. So for me, in my particular situation, around those ages were just right, and wouldnt change it if I had to do it again.

I freaked dh out not long after we had started going out by telling him that I wanted to have a baby before I was 30. Not sure why he freaked out, we met when i was 23!

Anyway, we had dd when I was 29 and I am pg with dc2 at 31. It feels right to me but it's personal choice really.