At what age is pregnancy acceptable to you?

[MrsWindsor]

Hi all. I'm new to this (long time lurker).

Whether you're pregnant or have been, I'm looking for a little wisdom here:

I know there's no 'right' age to have a child and that you can never really be fully prepared for what it entails - but what would you say is a good age to consider it? Obviously everyone is different but I'm just really interested to know.

I'd love to have children of my own one day, and although I know myself well enough to know when it's right for me, a little wisdom from those already walking in those shoes would be nice :)

I would say when you and your partner are ready. Although be prepared for fertility issues if you leave it till later. I'm 36 and my fertility is fucked (technical term). I'm pregnant with DC2 by a complete fluke.

I think early 20's is the optimum time physically to have a baby, isn't it?

I'm 35. I have 5 dc. I had my first at 25 and last at 33. I would not want to be having my children any older tbh.

DS when i was 22, almost 23. Currently 25 and pg with DC2 who will be born a month before im 26. Im not in the minority but the ages here are from the teenage years right up until forties. I think age isn't a big deal. For me its more important to be in a stable loving relationship and at a time in your life when you are ready for the sacrifices that parenthood causes. Equally important to me was to live in an environment suitable for a child and to know i had a decent support network.

With hindsight, I would have started trying mid-20s. Generally I'd say that if you and your partner are sure you want children, and you're in a stable relationship/marriage and managing financially, then get on with it! What are you waiting for?

Everyone's situation is different though, there may be reasons why it isn't the right time for you yet.

I think it's a very, very personal matter & depends on when you're in the best place for them (don't think there is ever a 'right' time, but when you're most stable etc).

For me I would not like to be pregnant over the age of 30 (I'm 24 with one DS under 1), DH has 10yrs on me & doesn't want to be an old dad & I'd hate to not see my (if they happen) grandchildren because I had kids at 40 then my kids had kids at 40.
I would've liked to have started earlier (maybe 21?) but DH & I only started trying in 2010, just because we both would've had a bit more energy!

Good Luck for when/if you do decide to start trying MrsWindsor!

That said i have fertility issues and found it difficult to conceive so very relieved i was young when i found this out, and similarly glad im not an older parent as i think that I personally just wont have any stamina the older i get too fond of sleep and chocolate

I don't think there is a 'right' age in general. For me it was the right time which happened to be having DD last year, aged 31. I think you need to be a good place with your relationship and have your finances in order. For myself, there was no way I was going to be having babies before being married for at least a year. I think you can be 18 and be age appropriate. It would be rare but not impossible.

After having DD I have nothing but the upmost respect for single mothers and anyone in a wheelchair. There is a reason for a child having two parents, the main reason being to enable breaks! I never appreciated how difficult it is for someone in a wheelchair to get around until I was pushing DD around. I know pushing a child isn't the same but I have nothing but huge amounts of respect for wheelchair users.

I had two in my 20s, one in my 30s and two in my 40s.

I didnt find my later pregnancies harder than my early ones.
I didnt find caring for a newborn harder either. It was a lot easier IMO.

I do sometimes think about the future, having teenagers around when I am 50/60. But when I was in my 20s I worried about everything.

For me personally I wanted to be done by the time I was 30, I actually had our final baby (dd4) when I was 26. My dd's are 10, 7, 4 & 3 and I'm now starting to enjoy my social life, and a small amount of freedom when dd3 and dd4 are at preschool.

had first at 29, seemed a few years late for a first baby, physically anyway, would have preferred to be onto no.2 by 29 but for some reason spent my 20s convinced that a baby was the worst most limiting thing that could happen to a woman

When you are married to the man you love and have no doubts, a secure home and enough money.

Had my first at 34.5 and my last at almost 38. Would have loved to have started a decade earlier but hadn't met the right man.

I would say anytime after 25.

I remember reading about the development of identity in psychological terms and apparently it can become blurred for women who have babies too early, as in you have to be focused on another person instead of yourself and it can be detrimental to your own development.

Unfortunately I read this after having 3 DCs before my 25th birthday - for me this may explain a lot,

I don't think there's any acceptable age, it really depends in circumstances. I had DD at 22 and DS at 25. I met DH at 17 and by 22 we where married, had our own home and two decent wages. I'm glad I have had them young and do look forward to having freedom in my 40s when we should hopefully have a decent disposable income rather than trying to find uni fees close to retirement.

I think beyond 35 you are too much at risk of fertility problems and multiple miscarriages, and above 40 multiples and chromosomal abnormalities become more of an issue.

I was twenty when I had my first and 26 with the last. I definitely found it harder as I got older, but that may have been because I had five to look after! A friend has just had her first at 42- I couldn't look after a newborn now. So different for everyone!

hmm good question, very personal of course but as you ask....
Me & my dh had been on amazing holidays, renovated our house, became succesful in our careers, financially stable and got to know each other well.

We were ready when we hit our 30's. I had my ds at 33.

No way in 100000 years would i have been ready in my teens or 20's, no way.

Now trying for dc 2 and im 42 soon, prob stop in a year or so.

For me personally over 25ish (for financial/education reasons) and under 35 (for health reasons). Just cut it very fine by having my second at 34.5 and it was not a great pregnancy, so I think I was right about the under 35 thing.

I was 20 when I had DS1. He was born a month before my 21st. I wouldn't change it for the world. I was 22 when DS2 came along and I'm now 26 and DC3 is due in 2 weeks.

I was happily married when the boys came along, we were fine financially and very happy until XH turned into a dickhead.

Now happily married again and apart from DH working abroad life is pretty perfect.

I can't say for anyone else, but for me...

I had DD1 at 21, when we had been married for a year, then the next two are each three years apart. We knew we didn't want to have them very close together, that we wanted more than 2 and that we wanted to be done by 30.

I mean my own health reasons, others are good to go til much later.

I think age is less important than being in fairly stable circumstances in terms of finances, relationship, somewhere to live etc.

I'm 33 and expecting my first baby, DH and I started trying when I was 29, it took a lot longer than either of us expected and with hindsight I would maybe have took the chance and started trying earlier, but we weren't to know at the time of course. We'll definitely try for DC2 asap after this one arrives.

depends on the individuals.
i was 22 when our first was born but know of 16 year olds that are more mature than i was and 30 something year olds that are far less mature.

I used to think that I would have a baby by my late 20s. It didn't happen due to an unsuccessful previous long term relationship and therefore I had some time spent single, living on my own, going out lots, travelling, having lots of fun and progressing my career. Of course I worried that marriage/kids may not happen for me but I met my DP the month after I turned 30 and we had our son last October when I was 32, we get married in August. In hindsight, I am really happy that I had those free and single years. A baby is wonderful but so very limiting, I'm glad I got to make the most of my 20s.

I had my first at 20, it wasn't planned but I am so happy about being a mum, I am now 22 and expecting again. This time round it was planned as I am settled, my fiance and I are able to support the children (he is 25) and it's what we both want to do with our lives.

It is different for everyone.
As long as you're prepared for what is to come, the sacrifices you'll have to make and always putting your children first, and you're comfortable with that, then I don't think there is a specific age.

I know plenty of people my own age who are against having children at the moment as they're not ready to move on to that chapter of their lives, which is completely understandable.
Yet I have plenty of friends my own age with children and they're more than happy and make wonderful parents :)

It completely depends on the person/couple :)