Due in August Thread Part 4

[ishopthereforeiam]

Hey ladies, as we hurtle towards 1000 posts and our third trimiester I'm setting up the part 4 thread.

Pull up a pew and or small with some

Hi all! Just getting round to my private messages. If anyone wants adding to fb then please pm me cause I've lost track!!

Gosh! We'll need a new thread soon! Part 5...I can't believe we are all in our third trimesters already!!

Every now and then I read a bit of the threads of those who've just got their BFPs and think it doesn't seem long ago when that was us!!

Crazy

Re perineum oils and exercises, I've heard that epidurals increase the risk of tearing because you keep pushing...apparently if you can feel when your body is telling you to push then you are less likely to tear. So I've heard...

Frilly I also read that when pregnant with DS. I didn't have an epidural, just gas and air but never got an urge to push! MW thought I was very strange, but in hindsight I think it was cuz I was off my head on 2 cans of gas and air and very very tired after a 17 hour labour.

Ah perhaps this is why I did not tear very short labour less than 5hrs no epidural and only gas and air after fully dialated. Plus I listened when the midwife told me to stop pushing as am a bit of a goody when it comes to authority figures and tend to do as I am told!

I never used any oils with either babies and I tore with my first but he tried coming out with his head and arm at the same time and the MW had to push his arm out of the way. My second behaved and came out as they should lol, with her I didn't tear. I'm hoping this baby doesn't follow suit with my first!

Bugger off with the spam JeSuis. MNers are really good at boycotts and spreading them iykwim.

Now onto more positive thoughts...

Oh Needles sorry for the confusion! I saw the updated list. I meant:
PoppySeed34 etc 28/8/12!
Should read
PoppySeed34 etc 28/5/12!

I am now on Iron tabs too... Apparently I have anaemia. Still rocking the good vibes, hope I can carry on with them through constipation...

My tummy just appeared two weeks ago. It wasn't there and then it was. So I do kind of understand when people say "look at that!". Even I was surprised.

We have managed to piss off MIL :) But that's easy to do. I and hubby have decided to have no visitors until the child is about 4-6 weeks old. And I am not having her over pre-delivery either. She can be quite pushy. Needless to say, She is furious. My mum on the other hand doesn't mind waiting till Christmas to see us! She is sooo non fussy that we wonder if we can see her sooner but it just won't work out. It takes all sorts to make a world I say. Ah, I love it whenever my MIL slags off her MIL, nod and smile

Frightened to death of tearing... and all the other bone breaking and shifting which goes on during labour... Try hard not to think of it.

needles hoping this labour is a better one for you

geekette your baby your rules! I got sooo stressed out after dd and had visitors far too early .... Fine if they're helpful not otherwise!

Haha good on you geekette! I don't think we'd be able to keep either grandma away for that long!

Bought a changing mat and cot mattress today so that's two more things ticked off the list!

I think I'm going to go for a nice bath now while DH watches the football.

geekette you're right and I was wrong, doh! Have now corrected the date for Poppy's son on the list :)

Oh just noticed poppy's name change aww wee soul!

Good for standing up geekette re: visits. Problematic thing for me is that I am totally happy for my DM to be around in the early days - we are very close and she is second birth partner - but most other people, in-laws included, I don't want all over us as soon as we get back. What do you make of this:

DH was discussing his sister's first being born and how his whole immediate family (mum, dad, sister and him) hung about at the hospital while his sister laboured waiting for the baby to be born. I found this really odd as it didn't seem normal especially watching OBEM where even the outed DH didn't really have anywhere to hang about. I really don't want anyone other than the birth partners there when I'm labouring. I know they probably don't let anyone else hang about unless it's on the ward in visiting hours anyway but I can just imagine them all waiting nearby like in hospital cafe or something seeing as they did this before. Anyway, I don't want that to happen and I don't want him to be constantly bombarded with texts/calls about my progress, have I had the baby yet etc. He seems to be under the impression that it will be the case though and I don't know how to say tell your family to just wait til we say the baby is here without making him think I dislike his family, especially since I'm letting my own DM be totally involved in the whole process. I know a lot of people just don't tell when they go into labour and then just call to say they've had the baby but I can see him taking this badly too as I know he will want to tell his lot when I do start. I only plan on telling my DM (obviously) and DDad. I know if he just tells MIL and FIL the whole of the bloody town they live in will know how dilated I am!! Argh. Anyway, what do you think is normal, what did you/are you going to do about this kind of thing? After baby is one worry about all the dropping in of visitors, but at least I can be prepared for that, certainly can't entertain the thought of loads of visitors immediately wanting to see the baby as soon as it is out!!

I'm with you, ham - just your birth partners need to know details, you & they should be focused on the labour not the rest of the world! Having your DM there is different - she is your mum, she birthed you & you want her there - your in laws aren't the same, no matter how well you get on etc.
Could your DH maybe just let them know when you've gone into hospital & then turn his phone off? (he should anyway & may not get a signal!)
Lots of hospitals limit visiting hours for everyone except partners & if you tell the MW's you don't want visitors, they will guard you fiercely! They can also be relied upon to come and shoo people out after an agreed amount of time if necessary.
I'm still trying to decide if I want to have my sister there as well as DH & if so whether it'll upset my Mum (whom I love dearly but she's too much of a worrier & too different to me to be a good birthing partner!) - DSis lives quite a way away so it may not be practical!
Good luck with the ILs anyway!

When I had DS they had signs up saying only 1 birth partner allowed. I had DH as a birth partner, but allowed my mum to come in every so often if DH needed a break for food etc. But the MW said they both could be in the room at same time.

I had gone into labour at 3am, so really no one knew that I was in labour unless we told them - I had texted a few close friends to ask for prayer, but these friends all lived far away and wouldn't have fancied seeing my business end anyway!

My mum knew I was in labour as on the way to hospital we'd stuck our front door key through her letterbox so she could go round at a sensible hour to feed the cat. Once the cat was sorted out she rang DH to find out what was happening.

In-laws had told DH a few weeks previous to "just ring us when Needles has had the baby" so that is what he did and they came up to visit us in hospital the next day.

Honestly prior to having DS I was irked at the idea of having visitors early, but when he was born and I wanted to show off the cutest, most precious baby in all of Northern Ireland I was glad for them to visit! However, I was strict in saying that I only wanted close family to the hospital, I'd told friends to wait a few days then come to the house. Overall, I had family visit me in hospital and our Minister called up which was sweet of him but I was in a bit of state having not slept all night and had blistered sore nipples and a newborn trying to get the hang of breastfeeding.

Really there is no right or wrong, just whatever you're comfy with. But don't let people railroad you into letting them visit unless they are coming laden with gifts or coming to actually help!

When I did have visitors to the house I got a bit peed off as only about 1 person offered to make their own cup of tea and most people sort of waited for me to serve them.... when DC2 I will direct everyone to the kitchen before they're allowed a cuddle

Sorry that's a bit of a ramble, but wanted to tell what I did.

(28+2)

Needles, I read somewhere on MN that with a newborn this mantra applies: 'cuddles in exchange for Cake, Casserole or Cleaning'. I have already MENTIONED this to a few people who are likely to visit us...! One of my mums friends has already started baking for her share of cuddles! There is other great advice on MN for example staying in pyjamas all day so that visitors don't stay too long as it gives the impression that you are tired.

Is anyone else feeling really tired? I can't seem to stay awake. We went out yesterday afternoon to a festival for four hours and I was exhausted. Still am.

ham I feel your pain. I am extroverted but not social in the sense of keeping family and friends up to date. Half the time, I think they have no business knowing and I don't give two cents either how far dilated my friends are.

And I am not a very delicate person. Rubbing people up the wrong way is a consequence of independence which needs to be borne, in my mind.
I and DH, first of all decide between us what we think is best for our family and then we consider how to fit in the rest of the extended family... That way both of us agree on what the approach is.

in your case, it does seem like diplomacy is called for as you and your DH already have set but differing ideas on how this could work. The only thing I can think of is talking... You have a fear of loads of people around and he is more into keeping up with family. There is negotiable middle ground there. Relatives can be kept at bay and texted at set times after labour onset. All phones are off inbetween or something like that.

I have never laboured and think it is a tricky thing to do to put it mildly. I think your DH will understand that anything that makes you comfortable during that time may not only shorten labour but maybe make it safer for you and baby. That should be incentive enough for a bit of compromise from his side too...

long long.... sorry. lazy sunday == me rambling on....

You know I thought the other thread was a bit quiet!

I'm looking into changing bags at the mo and am hankering after the Pacapod Portland bag... Thoughts? No idea what to put in it though, is there a good list I can use to make sure I don't miss anything? :)

ham I hope you get this resolved with your DH, I can't think of anything worse than labouring and keeping the ILs/whole world updated at the same time!

We didn't tell anyone when I went into labour 1st and 2nd time - although my sister did know 2nd time and she had been to visit me for the day when my contractions started. It was nice that family knew, but she did keep wanting updates, which was a comfort to me but really annoying to DH who was having to forever text her during my labour.

This time, again, we won't tell anyone. DSis and my parents are all out of the country when I'm due to give birth anyway. We'll call the babysitter to watch DD1 and DD2, and then will let everyone else know once baby is here.

Perhaps your DH could update them to say you've gone into labour, and say that you really need him there or lie and say that mobiles aren't allowed on the ward and he'll let them know once baby arrives? I agree with geekette that you just need to explain your fears to him.

Had a lovely day enjoying jubilee celebrations yesterday with the DDs (DH is working all weekend), followed by a visit from an old friend I haven't seen in nearly 2 years now, and her 3 children.

Today is a sofa and DVD day. I was planning on taking DDs back into town for more jubilee celebration stuff today, but am absolutely shattered. The weather is supposed to improve tomorrow, so it's DVDs and watching the jubilee boat parade on tv today, and then back into town tomorrow.

As the birth gets closer I am really valuing the time with DDs, and feeling quite bad that a baby will take my attention away from them. DH is working like mad to get all of the house renovations completed before baby comes, it's going to be a very hectic final trimester for us.

I hope everyone else is well. ImissMiniPop did you manage to get in to visit MiniPop today? I hope London Transport is on your side, do let us know how he is doing.

Stinkyminkymoo I haven't seen the changing bag you mentioned, but I would definitely recommend getting one with a separate secure area for bottles (in case you are expressing or bottle feeding when out), this will also be handy for keeping eg spoons in when you are at the feeding stage.

I have a Mamas and Papas rucksack, and it's really just like a normal rucksack, so very impractical for keeping bottles/nappies/toys etc all separate from each other, so I was constantly rummaging through and emptying the whole bag whenever I needed to get to something. I don't use the bag anymore.

Hopefully Ham your mil will understand about you just wanting your DH and mum there for the actual birth. My mil has always kept her distance when I've been in labour but then both mine were born in the middle of the night which got me out of that one . I've told my DH this time that I would like our two children to meet their baby brother first and then the grandparents and so on can visit when we've had that time together. I couldn't think of anything more awful than just giving birth and having visitors! The need to catch your breath, hold your new born and wash the trauma away is crucial. It's your very special time and people have to respect what you feel comfortable with.

Goodness! The TARDIS must be of that Pacapod Portland bag...
Not getting a changing bag yet so am not of any help but that video is awesome.

Just back from a quick walk across the road to watch the floatilla. Not a huge jubilee fab but as it's right outside our hone we felt obliged to take dd who loved the boats despite the rain!

west I'm still always shattered ... Not sleeping much at night tho. And I love that mantra...!

With dd1 I went into hospital at 1am sun, in laws came at around 9am next day. Didn't mind mil coming in to sit with me while dh and I chilled (post epidural!) wouldn't have had anyone other than dh in there when I had contractions or pushing! Altho mil did keep trying to sneak in when I was pushing and that annoyed me lots! This time it's a c/s so have said my parents can come on the day ( not into surgery tho ! ) and in laws next day if I'm feeling up to it. We had friends over very early (within a week) which I wouldn't do again as with a third degree tear and lack of sleep trying to host was far too much!

Ps poppy did you make it into see mini pop? Just saw your post on c/s recovery tips, I lost a fair bit of blood with dd (but didn't need a transfusion) there was something from holland & barrett I had which tasted vile but high in iron andcrecommended by the midwives, let me know if you want me to find the name of it. Hope you're recovering well x

Hi poppy it was called floradix from h&b...

Ham, you must tell DH that you don't want what his sister had. My friend had the same thing but I'll never understand it! I just want it to be me and DH and that's it. No one else until we are ready.

West I totally know what you mean re tiredness. It's exhausting!! I keep waking up at night with cramp in my left leg