Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads part 9

[bigmacandhappymeal]

New thread!

Good luck dachs!!! glad to hear you have two embies. I'd be tempted to put them both back, but that's just me. What does Mr Dachs think?

Have fun nursery shopping daisy loving the sound of the veggies

Good luck with the rummage owl!!

Hello to everyone else xxx

Dachs great news on the two embys, not an easy decision, but I'm sure you and Mr Dachs will make the right choice for you both at this time.

Owl PMSL at you pogoing

Daisy reckon the veg sound good, but I just know you'll go for cars!!

Irene hope the iron does the trick, I had ferrous fumarate pills 3 a day and I got my iron from 10 to 13 in a month, I had to remember to swill it down with orange juice and eat lots of veg to keep t'other end functioning, but it really, really did the trick for me.

Collie I've given up on sodding summer, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. We had the heating on last night
Should we make a booking for our meet up??

On a final note, I've two tickets to next Friday nights Prom at the Royal Albert Hall going spare, my Dad's not feeling up to going, so if anyone is interested then message me. The concert's Brahms (and looks wonderful) and the tickets are in the circle and were £20 each, I'd just like to get shot of them so Dad stops feeling so guilty that he can't go

all round

dachs great news on your embies but sorry you now have a tough decision - do the clinic give you a steer as to what they think is best or do they just leave it to you?

Need a bit of reassurance today. The last few days I've been having a few sharp pains in the evening, they've been unpleasant but bearable and I've managed to reassure myself that it's stretching/round lig stuff. Just now I had an almight sharp stretching pain, made me wince and move and if it would have gone on, I don't know what, but it stopped pretty quick. Anyone else had anything similar - is this ok do you think?

apologies for pingpong/flower fanjo mix up!

doo where are they? I've had these where my thigh meets my groin (esp if I get up too quickly) and in the last few days near my breastbone/top of ribs if I turn too much. I'm sure it will be nothing but might be worth calling the MW just so that you can relax?

Scooby I've been getting some really sharp pains too, down almost into the ahem, fanjo area, and then sometimes right across my bump too. I've put it down to karate kid practising his/her moves on my insides and just making sure everything is hit for good measure. Some of the sharpest twinges have to be the bits of me that are moving about to make way for all the growing going on.

Collie can you remember the link MummyA posted to that baby growing interactive, really helped me get some reassurance about why I might feel all stretchy and odd.

HTH?

thanks blackkat. Do your pains always come when it's moving? I'm just panicking a bit cos I can't feel it moving right now, although I'm trying to reassure myself that I don't normally feel it moving all day anyway. Just had a worrying trip to the loo, but thankfully no sign of anything untoward at the mo.

oops - just missed bigmacs post - the other day they were towards my side at the top of bump. The horrid one just now was in the middle, deep inside. I think I might have just felt a few movements but much smaller ones than normal, so now I'm worried it's distressed or something. Eeek

No the movement and the twinges seem separate, I'm assuming that I'm being thwacked pretty often and can't always feel them, so sometimes the thwacks transfer themselves into twinges.
Agree with Bigmac if I move too quickly or awkwardly I know about it, and if I've slouched in any chair then I know about it too.....

I've had some worrying loo trips bcs I feel so damp (TMI) but it's normal apparently, but I end up going through at least 2 pairs of knickers a day...gross gross gross

Oh ladies I am having a bad day today. :( Can't seem to shake the tears, feel really sorry for myself. Feel fat and frumpy and horrible. Feel like this pregnancy is dragging on forever. I just want to feel happy but I don't. I still feel so detached from it all and I feel like my mind is keeping me detached for a reason. I just can't imagine having this baby. I just have this gut feeling it is still going to go wrong and I look at the stuff I've bought and I hate it. I want it gone. I look at babies and feel nothing. The desire to have a baby that I had when TTC has gone completely.

Sorry for being so depressive this morning :( and sorry for me me me and no catch up.

Blimey I have already left it too late for a proper catch up!

PMSL at your DH's names for you velvet I especially like Karl Porkington - much more imaginative that the "fatty" my colleagues were using

scooby I've had that a few times, kind of like a stitch? I would give your day assessment unit a call if you're worried though - I get the impression they are happy to talk about stuff over the phone and only call you in if they really think it's needed.

coconuts big hugs for you. I too am an emotional freak today, spent two hours crying to my mum on the phone this morning. Today's episode was triggered by the fact that SIL is having a 4D scan next month that all the grandparents from both sides of the family are going to and it's all going to be a lovely celebration blah blah, and then a baby shower a couple of months afterwards, and I think it's just reignited a heap of jealousy about how carefree her entire pregnancy has been for her and how everyone has got this supreme overriding confidence that everything is obviously going to be fine, because bad stuff obviously only happens to other people. Then I feel wracked with guilt that I am ruining my pregnancy for myself and that the odds of it going wrong are really small and worrying about it now isn't going to make any difference and I should be trying to enjoy it now. Urghghgh so anyway in my rambling way, I'm trying to say you're not the only one feeling like that......

pink i know what you mean, I have ruined it for myself which makes me tens times more upset with myself becaue it's all my fault. If it wasn't for me mithering on everyone would be excited about it. I go to this toddler group where loads of women are pregnant and are chatting about names etc and they're only like 15weeks. I just get this feeling of rage inside me. Rage at myself for feeling jealous and not letting myself get on with it. I just don't know how to snap out of it. I feel like this on a day to day basis I'm just good at putting a face on. I don't have anyone other than DH to talk to and he isn't that great with emotions and making me feel better and to be fair even if he said the right things I wouldn't pay attention to them I get the impression my mum doesn't give two shits (long story) and I just want someone to give me hug and tell me it'll be ok but instead I'm just at home in my pjs with a 3yo who wants to talk about toy story. :(

Hello again, thanks so much for all the lovely replies. (Sorry I posted last night and then disappeared)...

I will definitely stop looking at the miscarriage threads. Completely stupid.

And I will check out the freak out thread... I kind of thought this was the freak out thread, but now I've read a few more of the posts here, I think you're probably all a bit further on and maybe freaking out a bit less!

Good luck all and thanks again :)

Ohhh what a busy morning!!!!

dachs 2 embries is really good news especially if one is class A! My cats brought home a dead bird last night which was in your honour (seriously they've never bought dead things home before and thats 4 things in a week!). I'm sorry it wasn't more as that must make the decision of how many to put back in and if to freeze one very difficult. Am I right in thinking you want to freeze to make the next go cheaper? Is it a lot more expensive? I think I'd be tempted to put both in too, to give it the best shot, but then how likely is it that both will fertilise and how do you feel about the potential of twins again? Suppose it's also very easy to say that as an outsider not shelling out £100's and £1000's on ivf. I'm sure you and DH will make the right decision. What's next?

wiw glad you had a good apt and another sneaky scan. Really nice to hear you are enjoying the pregnancy. I really feel if it wasn't for all my back and rib pain then I would be, but it's bloody driving mental!

irene yay for busy b&b, I love the edinburgh festival. My friend was in it a couple years ago with a play she wrote. It was such a lovely atmosphere!

pink love your pelvic floor exercises, although why don't I understand 3?!!

owl owlet must be very comfy in there. Did you have your curry or did you save that for tonight? Good luck for sweep, I can't wait to hear little owlet news!

Psml at velvets new name!!!! although I think I'd have walloped DH in the eye!!! (or cried given my current hormonal state!)

blackkat no, we cant give up on summer.... I'm going away in our vw in a week!! . Yes I def think we should book a table - we need a time. daisy we need to plan a time for our northern meet up and thought we should plan it around you and mouse as i think you are travelling furthest. Can you let us know on the other other thread what time suits you?

doo I've been getting the odd pain running down from my upper chest (in-between boobs) down to belly. Doesn't last long, just a second or two but it usually takes my breath away. I just put them down to stretching or something pulling and another thing for me to moan about

blackkat funnily enough I only got that web page up again the other day. I find it hugely reassuring actually, but not so much about my back. doo do you remember the link, you might find it reassuring too! see here

Ohh coconuts you've been doing so well!!! You are not fat (although can relate to the feeling as mw suggested today, while looking at my naked belly, that because of my back, maybe I should avoid gaining too much weight!! WTF does that mean???) Totally understand the feeling that the pg is dragging too. I'm desperate to enjoy it, but I'm so uncomfortable these days it's making me miserable and I just can't help but get depressed at the thought of another 15 weeks of this! But it will come! And I just have to keep reminding myself to at least try to enjoy the now, as life will change so much. Re all the baby stuff you've got, can you throw it all in a spare room and close the door until you're in a happy place again? The feeling of dread is normal-I made the mistake of looking at the mc threads the other day and found one full of people who'd had stillbirths. It was so sad. BUT, that's NOT going to be us, and there is no reason to think it would be.I get so much joy from every birth news we get in here, as it's another happy ending for one of us who has been through so much.

took me sooo long to write that you've all posted more!

pink what you've said makes total sense to me, about the guilt thing. And it really doesn't help when people are telling me to try and enjoy it!!! Aghhh coconuts you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. YOU have NOT ruined your experience of this pg, it was unfortunately your mc that did that. We're all the same, so it's not you, it is sadly, just they way it is for us. And really, what the fuck does it matter whether we enjoy the pg or not. Of course it makes the time go quicker, and is nice, but it doesn't make us any better parents. The feeling that you've lost the desperate wish for this will come back when it arrives. You're just tired, hormonal, and drained from the constant worry. But it will be ok, and you will be happy x

Oh arse coconuts I'm worried that I've made you feel even worse when I was trying to make you feel better I think we're all going to be fine, and once the babies are here all these weird confusing feelings will melt away and we can just enjoy the babies. Just feel a bit bitter that the excitement of this stage has been taken away, but realistically we haven't taken it away for ourselves, so the guilt about ruining it for ourselves is misplaced - the previous pregnancy loss took the excitement and innocence away. I feel like other pregnant people that haven't gone through what we have are really arrogant in their assumptions that stuff only happens to other people - I think that's where the rage comes from.

collie I meant to say about the car seat - I've got a maxi cosi pebble with isofix base, and the people at the shop recommended that we get the base fitted about 6 weeks before the baby is due. DH wants to drive around with the car seat in the back because he thinks it's cool. I've overruled him and make him take the seat out for now but at least we know how it fits now.

elmmum it's not stupid to go on the MC threads, trust me, we've all been on them to torture ourselves a bit more - it's like picking a scab!!

Am now carrying two embies, so I guess I'm on the 2ww again!

Will post more when I get home.

Cripes dachs didn't think you had to make the decision today! eeK! Well, Yay for being on the 2ww. How do you feel? Got EVERYTHING crossed for you xxx

Oh pink don't be daft! You haven't made me feel worse whatsoever. That's how I felt anyway before you posted, it made me feel better that I'm not the only one. Thanks to you and collie for making me feel a bit better. :)

I have dragged my arse off the sofa and got dressed, tidied up a bit and had some lunch so feel a bit more normal-ish. Got to get on with things I suppose. Going to go up town today for a wander and buy myself some food and maybe some new shoes so I'll feel ok soon :)

Sorry for being so miserable.

dachs I have everything crossed for you my love! The 2ww is torturous at the best of times so hope it goes by quite quickly for you :) Quick decisions you and DH have made so hope you are feeling ok. xx

Whoooaaahhh so much to catch up on, I'll never manage to a personal to everyone, sorry:

dachs goodness!! Hope you're ok lovely, and have everything firmly crossed for you x

cep I have your cold ! How are you feeling now?

collie stay off the Mc board!! I can't bear to go on there at the moment.

Congrats to auntie Lara! Need name details...

doo happy 21 weeks to us!! Your pains sound like stretching to me, but do get checked out just to put your mind at rest.

I totally understand all the tears and fears going on around here at the moment. It's my first due date today, and although I'm quite calm at the moment, I haven't been over the last couple of days. Then I feel guilty for getting upset because if I hadn't had my 2mc's then I wouldn't be preg with my Bug....... and round I go again! It's so difficult.

Coconuts, hormones are so difficult to deal with aren't they. [Hands Coconuts a cup of decaf tea some biscuits and a hanky]. Just remember you have your own lovely baby inside you. I know what you mean about the urge to have a baby having gone, I've struggled with that too. My main emotion for ages has been WTF was I thinking? DS has helped though because he is so excited to have a brother. I've got nothing for the baby yet either, just a packet of vests from SIL and a few of DS's old sleepsuits. I'm scared to jinx it but I'm sure I really should buy a buggy and a moses mattress.

Dachs, everything crossed for you .

Pink even for the smuggest of new parents, something will bite them in the arse eventually. Let them enjoy their 4d scan and easy pregnancy. She'll have a crap birth, or a baby with colic, or a tantrumming toddler or a fussy eater or a wayward teen. You never get off scott free! With DS I had an easy pregnancy, and survived a EMCS fairly well but had awful times breastfeeding, the first 6 weeks of DS's life were the worst of mine. Then of course the miscarriage stuff to deal with when trying again.

~I'm going to have to wave to everyone else because I've got loads to do. DH has taken DS to softplay so I've had time to prepare the rooms for our next guests. Been ironing bedding all morning. Now I've got to get my drawing board out and design a garden for a farmhouse up the road. Am knackered but at least it is money coming in.

thanks for the advice re the pain ladies - I called the mw and she was lovely but said the come in if it got worse or anything else happened. Think I've calmed myself down a bit, but feel better that I called atleast.

dachs - wow, two little embies in you - do you have to go and rest up now. Would the next thing be a scan after the 2ww (thanks for being so patient with the questions and educating me/us - I hope it's not really irritating, just ignore me if so!

coconuts sorry you're having a down day - shoe shopping sounds sensible to me, like others have said, you've been doing fantastically well up to now so be kind to yourself and ride out the down patch as best you can. pink hope this doesn't sound rude about your SIL but a 4D scan with both sets of GPs? That's a bit overkill jees - some people are so gutsy/naieve/odd - even without mcs and scares, I'd never do something like that - there's plenty of time for attention and cooing and excitement with GPs once a baby has arrived surely? Sorry to go on about it - I'm just empathising as that would have upset/annoyed me somewhat too.

Right - must do some work now. Just been in a toy shop to buy a friends DD a 1st bday pres, found lots of things I wanted to buy for bub, I haven't bought a single thing yet, still lots of time and not quite ready yet, but longing for the day when I feel I'm ok to buy cute stuff!

Oh, forgot to say - bigmac I never responded about the research you mentioned about fans in hospitals - that was really interesting and you didn't scare me, just prompted me to get a little fan before too long!

waves to harassed too - 21 today hey!

scooby THe next thing is a pg test after the 2ww! :) Then, if that's positive, a scan at 7 weeks to see how many took and if there is a heartbeat. (Although last time I had spotting so I paid for a scan at 6 weeks to see if there was anything there)

thanks for educating this clueless lady dachs - wishing you all the luck in the world with the 2ww, I hope it passes as quick and uneventfully as it possibly can.

Dachs if the HPT is positive is the seven week scan 7weeks from today or 7 weeks from the potential BFP so 9 weeks time? The whole process is amazing from an outsider POV although nervewracking for you I expect. Wishing you the best of luck.

irene Thanks for the tea and a hanky, just what I needed. :) I'm not sure I know you from the other thread but I took ages to buy anything so don't worry about that. I only bought stuff because babies r us had a sale on the steri system we wanted and I ended up getting carried away with blankets and lamaze toys and have bought nothing since. Nothing left over from DD so have to buy all from scratch. Do you run a B&B? You sound terribly busy (I think that's half my problem, having nothing to do to pass the time)

scooby Glad MW was lovely and you feel a bit better :)

pink I agree with scooby definite overkill on your SILs part and can understand why it would make you feel a little hormonal.

Thanks all for being so nice. I hate these wobbles I keep having. I need to get out and do more. Sitting at home doing nothing isn't making time go any faster and it certainly doesn't help when it comes to my brain going into overdrive. Had a nice trip into town. Bought myself some new hairclips and headbands (had a fringe cut in yesterday so need some clips for days when I cba to wash it!), bought us an ice cream and walked home after it had rained with that lovely rainy smell (my fave smell :) )

AND.... when I got home there was a parcel waiting for me.... DH had imported me some of my fave american cereal that I had a craving for as a surprise. :) :)