Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 8

[tiggersreturn]

new thread!!

Dachs how about learning some Italian for your trip (if you don't already speak it of course)? There are loads of free podcasts you can get for languages on iTunes and with 4 weeks of intensive work you really could be quite good.

I'm sorry your friends haven't replied re the cremation - you're right it doesn't take much to reposond. Maybe they just don't know what to say or how to handle it?

Pink my fingers have been hovering over the keyboard ready to post on that thread but I remember the flaming we got last time and really can't be arsed with them all. Was a bit pissed with the comment "noone enjoys being pg (except the wierdos)". Apart from my hip/pelvis pain I'm quite enjoying it atm and, although the first trimester wasn't much fun (partly because of the freaking out), I couldn't say I hated it.

Half term this week yippee but it does give me more mentalling time! I have a physio appointment in the morning so I'm really hoping she can sort me out.

Oh Dachs we will all be there with you on Thursday in spirit.

On ideas to keep busy for a while, is there a local charity you could volunteer at? What about a dog rescue centre?

i think i like the idea of learning some Italian before we go, as it's something that will focus my attention on something other than the twins. Am investigating online courses but there are too many to choose from! (And the ones that look good are really expensive...) Thanks for the ideas though :)

Feeling a bit agoraphobic at the moment so something that doesn't require leaving the house and being with strangers appeals...

tigger I'm on leave at the moment - the doc has given me an open ended sick note that states a minimum of two months on it, which I'm pleased about as my boss was a complete nightmare and the thought of going back at the moment is horrible.

Dachs if you are going to buy language courses go with something by Michael Thomas. His technique for teaching is brilliant.

moo huge congratulations on the safe arrival of Caleb - he sounds gorgeous!

pink just hide the silly threads! They make me too so I just try not to read them - I think there's a small part of me that's secretly slightly envious of that blasé attitude where the most you worry about is how uncomfortable you are with swollen ankles, or whether you'll be able to buy pink baby clothes; I do realise these are genuine concerns for people but it all seems so trivial.

dachs I'm sorry your friends haven't responded . Sadly I think a lot of people just don't know how to handle it, especially if they've never been affected by any sort of mc. I know you probably feel they've let you down, and tbh I do think it's bloody rude not to reply, but the important thing is that you and dh have the chance to think about and remember Alexander and Felicia and say a proper goodbye.

Re bleeding, I think mine stopped after a couple of weeks both times, and my cycles returned after about 6 weeks (I didn't bf - I know it's un-mn but don't flame me; had a crap time of it with ds). I don't know if that's a normal amount of time or not though.

I will be thinking of you and your dh on Thursday and hope it all goes as well as it can xx

Dachs I think I did Pimsleur basic Spanish about 2 years ago (still trying to remember the name but pretty sure that's it) and it was a great and very useful course. I needed a bit of basic Spanish for the job I was doing in order to cut the ice with some people I was dealing with. It had lots of useful phrases for usual holiday issues. I used to listen to it while cooking and driving and ds would recite it along with me. There's an Italian version. I got the Spanish one out of the library so the cost was very low.

I hope people come for you on Thursday but whatever happens the important thing is that it's right for you, dh, Alexander and Felicia. The audience are secondary to that.

I'm glad you've got 2 months off work. I know it's probably not the time to think about big changes but if your boss is that bad why not have a look at what other job opportunities are out there? After all it won't be difficult to escape work to attend job interviews . I'm a big fan of change of job change of luck as it worked for me but if something is making you really unhappy which you do have an ability to change there's no reason to consider that you have to make do with the situation. Taking control even at the risk of instability can be quite empowering. Just another thought on things to occupy your time.......

Pink hide the threads.... ;) wouldn't worry about them toots. Can't say I enjoy pregnancy but it's a means to an end to give me the one thing I want in the world the most. Loved loved loved it last time, this time it's hard running round after 3yo, working ft and being a lot sicker!! But.... Every day when I visit the loo I am very very grateful to be this pregnant ;)

Dachs wombat is right. We will all be there with you in spirit on thursdayxxxx very rude of people not to at least acknowledge you, maybe they don't know what to say? Dunno.. Still rude!
In terms of bleeding post birth, sorry to say I was 3 months. I didn't get normal cycles back until I stopped bf when he was two. Izz timescale is more likely for you xx

Dachs lovely, if you have the energy and the inclination a bit of gardening can do wonders for the soul. It's what I turn to when I am feeling like shite - particularly things like bunging some tomato plants in growbags. Being outside is generally really good anyway - even a short walk somewhere quiet might help. And Tigger is right - your boss is a complete arse and perhaps even if you don't feel up to applying for other jobs, you can at least find out what's out there and what you might fancy doing.

On Thursday please consider all of us right there with you, behind you, supporting you all the way. xx

Pink not sure about cauliflower, but at least it's healthier than my hobnob craving. Glad jojo's had something. I saw the new 'I hate' thread and thought of you and last time. You're right not worth it, but so hard to ignore
apples I'm glad you can rest a bit more now, miniapples must just be so comfy in there :)
Moo congrats and that's such a lovely name. Very of your cuddles
Nix I had a couple of quieter days then remembered what you said before - I hadn't been the loo for a few days, back to 'normal' now. I hope you've had good weather for the long weekends
Owl my MW said the main thing is that it is 10 separate kicks, not a series together, but can be strong or mild. Don't know if this helps, I'll be in if I'm at all unsure, rather be a bother than miss something
Wombat I've put on 23lbs so far it all seems to be on bump so trying not to worry too much. If miniwombat wants chocolate you can't help that
Velvet good luck with the physio
Dachs I am so very sorry you need to be going through this at all, especially after all you have already been through. And very sorry about the replies :( I'm thinking of you every day, but will be especially so Thursday - we'll all be there in spirit. I like the job hunting idea, the only idea I can add is maybe something creative? I did a night class in pottery and found it very therapeutic. Doesn't help if you want something to do at home sorry :/

Yep definitely no more camping for me this pg! My back is just getting back to normal now. Anyone else struggling to be bothered about work? All I want to do is eat, sleep and wait for miniorange to kick. Wish I could get paid for doing nothing :)

I just went looking for the thread (masochistic urge) but got diverted by the gentle thread just above it (curious juxtoposition) and discovered that Louise is 8 weeks pg! I really hope everything works out for her this time.

Dachs I do think that basic politeness appears to be dying. If you're too uncomfy to talk to someone then send a card!

Tigger I thought Louise was more far along than that? Must check out post grads;) v v v pleased either way ;)

Dachs good idea by owl... Gardening! Or what about a renovation at your house, something you can focus on to try to distract you? Missed the bit about your boss being an arse.,.will scroll back :-s

large and embarrassing melt down at MW apt, stress of business on top of move etc etc all too much... off to Spain for a few days (now no choice in the matter) as was referred to doc and he's concerned about prem. labour!
Catch you all towards the end of next week, hopefully a more happy, stress free bunny!

Big whoooop for baby moo

wombat orange can't even be arsed to weigh myself, am huge and that's that!

Dachs I will be there in spirit holding your hand xxx

sorry can't name check everyone, am exhausted and off to bed. Catch you all next week x

Louise is pg? Oh that's great news, I do hope it all goes well. I thought I'd seen a post from her but with a different name but didn't like to ask

Mamap I'm very glad to hear you're taking a break, but not glad to hear about you dr's concerns. Poor thing, I hope you're takin it easy x

Thanks orange it's because of all the natural chemicals I'm flooding my body with ie: adrenalin! I guess any baby is going to want to get the hell out of there if it's flooded with chemicals!! Oh well, all packed, friends tonight and fly tomorrow

dachs I agree with everything tigger said-having a surf around the Internet to see what jobs are out there sounds like a fab idea, even if you don't feel like actually applying for them. I hope your friends pull themselves together and get in touch today.

mamap you poor thing! Well done for opening up to the MW though and I'm v glad you're going on holiday, you definitely deserve it. Ps. I've thought about almost nothing but Ferrero Rocher since the weekend......

izz hope you're having a fantastic time!

Fab news about Louise!!

orange I could have written your post-I'm finding work a struggle too. Am thinking about finishing up in early August.

Hope you all have a good day!

forgot to check date on gentle thread. Louise was 8 wks at end of March so hopefully 16 now. I think I saw her under angelgeorgie recently.

Hello. I?m not sure I?m quite ready to join yet, but I thought I?d pop in. I?m 15+3 today so still in the ?freak out? zone, but gradually beginning to believe this could, maybe, work out ok for us and I?m starting to try and make myself thing about what?s to come, and to try to start to enjoy it.

So can I join your waiting to join list?.just for now?

Caribou congratulations on your baby boy, Caleb is a lovely name.

apples I?m actually quite of you having started mat leave. November feels like so long off, I wonder if I?ll ever get there and if it will ever come around.

Dachs I think its dreadful that people haven?t replied to you regarding the cremation tomorrow it makes me so . I really hope it is because people are planning to attend, but indeed fear its because people just don?t know what to say ? which doesn?t make it ok at all. I hope that tomorrow goes as well as something as sad can, and please remember that even though we cannot be with you in person, so many of us off these threads will be with you in thought, holding you hand and remembering beautiful Felicia and Alexandra.

Re things you could do ? how about buying a couple of box-sets off amazon and watching them? The Wire, Dexter, Prison Break, Inbetweeners can all be recommended.

@ remembering the rage of pink velvet and Tigger at the ?I hate pg? thread. I was just a lurker then, still on the ttc post mc thread but I was totally with you at the time. But I agree, best to just ignore the threads, as even if you did prick their conscience they?d never admit it and its just not worth getting worked up over.

Wednesday's list - hope I've got this right - please check!! Anyone heard from Tigerbear? I'm thinking she's probably had the baby by now...?

Tigerbear - baby#1 42 +5wks EDD 14th May
appleblossoms - baby#2 38+4 wks EDD 11th June
crochetcircle - baby#1 38+4 wks EDD 11th June
LittleMiss - baby#1 36+5 wks EDD 24th June
Wobblewatcher - baby#2 36+2 wks EDD 27th June
urbanlolly - baby#2 34+1 wks EDD 12th July
Inbetweener - baby#3 33+3 wks EDD 17th July
Nickster - baby#2 30+4 weeks EDD 7th August
Owlbooty - baby#1 30+4 weeks EDD 7th August
PrettyVacant - baby#1 27+4 weeks EDD 28th August
OrangeGloss ? baby#1 26+3 weeks EDD 4th September
Wombat33 - baby#1 25+4 weeks EDD 10 September
Daisybell - baby#1 24+3 weeks
PinkFondantFancy - baby#1 23+1 weeks EDD 25 September
Tiggersreturn babies #2&3 23+1 wks EDD 26 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 23 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 21+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 19+2weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 19+2 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 19+1 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 17+5 wks EDD 4th November
Izzy - baby #3 14+2 wks EDD 28th November

Waiting to join the list:
emmywoo
Purplehibiscus
Lucysnowe
Colllieandpup

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:

Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz
HappyGirl with daughter Ciara born 10th December, 8lb2oz
Malteser1981 with son Eli born 18 December, 8lb 6oz
Zayja with daughter Winona born 19 December, 7lbs 11oz
Sparklyrainbow with son Alex born 28th December, 9lb 7oz
GoodLuckBear with son James born 25th December, 8lb
BunnyBaby with son Daniel George born 5th January 2011, 10lb 1oz
AlbaDeTamble - with son born 10th Jan 2011, 8lbs 10oz
Gilda - with son Ren born 10th Jan 2011, 8lb 4oz
WestYorkshireGirl - with daughter Hester Rose born 14th Jan 2011, 6lb 4oz
Redheadgal - with daughter Cecily Anne born 13th Jan 2011, 8lbs 13oz
Toomuchteaching - with daughter Jemima Ella Phoebe born 17th Jan 2011, 8lb1/4oz
Dorcas111 - with daughter born 4th February 2011 8lbs 5oz
Clareanna - with son Tobias born 10th February 7lbs 10oz
Muser - with daughter born 15th February 6lbs 12oz
Ba8y1 ? with son born Tuesday 15th February, 8lbs 11oz
Lotta123 - with baby born Monday 21st February
Magic8ballhastheanswers - Identical twin girls, born 27th February 6lb8 & 5lb15
Northerngoldilocks - with son born Wednesday 16th March, 9lb 6oz
Stuffedmk - with son Thomas, born Wednesday 23rd March
Hopefully - with son, born 29th March 7lb 12oz
Lia - with daughter, born 1st April 8lb 11oz
PenguinsMummy - with daughter Clodagh
VivClicquot - with daughter, Phoebe, born Thursday 28 April, 7lb 5oz
Ivysedai - with son, born Tuesday May 2nd 3.83KG
Loopymumsy - with daughter, born Thursday 12th May, 7lb 15oz
Caribou - with son, Caleb, born Saturday 28 May, 9lb 1oz

In our thoughts and prayers:
Louise with daughter Georgie born asleep on 10th October
Dachs with her babies Alexander and Felicia who left the world asleep on 21st May

We share the pain and and mourn the loss with:
Jollster, Cheepz, Freezing, BarrenBrook, MsJL, LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle and Waterplate

This is the reading we've chosen for tomorrow:

Do not stand at our grave and weep
We are not there. We do not sleep.
We are a thousand winds that blow.
We are the diamond glints on snow.
We are the sunlight on ripened grain.
We are the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
We are the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
We are the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at our grave and cry;
We are not there. We did not die.

It feels strange choosing this kind of stuff. I hope it doesn't happen to any of you, and I'm really pleased that Louise is pg again. I won't be posting much tomorrow - not sure how I'm going to make it through the day, but at least I have now had a couple of responses re: the funeral.

Dachs the reading is beautiful and perfect. We had the same one at my nans and i think it says so much. I think the end is particulary beautiful and fitting for Alexandra and Felicia.

Again, i'm just so sorry that this has happened to you. Its so unfair.

I'm glad you've had responses and that loved ones will be around you. I can't begin to imagine how hard tomorrow will be and I wish you all the strength you need to get you though. You, Mr Dachs, your family and Alexandra and Felicia will be in my thoughts tomorrow and i'll light 2 more candles for them at 9.30.

Love x

Dachs :( xxx :( you will be very much in my thoughts tomorrow x

Tigger, i heard she was 16 weeks. IS on postgrads of this thread, but i cant find it!! Will have to stalk to congratulate ! Its brilliant news.....:)

collie lovely to see you!

dachs that is a beautiful reading. I've started crying on the train again Feel free to ignore me if this is inappropriate but I wondered if there's something that you'd like us to do to celebrate their lives. I was thinking maybe planting something in my garden that flowers in May, or sponsoring some trees in a forest? I hope it doesn't sound stupid or crass-it's just that as we're not going to be at the cremation it would be nice to do something for them.

If you wanted to do something it would be nice if you planted some lily of the valley - it's the birth plant for May and it's what we've asked the PIL to do.

dachs that reading is lovely. The lily of the valley is a beautiful idea and I've got a perfect spot in my garden. I'll be thinking of you and your family tomorrow xxx