you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

Have you had the baby yet then?

Ha ha! Only kidding

I got told in the space of 3 hours -

1. You're small for 4 months
2. You're big for 4 months
3. Have you had your pelvis measured?

A medal to you for not killing someone sooner- hang in there !

'have you tried a ginger biscuit?'

i was sick for the full 40+3, (although for the last couple of months it was only every second day...)

hmmmmmmm. think i tried that and it failed 6weeks in when i was admitted to hospital with severe dehyrdation due to hyperemsis!!!!!

Heh, I can relate. After being kept up all night with DD2, I went for a short, very painful walk around a small town centre a few months ago (I also have really bad SPD) with my perfectly fit and functional sister. We get home, she says something like "Oh, I am aching so badly, I am sore all over, I am exhausted and I really need to nap"

I indeed gave her the . To her credit, she twigged quite quickly..

i don't think i'll ever forget my BIL's comment during a 'guess the sex of the baby' discussion that it 'might be a HE-SHE'.

i got really upset - first pregnancy, told my husband to tell him off and that it wasn't on saying such a thing to a pregnant woman.

the worse thing was he repeated the comment over dinner with PILs - i flipped out and said i did not appreciate anyone saying my baby could be deformed.

it certainly beat the woman asking if i was expecting twins (i wasn't)...

I feel your pain Ivy. I have been thinking, and the next time someone feels the need to comment on how huge I am for 6 months (I actually think I have quite a trim bump), I am going to say 'yes, well I have been eating like a pig lately'. And when they inevitably say 'oh, you'd want to be careful not to put on too much weight, or you'll never get it off afterwards', I will say 'oh, don't worry, I am going to have liposuction and a tummy tuck when I get my CS'.

Totally feel your pain, 40+1 today, and no, no signs.

Firstly people asking about 'signs', it's ok if it's your AN mums you've known for years & already talked through birth stuff before, but Dads & FIL - do they really want me to talk about mucus plugs....

And DH yesterday took the when he moaned about being 'so tirrreeeddd' twice in one afternoon. Did lose the plot a tad

At least (finding a silver lining) I can freak people out now, when they ask 'oh when are you due?' errr yesterday!!

Hey I'm only 16 wks but had some 'friends' say "are you sure there is a baby in there?" as I have no bump whatsoever :( really upset me as im terrified enough as it is!x

I too have SPD and am 28 weeks, was off work last week and just been given crutches. Sick of MIL all last week asking what I was up to was I going to "Go for a wander around town"?!? I wish

MIL leaving about 10 messages on my phone in the space of an hour saying 'are you ok, you're not answering, is everything ok with the baby, I'm so worried that you're not answering, please ring me to tell me you're ok'.....I was driving!

'Second babies are always much bigger' - DS was 10lb 4oz!

Any scare stories involving sick babies/newborns requiring surgery/stillbirths/mothers needing emergency surgery/future incontinence etc., usually followed by 'Oh, I'm sure you'll be ok!' in a light breezy voice when they see your terrified face.

'Was it planned?' - nosy

Oh, and the lovely comment from my dad's friend...'What are you going to do about your business? It'll go to pot..' - thanks for the vote of confidence!

Elderly midwife mother of friend of mine on my planned homebirth when I was a very emotional 20 weeks. "Well wouldn't it be awful if you bled to death". I kid you not. I cried a lot.

Every single person has asked me so far "was it planned" it's really starting to get on my nerves, close friend and family fair enough but everyone else, mind your own business.

"was it planned?" or even better "tell me this wasn't planned?"
At 26 weeks with number 2 "So will you have anymore?" Can I have this one first please? She then topped it off with "won't stop till you get a girl eh?". I have fertility issues we are more than lucky to be this blessed.

magicmelons I agree with you! I was at the hairdresser a few weeks ago and after I told her I am her first question was "is it planned?" I mean WTF? I s this an acceptable thing to ask now? ;)

I am still quite early so no bump yet to attract comments but was already "berated" by email by a friend who just announced her engagement and wants us to attend her wedding and she's already planned it all: oh you're due in November right? (I am not - it's October 17 actually!) so a sept or oct wedding won't be a problem for you right (they're still setting the date)? My friend who is 8 months pregnant will be there! OH Ok then.......
May I add the wedding is in Canada :)

I kind of made up my mind that we're not going regardless :)

The woman at work who said to another pregnant woman in front of me, you look so glamourous, I hope I look as good as you when I'm pregnant. Erm thanks for reminding me I look like cr*p.

Or when I really want a girl the woman who said x will have a girl, you're having a boy ( erm how do you know) but x will have a girl, she'll be so cute with a mini x.

Or my mum who said dosn't it look like your brother when we showed her the scan. Erm no!

Family member/work colleague/friend/stranger in the street: 'How are you feeling?'

Me: 'Pretty rotten actually, I'm still being sick every day.'

Family member/work colleague/friend/stranger in the street:'But you can't be, your 6 months gone.'

Me: 'Would you like to check the contents of my sick bowl?'

I'm 31 weeks and it's not the hyperemesis I'm sick of (pardon the pun) it's these bloody comments.

I had a great one the other day from a cleaner where I work. I think in his own weird way he was trying to give me a compliament but saying...
"It's funny, you don't really look pregnant, more like you just put on loads and loads of weight..."
funny enough, I didn't see the compliamentary side of it!
EVERYONE else has been saying how small I am though which gets a bit annoying, you start wondering if everything is normal after the 50th comment....

My DP's friend (who is very strange anyway!) asked me "how's your metabolic rate?" !!! WTF! My midwife doesn't even ask me that! I couldn't answer as I was trying to stop myself laughing!

I was very ill in first pg, and have been so again. This has prompted an awful lot of

"Was it planned?"

Yes it bloody was! Don't be so rude! I managed not to have children for 37 years, I know what to do.

DS is only 2.5. A very normal age gap. If he was 9 or something, it might be a valid Q, but really....

I was also asked by a housing woman if my new baby has the same dad as DS whilst she was checking my flat had no holes knocked through walls etc lol

I think next time I meet a pg woman I'll ask

"Got a bit drunk and careless did you, or did your contraception fail? Did you have a tummy bug on the pill? Condom split...?"

My DH is walking a very fine line right now with the comments he comes out with - i'm 39 +3 and feeling very fed up. I spent 2 hours doing the ironing the other day, when he rang me to see how my day was going and I told him what I had done he didn't say 'you shouldn't be doing that, sit down and take it easy' NOOOOO he just said 'have you ironed me enough shirts for the week' ! I was not impressed.
I have reached the point when I daren't ring anyone because they answer the phone with 'have you popped yet?' - it's starting to get very irritating.
At least when in labour I can make my DH suffer a little bit - apparantly I hurt his hand last time - he should be grateful that was all I hurt!

i got asked twice in a day are you sure you are due in september....

yes I might look like a whale atm but yes I am sure it is september.

I was asked in a sympathetic tone by a surprising amount of women in the playground "was it an accident?" Its only my 3rd (now 9 weeks ), and I am 36, quite capable of managing my contraception.

grumblinalong I was sick every day until dd3 was 15 mins old, my sympathies.

Just wait until after the baby's born, I've just had dd3, apparently my husband is supposed to be quite disappointed because he has no-one to play football with . Mr W hasn't played football in 25 years and would be quite feckin' disappointed if anyone suggested it!!

my aunt after we announced I was pregnant at 12 weeks: "Oh, that's why you look so crap"
Well, I was feeling sick but thanks for reminding me.