you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

The other day, a woman said loudly to her friend as they walked past me: "Oh, I'd hate to be pregnant in this weather!"

Erm, hello?! I can hear you! And I wasn't even looking haggard, sweaty or anything (well, I didn't think so!)...

My favourite was from one of my aunts who is slightly obsessed with her daughter. I was 30ish weeks pg with my DD at the time and she was telling me all about my cousins 17 hr labour and finished up with the comment 'Wouldn't you feel so sorry for women who go through all that and come out with a dead baby.'

I kid you not!

This thread is so funny!!

DH's brother, when told of our pregnancy, immediately started quizzing DH as to how long it took us to conceive in a very competitive manner. (He managed to 'knock up' his teenage GF on one go apparently - so not a competition that we were even entering!).

Also when I said that cheese on toast was one of the only foods I could manage during morning sickness, MIL insisted in a smug manner that this obviously meant I was expecting a boy. PG hormones kicked in there and I'm ashamed to say I gave her a bit of a lecture on my views on old wives tales.

And numerous comments from FIL about 'fingers crossed for a c-section as otherwise it'll be like throwing a sausage up a chimney for my DH'. I have promised myself that if he comments again, I WILL retaliate!

My family have generally been lovely though! Thank goodness

The worst things anyone has said to me came from my line manager (no kids). I overheard her telling a colleague that by 7 months I would "be too big to be useful" but the one that really took the biscuit was once I'd started ML and she misinterpreted a text I sent her to mean that I was going into labour (as if she'd be someone I'd tell!). Once she realised that she'd got it wrong, she decided I'd done it on purpose to trick her and said that she hoped that I had a 9lb baby (she meant, hence a painful labour - I'm only 5ft 2) as it would serve me right for getting her going .

Odd, as she'd always been quite kind and considerate. Ironically, she's been pestering to find out if the baby's come yet (I'm 41 +1), and it looks as though I will be having a large baby....

nancy what a bitch!

MSB I think I would have kicked my FIL in the head shin if he'd said something like that to me!
Are you having a boy?

A random woman turned to me at the corner shop in our village while I was minding my own business and said "you're going into labour on sunday, you are going to have a boy, and (here she started palpating my bump extensively, pressing here and there, feeling angles and bumpy bits) he's going to be huge, you'll probably tear badly."
I sort of just stood there .. as it stands, I'm still pregnant. don't know about the other points, but my fanjo is no concern of hers.

Ivy, she sounds like a relative of mine who was a self appointed psychic/mentalist. She would make predictions like that and ignored the fact that 99% were wrong, and focussed on the 1% she managed to get right. She went on for ages about how she had just "known" that i was having a girl with I was pg with dd1. Never mind that she also predicted girls for my 2 cousins and they had 3 boys between them! :o

She has probably told her friends how she "helped" you and has just had a feeling about it. :o

Ivy - I hope you smacked her in the face! What an awful thing to say! I hope her prediction is wrong and your fanjo is fine.

Sausage up the chimney - gross. Especially from relatives.

I saw a 'friend' over the weekend who said that he finds breastfeeding 'disgusting' and seeing it makes him feel uncomfortable. In the next breath he said 'I'll come and see you after the baby's born!' I told him that he can come and see the baby after it's weaned as I would feel 'disgusted' and 'uncomfortable' having him around while I'm breastfeeding. We didn't part on very good terms.

just bumped into an old friend in town....pushing pram with dd in (4mo) and he asks 'not again???' pointing at my post baby belly.... ive got three kids and thought i was doing well... obv not, back on the wii fit for me!!!!!

Just came back from holiday with my inlaws from South Africa. We waited until we saw them to tell them I'm pregnant as I'm 12 weeks now and it was unexpected.

Precious comments from my father in law: 'Every time I see you you're pregnant!' Erhm. We see them around twice a year, I have two daughters 9 and 5 years old so statistically this is so NOT true!!

Also he keeps on talking about the laaitie (boy) we're going to have to carry on his surname. To be honest I will be quite dissapointed if it was a boy...

I went to my hairdressers on Tuesday, my hairdresser was great (I'd told him earlier because I didn't know if colouring hair was ok). He wasn't prying and we had a brief chat about how I was keeping.

His assistant overheard and when she was washing my hair asked if I was expecting. I said yes and the first thing she asked was 'was it planned'. I know it was a throw away comment but it really hacked me off, the first person to ask me that . I replied that yes it was. She then went on to say that she'd never heard me talk about wanting children before (note I go about 4 times a year and have been going for 18 months). To that I replied well that's because it's private. Felt a bit mean but it just really wound me up (hot day and tired).

I spoke to my Mum about it in the evening and she said well now you're pregnant don't you know that apparently you are public property and any questions go...next time someone asks if it was planned just say you got wrecked and threw caution to the wind - I love my Mum!

Ivy cheeky moo - I don't think I would have been able to hold back!

I chaired a high powered board meeting today. I am 21 weeks pregnant. At the end of the meeting an out of town colleague announced to the entire board 'so, I hear that you're about to display a lack of commitment. What cover has been arranged?' not necessary!!! Then later on, 'so how long are you taking off?' to which I replied 'a year'. To which he responded 'and just popping back to pick up your pension?' surely there are laws against those kind of comments.

Another clueless colleague tried to convince me that as my cover is 0.4, my boss was trying to see if the job could be done in half the time. I politely reminded him thats what employment tribunals are for!

Another said, 'makes sure u use all your keep in touch day's.' like I'm gonna give a shit once I'm on leave!!!

people assuming that i want a girl (i have a son from a previous relationship and am expecting a boy any day now) why the hell would i want a girl i was nothing but a pain in the neck growing up as opposed to my brothers who were real mummy boys

hmmm - " are you sure there's only one in there?" - "oooh you look tired" - "of course, your body will never be the same again you know" - "god you're enormous!" - "go to the cinema now because you'll NEVER go again" (what, even when he's old enough to stay home alone? Idiots) - "should you be eating/drinking that?" - and on and on it goes.....!!

Oh the comments I have had from my 'friend' & even bf would have me running for a shotgun if I had one!
Bfs most recent one was when discussing the fact I will be having a c section. (this will be my 3rd) He told me I can't have an epidural coz he won't be pushing me around in a wheelchair.
Other classics include your not breastfeeding, there is no way you are getting my boobs out on the bus! Er I think you will find that they are my boobs!

'friend' is full of so much wisdom that I am now so off with her that she is leaving me alone.
xxx

I'm 29 weeks with fraternal twins. And I'm nearly 40. and no they dont run in the family. Sometimes feels like every person i meet is trying to ask me if I've had IVF! Raaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!!!
This video pretty much nails it - hilarious

Have had soooo many similar to others, but the one that really took the was the responses from some of DH's family when telling them I was pregnant. FIL: 'Oh, that'll be the tenth for us then. Christmas is getting more and more expensive!' - followed by a hasty congratulations when he saw the shock on my face. MIL reminds nearly everyone that this is her seventh grandchild and she hopes its a girl as we have 'too many boys' (said in front of her poor daughter who has 3 sons!). And worst was his aunt whose immediate response was 'this will be our nineteenth great niece or nephew, hope you're not expecting any more!'

All this with family knowing that hubby and I have had fertility issues and miscarriages. Grrrr.

Also, I work as a teacher and one of my parents thought it was appropriate to tell me about her brother's partner having died of a CS gone wrong, describing in horrific detail how she bled out over 14 hours whilst I stroked my 28 week huge bump for reassurance!!

So basically, if you see a pregnant person you should turn around and walk fast in the opposite direction because whatever you say it will be wrong.

london that video actually made me lol!! Xx

I also had a small bump and was constantly asked by my MIL if I was sure I was pregnant. (Since I didn't have any morning sickness or other signs, this made me pretty paranoid in case there really was nothing there!)

I am 32 weeks, older children born at 32 and 34 weeks and therefore very high risk anxious pregnancy, I have SPD and irritable uterus and have already spent 4 weeks basically unable to walk anywhere and terrified baby is about to be born very very early. Have been told I have a 30% chance of making it to 37 weeks. So if my neighbour tells me one more b**y time 'oh I bet you'll go overdue this time and end up being induced' I will punch her. I know she says this largely because that is what happened to her, but when she was pregnant I didn't say to her 'oh I bet you'll go into labour unexpectedly at 32 weeks, your baby will be rushed off to SCBU and you'll have major PND and PTSD'
Rant over, having a bad day today

It's more the prodding and feeling that gets to me.

When you are pregnant it seems you become completely public property and it is perfectly alright for everyone to rub/grab your tummy or even start prodding and poking it to see how the baby is lying. Grrr.

You would never do this under other circumstances, why is it ok when a women is pregnant?! And this is everyone, even complete strangers (old women are the worst for this, usually in supermarkets).

Oh and the "your not having a home birth are you?!" followed by the inevitable horror story of how they/someone close to them nearly died as a result. Very reassuring!

My current favourite (!) is when I said to a friend of a friend who was asking me if I'd bought anything yet - "I decided to order my pram in the sales because I realised if anything went wrong it wouldn't be cancelling the pram that would be upsetting" and he replied "well if it dies think of all the extra sleep you'll get!" oh bonus fingers crossed for that then.

and the woman taking my bloods yesterday who asked me if I had known I was pregnant because I don't have a bump and I'm 20 weeks. Yep known since 4 weeks thanks!

My best stupid comment was actually after I had DS and MIL came in to meet DS a few hours after a 4 day labour little sleep and bleed after delivery to say 'oh you look like you've done 12 rounds with Mike Tyson'

Both this pregnancy and last was full of people telling me horror stories of babies dying I am having complications this time so they are a bit more thoughtful with comments but still some horrible things why they feel the need to tell a worrying hormonal pregnant lady these things I don't know!
The name thing bothers me too haven't told anyone choices for names as last time when we proudly said our favourite choices for names everyone would give an opinion from someone they knew who was horrible with name to spouting all the potential variations of name DC could get bullied with!
I think pregnant women should get a 'free slap in the face' card for anyone that says stupid and inconsiderate things to them whilst they are growing a baby!

A comment i got yesterday - "youre filling out on your thighs aswell arent you." And after a few weeks before the same person said "i can tell your hormones are playing up youve got quite spotty". (This idiot is actually a person im a support worker for so i couldnt even tell her to f**k off).

Also my boyfriend said to me whilst i was getting changed- "your bum looks quite small now your belly is so big"

But the ultimate foot in mouth moment is when people tell horror stories of pregnancys/labour, ive just began walking away when i sense one coming!

At just 14+4, can't really say I've had many comments really. However - I am SO glad I read this thread. Am now well prepared for comebacks to all kinds of impertinent questions... (well meaning or otherwise...!)

And knowing me... the more inappropriate the response the better. My only concern will be trying to do it with a straight face ;)

Did have a dream the other night though, about being a few more months along and someone grabbed said bump and fondled it... so I grabbed his er.... "Packet" in the middle of the supermarket and said "Had a reduction have you?"

I love these dreams - they've really gone bonkers since being preggers!! :D

Of course this does always depend on the mood... sometimes I think the best way to completely confuse someone is to burst into floods of tears followed by manic laughter 5 seconds later.. ;)