you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

For me at 37+4 with DS3 it's random strangers who say, when I'm out and about with DSs, "oooh fingers crossed for a girl" and when I tell them it's a boy say "aah, never mind, better luck next time". In front of my DSs - nice.

Expecting to be overdue 3rd time round and the comments do get tedious but it can be funny - i went for a leg wax at 41+2 with DS1 and the girl waxing my legs looked terrified when I told her I was due last week, like I might deliver on the waxing couch or something...

wigglesrock at your post. My DH is supposed to be delighted he's almost got a 5-a-side team. As far as I know his feet haven't made contact with a football since PE lessons 25 years ago, god help him if any of them do turn into footie fanatics, he hasn't the first clue....

prolificwillybreeder that is quite possibly the best nickname ever, had me giggling almost as much as the posts on this thread

Kind of off topic, but wanted to share. Yesterday I was walking through the town centre when a guy in a small group of losers yelled "you've got big tits!" at me. (yes I know - original AND witty).

I slowly turned around to reveal my sizeable bump and give them a death stare and the laughter stopped. I hope they felt very small.

"Ooooh, not long now then" -this was yesterday so April. My bump is very noticable but not full term looking IMO. I'm due September! I'm pg with twins so I think I'll have to get used to this comment! I do feel like lying about my due date though.

Aw thank you minimuffin! So proud!
My lovely brother had a similar reaction as your waxing lady when I told him I was 39 weeks! He seemed to think as I was near my due date, the baby could fly out at any moment and didn't know what to do. He even asked if I should really go outside, in the car, to Sainsburys! Bless!

Oh and the other was "wouldn't it be good if the twins are boys as you have a girl - actually we think they're girls and we are delighted either way!"

Or - "wouldn't a boy and a girl be good - errr no, they're identical so that would be highly unlikely!"

when we announced my first pregnancy sil (who sounded like she could not be any less excited) said "I knew it anyway 'cause you put on loads of weight!!"
(we told them at 8 weeks, hardly time to put on "loads" of weight...)

I think the best random comment was at 8 months and despatched for an urgent scan as measuring several "weeks" too small by MW. All was fine. Next day random old lady turned to me in a cafe and said "Dear God Girl, you are massive, ready to drop twins??". My size 22 friend roared at her "You wouldn't bloody dare tell me I was a fat arse would you?". She then added the bit about medically bump was very small. Old woman scuttled off.......

oh the other one i get is 'dont you look tired'.

If only the stupid comments stopped post birth!

Will you have another one then? DS was under a week old at the time. Was thinking of being able to sit without wincing first!

Does he sleep through the night? Yes, he's two weeks old, EBF and he sleeps 7-7, what do you think?!

And from my mother, who had two kids, when DS was 5 wks, But why are you so tired?

Do people just think they have to say something so say the first thing that enters their tiny minds? How about, congratulations on your lovely baby, parenthood is so hard but I'm sure you will be fine. Can I help you in any way?

Some people just don't think - especially when they're dealing with a woman full of PG hormones on top of everything else.

I got "..... I don't see what exactly is so difficult???" from OH!!!! He was fed up of me having constant morning sickness and being "too tired to lift a finger". I actually was really, really upset and felt so alone when he said this.

On announcing we were PG I too got something along the lines of "Ooooooh we ALL thought u were looking like sh!te"... Thanks.

I actually asked OH to tell everyone our due date is 1 week later than it actually is a)to stop people doing the "So.... have u had that baby yet?" every single hour of every single day from about a week before the due date.
b)DS was 1 week overdue and people were really panicking me with various inappropriate but probably supposed to be helpful comments...

DrSeuss YES! If only one of the more regular comments was "Can I help in any way?" That would be amazing.

"Why are you so tired?" - yeh, I forgot about that old chestnut. MIL came round soon after we got home from hospital (I was sitting on ice packs with the amount of bruising and stitches) and muttered something about her son "running about like a blue-arse-fly" while I "just sat there". Needless to say she doesn't really like me that much. I am a lovely person IMHO....

Tamashii I wish we'd thought to do that with the due date. I'm just 37 weeks, and have already had 2 wall posts on facebook asking if any news yet! Grr!!

My friend was asked, "Did you have IVF" constantly when she was pregnant with twins.

Then she had the twins and was asked, "Are they identical then?". Um. No. One is a boy, one is a girl. "Yes, but are they identical?".

Agree with Tamshii - tell everyone your due date is at least a week after. I was 2 weeks overdue with DD and totally fed up with the daily calls. And that was in the days before FB and texting.

Am now 6 days overdue with DC2, wish I'd lied about EDD - although have been getting "any movements yet" comments, questions, FB posts etc since a good week before, so after 2 weeks of it and still no bloody sign, am ready to tear the head off the next person who dares speak to me {off to lock self in cupboard}

But last time, after 3 day induced labour, forceps delivery, episiotomy etc FIL commented (from MY armchair from whence he did not shift himself once settled) said "you seem to be moving very slowly, are you still in pain?"

Can't recall whether this was before or after my Step-Mum entered room and said "I'm so proud of your DH, he's just cleared away all the lunch stuff (which he'd made for his family of 5 who'd just descended on us) and is now washing up bottles" - I was non-plussed ish but still very very upset about not being able to BF. FIL said "what's he really doing?" - SM reinforced it and FIL responded "if it was being done the natural way, he wouldn't need to". If I hadn't still been so sore, I might have given more than the death stare.

Imagine how thrilled I was to learn later he wasn't having a dig at me not breastfeeding, but that the 'natural way' is for women to do the washing up!!!!!!!!!!

DrSeuss I completely agree with the stupid post-birth comment thing as well. MIL was very guilty of "feeding again?" and also "He's always asleep when I come round, he doesn't like me, how rude of him!" when DS was about 2 weeks old.

"have you tried really hot curry and sex?"

I had loads of "I thought you were putting on weight!" comments when we announced I was pregnant (did have a quite visible little bump from about 7 weeks and had to wear lots of big clothes..

Another one that pissed me off was "you won't have the time to faff about with slings with this baby the way you did with DC1". why not?

"it really annoys me when people don't find out what they are having, I want to buy you stuff!" it's called patience.

"I think it's a boy/girl because..........." and then listing millions of different reasons, all contradicting each other.

Oh the gender guesses drive me nuts, too (particularly when they've asked - do you have a preference? yes, I'd really like a girl - "I think it's definitely a boy because...!)

And the 'have you tried curry and sex?' -yes, stranger, I'm really about to tell you that...>!!!

Its not just as you near the end either, my best friends boyfriend informed me when we annouced impending parenthood that All pregnant women let themselves go. We are growing a person, forgive me if you no longer find me attrective, but I don't care what you think you misogonistic moron! Pregnancy rage kicked in early for me!

I'm now 40+2 and have switched off my mobile because every text is a reminder that I have not yet had the baby yet! I only answer the phone if I know it's DH. Facebook has been disconnected with this as my status "no baby, you will all be first to know as soon as I do, so please stop asking" ended with a smiley face so they don't all think I'm a complete grouch!

I've updated my FB with along the lines of "very grateful to all well wishers, not ignoring you but instead focussing all energy into not completely losing my mind".....but it's resulted in more people doing the "curry, sex?" type posts.

Another post baby one I will never forget is. Have you tried baby rice in the bottle? as I walked my 1week old baby down town and a complete stranger ran to catch up with me and asked me if he slept through the night.

The answer of Urm no I am breast feeding meant he swiftly started walking faster than me

Can't remember any pregnant ones but am 11weeks so I am sure they will come thick and fast soon. Got the 'was it planned' a lot with DS1 Which was more annoying because he wasn't!

Although I have been asked 'how many weeks are you?' 'oh is that it I thought you were more' with a quick glance at my belly which looked like I was 5 months pregnant before I was pregnant. Grr

I haven't had any annoying comments as such, just one annoying workmate (who is otherwise totally lovely).

He is 25, has no children, nieces or nephews, no friends who have given birth.

And yet, he gives me lots of "handy hints" for how to feel less sick, less tired etc. etc.

Whenever he asks how I am and I truthfully answer that I feel like crap due to throwing up 5 times a day (this was before) he sighs and says, "some people can't have children. You shouldn't complain. You'll be happy enough in 9 months time". To which I replied that DH is having a child but you don't see him throwing his guts up...and I know plenty of women who didn't throw up once during their pregnancy so why the hell shouldn't I moan?!

Also, when explaining to another workmate why I didn't tell anyone for 3 months (afraid of miscarriage) he tutted, shook his head and said "that's just negative thinking. Think positively and it won't happen"

I am now 39 weeks. At 7 months pg a bloke at work:

"Carrying twins?" me: "Nope, just the one". Him: "one what, pony!?"

I did laugh, actually.

My irrtating aunty who phoned on Sat. "How much weight have you put on then?" Me "Erm, two and a bit stone. Think i'm carrying it OK though...people have been very complimentary." Aunt: "Yeah, your cousin told me that you're looking OK. But your ar$e and thighs have got bigger."

I bit my tongue, but sort of wish that I'd replied and said that my ar$e and thighs are still smaller than her darling daughter.

Grrrr!

milla that made me laugh out loud!

MIL just said to me "you're walking like you're ready to drop"
I replied "no, I'm walking like I have severe SPD."
"oh, really?"
sigh.

At 36+5 I came home from a pretty hectic day (stripping wallpaper in new house we'd just got the keys for, followed by a baby shower - aka girls get drunk on my behalf), told DH that I wasn't feeling well at all and that I thought I needed to lie down for a while.

His response: Are you really not feeling well or are you just looking for some sympathy?

My response: nothing - until my waters broke half an hour later.

He has never been allowed forget it. (And I suspect he'll just take a vow of silence from about 35 weeks this time around...)