you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

ToriaPumpkinHead October is a GREAT time to have a baby!!! [busmile]
(yes, I'm due mid October [buwink] ) you will not need to feel guilty for not going out too much and missing out on the great weather when all you want to do is curl up in bed with a soft and cuddly baby (or without one) and then Spring will come just in time when little one is 6 months and starting to crawl and be more active :)

This is bringing it all back to me! In the last two or so weeks of pregnancy (EMCS at 41+1) I actively avoided seeing or calling even close friends as I was so fed up with the fact that no-one actually asked if I was okay, it was all: "Baby arrived yet?" I wanted to shout: "If you're actually my friend, then you'll find out pretty sharp-ish after she arrives. If not, you'll find out eventually. Either way, just stop asking!!!"
It was the random comments from supermarket cashiers that really drove me up the wall though. Oh, that and my PILs who came to visit for TWO MONTHS, arriving 2 weeks before the EDD. Good grief!
Anyway, DD is now four months old and totally worth it, but will really be sterner with people if there's a DC2 at some point. I did not appreciate feeling like public property.

Mine is just a funny one really and totally forgivable because the comment was made by a seven year old who is a twin and born by Caesarian.

'so you're pregnant then?'

'yes'

'so when are they going to cut it out of you?'

cue very awkward conversation about the possibiity of the baby coming out another way....

Ex went on business trip. Had 3 children aged 7, 6 and 11 weeks. He came home and moaned that he hadn't had a decent night's sleep for 7 nights. I riposted that as the baby was 11 weeks, I hadn't had a decent night's sleep for 77 nights.

We've tried for nearly 4 years to get pg. Lost count of the "when are the babies coming?" comments after me and DH got married- I finally got sick of it and rather than answering with something vague, started to say, "actually, we're having huge problems, are undergoing fertility treatment, and we don't know." cue uncomfortable silences, DH and SIL were always telling me offfor it, but they made me uncomfortable asking?!

Am now 23wks- and the "when is baby due?" questions have started. Mid August, I tell them. Next response:
Person 1: "you're tiny, are you eating?"
Person 2: "you're huge, you can't just eat anything you want when you're pg"
Repeat ad infinitum.
Well, which is it? Am I massive or not?! Or actually, is everything actually just fine and I'm measuring exactly to the day according to the doctors, midwives and specialists- of which profession these people do not belong!
Plenty more to come, I suspect... :)

I've had a lot of "you think you're tired now, wait until the baby arrives!" really? I thought they slept through the night from birth it's normally from people that ask if I'm tired too

My MIL telling me "it could be worse" when I was throwing up 5 times a day. Well, yes I know that, but a little sympathy wouldn't go amiss

Oooo so many. Obviously had 'was it planned?' (DS1 is 17 months old not a newborn ffs).

"Oh another boy, will you keep going until you get a girl?" this makes my blood boil. I always shout at people who say this no matter how well intentioned. There are plenty of people who would be grateful for one baby, regardless of sex, let alone two bouncing boys. Further it suggests I might consider Bump 2 to be a disappointment and therefore I feel aggrieved on behalf of the unborn!

"You're much smaller than last time." - Yes I looked like a whale last time. DO NOT REMIND ME!

"When are you due?" - "Next week" (38+5), "Don't go into labour now will you, I don't want to deliver a baby!" - I get this ALL the time and did with DS1 too, drove me bonkers. I always respond in the same way:

"If the baby did come, in my experience the whole thing is a lot less straightforward than a 5 minute heave ho and would expect to have time to get to hospital, where I could be looked after by doctors, who are infinitely more preferable than you when it comes to delivering babies."

Agggrrrrah

Ah yes, ToriaPumpkinHead, I've had those due-date comments too.

Them - Oh, end of November? That's not very well planned.

Me - Why not?

Them - It's right before Christmas.

Me - Yes, so?

Them - Well if you go overdue it may be a December baby.

Me - Again, so?

Them - Well... just another month may have been more convenient.

Me (thinking) Oh, sorry, shall I go back in time and conceive another time??

Beesok and Tallulah I am actually amazed at how many people think we planned an October baby, we just wanted a baby, when it happens to come along is entirely irrelevant. Just because people like my MIL were able to plan their pregnancies down to the week (and she chose to have both her boys in October!) doesn't mean the rest of us are that lucky! If I'd conceived first time the baby would be due in May. More "convenient" do you think? [buwink]

Yes Toria, I am a May baby myself and a couple of people have commented on how nice it must be to have a birthday in the middle of the year (more or less).

Well yes, now I think about it, I suppose it is. Not sure it bothers me that much to actually plan when to have my own children though [buwink]

Dad when I first told my parents - "well a lot can happen between now and then". ?????

A few colleagues - "you've had quite a good pregnancy really haven't you" - yes I suppose, if you take out vomiting 3 times a night until 20 weeks, nosebleeds everyday from 10 weeks, acid, pelvic pain etc etc.

'best friend' - " sorry I haven't taken any notice in your pregnancy but once you've been pregnant yourself, you're not really interested in anyone elses" - well I was wondering why my so-called 'best friends' haven't shown an interest at all, needless to say, she and another will not be on the list of most important people to contact when it's born!

I'm a May baby too Tallulah [bugrin] but yes, planning when my children were to be born wasn't on my agenda. What happens if you don't conceive when you plan to, do you wait until next year? [buconfused]

jesus, bowlingball - your "best friend" really is something!! [busad]
My best friends who had been pregnant were very interested in my pg, because it was me (but also because I had been one of the least maternal people going and they were watching closely to see how I'd go with it)

I had my DD is september and had everyone saying it was a good month to have a baby. [buconfused] It's a good job I didn't go a week overdue and have her in October if that's a bad month to have a baby! [buwink]

I had all the "you're huge" comments from about 4 months and so many people comparing me and my twin sister (who was due 6 days before me). I don't see how all the comparisons are helpful. They just made each of us feel upset about different things. [busad]

I was at work until the day I went into labour. I had all the customers asking when I was due and then saying "oh no you should be at home resting". I know they thought they were being nice and friendly but it just made me think how much I wanted to be at home.

It doesn't stop afterwards either. It's all "your baby wakes up 6 times in the night, well mine woke 7 times in the night", "you're feeling tired and finding it hard, well I had 3 so think how hard it was for me", "you're going to the park/shopping/to visit someone, well I didn't have time to do that"! Raaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! [buangry]

Toria and Tallulah we actually planned to conceive last year in september after a busy summer travelling and we did, sadly that pregnancy ended in a MMC so yeah plans don't always work out :) and who cares - it's still a really stupid comment, I mean what is the point of saying something when no one can change/control it and painting it in a negative way - there up and downs for every month I guess - I'm a july baby (completely unplanned!) And hated the fact that my birthday always fell on school holidays ! ;) hehehehe

My in laws (mil and aunt) where asking why I would want to find out the sex (I already have a boy and would love a girl) I probably used the wrong wording but said "if not a girl I'll have 20weeks to get over the disappointment" on reflection I should have said got used to idea if another boy
At which point they told me not to say that again how terrible etc, then went on to say about a friend of theirs who made it clear she wanted a girl and when baby girl came was severly disabled (whilst making face as though she deserved it)
And went on to say I should never say I want a girl in front of DS (who's not even 2 yet) as he'll know I don't love him
I replied that obviously I love him no child has ever been loved as much as mine etc.

Sorry about rant this was fairly recent and really upset me.

Husband - "get that baby out. you're overdue now, at this rate you won't get your homebirth, and this time it'll be your own fault."

What does he expect me to do?!

I hope you told husband to piss off! How on earth would it be your own fault?

Did he make any suggestions as to how you can actually "get that baby out"?!

Oh can I add a few from my partner.

"you cant haev fizzy juice. it has caffeine in it and will raise babys heartrate. Its bad for baby" whilst plying me with chocolate (the rich one high in caffeine!)

"calm down your blood pressure is going up. its mind over matter. Its your fault, you can control it" whenever im in a situation where Im getting het up.

Woman in shop "when are you better" Thanks Im not ill Im pregnant.

saiorse Were you not allowed to go on maternity leave any sooner then? How many weeks/days were you when you went into labour?

nappyaddict I was 39+4 when I finished/went into labour and had her on her due date.
I work for DP and PIL's and PIL's booked 3 holidays in the last month of my pregnancy and one of the 2 others who work for them was off that last week so I was forced encouraged to work until that day because my colleague was coming back the following day. I wonder if the relief of finishing work is what kicked it all off!

I am still pissed off with IL's for doing that to me. I had SPD, although not as bad as some people, and had to stand most of the day. It was hard work.

Silver lining - my mat leave doesn't start till she's 9 months. [busmile]

Also is it annoying if when people announce their pregnancy if people say oh i thought you were?

See my birthday was always surrounded by exams, so you just can't win! [bugrin]

36+5 with No.4. Fainting at regular intervals due to anaemia. Facing the prospect of a transfusion if HB not up past 9 in next 2 weeks and MIL's opening words: "just think not long and you can be nice and slim again for the summer!" Hi, how are you would have been nice or even better (but not a cat in hells chance) - can we do anything to help? aaaaaaaaaaaargh.

I had "how many are in there, 4?!" from a complete stranger yesterday, and instantly thought of this thread.

There is one, BTW. I'm 38 weeks.