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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

225 replies

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 17/04/2011 22:08

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Oobis · 20/04/2011 13:40

My favourite was when I met my dad for a walk down by the local canal. His greeting to me was 'there's a duck down there taking the piss out of your walk'!! Quite accurate really.

sdotg · 20/04/2011 13:42

The idiot woman on the tube who advised me to wear a 'baby on board' badge so she knew I needed a seat....I was 35 weeks and my bump kept knocking her book....

Only a few months after ds was born we were asked if we were having any more and continue to be asked, I take pleasure in telling the nosy parkers that ds is IVF to shut em up and yet they still suggest it will happen magically. Idiots

Insomnia11 · 20/04/2011 14:03

I loved being asked at the end of pregnancies "When are you due?" and being able to respond "Today!" or "Any time now really..." and seeing the shocked look on people's faces.

I went on maternity leave at about 34 weeks and a male colleague said "Oh I didn't know you were pregnant." Yes because my weight regularly fluctuates by four stone .

thumbbunny · 20/04/2011 14:07

I have two - not quite pg ones but near.
One happened to me - I had an early MC before I had even really registered with a new doc, hadn't even seen the bloke but had to give his name at the hospital. So, about a week afterwards, I went to see him to let him know who I was and so all the letters from the hospital could be reconciled with my file. He asked about my general health (fine), asked my age (42), asked if I had any other children (1 DS, aged 2 then) and THEN told me that, given my age and the fact that I already had one son I should probably not bother trying to get pg again. Fucker! I never saw him again, I would sooner wait a fortnight to see any other doctor in the practice than see him on the same day.

Other one has just happened to a friend of mine - gave birth 2 weeks ago, very rapid delivery (10 minutes stage 2 ) - anyway, she went to see her GP last week (also male) who said: "so, you've had the baby then - doesn't really look like it, does it, you're still pretty big; well you've got 4 weeks and then you'd better start doing some serious exercising to get back into shape"...
I mean, WTF? This was 9d after giving birth! She's still not entirely sure why she didn't lamp him one!

thumbbunny · 20/04/2011 14:09

oh I missed one, courtesy of my ever-loving and supportive DH:
after recent MC, he picked me up from the station, coming back from the hospital with my scans showing an undersized gestational sac under my arm - asked me how it had gone and said "so you were never really pg then?"
Not at all sure why I didn't just brain him there and then

peeriebear · 20/04/2011 14:35

Oobis that made me LOL :o
I had the "Do you know who the father is" with DD2. That would be my fiance of two years you soft tart!!
DH and I had a big chat the other night (when I was drunk!) about whether to TTC a third. We have no space and no money but he said if/when I wanted to, he was on board. So I might do this all again yet :o

RottenRow · 20/04/2011 14:52

This makes me feel much better as I was getting really self conscious as a couple of people have indicated their surprise that I am not due any day now.I am sixth months pg with second DC, yes I have got quite a bump but really it is not the bump of a woman about to give birth (and breathe).

cairnterrier · 20/04/2011 15:15

DS was due on 26th December and I lost count of the number of people who, when told my EDD, responded with 'Oh, what a shame". :(

Clarabumps · 20/04/2011 15:15

I was so crabby about this when i was pg. With ds1 i worked in a quite stylist clothes shop for skinny people and i was HUGE. I ended up with pre eclampsia and worked until two weeks before my due date.The visable shock was the worst when i told customers my due date.
One particular customer said" oh MY GOD-YOU'RE HUGE!!..i was really neat when i had my son smug face " I honestly wanted to punch her face in.
Another male friend of mine said when i met him randomly in the street "HOLY. FUCK. YOU. ARE. MASSIVE!!" cheers mate..i feel great now.
What totally shocked me what that people felt they had the right to comment on your body- big or small. I would never turn around to someone and say" jesus- you're ugly!" or "Your hair is an absolute riot" but because you are pregnant people feel that you are public property.
Lorraine Kelly did come into the shop once and with a lovely cheery face said.."oh what a beautiful baby bump!" she cheered me up!

Ivegotmrbitey · 20/04/2011 15:22

In Marks and Spencer on Sunday the woman at the till asked me how long I had to go. I beamed and said another fifteen weeks. She replied "Oh well love, I'm sure you'll stop growing soon. I wouldn't worry." When I got back in the car I came up with the perfect response that babies are supposed to grow, I'm not worried and in fact I think I look bloody lovely. Sadly it was far too late to go back!

My BIL when told of his impending uncle status at six weeks announced he would hold off on congratulations until twelve weeks because so many things can go wrong and he would be too upset. When I told he was being an insensitive idiot he rattled off a variety of statistics that no pregnant woman wants to hear. I'm still angry with him nearly twenty weeks later!

CloudsOfWitness · 20/04/2011 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict · 20/04/2011 15:27

If I comment on the size of someone's bump I do it in a complimentary way so oh that's a "nice small neat bump" or "that's a nice healthy big bump"

Is that offensive too?

RudeEnglishLady · 20/04/2011 15:29

DH named me 'The Bismarck' in my final month.

I am sure I wasn't that big.

ipswichwitch · 20/04/2011 15:32

oh and i also got "dont worry i'm sure your labour will be fine as you have nice child-bearing hips"...................
it's a flamin miracle i haven't chinned someone yet, n i'm only 10 wk gone.....

saffy85 · 20/04/2011 15:45

"You're pregnant?! I didn't know you were trying!" From my boss. I wasn't... but even if I was, I wouldn't share that information with anyone, let alone my boss

Everytime DP complains he's tired/achey/hasn't slept well. Join the fucking club.

I got a lot of "Was it planned?" too. How is that a polite question to ask anyone?

Everything that comes out my MIL's gob each time I've been pregnant. She has a natural flair it seems for pissing me off when I'm pregnant/have a newly aquired baby. DP says it isn't her fault. she "just doesn't think" well she's 65 and has had 2 children herself. It's about time she thought things through before she says them, surely. Bloody moron.

thumbbunny · 20/04/2011 15:51

ipswichwitch - apparently the childbearing hips is relevant only to carting children around after they're born - nice wide hips are good for babies to sit upon. NOTHING at all to do with giving birth to them!

Loobyloo1902 · 20/04/2011 15:59

I was told by a priest (I kid you not) that I had a fat face whilst 6 months preggers. People around him were visibly shocked.

And my Dad (who incidentally is also a vicar) took to calling me "the incubator" until I had to quietly threaten withdrawal of grandparents' access rights until he jacked it in.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 20/04/2011 16:13

Scruffyhound - have you tried sex and curry?

ipswichwitch · 20/04/2011 16:37

well thumbbunny, according to the immensely flattering comment i got, i've aparently got room for 4 kids on each hip then! i'm off to console meself with some chocs, which will no doubt add to the padding!! :)

Coconutmummy · 20/04/2011 16:48

My last day in work at 37 weeks, I told one if my clients I would be off for a while now, she looked at me and asked if I was going anywhere nice? I was so shocked. I told her I was 9 months pregnant and having baby the following week. She responded that she thought I had just put on weight.

I was waddling at the time . I don't usually show till 7 months, but she must have thought me very greedy going from a size 10 till 14 in less than 2 months :)

rebelwithoutababy · 20/04/2011 17:09

OMG this thread is hilarious (and quite worrying!!) haven't had any real clangers yet, but still to tell work (am 15 weeks and can't get an appointment to see boss!!) so plenty of opportunities there...also seeing ILs for first time since telling them at 12 weeks this weekend...will update if any occur (SIL likely to be good source!!)

NotJustKangaskhan · 20/04/2011 18:18

Both of my are from my husband's step-father.

In the first pregnancy, he kept talking about how much bigger my husband is than me (which is true, my husband is well over six foot and built like a wall, while I'm quite petite). Eventually, he said something to the tune that I was in for a world of hurt, because you just don't breed something so small with something so big. (He used to be a dog breeder).

In my current (4th) pregnancy, my husband called him up to tell him I was pregnancy. His response was "Why?".

WriterofDreams · 20/04/2011 18:19

One of my male friends developed a rather odd fascination with my pregnancy (he has no kids himself) and asked all manner of inappropriate questions. What pissed me off though was that he maintained that childbirth was a walk in the park and that I shouldn't worry at all about it. How the fuck did he know that?? When I mentioned I was afraid of tearing he swore black and blue that that was really rare and that it was a silly thing to worry about. Again where on earth was he getting this information?? In a very perverse way I was glad I had a small tear as I was able to tell him I needed stitches and his insistence that it was ridiculously rare was absolute bollocks. A lot of the time he was quite sweet though - he was really excited about me having a baby and was genuinely interested so I forgave his weirdness :)

My FIL took the biscuit though. When I was about 7 months pregnant I was at a little family gathering and I joked "I'm not as innocent as I look." Everyone laughed and I pretended to be shocked by the bump and said "Oh I suppose I don't look very innocent do I?" and bloody FIL who always has to take it a step too far said "Oh there was rumpy pumpy involved then was there?" WTF?? How is that an appropriate thing to say to your DIL? Everyone just went silent and I wanted to turn to dust.

I got the bump comments a lot but they didn't bother me too much. If I got the huge comments I just smiled and stuck the bump out - I liked being huge (up until the last couple of weeks when I could barely move!!)

NotjustaMummy · 20/04/2011 18:36

I've taken to just announcing that I was drunk and careless when people ask now. We weren't, but it's more fun that way.

I'm more peeved that no one has asked my hubby how he plans to combine fatherhood and work. I'll be out of a job in August, and everyone just seems to think that my being unemployed will just mean I'll stay home forever, rather than hopefully finding a new job. Grrr.

newatallthis · 20/04/2011 19:53

I've been amazed and horrified with how many people have asked me 'how old are you?' (with the tone of you're surely not old enough to be having a baby - and most often in business meetings / work related situations). I have a baby face but I'm a 30 year old married woman. I cant tell you how many people have asked me this. So rude!

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