you WHAT?! stupid/thoughtless comments

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

People really don't know when to stop talking when faced with a heavily pregnant woman..
I have severe SPD, making me pretty much immobile. DH went out for a runabout at the park with some mates today and came back saying "today I am aching more than you could possibly be hurting.."

Random woman I know: "I take it you haven't had the baby yet, then?" (I'm 39+3 and visibly pregnant)

MIL, on the phone: "I thought you were calling me to tell me that the baby has started" (only a couple of hours after I told her that we were going to keep things quiet and low key)

"any signs yet?/still preggers?/bump still here?/have you had the baby yet?" from about a million people every day, even after I reassured everyone repeatedly that I promise to let them know when I have given birth. When I I say that, I get "but you might be too busy to let me know". yes, then I would be too busy to reply to your constant stream of texts, too.

"are you sure you're due already, you're tiny!" after 3 months of "oh god, you're huge!"

and of course all the horror stories about labour and birth and having babies... no wonder I'm constantly pissed off and willing to kill someone at the moment...

/rant

Seriously dont panic til you have given birth and are enjoying the 4mth hurdle having fed (in either method) and feeling pleased with yourself for also losing the weight (and a bit more and getting in jeans you haven't seen hit a thigh since 2002) already til some dumba**e says "so have you had it yet? How did it go?"

Would a court convict if you battered them to death? I think NOT! I really might have just retained my cool in potential embarrassment had my pram not been to one side and bright frickin red!!!!

my DH sent MiL a text saying 4cm's. He didn't say what, she immediatley started telling all the family and friends that I am in labour. I had a phone call an hour later asking if there is any progress and how excited she is. I was soo confused and grumpy being 5 days overdue and had enough of dealing with these people. DH had to appologise as he meant the snow in our backgarden and thought she would understand as he's spent the last few weeks texting her his measurements. That was just before christmas, just so you know I'm not bonkers.

He sent the same text the next day, and I was 4cm's dilated. :) relief.

I think the worst was the advice on getting it out. I had SPD too and had cructches to help me get about a bit and someone suggested I go for a jog. I had the urge to whack him with one of my crutches.

I am never going to give advice to any expectant mothers on bringing on labour. Please hold me to that.

38 weeks and fed up. Get asked my some family 'are you having any more' coz apparently twin girls and another one on the way isnt enough. I have to have an even number!

Oh and shopping today and at least 2 people walking into my bump because they cant be bothered to look where they are going. Im not hard to miss!!!

Kellestar, I am trying to get the baby to engage so that the OBS will induce me in 2.5 weeks. I have SPD and am on crutches the odd time I can actually walk....and it has been suggested that I go on a long walk. This was from a GP friend of the family....

Our lives in their hands.... :o

Ive had all the comments about being 'neat' 'small' etc so much so that I was actually paranoid that I/baby wasnt growing. Them MIL asking "have you put on much weight?'....ofcourse I have & I dont care Im PREGNANT! AARRGH!! Im 36 weeks today & seem to have just grown over night from having a little bump to having a watermelon infront of me & do you know what I dont care what anyone else thinks I love my bump...big or small!

My poor friend was 38 weeks and went to the dentist. She was told that she had bleeding gums and should watch her oral hygiene etc. She said that she wondered if it had anything to do with the pregnancy and the dentist asked if she was pregnant and was gobsmacked when she said she was full term!

She was small during her PG but she said that she thought he might have noticed something It didnt give her much confidence in his ability to spot a tiny hole in her tooth if he couldnt spot a fully formed baby attached to her front :o

Slightly off topic but when I was TTC I had this classic from my Aunt:

"some people are just not meant to have babies, i mean, not every one can that's just life isn't it'.

I am so glad I moved 200 miles away.

I have been a nanny/nursery nurse for over 17 years and if one more person says to me 'wait til the baby comes' or 'you won't be able to do that when the baby comes' I'm going to scream at them 'I BLOODY KNOW' [buangry]

did anyone get are u still having u now what with your husband 30 weeks in..what can i possibly say 2 that???

All the well meaning, but thoughtless comments I can ignore - I have been told in both this pregnancy and with my DD that I am so HUGE I must be carrying twins/ triplets/ a cow etc! But I am only 5'3" and smallish build, so I am quite sure I am going to look big when I am carrying a 7.5lb baby, amniotic fluid, placenta etc!

The one comment that really riled me though was from MIL. MIL has a strained relationship with DH and I, mainly because she is incredibly toxic - in the past, she has said things to DH like 'I wish I had gone through the abortion when I was pregnant with you' . I was 35wk pregnant with DD and DH made a jokey comment about not firing 'blanks' to which my MIL said with a completely straight face 'Assuming the baby is yours of course...' I wanted to kill her kick her sorry arse out of my house, but was in agony with SPD, so it was left to my DH to deliver the killer blow which was 'Of course it is my child mum, don't judge my wife by your standards!' I could have kissed him at that point! After we had DD, she came to the hospital to see us and, when she saw our DD, she turned to DH and said 'See, she is a Greek and looks nothing like you!' That 'Greek' was her first fecking grandchild

She only lives 4miles away and, in the 3.8yrs of DD's life, she has seen her maybe 20 times and only then because we have made the effort - she literally drives past our house pretty much every day! Am currently 36wk pregnant with DC2 and DH and I have decided not to tell MIL when I go into labour or when we've had our baby - we will contact her, in our own good time, when we're out of hospital. I don't give a fuck care if this offends her - I am not having her ride roughshod over our feelings again.

I'm a hairdresser and today I told one of my clients that I'm 18 weeks. She was asking me about my dog, has she been spayed...because I dont want any more accidents!!! In normal circumstances, I would have told her how rude she is and my baby is no accident, but being in work I just had to bit my lip...but I'll be ringing in sick next time she is booked in- off with pregnancy related things!! Why do people think it's ok to say things like that?! Like we haven't got enough on our plates....

With both my pregnancies I have been asked if I am having twins when I say no they say are you sure.

I am 35 weeks and have bad SPD too, the doctor and midwife put me on pain killers and told me to rest up between now and the labour. I have had people say to me your only pregnant not ill and I use to carry 2 bags of coal up a flight of stairs when I were pregnant. I also get my DH reminding me he as arthritis in his knee when I ask him to help. I say I would be hapy to swap!

Really fed up atm.

"Was it planned?" from loads of people er, yes, I'm 40 and am married. This isn't by close friends either

Husband (been married fr 3 years) - being asked - "are you the father then?" by a friend's Mother!!! Cheeky b*tch

Telling a close friend we'd done IVF to be told "God, you never do things the easy way do you!?!?" F OFF!!!

A colleague at work saying - "look at you 40 years old and only now having your first child" - SO WHAT YOU COW!!!

Being told by another colleague - "I was just saying you'd got really fat and they told me you were pregnant" er... thank you?

All the is it a boy or a girl stuff - people telling me what I should have.

I have also been astounded at the number of people who want to tell you horror stories.

bunnyjo - WHY are you still bothering with the poisonous witch?! SHe can't possibly be adding any value to your lives, any of you, and she seems to just destroy the bits she does get to touch so why on earth are you still in contact with her at all??
Kudos to your DH for his quick response btw. [bugrin]

I had so many lame comments about the size of my bump when I was pregnant with my last.One woman said "Oh My God, you are F&^%ng HUGE!" I was about 7 months pregnant and seriously wanted to deck her. Actually I wanted to comment on her HUGE* thighs, but thought I wouldn't stoop to her level.

When I left work to go on maternity leave I told everyone how much I wouldn't miss there sizest comments. I was so sick of being told how huge I was. It was so upsetting. I would never do that to a pregnant woman, no matter how large her belly was.

But the comment I really love to hate was the one from a male friend (whom, funnily enough, we don't see much anymore), which was said to me when my DS was about 18 months old, was, "You seemed to have recovered then", My answer"What do mean?" "Oh, you don't look as haggered. Since you had the baby you always look so tired". I was dumbstruck - couldn't think of anything to say, so said,"Must go, shopping to do..." What a prick!

Oh - and MIL's comment when she visited us at the hospital the day after our DS1 was born - looking at my belly - "I wore my pre-pregnancy pants home from the hospital you know. I always had wonderful stomach muscles". No one actually asked, but she felt we should know...

bunnyjo - what an awful MIL. I don't think I'd let her know at all.I'd wait til she contacted me and then add. "by the way, we had the baby three months ago..."

I think its the curse of pregnancy, thoughtless tactless comments
when I was prego my mate would constantly say, 'god. you're huge!'

thankooo...

my mum had a bad one , she put one 3 +stone with me and bless her she was huge. in a midwifes waiting room another woman pointed to my mum and said 'I don't wanna be as big as her'
[bushock] nasty bitch

I opened the door to my SIL yesterday who hadn't seen me for 3 weeks, and instead of Hello I got Oh My God, your'er MASSIVE, HUMANGOUS, HUUUUGE!!
Thanks, dear. I'm still smaller at 40+3 than you are, and you are not even pregnant.

I had a scare at 16 weeks, bleeding for a week and no one could tell me why. My doctor signed me off work and advised plenty of rest- cue DH pointing out that if it was a period I'd go to work, so why was this different? He lived through that comment, but only just!

Also, a colleague introduced me to someone at work by saying 'don't worry, she's not just fat, she got herself knocked up!'. The mind boggles.

I love it when obese/fat/not-model-looking people make comments on how huge a heavily pregnant woman is? I would just ask "what's your excuse?" ;) actually can't wait to say that to a few people as my bump grows......

And to all those nasty MILs - hit the ignore button ladies and just blank them out, it's the best "punishment" for such selfish attention-seekers! ;)

Man, I'm a real bitch today [bugrin]

MIL are the worst even when your not pregnant im always on the recieving end of some comment,

just a minute ago, out of nowhere...you've got massive fingers you havent you? err thankyou....

I think they start practising during pregnancy

PS Just wanted to add that I have nothing against MILs ;) mine is actually very very sweet so I am lucky but I'm shocked by some of the comments above! It must be really hard to deal with that sort of aggression from close family :(

I'm 8 weeks and told my parents today! My mother asked me how big it would be and when I told her the response I got was:
"Oh, I've seen pictures of abortions on the internet and they don't even look human".
Um, thanks Mum... I think the word people usually use is 'Congratulations'. She then proceeded to look up on the internet alternative words for 'Grandma' because there's no way she's being called that! I got a hug 20 minutes later when she'd decided on being referred to as 'Nanoo'.
Is it wrong to teach your child to call their grandmother 'bitch'?! lmao!!

I love "was it planned?", my first was not planned but i had always wanted to be a mummy and we were thinking of trying, but i once made the mistake of answering the was it planned? question with no

To which i got sympathetic look and the immortal words, oh are you happy?. i'm sorry WTF sort of question is that? "No actually i'm completely devestated but ta for asking, seriously :o

oh and when my manager at worked poked my bump at 7 months gone and repeatedly said fatty, that was fun

at 40+ 16 (yes i was 16 days late).... i had a text every ten minutes.
any news yet, is baby here yet, have you had it yet???
in the end i turned my phone of and let dp deal with it, asif being 16 days late wasn't bad enough...i was impatient let alone everyone else. ds1+2 called me 'waddly' in the last few weeks thanks to a friend! and dp called me fatty