Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 5...

[SamanthaB123]

Our new thread to take us through the Chrisnas season. Pull up a chair, grab a mince pie and join us for support in pregnancy post miscarriage. All welcome!

Hi everyone, I don't want to exclude anyone, whenever there is news here, people seem to pop in from everywhere and that is how it should be. It is also good to hear from the Grads and how they are getting on. Louise it is also good to get the updates from you, from a personal perspective if you look through my posts there are several where I have referred to you and hoped that you are ok since Georgie's birth.

I was just worried that your post around the thread modification was getting angry, and I have never met anyone who has deliberately tried to cause hurt on the thread. I didn't want there to be a bad atmosphere, or people to feel like they are treading on eggshells.

I was just asking about the loss threads and post-natal threads as I was unsure of what other MN support is available once people progress from the pregnancy stage in good or bad situations, perhaps I should have been clearer.

Your loss is tremendous, and from what you have said, is so far beyond the experience of MC. There are probably not very many of us that would understand the feelings, and I wanted to know if there were places that you could talk about. I remember you saying that some of the loss threads were a lot more quiet.

As I said, I was prepared to get flamed, but given the fact that there are new joiners all the time. We will all move further up and away from the thread in due course. I know that we have fantastic conception and pregnancy threads, and thought it would be a good idea to check if there are solid supportive threads for others as they move forwards.

No offense meant to anyone and I'm very sorry should I have caused any upset as none was intended.

Hi Ladies,
Well congrats buffy on baby James - wonderful news. I don't know what the "other thread" is though and would love to read your story if someone could direct me there.
Speaking of, I think a new thread for graduates is a great idea - of course with it being ok for anyone to pop in as needed on either/any.
louise feel terrible for you still and am not offended by your posts here. This was a place for comfort after my miscarriage, so I can only imagine that you need it more than I did with your stillbirth experience. Hoping that you find some comfort here during all this sadness.
Well happy, how are you feeling? Ready to go any time now? I've just started thinking of ways to get this baby to consider moving out. She seems quite content so I'm thinking she may come late. I've been talking with her a lot about how happy we'd be if she came on time or early. Also eating popcorn and pineapple and taking long walks. And bouncing a bit on my birth/exercise ball. C'mon little girl - can't wait to see you!
Well, hope all are doing well. Take care!

Bunny - I had assumed that I was welcome here as a post grad. I feel awful that I have been posting where I wasn't wanted, quite embarrassed really. Although there is a long list of ladies who have had their babies there are very few who post regularly so at this time the new thread will be fairly quiet.

I hope that you all have uneventful pregnancies and labours and I guess I'll see you when you move to the post grad thread. I have loved being here for the past ten months, you have all been so supportive, SB x

You ARE welcome here! You ARE! Having a postgrad thread is just another lovely extension, not a never come back. Don't you dare completely leave. A postgrad thread will be helpful if there are things to discuss about having babies that might be a bit full on for nervous pregnant ladies to hear. But you can come here.

My t'other thread has a version in conception, antenatal and postnatal. We flit between them, but it means everyone has their own place to have a little moan with people at their own stage. There'll be first birthdays on the postnatal one soon enough, it's lovely that everyone sticks around.

SamB did you see my message sent at 11pm, I know you posted at 4am after this.

I have to say I hope Samb does post here regularly. Updating the list isn't easy (I got confused when I ds it because I tried to update an old list, not the latest one) and her posts help to keep this thread going.

Am in the third trimester and find Samb's posts are helping me to imagine what motherhood might be like and it's very welcome as I panic about whether this baby will make it and whether I'll cope with motherhood.

We all need to assume the best of each other. Everybody on this thread is here because they have lost a baby. Everybody has suffered. None of us would ever intentionally hurt one another.

Just to add my bit, agree this is getting to be a huge thread but part of its charm is that we range from scary bfps to those holding their babies and posts from those who have been here but sadly lost their babies, at whatever stage. I see it as a group of virtual friends and it's good to see everyone...
I still pop back to one of my TTC threads, I'd miss the women there if I was only able to lurk.

I completely understand worries being exacerbated whilst pg, hormones raging and all that, but sadly we're slightly more risky than the average group of pregnant women by virtue of our history of MC and we're here to both celebrate together and support each other...

On that note, Gilda, you mentioned the December thread, I have a sinking feeling that the poor girl there was on this thread our first trimester and has since namechanged, though I'm not completely sure (have been occasionally following Dec thread but not so much recently). Sorry if that brings anyone down, but if she is J....O (don't want to publish her namechange) I'd like to leave a message of support on her thread. Does anyone know?

Now, as I keep saying to all you lovely ladies in the first trimester, the best we can all do for our babies is keep calm, carry on and assume the best (knowing we have some support here should we need it... And cheers and pom poms for the good stuff too!!! Sometimes seems a bit wrong cheering some whilst feeling really sad with others, but we need to celebrate the good stuff too!).

However, it's true the thread is huge! Can I pop in early to postnatal to keep up with those there too? Please?

Oh, and if Sam moves, how are we going to keep the list up to date??!

Thanks octavia . Xx

Hello ladies,

Hope all is well. I have to say that I really appreciate being on this thread and hearing from different people who are different stages in their preganancy as well as those new moms!

So a bit of a vent and quick question to all, especially those who have a lot more experience that I. I was told to wait until 7 weeks for my first scan (which is coming up this Friday). Then I saw the GP a few days ago, who was so unprofessional and condescending, but that's another story! Anyhow, she said that 7 week scan would be a waste of time and to wait to 8 weeks at least. Problem is my husband is traveling when I am 8 weeks and soon thereafter we are off for Christmas. So I want to keep my 7 week private scan but worried that am being too impatient again and will end up with a too early and inconclusive scan, and perhaps I should wait to 8 weeks even though that doesn't work very well with our schedule.
What do you gals think?

Hi purple, the later you leave it the better your odds become of all remaining fine if you see a heartbeat. Also if your dates are off even by a few days (ie if you ovulated late) you may not see a heartbeat at 7 weeks but all could still be well.
Really it's entirely up to you, and I don't like to worry you unduly but for a lot of chromosomal abnormalities they don't make it much beyond 8 wks, therefore you can have a good 7 wk scan and then it all goes wrong (happened to me with MMC, all ok at 7 weeks, didn't know it had gone wrong soon after for another month).
I went for 8, 10 and 12 with this pg.
But we're all different, if your loss was earlier last time then the 7 week mark may take you past your sad milestone and be good reassurance in time for Christmas. It's all so personal.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

Hi all, just popped into say hi and CONGRATS to unbuffy!

I'm saddened to see the discussions in the past couple of days..

I've been on all of the threads right back to the first one, I've lost two babies and witnessed others go through the same, I've welcomed a healthy baby and I've mourned along with others Louise's loss of little Georgie.

On these threads everything has been discussed from annoying husbands and partners, inlaws, weddings, weight, children, work, holidays.. I could go on.. and so as one of the "originals" as it were, I feel that these threads should not operate as neat tickboxes as they are about life. Life, as frightening, sad, scary wonderful, optimistic and amazing as it can be.

Please don't anyone feel as though they are not welcome..

On an upnote, meita has finally arranged our postgrads thread which has been long discussed.. hopefully see some of you there as well as here!

I'm off to make another hot water bottle it's minus 4 here!

Many congrats Unbuffy on the arrival of James.

Scan tomorrow so will let you all know if it's blue or pink!

Morning All

On threads, I think it's good to have a postnatal thread too, definitely as a complementary thread, not an alternative. Though perhaps it hasn't come about in the most comfortable way, and I hope everyone is feeling ok about it.

For me as duffers but with labour being the next thing on the list it's useful (and inspiring) to have the advice of those who have just been through it. Also lovely to hear about the babies, helping me acknowledge that there's actually a baby at the end of all this, rather than just focussing on getting, staying and dealing with being anxiously preggers.

And then there's the fact that life isn't just about dufferism and I genuinely value the 'friendship' I find here which is totally irrespective of the state of you lot's uterusses! (or should that be uterii)?

I value our eclectic mix of posters but I can also see that over time it might get a teensy bit unmanageable. I find it hard to name-check as it is - imagine if there were 200 of us - or more!!!

Oh my god you can tell I'm a bloody libran can't you. Did I actually have an opinion there or was that just a major on-the-fence waffle? All in all, I like hearing from everybody, but am also happy that there is an extra place to chat too.

Alba yes it is sadly the same lady . Well wishes (thread is flipped to latest posts) here

PurpleH I had my early scan I think at 9ish weeks (which was lovely and clear) so can't advise on 7 weeks. From all I've heard here though it does seem to be the longer you can manage to wait the clearer scans will be. Can you bear to give it that one extra week or squeeze it in between your partner coming back and Christmas?

Big wave at lovely Jolls

Welcomes to Mousebacon great name - the mind boggles as to how that came about? Or is it from the latest farrow & ball collection?

Zayja Buffy's birth thread UnBuffy (no longer Upduffy!) here

Zayja, Happy, Malteser, Luckybear and duedatemateBunny - how are you guys feeling? In the last two days I'm getting more pressure on (I assume) my pelvic bone. Gets a bit achy walking now and I feel considerably heavier in the undercarriage department. Absolutely no twinges though so expect I will just be waddling for the next few weeks. Anyone else got anything odd going on?

SamB let us know how you get on with the kari me - any tips greatly appreciated, I was trying to demonstrate my mobi in front of my very sceptical parents and dropped the cushion-baby I was trying to wrap up. Needless to say they were not impressed!

Monday?s List:

HappyGirl - baby#1 39+5 wks EDD 8th December
Zayja - baby#1 39+2 wks EDD 11th December
Goodluckbear - baby#1 38+2 wks EDD 18th December
Malteser1981 - baby#1 38+2 wks EDD 18th December
Gilda - baby#1 37+2 wks EDD 25th December
BunnyBaby - baby#3 37+2 wks EDD 25th December
sparklyrainbow - baby#1 36+4 wks EDD 30th December
AlbaDeTamble - baby#2 (1DS, 3yrs) 36 wks EDD 3rd January
toomuchteaching - baby#1 35+5 wks EDD 5th January
Redheadgal - baby#1 35+3 wks EDD 6th January
WestYorkshireGirl - baby#1 34 wks EDD 18th January
Dorcas111 - baby#1 32+3 wks EDD 28th January
Ba8y1 - baby#1 31+3 wks EDD 4th February
Clareanna - baby#2 (1DS) 30+3 wks ADD 3rd Feb
Lotta123 - baby#? 30+3 wks EDD 10th Feb
Muser - baby#1 28+1 wks EDD 27th Feb
Northerngoldilocks - baby#1 25+3 wks EDD 18 March
Magic8ballhastheanswers - babies#3&4 24+6 wks EDD 20th March
Lia - baby#6 24+5 wks EDD 23rd March
Hopefully - baby#2 23+3 wks EDD 2nd April
stuffedmk - baby#2 23+1 wks EDD 4th April
Osch - Baby#3 22+1 wks EDD 10th April
Ivysedai - baby#2 20+4 wks EDD 21st April
PenguinsMummy - baby#3 20+4 wks EDD 21st April
VivClicquot - baby#1 18+5 wks EDD 4th May
Loopymumsy - baby#4 18+4 wks EDD 5th May
Tigerbear - baby#1 17 wks EDD 14th May
Caribou - baby #2 (DD, 3yrs) 16+5 wks EDD 18th May. Next scan 5th Jan
appleblossoms - baby#2 13+2 wks EDD 11th June
crochetcircle - baby#? 13+1 EDD 11th June
Wobblewatcher - baby#2 10+6 wks EDD 27th June
Inbetweener - baby#3 8+1 wks EDD 17th July

emmywoo- about 7 weeks
Purplehibiscus - nearly 6 weeks
Nicksters mum (in Chrissy cossy)

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz

In our thoughts and prayers:
Louise with daughter Georgie born asleep on 10th October

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster, Cheepz, Freezing, BarrenBrook, MsJL, LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle and Waterplate.

I've taken digging off the list since she hasn't posted on grads since July. Diggers - if you're out there - give us a big wave!!

One of the things I always like about mumsnet is that you can float opinions and listen to others views. I understand that my post was contentious and I did not intend to cause offence. My 2nd post was an apology, but it is also clear to me Since that post, that others are still upset. I am sorry.

It was not my intention to cause a row, and I perhaps rather too naively thought there may be a good opportunity to open new threads. I completely agree with those who have posted that there is no black or White line for when people drop in and out. Hearing other people's opinions is useful.

Mumsnet is generally for all opinions, and usually people are welcomed if they change their stance based on others views. In my case everyone's opinions made me realise how narrow that post was.

I only stumbled on this thread at 16 weeks as did not realise there was a post-TTC thread, so was genuinely unsure what other threads exist.

The most important thing is I am sorry, and hope attention can divert back to normal thread activities.

I'm too hormonal to cope with worrying if I've said the wrong thing, yes please let's get back to usual.

I actually sobbed in the carpark at Sainsburritos this morning as some bugger had twisted the last trolley in the trolley park so it was stuck between railings and I couldn't turn it backwards to link mine to it and get my quid back, then I went to the next park and same thing. It was bloody freezing and I didn't have gloves. All got a bit much. I swore like a sailor, rattled (ahem, violently yanked) the chains, then burst into tears. Then had to walk all the way back through the carpark snuffling and red eyed to get to a third station to finally park the trolley.

Bunny tell me about your undercarriage! How are you doing? I think you said you thought you would be late rather than early, any advance on that?

I don't want to get involved in stuff that's been going on until we're back to 'normal' - sorry guys, too much else going on.

Suffice to say I started me 'birth thread' so as not to panic pregnant/getting close ladies so you could choose to read or not, depending on personal preference. I too was terrified by (although very interested in) birth stories, especially around the 2nd trimester period, so...

I will still be reading and keeping close by. And I've got MY pompoms at the ready now - GO GO GO

Love to all

Buffy I remember how much of a blur the first few days are, and how amazing the little person is. Enjoy, they get stronger each day, and are constantly changing and doing new things.

Gilda due date buddy! I was a whopping 17 days over with DS1, but he was breech until 36/7 weeks and then turned posterior. This time baby has been head down since 32 weeks. I have had tightenings like period pains every night since Friday night. My appetite is diminished and I feel nauseous when hungry, and very, very tired. When I saw my lovely Osteopath today, he said that he thought that things were beginning to get ready and warm up. I am pleased that this is beginning now, as I only got these type of things at 11 days overdue with DS1. Although I am well aware that these things can go on for weeks, and the only reason I'm experiencing them now is due to the fact that this is DC2. Also a good friend of mine was 14 days over with DC2 and didn't have a twinge. Went in to be induced, was never even examined when waters went pop, and baby came out within 20 mins. The night before her cervix was apparently completely closed, so all the 'activity' may amount to something or nothing. It would appear the babies dictate their own timing. I am having problems rolling over in bed and pelvis cracks (ouch)

LittleMiss1972 hello and welcome, I remember you on the TTC thread, also hello to Mouse.

Happy all eyes are on you now, hopefully you're enjoying the last few days.

Moo I have an anterior placenta too, it means I have missed movements and worried from time to time, but can still sleep on my back without feeling like I am suffocating.

purple I found these stats really helpful
when thinking about early scans.

First baby we saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks but had a mmc and found out about it when I started bleeding at 9.5 weeks.

Am a big fan of early scans but also wish I'd known the stats with my first.

With this baby I'm at 30 weeks and we had scans at 6 (due to fear it was ectopic but the pain I was in was just gas), 8 weeks (as they weren't sure whether they'd
seen a heartbeat at 6), 10 weeks private, 12 weeks, 20 weeks and then 24 weeks private to find out the gender.

We struggled to get our early ones on the NHS. Watford refused our GP's request but some EPUs will see you with a self-referral if you've already had
a miscarriage. Roehampton saw me the next day and did our 6 and 8 week scans. They were so helpful. Nurse spent ten mins trying to think of foods and drink that I could try that might relieve my high level of
gas. They were so caring.

Good luck with making your decision.

p.s. Purple have you thought about changing GPs?

Mine was awful with my first pregnancy. Had vertigo, lots of vomitting and bleeding and basically
given a speech about miscarriage that made
me cry and told to deal with the other two symptoms. Oh and when I had bleeding he said he'd examine me, poured coffee down himself and forgot. I rang up
when I got home and he gave me a speech about why he didn't need to examine me. All rather confusing.

Changed doctor when I got pregnant again and they have been fab. Apologetic when hospital wouldn't scan, worked out the vertigo is labyrinthitis, realised I had hyperemesis and signed me off work for a month as I wasn't keen on taking the medication, got me physio for SPD and told me to come in whenever I'm worried.

Having good medical support really helps when you're pregnant after a miscarriage. I found my nice doctor through a friend where I live.

Hello , I think this has been a really unfortunate episode and it would be better to draw a line under it. I feel quite uncomfortable and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who feels a bit sore. I think that we should resume normal service and go back to what we do best - supporting each other and offering unconditional friendship.

I hope that everyone is able to keep nice and warm in this weather, Sx

Just back from having a filling redone, no anaesthetic and worried sounding dentist hoping he wasn't hurting... I was chilled out practising hypno stuff I've been doing and nearly fell asleep (and usually I hate dentists! ).... So, it seems despite being super cheesy it really does seem to work! I feel like I've been to a spa not for 45 mins in a dentists chair!! It's certainly boosted my confidence levels for using it for full on labour

Hello again ladies... it has been a while since I have kept up to date or posted.... yes quite a long while in fact and an awful lot seems to have happened - I haven't read all of the old thread (part 4) but will try and keep up better with this one, but please don't hold me to the name checking straight away! Have not been hugely enjoying the pg part to be honest, which explains my limited contact - not sure if its the fear that is inherently there post a previous mc, or the horrid nausea, tiredness and now crippling spd - think its prob a combination of both, but today is the due date for my previous pg and I felt the need to touch base with this lovely thread again.

Firstly louise I am so very sorry to hear about Georgie, you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you have had lots of support in RL and on here. I can't imagine how you begin to cope with something so horribly unfair and I hope that this Christmas and New Year bring you some comfort and hope for the future xx

I'm sorry to hear there are others who have been through the mc hell again - LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle and Waterplate since I was last on the thread - I hope you will all be back to join us soon.

Huge congratulations to all the new mums and babies, so exciting - and congrats to the newbies on this thread! Can't believe there are less people above me in the list than below - its all beginning to feel a little more real now - was in some sort of denial/dreamworld for most of the second trimester, but we had a 4D scan on sat which was just incredible. Slightly concerned that they guestimated 4lbs 9oz already - is that not a bit enormous for only nearly 32 wks?! Beginning to get slightly nervous about the birth right about now, and was so convinced it would be a lovely pain-free hypnobirthing experience!

Am now off work (evil spd) so will try and keep track more.

Hope everyone is enjoying the snow! (In central london so we had a light dusting, which was very pretty, but not particularly troublesome, snow magic still intact!!) Sending thoughts of warm hot chocolate (or mulled wine?! I wish) to those of you who have been snowed in!

xx

Alba - I missed your post as was constructing my (for me anyway) essay - you have given me fresh hope re the hypnobirthing! Hope the tooths ok!