Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 5...

[SamanthaB123]

Our new thread to take us through the Chrisnas season. Pull up a chair, grab a mince pie and join us for support in pregnancy post miscarriage. All welcome!

Woooooooooo Buffybaby is here!!!!!!!!! Congratulations Unbuffy !!!!! Much love to you all xxxxxxxxxxx

Congratulations Unbuffy, wonderful news.

Big hugs to waterplate, thinking of you.

Now it seems that I might be in trouble...haven't posted for a few days and during that time we have new people joining the thread, babies arriving and lots of questions to try to answer. It's always difficult name checking on my phone but with this much to deal with?! I see how I go through the night feeds!

First up...Buffy - congratulations on the birth of your son! You should feel free to post your story here, it's the culmination of all the months on the thread and we all love a good birth story! I'm sure everyone is level headed enough to take it for what it is. I hope James continues to feed and sleep so beautifully! You must keep posting and not disappear. Once this current glut of babies arrives we should think about a 'grads grads' thread to prevent this one becoming too large...

Penguins welcome back - it's been busy here hasn't it? Good luck with your scan, what is your gut feeling? Girl or boy? hope you enjoyed your break away.

Now, I need to look at the previous page so will post the message so far and will continue with the next feed.

Morning all! Will try to go back to sleep but quick post till the next sleep train passes through the station....

Buffs so immensely proud of you, sounds like quite a marathon [sympathetic hug]. Hope you've had a good night. And welcome again to James. I bet he is absolutely gorgeous!

SamB how's Ruby, did she have a cold?

Water I'm so sorry it looks like bad news. Hope you find some answers and hope to see you back here real soon. I think there may be one or two more ladies on the list that got pg straight after mc. I was cycle 1. Huffs at six months - absolutely ignore that. Definitely latest advice was that there is no need to wait, though having a cycle will helps docs date next pg, and gives you a bit of time to recover mentally and physically - rare meat, pate, soft cheese and wine diet recommended of course

Congratulations on the birth of baby James unbuffy

Oh yay, unbuffy!

Massive congratulations, lovely. Hope you're getting lots of rest and lots of cuddles with your boy. xxx

Water so sorry to hear your news - as others have said there are lots of lovely threads that will be a big support to you - I hope we hear from you son. take care of yourself and get lots of TLC x

mouse and nix all sounds good - sheer utter fear is perfectly normal emotion - I was a mess for the first 12 weeks - we'll be here to help keep you (a little bit) sane. mouse my GP booked me in for a reassurance scan at 9 weeks as a matter of course, I also had one at 6 weeks after a bleed. They were really nerve wracking, particularly having to return to the EPU again.... but they gave me some peace of mind.

UNBUFFY!!!! WEll DONE YOU!!!! WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY JAMES!! soo delighted for you - I echo moo we were all at around the same stage back in Jan I'm so so thrilled for you.
Off to read up on what happened, but just glad you're safe and sound x

penguin welcome back - I will put my mystic meg hat on and say.... boy!

mouse I waited until after 8 weeks this time, having seen both babies we lost at 7 weeks with heartbeats but small for dates. I figured 8 weeks was a better idea and tried to put it out of my mind until then. Easier said than done!

I'm spending the day doing chores (joy) while DD & DH are out playing in the snow. We have a top temperature of -4 here today!

Ooooh congratulations unbuffy... hooray for the safe arrival of baby James, so pleased for you. Good luck over the next few days and enjoy the cuddles!

Sorry to hear your sad news water, look after yourself and get plenty of support in RL.

Welcome to all new people, I love this thread and its whole start to end vibe, someone's always been there to answer the questions. And welcome back penguins and to clare... to be honest I think the comments about sun loungers when we're all in minus numbers need to stop .

News from here is that I've done a baby clothes wash... feels a bit weird but figured I couldn't keep putting it off. We also bought the "travel system" and all I can say is bloody hell.

Sorry you've been down Gi1da, horrible news, I'm feeling similar about going to our NCT class this week, I just know everyone will be so sad. I can't imagine anything so awful.

Am off to read unbuff's other thread... have a lovely (cold) day all.

Yay Congrats Unbuffy lovely name! Hope your getting plenty of rest and lots of cuddles. x

Had my booking in appointment yesterday, all went well however she didn't listen for a heartbeat which was a bit of a disappointment.

The good news is when we arrived home my scan appointment had come in the post! Next week Thursday not too long to wait thankfully and the day after the Christmas Doo at work. All very exciting!

Hope your all keeping well and having a lovely weekend, love to all x

Hi everyone! I meant to post more last night and promptly fell asleep with each feed after the one where I orignially posted. I don't want to be a mememememe poster but am finding it really hard to keep up!

Sparkly I have never had growth issues with my pregnancies, the girls have always been the expected size and my scans have actually been quite accurate. I have read loads of stories though of wildly inaccurate scan sizes so I wouldn?t worry just yet. I was really pissed off at the end too, I was just so big. In each of my pregnancies I have delivered when I have reached 11½ stone, that seems to be my trigger rather than anything else! It?s not that great considering that I started out at 9 stone this time . In fact with my first pregnancy I started out at 7 ½ stone and put on a mammoth four stone. Wow. I never really lost it all and have only ever been as low as 8 stone since. Not now though... I?ve gone off on a tangent...chin up, it won?t be long and believe it or not within a few weeks you?ll be missing your pregnant body and wondering if you might like to think about another baby!

Magic I absolutely get you being so fed up inside in all the snow. I have been at home with DH and three children since last Tuesday morning. Ooof. Yesterday we did make it to the supermarket ? out of sheer desperation as food was a bit of an issue. Until then we were utterly snowed in. We had about half a metre of snow we think and could barely open the doors to the outside. Our cars were totally trapped and there was no way I could take Ruby out. I was going mad. DH had to work the whole time and I had to keep everyone else quiet. I really feel for you with two babies in there. You must be so uncomfortable, I had a friend who had twins and she was enormous, poor thing. She delivered naturally at 40 weeks and was beside herself! I?m jealous too though, I always liked the idea of twins!

Happy Did your visitors make it this weekend? - Did your baby make it this weekend??! Hope you are bearing up, nearly there now.

Welcome WhenStNixgotstuckuptheChimney, Appleblossoms and anyone else new, This is just the place to be, you will be really well supported by the lovely ladies here. They enhanced the quality of my pregnancy enormously and helped me along through all the horrid bits.

Clareanna Hope you are having a good break ? try floradix as an iron supplement. It?s brilliant (I think I recommended it to someone else here) and has much more iron in it than spatone. Ideally take it in the morning with orange juice and then take a regular pregnancy vitamin that contains iron with dinner in the evening. You can only absorb so much iron in one go so it doesn?t work taking it all together. Also vitamin C helps your body to absorb iron, hence the OJ.

Gilda I looked at the December thread following your message ? how very, terribly sad. Try to keep a positive outlook ? we had Louise?s awfully sad news on here just as my baby was due and it did affect me a bit. I had to remind myself of how unusual those things were. It really made me appreciate Ruby ? and still does remind me of how lucky I am. Keep smiling, you?ll be holding your baby really soon now.

Waterplate I?m really sorry to hear your news. I conceived twice in three months. The first was my mc and the second after just one period was Ruby . I think that you are supposed to be more fertile in the few months post mc. The ladies on the ttc thread will verify this I?m sure!

Moo I?m glad you?re reassured about the anterior placenta ? the midwife was and eejit. You don?t need to worry for weeks about movements!

Alba How are you? Hope you are doing well, are you still planning to homebirth? Is P your default hospital should you need to go in? Hope all is well for you.

Ruby is waking for feeding so I am going to post now and hopefully finish later. Big wave to all those who I haven?t mentioned yet and apologies if I?ve messed anything up, I?m rushing a bit...Sx

Unbuffy huge big massive gigantic congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby James. That's just fantastic news!! Hugely delighted for you. It sounds like it was a tricky labour but had a fantastic outcome which is all that matters. I'm just delighted for you! DH is delighted too, he kept asking 'any news on Unbuffy'. Just great great news!

Water I got pregnant off the back of our MC. I was definitely nervous about it but I'm now 39 weeks pregnant so hopefully it has worked out well. My view on it was that if there was a problem I wanted to know sooner rather than later but I also desperately needed some hope again so we decided to try straight away although it was difficult and we didn't expect it to happen straight away but we were very fortunate and it did. I think it will happen when it's meant to happen but I personally don't think you have to wait 6 months. As others have said that's no longer the view. There is definitely an advantage of having a cycle in between though for dating purposes as for example now acc to my dates i.e. the start of the MC I'm actually 40 + 2 but acc to my dates from the hospital I'm 39 + 4. Now I know that's only a difference of a few days but I guess with a period you would know for sure.

Littlemiss great that you got your scan appointment. That's very exciting! Sending you lots of postive vibes.

Toomuchteaching I put off the clothes wash for ages too - literally only did it at 38 weeks. It is nice though when you have it done as you definitely feel more ready.

Caribou hope your making progress on your chores . Well done u! I'm having a very lazy day in comparison!

SamB Hope Ruby is doing well.

Louise thinking of you all the time also. Really hope you are doing okay xx

No real news in HappyLand but would love love baby to make it's appearance soon. No real signs unfortunately. Might try the gym tomorrow to get some walking in - can't do any outside walking here with all the ice it's a bit too dangerous. We'll see. I keep thinking every day that today is the day but now I'm thinking it's ages and ages away yet. Who knows. Once it's happy and healthy in there though it doesn't matter.

Thanks for the advice caribou it's so reassuring to hear from someone who's been where I am now. I think the 8/9 week mark is what I'll be aiming for too. My last pregnancy ended at 11+4 but I don't want to bond/hope/plan all that time if it's not going to work out if you see what I mean.

Just want to get through the next couple of weeks at work, hopefully get some symptoms then work out how and when to tell DH!

to all x

Ok, so Ruby fed, bathed and sleeping...where was I? Well, Sunday?s list for a start!

Sunday?s List:
HappyGirl - baby#1 39+4 wks EDD 8th December
Zayja - baby#1 39+1 wks EDD 11th December
Goodluckbear - baby#1 38+1 wks EDD 18th December
Malteser1981 - baby#1 38+1 wks EDD 18th December
Gilda - baby#1 37+1 wks EDD 25th December
BunnyBaby - baby#3 37+1 wks EDD 25th December
sparklyrainbow - baby#1 36+3 wks EDD 30th December
AlbaDeTamble - baby#2 (1DS, 3yrs) 35+6 wks EDD 3rd January.
toomuchteaching - baby#1 35+4 wks EDD 5th January
Redheadgal - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 6th January
diggingforvictory - baby#4 (DS 1) 34+1 wks EDD 15th January
WestYorkshireGirl - baby#1 33+6 wks EDD 18th January
Dorcas111 - baby#1 32+2 wks EDD 28th January
Ba8y1 - baby#1 31+2 wks EDD 4th February
Clareanna - baby#2 (1DS) 30+2 wks ADD 3rd Feb
Lotta123 - baby#? 30+2 wks EDD 10th Feb
Muser - baby#1 28 wks EDD 27th Feb
Northerngoldilocks - baby#1 25+2 wks EDD 18 March
Magic8ballhastheanswers - babies#3&4 24+5 wks EDD 20th March
Lia - baby#6 24+4 wks EDD 23rd March
Hopefully - baby#2 23+2 wks EDD 2nd April
stuffedmk - baby#2 23 wks EDD 4th April
Osch - Baby#3 22 wks EDD 10th April
Ivysedai - baby#2 20+3 wks EDD 21st April
PenguinsMummy - baby#3 20+3 wks EDD 21st April
VivClicquot - baby#1 18+4 wks EDD 4th May
Loopymumsy - baby#4 18+3 wks EDD 5th May
Tigerbear - baby#1 16+6 wks EDD 14th May
Caribou - baby #2 (DD, 3yrs) 16+4 wks EDD 18th May. Next scan 5th Jan
appleblossoms - baby#2 13+1 wks EDD 11th June
crochetcircle - baby#? 13 EDD 11th June
Wobblewatcher - baby#2 10+5 wks EDD 27th June
Inbetweener - baby#3 8 wks EDD 17th July

emmywoo- about 7 weeks
Purplehibiscus - nearly 6 weeks
Nicksters mum (in Chrissy cossy)

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster, Cheepz, Freezing, BarrenBrook, MsJL, LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle, LouiseSH and Waterplate.

Having been the list queen in a previous life I always find it odd updating it and not finding myself on it. I automatically look for my name when I see it on the page and then remember that I?m not in that area anymore!

Littlemiss Good luck with your scan on Thursday, is anyone else being scanned this week? I?ve forgotten!

Toomuch Did you get any snow days? All our local schools were closed for four days last week and they?re not 100% sure about tomorrow yet. I?m sure you could do with some additional time off right now, you are doing so well working up to the end. The autumn term is such a slog I always find. I can?t remember what you teach now, I think that you are in secondary is that right? When are you planning to go back to work/are you planning to go back? I?m having a bit of a time deciding what to do next to be honest. I can?t bear the thought of someone else shaping the experiences that Ruby has for most of her waking hours and we can just about afford for me to not go back. The trouble is a job that I would have previously really liked has just been advertised at my school and I?ve been asked to apply...it?s so difficult. At the moment I think that I can have a career at any time but can only look after Ruby when she is a baby now. I?m going in on Tuesday to have a ?chat? about the advertised post.

A big hello to Zayja, Goodluckbear, Malteser1981, Bunny, Redheadgal, diggingforvictory, WestYorkshireGirl, Dorcas111, Ba8y1, Lotta123, Muser, Northerngoldilocks, Lia, Hopefully, stuffedmk, Osch, Ivysedai, VivClicquot, Loopymumsy, Tigerbear, crochetcircle, Wobblewatcher, Inbetweener, Purplehibiscus and Nicksters mum!!! Phew. I hope you are all feeling terribly pregnant and having a good weekend.

Ruby and I are fine, we are very happy and settling into more of a routine every day. We have just introduced bath time at the end of the day which has been broadly successful (sometimes we Do Not like the bath At All). During the Christmas holidays we are going to start putting her to bed in her crib after the bath and then co-sleeping once she wakes for the first feed. On the whole, co-sleeping has been overwhelmingly successful and we have had the most sleep we could because of it. Not least because we don?t spend ages trying to settle her back to bed after every feed, we just sort of nod off together. I have read mainly good things about it ? the warnings are fierce but providing you are sensible I really believe it?s the best thing for baby. I?ve ordered a Kari Me sling which should be coming this week so that I don?t have to sit holding Ruby for so much of the day (not that I?m complaining, it?s lovely!). I will let you all know if it?s any use or not. I read really good things about carrying new babies in slings when I was finding out about Kangaroo Care (I saw an ad at the hospital and was curious) so I am hopeful it will continue the strong bond that we have already. Feeding is going well, really changing now which is interesting. The feeds are all much shorter ? I guess we are getting to be more efficient and 3-4 hours apart at night and 2-3 hours apart in the day. Fingers crossed we are clear of thrush and finally there is no discomfort with the feeds. I actually believe (in spite of all the advice) that some people?s nipples just need to get used to being sucked so often, which is why there is initial discomfort. That all said, I love breastfeeding and can?t recommend it highly enough, it can be hard going to get going but if you start with realistic expectations you will get there in the end. It?s just so yummy snuggling up with your baby! I am really posting way too much, so I?ll stop! This has been a marathon posting episode..! Sx

Hi all

Can whoever did the list put me and Georgie back where we have been as " always remembered" please? As I think she deserves it. I think she deserves to be remembered on her own not with the mcs as she was much more than that.I know , in my experience of my mcs what happened with Georgie was a million times worse. In fact, when I reflect now, my mcs were a mere blip to what I m experiencing with Georgie.

I ve not posted as been away but also very very down and can't face reading about what should have been rightfully mine instead of just happening to everyone else and me ending up with the " booby " prize ie ; a big fat zero.

Congrats unbuffy. Hi to all

yes, Sam b what happened with Georgie I suppose is classed as " unusual" 1 in 200 I think but it doesn't feel " unusual" to me . Unfortunately this is my shitty excuse for a life now.

8 weeks today since Georgie was born . RIP darling xx

Oh " hi" happygirl x

Sunday?s List:
HappyGirl - baby#1 39+4 wks EDD 8th December
Zayja - baby#1 39+1 wks EDD 11th December
Goodluckbear - baby#1 38+1 wks EDD 18th December
Malteser1981 - baby#1 38+1 wks EDD 18th December
Gilda - baby#1 37+1 wks EDD 25th December
BunnyBaby - baby#3 37+1 wks EDD 25th December
sparklyrainbow - baby#1 36+3 wks EDD 30th December
AlbaDeTamble - baby#2 (1DS, 3yrs) 35+6 wks EDD 3rd January.
toomuchteaching - baby#1 35+4 wks EDD 5th January
Redheadgal - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 6th January
diggingforvictory - baby#4 (DS 1) 34+1 wks EDD 15th January
WestYorkshireGirl - baby#1 33+6 wks EDD 18th January
Dorcas111 - baby#1 32+2 wks EDD 28th January
Ba8y1 - baby#1 31+2 wks EDD 4th February
Clareanna - baby#2 (1DS) 30+2 wks ADD 3rd Feb
Lotta123 - baby#? 30+2 wks EDD 10th Feb
Muser - baby#1 28 wks EDD 27th Feb
Northerngoldilocks - baby#1 25+2 wks EDD 18 March
Magic8ballhastheanswers - babies#3&4 24+5 wks EDD 20th March
Lia - baby#6 24+4 wks EDD 23rd March
Hopefully - baby#2 23+2 wks EDD 2nd April
stuffedmk - baby#2 23 wks EDD 4th April
Osch - Baby#3 22 wks EDD 10th April
Ivysedai - baby#2 20+3 wks EDD 21st April
PenguinsMummy - baby#3 20+3 wks EDD 21st April
VivClicquot - baby#1 18+4 wks EDD 4th May
Loopymumsy - baby#4 18+3 wks EDD 5th May
Tigerbear - baby#1 16+6 wks EDD 14th May
Caribou - baby #2 (DD, 3yrs) 16+4 wks EDD 18th May. Next scan 5th Jan
appleblossoms - baby#2 13+1 wks EDD 11th June
crochetcircle - baby#? 13 EDD 11th June
Wobblewatcher - baby#2 10+5 wks EDD 27th June
Inbetweener - baby#3 8 wks EDD 17th July

emmywoo- about 7 weeks
Purplehibiscus - nearly 6 weeks
Nicksters mum (in Chrissy cossy)

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz

In our thoughts and prayers:
Louise with daughter Georgie born asleep on 10th October

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster, Cheepz, Freezing, BarrenBrook, MsJL, LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle and Waterplate.

Ok I'm completely willing to get flamed, my question would be do we have other threads for loss or post-pregnancy? These would be very useful.

I looked back at the original thread for totally and the intention of this thread from that first post was for:

".... any other ladies who have recently had a Big Scary Fat Positive and will now literally be counting the days to healthy babe in arms, welcome y'all ..."

As pregnant women are easily stressed and hormonal, it maybe easier to keep it purely for this who are pregnant.

I am no longer TTC, and am pleased to see one or two familiar names, joining the list. However most of those from my time have graduated onto here already. When I look at the TTC list, few would know me, or my story. I am happy with that and living in the present. As time goes by I'll look less and less familiar, and will eventually disappear off the lists.

Losses early on, closer to term, at term all affect different people in different ways. It is not for anyone to say their loss us somehow worse than anothers. Both my grandmothers lost babies at term and it affected them their whole lives. A cousin lost her baby at term and so did a school friend. I could not even begin to anticipate how this could even begin to feel. All these people say the loss never diminishes you simply learn to live with it.

However, it is equally important not to stress pregnant women with worst case scenarios. Each time we hear of such a loss our hearts break, and everyone on here has birthed a perfect soul, who for whatever cruel reason did not make it. We named our son, and include him in our prayers each night.

However, I still think this thread should remain focussed on pregnant women and let's set up other threads as appropriate.

I do not want to offend anyone, but feel there is potential for an awkward atmosphere

This thread is here for the good times and the bad times. We celebrate together and we mourn together. We keep a memory of those who joined but were not able to stay. And those people are, in my mind, always welcome here if they want to be here.

Bunny - we have talked about a post natal thread but there aren't many of us who have had babies yet who regularly post. I agree with Muser that this thread is intended to support all who need it through thick and thin. It was me who altered the list, without intending any distress. Louise I apologise if I upset you. I should have been more sensitive and simply did not think through what I was doing. I believe that you should be welcome to post as you need to. Bunny, while in danger of sitting on the fence, I do not wish to diminish your point of view either. Perhaps we all (clearly me included) need to be mindful of the situation of those who will read our posts.

I'm happy for a postgrad thread to be set up, if others who have recent new babies would like to join. It's been an idea for a while now, I guess having a newborn just doesn't lend itself to taking much initiative.

I agree that this thread which has been so wonderful for myself and many others, should have a "pregnancy post MC" focus. However, as Muser said, in my mind too, everyone who wants to be here although not being pregnant anymore, should feel free to and be welcomed. Particularly those who have experienced dreadfully bad things. I can't imagine having to try to find a new crowd of hopefully supportive people whilst mourning and coming to term with traumatic events. So while the focus of the thread should be on "pregnancy post MC" it should also be a place where everyone knows they will get support from people who have been on the same journey and who seem a bit like an online family, if worst comes to worst - and if they want to. I think it would be like adding insult to injury to "exclude" anyone who has experienced loss. At any stage, but perhaps particularly late MCs and stillbirths - Louise wouldn't know hardly anyone from the current TTC post MC crowd, it has been 10 months since she graduated from there.

Oh I'll shut up now - I only see myself as a visitor here anyway, but that's my opinion. Will go set up a postgrad thread instead.

Thanks Meita, will you post a link and I'll join you there?

I do think a postgrad thread is a great idea, so people can get support with the post-birth stuff, especially as more people embark on that stage. I do think post-natal stuff should mostly happen somewhere else, so as not to worry me people with scary birth stories. But I'd hope people would still pop by here as well.

As for losses, I think people should feel able to still come and post here if it helps them. I wouldn't want to turn my back on anyone just because sometimes it's difficult to hear about the bad things.

Hmm let's see, have never done a link yet...

Totally's postgrads

That's ok Sam b no offense , well maybe a little!!! , taken!!! I just felt Georgie had been " lumped" with others and I personally liked her where she was!!!

I hope people don t want me to leave as you guys knowy story as meita and muser said. Have joined another thread but also like checking in with you lot as I dont have to explain my story time and time again.

Hope my presence doesn't upset/ offend people as I m seen as a reminder of what can go wrong. I understand what happened to me may make some uncomfortable , as it does on RL, however , there is nothing I can do about that and unfortunately this is now my life and I wish with all my heart that I was living someone elses life or walking in their shoes.