Do you have to have a new baby in your bedroom at the beginning?

[JoEW]

Maybe this is a really stupid question, but is it necessary to have your baby in with you in the early days or can they sleep in another room? As you can probably tell, this is my first. Our bedroom is really small and I was thinking it would be easier to go straight to having the cot in the spare room. Is it just a matter of it being easier to have your baby near when it's really tiny or shouldn't you leave them alone at night at first?

Also, we have a very large dappy dog who currently has is bed in our room and I was thinking it might be easier to just give the baby their own room straight away rather than having to train the dog not to come into our bedroom.

I hope this doesn't sound like I am putting the dog before our baby, not the case at all!

Any advice welcome.

right

Sorry - that was probably rude but, yes, it is advisable to have the baby in your room for the first six months and it does sound like you are putting the dog before the baby.

Don't know what the no comment thing is all about, but I am expecting my first too, and I'm planning to start her off in her own room and see how we go. It's right next door to ours, so I can quickly get to her in the night, but I don't see any law that says the baby has to be in your room - totally up to you.

Having them in your room for the first few months reduces the risk of cot death, plus you'll be feeding them every couple of hours (or less!) through the night at first so you'll get no sleep if you have to get up and go to a different room.

You may well feel you don't want to be away from the baby once it's born! But yes, SIDS risk is reduced if the baby is in with you.

yes you do

babies need to be near their mother for the 6 months anything else is mere cruelty

awaits the people who put their kids in separate nurseries at a few weeks old and 'no harm' came to them

Olivetti - it is nothing to do with how quickly you can get to them.

There is evidence that hearing another human breathing can help prevent cot death. The baby is almost 'reminded' to breathe by hearing breathing.

You are right that it is up to each parent to decide what they want to do, but people should be aware of the facts.

Of course I am not putting the dog before the baby. I am not insane - just thought it might be an easier solution if there wasn't an issue with having the baby in a seperate room.

So glad I asked the question now, cheers for that.

Thanks mildmannered

If it's with us?? It'll be about 10 feet away. Babies have survived for many generations without being monitored 24 hours a day....

boy that's a cruel approach

imagine being born and being separated from your mother, sensing no presence, feeling no breathing?

no doubt your child will survive, well hopefully see the SIDs research, but I couldn't do it to a newborn puppy let alone a human being

well don't do it then - nobody is asking you to. Each to their own, is all I am saying. And yes indeed, hopefully my child will survive - thanks for that!!

Olivetti - human babies are designed to be near their mothers, that's the kind of species we are. Many more generations survived by being with someone 24 hours a day.

JoEW - you may find when the baby is here that you want them with you, I think it's quite a strong instinct. My ds is 8 weeks old now and I still find myself checking on him pretty often on the few occasions he is asleep in a different room to me.

Indeed they have.

I genuinely don't understand why some people are so resistant to have their tiny baby in the same bedroom as them for a few months.

One day they are tucked up inside you, hearing your heartbeat and your breathing.
The next day you would put them in a room alone.

I'm sorry I am being emotive about it, but I find it completely incomprehensible.

JoEW - if you look on the FSIDS website then there is so info about it and other things you can do/not do to help prevent cot death.

Olivetti, no, most babies don't die of SIDS, true, but the problem is there's no way to predict which ones will, and so any simple measure that reduces risk is to recommended - it's like taking folic acid - for generations this wasn't done, and most babies survived. But some didn't, and there's no telling before it happens which they would be. A risk control measure which is easy to implement therefore makes sense.

of course you can.

though I wouldn't. training dog not to come into our room wasn't that hard, and is a blessing as some dogs have v. strong maternal instincts and like to rip up nappies (cleaning the puppies, see?) so if your soils bin is aso in your bedroom it may save you some tidying up.

activate - x-posts :)

MoonUnit is right, once your baby is here your instincts will be to keep them as close as possible.

But she will be with me 24 hours a day, just not in the same room every living minute. But my point is, if you want the baby in your room, do so, and if you don't, don't.

Our dogs' bed was moved out of the bedroom at 15 weeks and is now outside the bedroom with a babygate. If you do this early enough the dog will not associate the move with the baby and won't be bothered that the baby's cot has "replaced" his bed. Our dogs haven't been bothered even a little bit, despite having both slept in the bedroom with me since they were puppies.

Also, I presume you'd be having your door open and the baby's door open with a babygate? What if the dog wandered out of your room and scaled the babygate, and accidentally injured the baby?

We live in a 1 bed flat and have a tiny bedroom, it will be a very tight squeeze getting a cot in there but we have no choice (we are starting off with a moses basket - maybe you could do the same, to save on space) and to be honest I wouldn't want my baby in another room at such a young age, dogs or no dogs.

My dogs are very much loved and a part of the family but I know that I have to make the effort to train them in preparation for the baby. Not sleeping in the bedroom includes this, and personally I think it is lazy to think it "might be easier to just give the baby their own room straight away rather than having to train the dog not to come into our bedroom".

Just my opinion. Obviously you're free to do as you wish. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck...

Newborns sleep for a few hours at a time and then want feeding. Apart from the SIDS risk, do you really want to get up and go into another room in the night to feed them when you could just roll over in bed, feed the baby, go back to sleep?

And I think you are going to have to start training your dog in a lot of ways, not least that they are now no longer the most important being in your house!

Sorry I meant at 15 weeks pregnant.

Clearly a bit of an emotive topic! I don't know how I'll feel, as I've never had a baby. I probably won't want to leave him or her alone for a second but I was interested in what was recommended, so thanks for all the helpful comments.

I think I liked the idea of having a baby zone that was pooch free, so I didn't have to worry about it and that seemed easier with the spare room.

my dd is 7 months, 3rd baby and i cannot imagine her not sleeping with us, as all of our children have. consider your bed as a nest, a baby should not be put alone to sleep. she has been INSIDE you forever, why would you even consider such a cruel thing?