FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

well done cunty. That sounds like a proper good feed. I am finding that holding her hand as she tries to latch on works for some reason. She's annoying me today becasue she keeps snacking. Think she has a sore belly. very dirty nappies close together. fits of crying. short feed, snooze. Repeat. Can;t be fun being so wee.

Final part coming up . Maybe I will sleep well now I have it all out of my system?

Cunty you sound just like me. I had a carton of aptamil in the cupboard for months and never needed it in the end. Getting a good mouthful is key. I used to tickle his nose with my nipple which got him to open wide and then I rammed it in.

If anyone wants to hear my 20 month old birth story I would be happy to post on here! Put it this way, the next one HAS to be better....

Come on Cas

ski we'll get these little horrors fattened up if it kills us! They had very similar birth weights. Think mine is pretty much back up to hers now.

It's such a comfort to hear that we all have flailing arm feeders! If only they'd learn that they'd get more milk if they didn't stuff fists into mouths.

THE FINAL CHAPTER ? after the deed was done
She had skin-to-skin with her dad, while the MWs delivered the tiniest placenta in the world! No joke, the were quite taken aback. It was dinky and doughnut shaped (more like a fat Cumberland sausage to me). More medics involved as MW checked there didn?t appear to be any of it missing (Mum overheard a comment about at least there weren?t any teeth or hair in there ).
Bits inspected ? first degree tear of the perineum, but they decided not to stitch. Bilateral grazes on the labia ? these still smart every time I pee. I love my jug of warm water... I was warned to clean and separate twice a day or else they might fuse together when healing [fear]. I have been religious about getting this right!
Was brought a cup of tea ? it looked awful so did not touch it.
Tried BFing, but not much happening. For reasons I do not recall they pushed ahead with a formula cup feed while I was taken to shower. I think I demanded the cup, because I did not want a teet anywhere near her (docs less into BFing than MWs).
Paeds doc called in to check out a white lumpy rash, the likes of which none of the staff had seen before. She called in two more docs for second and third opinions. They decided it was benign but they?d keep an eye on it. Female doc was supposed to check on me on post natal ward but I never did see her. So I guess they thought it was ok.
Baby, being early, had to go into what they call transitional care ? involves measures to keep blood sugars and temperature up. So time in an incubator and a few heel pricks followed, until she was allowed into a normal cot at 5am (wrapped up like the middle of winter though).

I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING HUSBAND AND MOTHER! And the MW who actually delivered my baby was a star too. Apparently I reacted very well to her voice and she could calm me down in an instant. Lovely lady. Poor SFF got a lot of ?do this, do that, no don?t do that, read my mind you fucking imbecile!? And never complained. Mum had all the weepy, huggy bits. (I managed to make all three of us cry at one stage, before baby was born). I was so glad to have them there. And I am sure I have already mentioned thehunky doctor with the chocolatey-caramel smoothe voice. MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So, looking back, I was uncharacteristically chilled out for the first stage (SFF still amazed at that one, I am usually a total stress head). I turned into a crippled Beelzebub for part two. And I just felt blessed, blissful and battered come part 3. And now I have a gorgeous wee girl, who was worth every second. (I?ll still hold it against when she?s being a bitch of a teenager though )

Am crying now. Soppy mare.

OKIE - over to you! I want to hear it all now.

I think I need to stop writing for a while now. Perhaps some lurkage will restore the balance.

I've done mine so I won't repeat it, but hats off to you cas, that sounds like a herculean effort. Does it feel like a world away now? Mine does...

Tell you what though, the sensation of waves of needing to push will never leave me. Just when you thought you were at the end of your breath you body forces you to push again and you find extra breath from somewhere. Not exactly pleasant but scientifically fascinating. In hindsight, obviously.

Quick post re bf. Do not accept any pain. Whip the babs off the boob and re-start, again and again if you have to.

I went to loads of support groups as there's nothing like the experts seeing you feeding in the flesh. i also insisted on a special visit from a hv (i.e. a non-scheduled visit) to watch me latch.

My advice is (like cunty said) be quite firm. You really do have to get their head latched on quickly and firmly. Clutch the back of the neck and whack it on the boob up and over as quick as you can.

Don't tolerate a poor latch for even a moment as it will cause lots of pain. Sometimes I re-latched probably dozens of times each feed - tis frustating. Cried a lot, but avoided the pain and now is way better.

fanny Tbh I don't feel I missed out on anything at all. I was very ill, I reacted to the induction very badly. I will be forever grateful that a fast decision was made which saved us both as jailbait thought we were both gonners. Although a little fearful of VBAC, I now know I could do it without pain relief. Am currently thinking ECS due to fear of uncertainty.

My bf problems are I feel, mostly stemming from not quite getting him in the crook of my arm right so maybe his head isn't quite at the right angle and then because my tits are so big I can't always see what the nipple is doing...

I'm shit at burping him too.

Clots: 48 hrs after section I was finally allowed for a shower (bear in mind it was 38 degrees ). Jailbait was with me to help me wash, dry & dress. I had a towel clamped between my legs to pat dry when I felt a slither. Oooh, pilled away towel to reveal a clot like liver and probably pound of butter sized. v odd given it did'nt hurt and yet I'd dilated less than 1 cm.

Contraception: Have been told 6 months to TTC due to section and been given Cerazette(?).

Hi ladies - not caught up with the lovely new fred yet but missing you greatly at the Deli

Morning ladeez. Just bringing over a house-warming gift basket of soft cheese, pate, meat, gin & nipple cream. Sorry, I ate the donuts trying to find you.

I hope you don't think I'm too wierd reading your birth stories - I think you all sound amazing. I really am in awe of what you've managed to achieve.

Pliz to leave the porch light on so I can hopefully find my way here legitimately one day.

curls Thank you for your amazing epic. Can't believe they didn't give you an epidural.

ski No, I certainly don't think you missed out on anything. If I try to analyse what I'm feeling I think it's this: I didn't go through trauma. i.e. it's not necessarily that I haven't experienced vaginal birth, I simply didn't have a big scary dramatic experience. And I'm never going to, given that this the end of breeding for this old mare.

However, my sensible brain would tell me that it is a completely stupid thing to mourn, as I made the right decisions to have two beautiful children with no problems despite the circumstances. Is there a weird cultural thing surrounding childbirth that one should have to go through some sort of hell in order to feel validated?

Packs of butter... I am now SOO embarassed that I kept my pad with the 10p size clot on it in order to show the midwife. What a nong.

Oh, and thanks everyone by the way. I was really looking forward to re-indulging my culinary love for all things liver-related. For some reason I've now gone off it just a little.

laurie - We'll always be waiting at the ready for BESHes who bring us delicacies. i.e., gin & pate!

fanny I think there is some pressure to have a vaginal delivery - but you got two beautiful healthy children, what's more important? Can't please all the people all the time. Anyway, these are probably the same people who think you're a bitch for not bf'ing until they're in school uniform! Your clot is pathetic btw!

curly Go back and get your epidural - mine was lovely, I'm thinking it should be a regular saturday night thing - it's possibly better than gin! I'd heard that they do it when you're lying on your side, but as I said when they wheeled me in they were still deciding whether to GA me or epidural me - I've had some major problems with GA in the past and they decided they couldn't risk it with 'Bert, so I was actually on the operating table when they made the decision. They helped me in to a sitting position - I was doubled over - didn't hurt much by this stage, 2 anaesthetists, one was in his 60s (I'd guess) so he's done faaaaahsands - I didn't even feel the needle go in - and within 15 seconds I was hot, tingly & numb. Bliss. Aaaaah possibly nicer than my baybee!

My bf is going much better today, he woke us at 5:30 and latched on straight away. I was exhuasted so jailbait sent me back to bed and when I woke up about 10 the nurses had been here 2 hours and everything was under control. I've asked them to stay an extra two days as I had a difficult morning and phoned the hospital and spoke to the woman who did my CS at 6am due to the pain. It looks like I'm just having a tough time with my internal stitches, I did too much on Monday and of course yesterday I walked to the Town Hall... I'm not very good at resting but I've been given a bit of a shock. Jailbait is back to work tomorrow so I could use them here just to carry him across the room/fetch me a coffee type stuff.

ski Yes I realise now it's pathetic. And I even exaggerated about the 10p.

Yes, epidural lovely and weird! When the nurses were washing me afterwards they were holding somebody's leg up. I thought - whose leg is that? because I was convinced mine was still down on the bed next to the other one.

Do Not go walking to municipal buildings of any description today please.

Might have to go and ask about that ski

We had a good night too. She had a couple of lovely long feeds lying side-by-side in bed. Such a relief. She's definitely happy to switch between bottle and breast - all my milk though.
Hiccups again... Bless

She's finally legal - we registered her this morning!

Excellent news for gin over on BESH. That BOC is really sticking in there

at registering birth. We can only go on a Saturday cos of Hom's work and you have to ring at 10 on the nose the Monday before to have even a hope in hell of getting a Sat appt.

Just come back from seeing a breastfeeding counsellor. Ladies, know this, she was worth every single penny of the £25 I just spent. Curse my naivety for going 'oh well I know the theory it's the practice that's the problem' - she explained it scientifically, my positioning was all to cock and we practised one lying down latch and one sitting up latch and it Didn't Hurt At All .

Rastus and I were so chuffed at this turn of events that we sang Tom Jones all the way home and now I'm almost looking forward to next feed not dreading it.

She was also v interesting about co-sleeping. I love it, but everyone else thinks I should be divorcing myself from all unnecessary contact as soon as possible. Stupid Western parenting ideas. The Chinese, apparently, call the first year the 4th trimester and baby needs the adjustment from womb to world which is lots of contact and nurturing through quiet periods like nightime. Research says that bar none BF mothers always sleep in a protective position for their child and never ever turn their backs on them (whereas bottle-feeding mums quite often turn their backs). Plus it is great for nightime feeds and I can vouch for the fact that it would be very possible to sleep through such a feed, now that I feel more relaxed and not hurty.

Anyway, this much I have learnt. I feel miles more relaxed.

Now I'm off to find gin

cunty the person or the liquid?

cunty yay for your successful morning! I would love to co-sleep but right now cannot lie on my side due to pain. It seems very natural to me.

Neighbour swung by with flowers - had not realised I was diffed.

at your neighbour ski.

Co-sleeping is nice. we are doing half and at half at the mo. She goes to bed in the moses basket, but tends to end up in with me after middle of night feed for a few hours. Is sweet.

I am sitting here with baby in the Moby sling. I love it! She's so cosy.

Cried her first real tears earlier though

We'll be having none of that nonsense round here

I haz waist!

yeay weanwinner! Is nice, isn't it. My uterus has fully descended and belly feels better each day (will be two weeks tomorrow). Today's trousers even hold it a bit flatter. Shame about all the weight on my arms/bum/thighs. And the fat face from both PG and steroids. Moonhead!

Hope wound isn't too nasty. PLease take it easy.

Wound is not good. Still have a lot of odema due to pre-eclampsia... and liquid is collecting in my pudenda. The scar itself is clean and in very good nick. To add to the beauty of my "ken doll" - I am walking around with an ice-pack shoved down my pants. Yes, you may admire me if you wish!

Jailbait seems to think I'm back to pre-pregnancy size but the scales say otherwise. I can feel the swelling and water retention in my legs but hopefully that will all be pissed out over the next few weeks or so.

Thanks to you lot and your BF discussions, last night I dreamed that I was bfing Artie ( who was deffo a boy by the way, second boy dream in a row after the one when we had another scan and he had a beard). Anyhow, he was just not getting the hang of it in my dream at all, he kept just licking my nipples!!

Sorry have been lurking more than contributing (I mean what the hell would I say?!!) but iz most useful fred. Am taking copious notes about BF activities - in particular, not taking any shit with the latch and force the little sucker on until you iz comfy. Good tip.

Also Curly have mobysling and bjorn coming... thinking moby good for me and bjorn slightly more manly. My OH laughed at pic of man in one on the packet. Is it fairly easy to get on? Hard to practise first I'm guessing.

Can I ask, did you guy get frequent weeing all the way through? Am getting really fed up with not being able to go anywhere without needing the loo. Is a right pain. Surely at 24 weeks this should have gone? No pain or anything so guessing is just hard luck. How are the bladders doing now? Are you finding things a bit "looser" in that dept?