FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Bloody hell, now this child has learned how to feed properly he's at it all the time

iggs You're next though!

Yes, where is rots? Hope you and babycarrot are OK. Report back soon please.

silv MrP was great with handling the first c-section. They even let him be the person I leaned on while the spinal needle was being put it (they usually ask partners to leave the room for that part). But for this one... oh dear, something went wrong. He said it was the heat of the room.

It started when the anaesthetist was putting the canula in. MrP nearly fainted, and had to interupt procedings to ask to leave the room. It's a needle going into the back of my hand, fgs. Granted, he had to have three goes and by the third one blood was running backwards up the IV line so it didn't look pretty, but still...

Then when I was being sewn up same thing happened again, but this time for longer. He had to out into the hallway and put his head between his knees. He told me he was so close to fainting, but swears it wasn't the gore, it was the heat. Luckily I was all happy at that stage so didn't mind.

ski For about the first minute when the epidural started taking effect, I was convinced I was going to puke and black out. I quite urgently requested a bowl as I was terrified of vomming on all the important-looking anaesthetic monitoring equipment. The doc quickly injected about 5 little ampules of anti-vomit potion into the canula and in an instant everything felt normal and happy again. The power of drucks! (To the tune of Frankie goes to Hollywoood 'The Power of Love')

boxer I had some of that too as I was still puking (ms? ) as I was being sewn up. Glad to report ms has now passed!

I'm worried I'm not producing enough milk despite offering him tit all the time and expressing. He's Grizzly Bear today. Although I survived 2.5 hours on my own this morning after jailbait had gone to work and before the nurses arrived.

Christ on a bike, FP you've just reminded me of how much I puked once everything was out. I thought I was going to lose all my innards upwards

don't thanks for the compliment re lying down feeds! TBH I think it's because we are both lazy. My arthritis means my arms get very achy feeding in a traditional position, and I think the stress gets through to her. Rugby ball is next best position to lying down.

Still waiting for new pump valve so have been hand-expressing for 48 hours. Not the cleanest of jobs - maverick nipple spray across the keyboard, coffee table, in the dog's eyes... Can't wait to get back on the Medela.

I'm in complete awe of these little people! Madam is lying here playing with her baby gym - battering the rattly elephant. she's been awake, but quite content, for three hours. Happily wiggling away. She should not even be born yet!

rotty where have you got to? Hope you are not too dazed and confused.

iggy nice of you to pop by. YOu are wise to avert your eyes

Hope all mums and babies are happy and rested today.

ski I would not worry. She would not settle yesterday morning, always whinging about something. Yet this morning she's a picture of bliss. Guess they still really don't know what they want. Loving the bear nickname BTW.

Mine generally gets names like poohead and squeaker.

FP tried the steam thing earlier - she seemed really happy just lying there and breathing! Maybe that's why she's happy now...

curls Glad the steam thing had an effect. It's amazing how something simple can totally bliss them out. He's had various moments this morning of writhing and sobbing dramatically, then I'll just change his position and suddenly he's a happy blissed out rag doll baby, dead to the world. Would help if he could talk to me though!

MrP left at 6am this morning to go dahn sarf for work, and took the girl with him still in her sleeping bag to be dropped at a neighbour who then took her to nursery. Neighbour will bring her back tonight and stay with me until MrP gets back. So me and the boy are having a totally Mum + son day today. In a couple of weeks I'll have full responsibility for them both. So scared about not coping with that!

at ski's ms finally being over!

That'll teach ya rierie! Definitely glad we moved over here for the graphic stuff.

Hurray for the arrival of nipple guards and new valves. Delivery man pulled truck up right next to window - and I was sitting feeding on the sofa. His high driving position gave him a right eyeful

Enjoy your day fanny. I'm sure you'll be just fine when you are alone with the little uns.

We have just had such a successful lying down feed on the sofa. Removed Rastus to moses basket, poo has leaked out of nappy onto sofa . Bloody nappies are useless (although I absent-mindedly dressed him for going out for a walk earlier in just a baby-gro, no nappy Commando-kid, just like his father

Cunty which nappies are you using?

Whilst I can't imagine what it must be like after a CS, Curls I was crapping meself about TG going back to work after Boo arrived. In reality it was a godsend - we got into a routine and it helped my confidence no end. In fact, I prefer it still to when he's at home where he just gets under feet and causes mess absolutely everywhere. He is worse than any child I tell thee.

Mmmmmm,... I've got apple custard teacakes baking in t'oven and they smell lufferly. Nom nom nom.

I was in the process of ordering from rots when we both got busy. The hospital had us on Pampers newborn and we've tried two other brands at home but Pampers are the only ones which fit his skinny wee legs.

lol@Aerie - if it helps, I never ventured on to the Childbirth boards until yesterday...

Cannot do lying down feed on side due to stitches.

W00t, if I buy a pack of Pampers from boots on sat he gets a dutch footy strip! Hup Holland Hup!

want a polly cake .

Mine is also in Pampers Newborn - just cause of a deal and that's what hosp used. We went in with a pack of Nature's Babycare and used all them too. Fitted fine. Hanging on till she's a bit bigger before trying the washables. They'd drown her at the mo.

Health visitor came - now not coming back unless we call. Baby can hear. And she is now 5lb 14oz. Little fatty

sorry about stitch grief ski. Makes my new nipple cracks pale in comparison.

I guess this the ESH thread where we don't have to dole out the violence to each other - our bodies and babies and doing a fine job on their own

Excellent news about her weight curly! Our little tyke gets weighed tomorrow - hopefully he won't do 500 poos before he's weighed haha. Although before they released us on Monday he was checked over by the paediatrition and had 2 poos before she arrived. The painful stitches are internal and they hurt when I use my abs at all... but maybe you think you don't have abs, but try getting off the sofa/bed without using them. I have to roll in to a ball and jailbait pulls me forward until I topple to my feet. Non stop glamma this mothering lark! I thought the same about the washables, I'll buy them in a couple of weeks when rots and I are both on the mend, but right now they'd drown him anyway.

Speaking of paediatritions/ob/gyns/anaesthetists and surgeons in general. Wtf? Since when did hospitals solely employ people half our age? I got fingered by a house doctor (quite cute btw) - but he'd have been 24 tops!

There is always room for a bit of violence IMO, a smack round the head will take away the pain momentarily from other sore nether regions.

Wants Pols recipe

box I have not ruled out a short term loan. I couldn't send hoss to a college. Hoss is too old for that not too mention hoss hates schooling. I will figure something out! Fear not. I already have been approached by someone who knows someone wanting what my hoss is so we will see.

Am starting to really worry about rots absence!!!

I'm thinking that if I also mention that we're using Pampers New Baby that might be enough to lure rots out of wherever she is hiding to tell us off gently educate us regarding nappies and the environment.

Rots??

Sorry about your sofa cunty. I'm picturing it as uber-stylish pale beige suede now permanently streaked with korma-sauce-poo.

rots has posted on the other place today silver so she's OK!

Ah thanks ski. I can't get on there til the weekend.

Send my regards !

I am soooooooooo knackered. Need to do chores but it's all I can do to lounge on the sofa and operate the remote control. Not to mention that the Little Person has been really booting me, which is good but sometimes I do wanna scream "ouch - watch it will ya!"

I have warned the others away but I fear I've just made a sneaky look all the more tantalizing. Excellent contraception aid!

Seriously, well done you lot for being all stoic and strong. I'm such a weed I wonder how I'll manage but I'm sure I will somehow. After all my mother did. Three times actually. I'll piss off now and go back to my rightful place. BESHes: Know Your Place.

I think I'm getting it all wrong. Hossie/nurses want me feeding every 3 hours, but at night he'll sleep in 2 slots of up to 5. If I can actually wake him (sans heelprick test), he won't feed anyway. Obviously as a new mum I'm "doing it wrong anyway" and I personally am more comfortable with demand feeding. Feeling very confused.

Aries coped??? pfff, I completely lost my shit - although unlike some not literally. Although for me my hell was less than 3 hours until my epidural and he's worth every minute.

Looks - I have loved examining his body and saying mummy's hands, daddy's feet etc. Jailbait's mum sent a photo of him as a newborn - it's shocking - it's like looking at Bert in an 80s setting - he's the absolute spit! His greety face is pure me though.

Oh and jailbait is driving me MENKUL! He is panicking all the time, e.g., taking the baby's temperature, thinking his covers will suffocate him, reluctant to put him on his side in case he suffocates, going mental over the temperatures here (it's over 30 again and will be until at least tuesday) - optimum room temperature may well be 20 degrees but GAFG - I've tried explaining that women in the med have babies in this temp and his incubator was 30+. Just take off some clothes! He's also managed to google that moses baskets kill baybees because when it's hot the air won't circulate, so he's off to buy a cot today which will have better air circulation. I did suggest he might not want to google babies in cots...

Ban Jailbait from Google!!!

ha ha ski - "normal" BabyCasp looks just like her dad (both frown on default setting with the exact same mouth), but like 'Bert, the greetin' face is very much mum.

Bless Jailbait! Very sweet if annoying

I had that three-hour thing from the hospital staff. They told me demand is fair enough, but with a prem baby they really have to feed regularly etc. We've kept the three-hour rule in mind, but generally sick with her demands. Still waiting for a real pattern to develop, but past two days she's started and ended the day with a big feed, had a decent one at about 3/4am,(with good sleeps either side) and spent most of the daytime half awake and demanding short snacks. We know she is gaining weight, so we are not fussed.

I just wish she would feed in one go - I miss those few days we had when she would sleep for long periods and let me do stuff. I felt like I never put her down yesterday afternoon

But each day is still different... Off to the inlaws tomorrow. A Big Day Out. Hoping she'll sleep well when we get home.

Bloody hell - she's lying in her moses basket right now farting and pooing VERY loudly. Just like her dad, of course