Dec 08 Ladies - Maybe this thread they'll ALL sleep through the night at the same time!

[Beans33]

Apologies for rubbish title, couldn't think of anything - mind is totally riddled by hormones...!

Hi Ladies, I will catch up properly soon but am very stressed and anxious right now for reasons explained here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/992023-Agggh-missing-impt-meeting-because-our-nanny-is-quot-stuck?msgid=2 0287389&ts=1277726786254.

What would you do? I fear there is little I can do, or will manage to do given my hatred of confrontation. Am really fretting though.

Oops that should have said 'weren't the traditional crocs clogg'

Avo - I have replied. I must admit I'm skeptical. I'd be leaning towards letting her go unless she can prove it is genuine - even then a written warning and docking pay for sure. Just sounds a bit dodgy. Wish you were closer I'd have helped.

I've finished. Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Avo, I've replied on your other thread. Def a pack of old lies I'm afraid. If you sack her then presumably you'll be in diffs until the summer recess. Did you do anything about the NY incident?

Hi Rubes, can we sort out a date for me to come to you, or you to me, or both to LadyT's neck of woods?

Off to John L now for a birthday present for MIL. Just call me Wonderwife (copyright Beans).

Proper catch up later.

Hello everyone,
Sorry not been on much. Busy busy with house move stresses.....hopefully exchanging on Friday and moving a week and a half after...fingers xed.

daisy I have to say that it sounds promising that you have at least got through to DH at last. I hope that you can start to sort things out and take your issues seriously. And get some time to yourself. Whatever happens you have to get rid of that trapped feeling situation you feel.

veggie glad you had a good time at the wedding.

LadyT glad to hear that your dad's diagnosis was OK under the circumstances.

trace - really like the house!! I would be ok with the lack of big garden myself or could at least live with it. Do you have a big garden now? Space inside is more important to me even though it doesn't seem like it when weather is glorious like this.

avo will reply on your thread but she is SERIOUSLY taking the piss. do YOU believe her?

Right must work!! Sorry about short catch-up.

What was the NY incident? Anyway I've replied Avo but not with an advice just generally agreeing. If I still
lived in London I'd love to be your nanny but I'd have to have DS2 along with me, not sure how your DD's would handle his type!

Hooray Sybs!!!

Oh Summer don't envy your moving stress but nice to know it should be over soon, hopefully.

Well done Sybs! - yes def, I'll have a look and see when I've got free days and when Lady may be free too - sounds good.

Right ? quick catch-up while dd naps.

MoM that is wonderful wonderful news! Keeping everything crossed for this baby and for you ? look after yourself. And DS, poor chap! Sounds like a bit of an adventurer.

Daisy ? I?m so sorry you?re feeling unhappy. As ever the ladies have had some good advice. It sounds as if you having a bit of an explosion was a good thing, he needs to realise that losing his mum is very sad but life with you and the family has to go on, even if it?s different to before. Really hope that it helps now that he knows how you?ve been feeling, and that the BF?s wife can help as well.

Beans hurrah for the birth story, what a swift appearance! Boo to piles, hope they?re better soon. I?ve sent you a friend request on FB, initials ED, it?s not some random stalker I promise (though I do want to see the pics of Pru!)

Avo that Sally1/Sally2 thing is very very odd. Does she also dress like Sally1? Saw your thread about the nanny/Glasto situation, how ridiculous. It does sound as if she?s taking the P, especially when you say that?s she?s 35?! Is there any way you can reorganise the meeting?

WG milk ? dd has a bit of boob in the morning (still...) and then a cup of milk at breakfast. She then doesn?t have any more until tea time. She?s starting to refuse boob at bedtime so if it?s DH on bedtime, she has a cup with tea and another in her bedroom, if it?s me I never remember to take up another cup. Is it bad to have milk after brushing her teeth? I?d never get her to bed if we did bath, up to her room, milk, back downstairs to brush teeth (through very light house etc).

WG/Spot/Lady gah to the insomnia, it?s rotten. Are there any clacker-friendly homeopathic sleep things? Maybe the teetha stuff that we all loaded up our babies with might help?

Spot great news about the low risk test. Am cross that yourGP still isn?t taking T?s chestiness seriously. I?d get DH to write him a referral if you lived anywhere near here.

Lady I guess dd has had her hospital appointment by now, hope they manage to come up with some ways to help so you?re not too worried about her. Great news about your father, thank goodness the cancer?s gone. The meeting with your agent sounds positive at least in that you?ve come out of it with some ways forward. I tell you what is selling ? a mate of mine writes these books and I frankly can?t believe it. She claims she?ll be teaching the next generation of girls about feminism, but lordy the sparkles and the stars, vom.

Urbane good to see you, sorry the work situation has got a bit nasty. But like Lady says, it?s just your boss wanting to keep hold of you, yes? I lurve toast stuff even though I?ve never actually bought any. I once tried on a gorgeous backless dress (back in the pre-dd-saggy-boobs days) for a wedding, and the lady in the shop said ?Oh that suits you really well, you have lovely breasts? ?!!!

Kiwi ? fantastic news on the sleep front! And I guess you must get DH home soon...?!

Invis, what a tough week. You needn?t feel guilty that you?re letting a client down, you?d be doing a reasonable amount of work in the circumstances.

Effie a headache for 3 days isn?t malingering [ouch] hope the doc can sort you out with something to help.

Veggie sounds like you had a fabby trip

Summer fingers crossed for the move! Before you go we must take the nippers together to the C Rd paddling pool, we took dd yesterday and it is brilliant.

Sybs hurrah for finishing things! Are you going to celebrate now...?

Well what to report from here? I?m actually getting a bit worried that dd doesn?t say anything. She can imitate a few things (eg playdough, teatime?!) and sometimes says nappy. Apart from that, there?s really hardly anything recognisable, or even anything where we can work out what she?s trying to refer to, and she babbles loads but inconsistently (not the same babbling sounds for the same things). I read to her a lot and try to get her to say some of the words, but she?s absolutely silent during these times. I know she understands a lot, she can point to all the different foods the hungry caterpillar eats (!) but won?t say anything. When she wants something, she just goes ?ah aha ah? and points. She can make herself understood most of the time, but the lack of any actual words is starting to be a bit of an issue. She can sign thankyou and motorbike (well, the sign I made up when she keeps getting excited when we see them!) but nothing more. When should the great leap forward happen?

Is my dd just a bit thick? [sob]

As always Reading other peoples selfless round up posts always reminds me of thongs I wanted to say. Lady I'm pleased about the non cancer return but also well done on pushing for the scan apart from relieving stress picking up the osteo early will greatly improve his quality of life. It's still inevitable but you've staved it off for him for a couple of years and that will
mean a lot less pain.

JJ DS1 if you remember from the last meet up I was at is quite a chatterbox eloquent. Just ask poor Rubs & Lady who were attempting to have conversation while he ranted. He said about 3 words up until he was about 2 & 3 months then all of a sudden he started picking up words by 2.5 when he started nursery they were commenting on his good vocabulary. I know exactly how you feel but don't compare to other kids her age. At 18 months DS1 was saying 'vroom vroom' when I pointed to a car, while his friend born on the same day would say not just 'car' but the colour of the car!

Thongs!!!! Sorry meant things

Oh and meant to say DS1 is quite eloquent

JJ She is SO not thick - signing thank you is not only clever but terribly polite too! . DD has only just started saying words in the last week or two - and even then I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't be able to distinguish them from the rest of the babble. As Veggie says they all develop at their own speed and since she clearly understands, that's the main thing. I remember a few months ago fretting that DD didn't seem to understand - or react like she understood me - yet suddenly she'll fetch things I ask for and so on. Well, if she's feeling cooperative. So I guess what I'm saying is that these things seem to happen a) in their own time and b) in fits and starts.

Bugger, the phone ate my comprehensive and well written post (ahem). One thing before I try again - I can't see Beans pic! I am friends on fb, unless she's ignoring me (sob!).

Went to gp and am not dying but she is testing for anaemia. Off to see a friend being made a vicar (not sure of the correct term there) in the next county - haven't seen her in a decade so v exciting. Except the a12 is closed so it's a bit touch and go as to whrher
we'll get there in time!

Blimey, loads to catch up on today, still got work to finish tonight so no epic catch up from me I'm afraid but just wanted to say Avo, I think you got lots of good advice on that other thread about your nanny and hope you're able to make it up to your boss. How did you decide to deal with it in the end?

JJ, T only knows words that end in ooo. So boo for blue, choo choo for trai, and two for any number. Oh, and boo. I really don't think you have anything to worry about .

Veggie, so glad you enjoyed the wedding and the boys had a good time. Sorry you're all nostalgic for London, do you feel that way too or is it more about DS1? DP today dropped the bombshell that he's going to quit his job (planning to find another first, thank god) but most of the things in his industry are back in London so there's a good chance we may go back there. I felt quite upset, but mainly for T has he has a little friend here and I feel I'm gradually getting into the place, but we need to go where the money is, he's pretty depressed here, and all my friends are back in London. I just want the quality of life we have here, but transported. Hmmm. Oh, and I guess that answers our flat niggles for us.

Sybs you truly are super woman, getting up so early to work and buying MIL a present. Am in awe.

Daisy, good news on the chat with DH (though hope actions follow words) bad news on the tonsilitis. . Have you been prescribed antibiotics?

Effie did she give you any strong drugs that will make you hallucinate in a good way? Glad you're being taken seriously though.

LadyT, how did the appt go today?

Sausages call, later.

Gah. Avo's thread is making me cross. Why do people turn up 10 pages into a discussion, say "I've not read the thread but" and then give a completely irrelevant experience of their own, as if that's meant to somehow give the original poster the answer to their own, remarkably different, problem?

Wow 10 pages, cool Avo.

Have only read quickly as I'm only just in and have been out for most of the day...so I am not going to rush through my responses but answer properly tomorrow.

Can I just say, though, to Avo, I have glanced at your thread, which I intend to read properly, and may I say I am fuming for you and would dearly love to come down and bollock that irresponsible woman myself. I know the girls love her but I think she is taking the piss and not just with this either I think trying to remonstrate with people who work in your home with your kids, though, is really hard and stressful - it's NOT like with someone at work where you have more of an emotional distance, and I am really sorry for you. But she does need to be told.

Appointment today - paediatrician was lovely - DD was weighed and measured and she is only on the 2nd centile with clothes and a wet nappy on and her height is off the scale - in that she is a tiddler, not a beanpole. However, her head measurement was good - apparently nutrition gets diverted to the brain first! Walking - the paed examined her thoroughly and said that her ligaments seem much looser and bendier than average and she thinks this might make her more wobbly and will be offputting for her, so we have to keep encouraging to stand, as we have been doing, and buy her some shoes/boots with ankle support which she should wear for up to an hour a day. If she isn't improving in three or four months they might give her some physio. Also, bumshufflers walk later but I can't remember what the explanation for that was. Finally, we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that she may not be walking by the time her sister arrives

DD was asked lots of questions and given instructions to check for understanding, like "Hand this to Daddy" and "Put this baby [doll] in the bed", plus what lots of items were in books, and the paed went through how many words we thought she knew and concluded she was rather advanced for her age in that regard which she then related to the food issues...Which she reckons are entirely behavioural. DD is not even being tested for any allergies now, and having gone through her detailed food diary, anything physical with swallowing has also been ruled out. In essence, she is stimulating and amusing herself trying to exert control over her poor parents Worse, said the paed "it's a hard thing to unpick". Great. We have been referred to the infant nutritionist, who will attempt to give us tips on how to deal with it including from a psychological perspective (which is good, because she has us on our knees at the moment) and may give us iron supplements for her. Otherwise, we are just to persist as best we can - keep offering a range of food, and acting as if her shenanigans don't concern us (easier said than done for both of us as we both worry horribly when she is on her third 'meal' of the day, and she has only eaten a couple of mouthfuls. I mean, the child eats dry Cheerios one by one. And REALLY slowly and deliberately).

Oh, and JJ, may I just say that your DD is DEFINITELY not thick. I have it from the paediatrician's mouth this afternoon that my DD only says all she does as a function of her being relatively immobile. Also, wouldn't you say the fact that your DD has an intense physical curiosity about the world is a GREAT sign of intelligence? Cos I certainly would!

Right, I am bushed and will reply to others properly tomorrer.

Hello lovely ladies. Sorry I've been gone for so long, so long in fact that I managed to drop off the thread. I have been trying to keep up, but not really managing, so want to send lots of love and hugs to everyone as I can't possibly remember any personals, sorry.
Things are a bit manic here at the moment so I am going to disappear for a little while. Nothing personal, I just can't keep up with life at the moment and am stressing myself out trying to do too much, and although it is the one thing that keeps me sane, MN does seem to be the logical thing to drop for the moment. In summary of the last few weeks: the budget wasn't nearly as scary as I was expecting (from a CGT point of view anyway) so that was a relief. Exchange still hasn't happened on the cottages, but is expected to this week. We have architects plans arriving this week too, so all very exciting. DS doesn't have anything seriously wrong with him, just a lack of motor skills, and a laid back attitude. He came first and second in both of his sports day races so I was a very proud Mummy, however he was absolutely devastated that his team didn't win overall. He has obviously inherited my competitive streak!
DD is a little Madam at the moment and refuses to go to bed, every night. Although she had her first completely cry-free morning at the CM's today, yay.
Really can't remember anything else and am so tired from cleaning and tidying this house all the bloody time now that it is on the market, first viewing tomorrow, fingers crossed.
I will be back soon, once I am calmer so don't go anywhere, love to you all for now x

Katie I'm sorry you're taking some time off from us but completely understand. good luck with the cottages - v exciting.

Will properly catch up tomorrow but LadyT that sounds both tough and reassuring to take in if that makes any sense. How do you feel about it? Can they put you in touch with anyone else who's been through similar? Just a thought but I imagine that talking to other parents who have done this before might be more help. I wish there was something more constructive I could offer. And am sure you're blaming yourselves although you really really must try not to. From the sounds of it you did all the same things the rest of us did and this is just one of those things. You never know she might respond well to the slight dilution of attention she'll get when your DC2 arrives. She does sound like a remarkable thinker although I'm sure that's not much consolation. She is my tip for 'most likely to rule the world' of the Dec 08 babies...

Avo your day sounds dreadful . I would be fuming and upset and would get rid of your nanny when you've lined up someone else. The agency should let you off any fee for recommending someone so unreliable. Can you keep her until the summer break and then let her go? You'll presumably have some more time then to find someone else. In the meantime though - and I can imagine this is very hard - you have to trust that while she'll be pissed off with you she will still be ok with your DCs. She's not stupid and knows she's relying on you for her next reference. Do you want me to ask my wondernanny if she knows anyone in your neck of the woods? Am sure you can't bear to think about it but I found simplychildcare the most useful site - lots of agency nannies with no agency fees.

This might sound absolutely crackers but do bear in mind that I don't work far from you, and if this ever happened again (god forbid) I would happily come to your building and play with your DCs while you had a meeting. My poor DCs spent half an hour under the supervision of one of my team wallpapering a meeting room with post-its when our nanny had a (perfectly legitimate) crisis the other week.

JJ our DD isn't speaking properly yet either - at this age DS had about 100 words. I know it's hard to be relaxed about it. At the weekend I was yabbering onto DH about how it was ok she couldn't talk because she was more dexterous that DS .

Sybs hurrah for finishing. Sounds like a real slog. Hope you've rewarded yourself with much cheerfulness.

I was at the Tate summer birthday party this evening and it was hot and miserable. Also there were some protesters because Tate is sponsored by BP for exhibitions etc. and they spilled some black stuff in the gallery entrance to symbolise what's happening in mexican gulf. Entertainingly enough the 'protesters' were apparently from a group funded by the Arts Council. .

Daisy I'm glad your DH reacted in a sensible way to what you said. Hope you get some time together to talk through things/have a lovely holiday.

Veggie wedding sounds great. And I think it just shows what a generous hearted lovely soul your DS1 is.

DH has just woken up and asked me what I'm doing. Good point. Should go to bed. 'night all.

Katie - come back soon, darling! Hurrah about the cottages and great that your DS seems basically ok.

Urbaneski - thank you for your kind words. I do blame myself as DD is mostly with me, and I do feel like there must have been something twisted in my care for her somehow for her to feel the need to try to manipulate us in this most fundamental of ways, but I don't know what we've done. I can't think But maybe I am taking it too seriously...Anyhoo, I should have gone to bed an hour ago but I am too wired.

Sorry I didn't get my big catch up last night. Had to put some things on Ebay and then the wine beckoned.....

Very quickly as I have a school run to do in a min:

JJ - DD is not thick. My DD2 said very little til she was 2, when she started speaking in sentences. I was worried as DD1 had been such a chatterbox, but she is now very articulate and chatty. So don't worry. S is simply biding her time.

Daisy - so sorry things are so hard right now. Am thinking of you.

LadyT - it's nothing you've done. Babies are funny buggers. She has decided that this is your Achilles heel so is going for it. Did the paed say anything about the milk? Mine are mlilk monsters so if I held back on that or even gave it a long time after meals so it wqas like a separate event, they always ate more. I'm sure there's much more tto it than that, but just an idea??

Mut dash. Will try and pop back later.

5 mins to nanny showdown. Feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. My nanny thread is slightly perturbing fir the strength of opinion it has evoked (& the fact some people misread then start misunderstandings which are picked up by others who then accuse ne of misreading the situation). I am now paranoid that the nanny, or a friend, will read it as it's been prominent in chat for ages.

Also dealing with slightly mad friend of my mother's who is staying. This morning is six years since my mother died and this friend was with ne when it happened. This morning she bought me breakfast in bed at 5.40am (exact time mum passed) and then blubbed in my bedroom for an hour.

Back soon, please say today can only get better.

Oh, Avo, what a nightmare morning for you, I didn't realise this was also the anniversary. Good luck, stick to your guns, and today will get better.