June 08 - if your name's not down you're not coming in!

[EddieIzzardismyhero]

Welcome to our new cliquey thread !

Eddie - Happy Birthday

Spider, I cannot imagine now being pregnant and looking after Ethan . When I was pregnant with Ethan I often felt like a sleep after breakfast and then another after lunch - you're not getting that opportunity. I'm glad your dh sent you off to the cinema and took over though,it was just what you needed and no you are not a bad mother, I've been really short with Ethan today, just getting a bit bored of staying in with this terrible weather and playing with the same toys with him, having the same battles etc etc....It's not going to harm P if he watches Cbeebies for longer than normal so you can rest on the settee whilst he's quiet

Essie - any more symptoms?

Abdn - private pool sounds lovely, and thanks for the comments re riding a mens bike, you're right it is the pubic bone which is affected, I thought I was just being a wuss!

Ktpie - glad things are going well for you, think we need more photos on FB though!

Rolf - how's the neighbour?

House - have accepted the provisional offer in principal, but they haven't sold yet so might still not work out, more waiting around.

Poppy - when is your scan this week?

Eddie - happy birthday!

Deb - mega congrats at the offer - hope it comes good for you.

Oh and Poppy -I am also utterly exhausted non stop (I thought it was my thyroid playing up again before doing the preggo test) so sympathies.

I embarrassingly cannot remember the last time I read a book

Can I ask a boring question about poo? Luke's poo is the same as it as when he was just starting weaning - not soid at all. Is there anyone else like that or is something wrong? I am dreding potty use at it will be more of a pain to clean that than a nappy!

Amber, A's poo is rarely solid - I put it down to the gallons of water he drinks! And presumably also the fact that he sits in it!! Am guessing ours wouldn't look poo-shaped if we sat in it !

Haven't told you my poonami story from yesterday - got on the mini train at Marwell Zoo and suddenly realised that A had done the biggest poo I have EVER SEEN ! It was so big it was sitting at the top of his nappy . When we got off, we had to clean him standing him up and he went home in just his nappy as it was all down his legs and up his back! Thought I'd share . . . .

I'm not even going to go there on the exercise/losing weight stuff cos all of you talking about it are all skinny minnies so to you all!

PMSL spider, at you finally confessing the coke story - I've been dying to say something but thought you might hit me in a hormonal rage .

Thanks for all the birthday messages - had a lovely day, went for lunch with my friend and her wonderful 15 year old son. Her son took A off for half an hour to play in the playground and my friend held M, so I had uninterrupted lunch, tea AND cake .

She is coming back round again in an hour to babysit so dh can take me to my favourite restaurant . She is an amazing friend, but is moving back to her native Oz next year and I just don't know how I'm going to cope without her .

Right, off for a birthday bath while dh supervises the mayhem .

Spider glad time out made you feel better- have alsobeen seriously moody (not helped by equally high maintenance child who seem to
have dropped her nap).

Scan tomorrow pm amber so will keep you posted- am surprisngly relaxed as there is sod all i can do If not ok.

Will be back to post my low brow choices later- am also a great one for disguised bodice tippers here.

And lots of poonamis here- am tempted to see I'd age will go for a toilet seat to avoid the cleaning up when we get to toilet training.

Happy birthday Eddie and have a lovely meal xxx

Books- julia childs my life in France
the house at riverton- Kate Morton
the piano teacher- Janice lee
it's a Dons life Mary beard (can't say I have read this as was unwanted gift!)
and in hardback(so may not travel well) the captive queen - Eleanor weir

Kate Morton is one of my guilty pleasures - well one of the better ones as have a real taste for trash [ blush]

Happy Birthday Eddie.

Congrats on the offer Deb

Poo - sometimes T's are very loose but since I stopped bfeeding she has had some bouts of constipation which is very painful for her . Today she had a big poo that was too big and solid for her to get out properly, and it really hurt her. I rubbed her tummy and lower back with some oil, which seemed to help. She was rocking about on all fours like a woman in labour . I am trying to make sure she drinks a lot and eats lots of fruit etc, but it seems to sneak up. She has also had some eczema since I stopped bfeeding. The others went to see friends down the road and she was so upset at being left out. She kept wailing "me, me".

Haven't forgotten about books but need to rummage through the shelves and see which ones I'm prepared to admit to and which are too shameful .

Lol Rolf you killed the thread!
Poos vary here - sometimes blobs, but mostly paste. (Ugh...)

Can't wait to hear the shameful books being admitted to!

No more symptoms here. My sore throat is better, almost gone; I still have spots on my hands and some are quite fierce looking. Nothing on my feet or in my mouth. So no idea whether it is or not. Iestyn meanwhile is ok, although rather grumpy tonight, and he hasn't really been eating for me. But nursery thought he was fine.

Done my exercise - thanks Spider on the positive comments! Weight doesn't really bother me, appearance does. So that's the aim, and I suppose I was expecting rather a lot in 6 days! I never was patient...

Off to bed now - mMaybe tomorrow I'll tell you all about my job stress (again...) if anyone can bear it: it's all rather playground level here and I'm hurt. But I can't talk on the employment board because I'm easy to spot.

Finishing my book tomorrow, hopefully by lunchtime. It's like having a baby, that is. Last time I finished a book I got pregnant.
(We'll see - I'm more relaxed about having a gap between siblings now, after my panic about everyone having babies right now. There's nothing wrong with a 3 year (or more) gap, right? Anybody got that? Also I would like to get a proper job before I sprog up again. But it may not happen - I said that last time too!)

Hope the scan goes well tomorrow, Poppy. I'm sure it will!

Come back and I'll tell you all more about poo

Good luck tomorrow Poppy.

Hope you're not too diseased *Dewin". Btw, DH does quite a bit of employment work if you ever need to get some advice. My girls are 3 years apart and they get on very well. I'm finding it a v nice age gap.

OK, gonna be really annoying now after saying anything, I'm not sure about medieval history... 3 cups of tea and particularly one day sound great. Did you enjoy them?

Eddie - All sound good, but I've read Louis T, John S and Bill B. Found John S really good at first then a bit same-y and a bit egotistical, good to have a first hand account though.

Spider - If you feel better after SATC 2, then it was def hormones! Or just a bad day in the life of a normal excellent mother.....when you don't care what kind of mother you are, then you're in touble.

Abdn - "our generation was not brought up for motherhood and it's a different set of skills than the office...." - I agree completely. I know being here in small town NZ doesn't help, but it's a completely different world to the one I was inhabiting before.

Abdn - private clean pool sounds wonderful. Finally psyched myself up to go swimming the other day only to discover the local pool is closed for winter. It's an indoor pool!!!

Dewin - Smtms Ry eats more ice cream than dinner. If they're generally eating well, one off meal won't make any difference and will stop them being obsessed with 'naughty' foods. Bloomin' impressed you lost weight with choc cake in the house tho. Thank you for the book recommendation - ignore my previous comment about historical stuff obviously .

And I've missed a page...but can only ignore Mommmmyyy, Mommmmyyy, Mommmmyyy for so long.

penguin - send me your address on facebook and i'll pop the books into the post. Three cups of tea was okay but it's not my thing. I did enjoy one day though, it's a good read.

DH has screwed things up with his company again - cue floods of tears from me as I tried to sort out payroll last night and I was up with nightmares about tax all night. It's a bloody mess and I'm so frustrated. He's a brilliant engineer but he was forced to go contract and he's just horrible with paperwork. This whole mess is costing us thousands, and this month too with the boys birthdays. I just don't want to deal with it but if I don't, no one will....

I'm admitting to myself that I'm actually depressed now but I'm not sure what to do about it. Medication seems like a silly idea since I know why I'm depressed and it's not chemical but situational (large amounts of stress including financial stress, issues with loss of career and identity, no time for exercise). Anyone know what I should do beside wave a magic wand? I can't get rid of the financial stress because DH just isn't capable and honestly I need him to make the money to pay the bills so I'm terrified of giving him this stuff to do and having him fall apart.

Last time I was in rough shape was before Fraser's birth and I saw a homeopath and that really helped but it's £50, and we're on such a tight budget at the moment that I'm loathe to spend £50...

Aberdeen - sorry to hear you are down. I totally recommend talking therapy if you have anything in your area. Sometimes it really helps to talk to a stranger who is interested in hearing about your woes where you can be truly honest about how you feel. I went to a counsellor when I was feeling down and not sleeping when Luke was younger and it helped so much. Also pre pharma medication, try St John's Wort. It takes a couple of weeks to get into your system but completely natural and you can buy it from anywhere.

Thanks for the poo comments. I can't write too much as I feel as sick as a dog today but just wanted to say good luck to Poppy today. x

Great news that you're feeling really sick, Amber! Seriously, major sympathy because I was horribly sick for my entire pg (I suspect hyperemesis but it was never diagnosed - but December that year was the first time I had a six pack in my life, from all the contracting and heaving.)

Abdn will message you on facebook later on. But I totally get where you're coming from. As you all know (yawn yawn sorry) I have job stress on average about once a month - I'm not where I want to be, I can't get there (at least not quickly), and it's hugely frustrating. And I have also felt the same as you (and still do quite often) - clearly depressed, but not depressed enough IYKWIM and also the only solution is that magic wand. So whilst talking it through helped a lot, it didn't give me any results really because all the therapist can do is say 'that's really shit, you've been hard done by, but we can't do anything unfortunately'. I'm not very patient or good at accepting things really.
Rolf I may well come a-calling. At the moment it's a stalemate situation - I'm out of time on my previous job stress (I'm still annoyed but I did have a baby...) but in future, if the history dept advertise a position which I can apply for, I'm going in with lawyers. They've screwed me over several times, and I'm now at the point where if I don't get a job, I give up, but leave a bitter taste in everyone's mouths!! All this is 'academic' (scuse the pun) because there is no job at the moment anyway. But you know, it's good to get worried and lose sleep well in advance of these things - if you can spend years worrying about possible situations then, er, you're prepared...that's my theory and I'm sticking to it...

With the payroll, some practical help - can you get an accountant? My sister is a chartered accountant but she's now changed career to be a school teacher, but she does jobs on the side to keep her qualification. She (but obviously there are folks local to you - I'm using her as an example not hawking her wares!) could do a one-off for you, set up the process so that you take over, or do a 6-monthly/annual thing etc etc. So you don't have to pay an accountant full time as it were; you can get it sorted on a pay as you go basis if you find someone like my sis.

OK so this is a long post. I am procrastinating. I will be back at lunchtime to announce the completion of my book. Hopefully.

Oh and Penguin, I'm off to thirteenth century Wales if you need anything.

Sorry Abdn . I think Essie's advice about getting some accountancy advice is v good. DH is crap with money, and I'm not much better. When neither of us takes control (which is the default) we end up in a frightful mess and end up having huge screaming rows about it. So I admire you for not letting things get to that stage. The rare times that I do take responsibility for it, I have a mixture of in-control smugness, and blind panic at having to be in charge.

Homeopathy can be great but, as you say, it's expensive. Could you get out for more exercise? You always sound v happy when you've been outdoors and on the move . I know it's not a solution to the underlying problem but it might be an affordable sticking plaster??

Is there anything voluntary, that wouldn't involve huge childcare costs, that would keep your mind engaged and keep your CV chugging along? Or is that an idiotic suggestion ? Actually, it probably is...

My girls had a tag team last night, to see who could keep me awake, so I'm so tired my eyes hurt. DH is being really grouchy - we were supposed to be on holiday this week but had to cancel. We thought that at least he'd be around over half term as the time was booked out of his diary, and we could all do things together. But he got sent to court yesterday and has a big drafting thing to do this week. I'm so pissed off, and so is he, even though we should be glad he's busy and earning (in theory anyway. Our dreams only become real when his clients actually deign to pay him.

How is this for crap: the varicose veins that caused me the most discomfort and were the most unsightly have come back, this time accessorised by little red scars all over my legs, from the operation

Golly, I'm really fun today. Need more coffee..

Please could someone post something very cheerful?

Sorry to hear about the woes on the thread today. I don't have much constructive to ofer . I have suffered from depression in the past (over IF) but didn't have children so had money and time to do something about it.

AH, I would second what others have said about exercise but notice you mention that as something that you don't get time to do . Do you have a sympathetic GP who you oculd talk to? Counselling is great but the waiting lists are very very long and paying doesn't sound like it would be an option.

Rolf, A said "I love you" to dh for the first time last night (he's never said it to me ). Is that cheerful?

not bad eddie but could do with something more slapstick. Don't even mind if it's about poo...

Sorry, I've already shared my poo story .

I'm really struggling to think of something slapstick Rolf. Sorry to hear about your veins and scars, hope dds have an afternoon nap and you can get a rest today.Bugger about absent dh on half term though, I hope the weather's being kind to you.

Abdn - really sorry to hear you're feeling down, just as well you're part of this lovely group. You know you can say what you want on here and we won't judge you, you've got lots of counsellors for free here!If you ever need someone to talk to irl my number is on our website.

Stefan went swimming with school yesterday, apparently on the bus home he and friends were playing spin the bottle , complete with kissing but the girls banned kissing on the lips, which his friend was very cross about. Can't wait for him to go away for 3 days with school

Poppy - good luck with the scan

Amber - great news that you feel sick!

Eddie - aah, how sweet, Ethan couldn't put 3 words together yet!! Hope he says it to you soon!!

Dewin, how much longer shall I keep the champagne cooling, is it finished yet?

Penguin at an indoor pool being closed in the winter.Are there many things to do around you?

Latest on the house - the prospective buyers are on holiday, hopefully when they return they will have a buyer for their place.The exchange rate is looking increasingly bad for us, if we'd sold in March we'd be £23,000 better off!!! I wish dh hadn't worked that out!

slapstick? Fraser just gagged on his sandwich, left the table to come find me, threw up in the lounge into his hands, walked through the house dripping puke everywhere, found me and deposited a whole handful of vomit in my hands... But i'm okay with vomit (my younger brother had severe reflux) and it's all cleaned up already....

Will respond more in a while - I'm off to playgroup with F now, but thank you all so much for commenting!

I'm thinking of poppy today too...

at your vomit story AH! I would not have handled that at all well .

And at the amount of money you've lost since March on the exchange rate Deb. How crap .

FIIIIIIINIIIIIIIISSSSHHHHHHEEEEED!

Deb you can open your champagne. But don't wait for me - if you want to start on the booze at 11am, you do so!

AH's vomit story was not at all funny! See, you cope better with that than I do.

Can't think of anything funny or slapstick. But I have got bestiality in my book index. Want the full text?

Deb's spin the bottle story made me laugh.... And don't look at exchange rates - we moved here when the £ was at it's highest vs the Canadian doller - we'd have been so much better off if we'd waited a few months - but there's nothing you can do...

We do have accountants and I'm talking to them to get help. It'll cost money but they are reasonably understanding. The problem is that up until April DH had a company registered in England with accountants who were crap - and they are responsible for a lot of the mess. All of our issues really stem from that but we can't get it transfered to our half-decent accountants up here because of the border... DH hasn't helped matters but honestly it's not all his fault. I'm confident once I get things fixed, I'll be able to maintain it from there. It's just the stress and the cost in the meantime. (we're into the thousands now...)

I'm going to go swimming and lift weights on the weekend (gym opens at 7am) and I'm hoping that will help. Paying for counselling isn't really an option I like because as Dewin says, I know what's wrong and they wont be able to fix it. The plan was to go in the evenings but I'm spending all my time sorting out the financial stuff at the moment.

Rolf volunteer work would be a good option but I can't really take anything on because I might have to drop it suddenly if I get a bit of work. And I'd feel like crap if I let people down - I'm one of the organizers of our church playgroup and I've missed a few and I feel bad enough about that - although at least they know us well enough to understand that we're a bit overwhelmed. Word's gone round anyways - I got a call last week saying I no longer need to make something for the church picnic and have been given the job of being social with any new young families (unlikely that they'd be there in the first place but hardly stressful).

dewin I hope you're celebrating...