November 09 - rolling, laughing and cutting teeth ... but us mama's are still not getting sleep!!

[scarlotti]

New thread for us

Sirboob you are not not going because of the hallucinations, the hallucinations are the symptom of all the stress that going was causing you: there was just too much piled against you going this time. Now that you've made the decision I hope you can relax more. I'm glad you can talk to us on here. I find posting on here a real relief too. x

Pavlov I am jealous of all your dinner parties too. Hope things are a bit better in the Pavlov household today.

Hobnob It's a tough decision. Is there anyone in your dept you can imagine job sharing with? How long would it take you to get back time lost, once the girls go to school? If it were me, I'd probably be inclined to work less hours but accept that my career may suffer.

DWB James does that in the Bumbo too.

For a highchair I can recommend something like this (I'm not sure why that one is so expensive as we got ours from there for much less.) DD still uses it all the time either in the highchair mode or, more often now, as a table and chair. Don't know how we will get it off her for DS to use.

So, after all that older kids talk yesterday, DD came back from nursery and put the changing mat over James' head. I told her (nicely) not to do that and said 'I'm just helping you to be the best big sister', that's when she burst into tears and said 'I don't want to be a big sister any more, I want to be a little girl' (seriously, she has been swotting up on Words to Break A Mother's Heart), then after a cry she said 'I'm jealous'. I am really surprised she even knows that word, never mind recognises the emotion in herself. I wonder if she has been thinking about it.

We had a big cuddle and a bit more of a cry (her), then of course when she accidentally stood on James' face () just before bed, it was her who was comforted. I don't know what more I can do. She already has far more attention than him. Do you think it's just a matter of time or is there anything I can do?

I can't believe how much having 2 kids makes you feel torn in two.

Oh no, it's because we had the cheaper highchair here

Laugs, I'm very impressed by your daughter. She is really smart! Some adult wouldn't probably realise when they are jealous and even be able to say it!
I'm a first timer but I really think it is normal for the older ones to be jealous and it is a matter of time to get over it even if you do your best to help her through it. And I would say, "recognising" the problem might be the first step to get over it.

fruit my ds will be 4 on may 12th.

fruit and laugs Thanks for the suggestions on what to do, I think in reality it will be me bring ds in even though it may be a pita at times, at least it means the baby will get five minutes of peace and quiet!

for laugs' DD. It is tiring being the eldest and always feeling the weight of responsibility. I hated it. But now as a mum of 2 I also hate the neglect suffered by #2. But it always amazes me just how much DD2 adores watching and interacting with DD1, so I suppose that enriches things a bit. But getting your face stood on isn't fun.

I had to deal with my first megapuke of motherhood today. I was still in bed as DH drove off to work. DD1 was fed and playing, DD2 was beside me after feeding twice since 5:45. I was rudely awoken by that unmistakable puking noise, followed by sloshy liquid noises and coughing. There was 2 feeds' worth of sick everywhere. It soaked through her entire sleeping bag, front and back, her jammies, her vest, a square foot of duvet, a bit of the sheet, mattress protector and mattress and onto the carpet. So the bed clothes are in the machine, the mattrees protector awaiting. Isla has been in the bath, as has the corner of the duvet, which is now on the line.

She's now wheezy. Does that mean she aspirated some? Seems happy enough otherwise.

Laugs aw poor DD I do remember how jealous I was when my brother was born - I was six so slightly older, but still is very clear. Some days I was really glad he was there, but most of the time I wanted him to go away and leave me and my parents alone. They were mine, and I didn't want to share. It took a while, but once he was old enough to actually interact with me, I enjoyed him more, and enjoyed having a little brother. I hope she gets used to it soon. x

I have been told I am going. Bags are packed. Bryn is changed. I'm trying not to cry because I'm so scared. Its pathetic, but true. I want to stay here

put your foot down if you dont want to go. your an adult with her own child, responsibilities and needs.

laugs what an amazingly perceptive little girl you have! I think, if she is that aware of her own emotions, she is going to be just fine. I wish I had some answers for you on how to deal with it, but suspect that all you can do is give it time. It sounds to me like you are doing everything right. We are going through similar things here, but without DD being able to identify herself what she is feeling. It is a difficult age i think being 3 (dd, 3 almost 4). So much expectation for them to behave in a certain way around the babies, for them to understand more than maybe they do. DD is so grown up sometimes I have to remind myself she is still little herself.

{grin] at those jealous of my 'dinner parties'! more like kitchen suppers tbh. We just socialise with our friends around food now, seeing as we don't drink any more (well, not more than a couple of glass of wine, and if pushing the boat out, some cocktails). And DH has a habit of making far too much so we have to share! He loves cooking, thank god, i am not so keen! Although I am making an oven pot chicken curry for this evening, with bhaja, dhaal and naan. Mmmmm I am looking forward to it already! DD will enjoy the dhaal, but not the very hot curry! Reuben will enjoy it all a few hours later

just a quick question: is it actually possible that I got Paula's virus? I'm feeling as if I would come down with a cold and normally, as she has been sick and I have been "in contact" with her, I would pick it up, no? But then, why did I not get it earlier, in the same time and from the same person than she did? I assumed that I had antibodies but maybe just not enough or strong enough for her to not get any symptoms?
I know that normally bf babies don't get it when their mum has something as they get the antibodies in the same time but I suppose it is not working the other way round.
(lots of words for such a short question, sorry)

evening ladies

so many posts to catch up on, not sure I'll remember to answer all of them.

Laugs bless your dd - does she do feelings in nursery? DS does, they are encouraged to work out and articulate how they are feeling. Think it does help. Can you maybe help her to find the benefits of being a big sister? Even things like having someone to fetch her things for her, or any other perks you can think of.

Pav hope things are on the mend in your household.

ursi it could well be that Paula has a virus that you either didn't get or which has mutated since you had the initial virus iyswim. Best thing you can do is keep on with the kisses and catch it back as then your body will create more antibodies and you'll then pass them on.

Ioan does the same thing in the bumbo so I'm presuming it's life span is limited. He still is under the weather, nasty cough and rattly. I have a really sore throat so don't know if he has that too, hope not

We have Ioan's christening this Sunday so tomorrow will be busy getting things sorted. My mum has been brilliant today though, she's sorted out loads around the house (decluttered into bags and taken them upstairs) and also tidied up in the garden. It's been so nice having her here and she's done so much to help. Will miss her when she heads back home.

Oh my, hats off to those of you who have dealt with sickness viruses before. I thought DD1 was better so sent her to nursery today and have been pestering her to eat thinking she was just being painfully slow as usual. Cue a piercing wail at about 10pm and I got into her room just in time to receive her fajitas on my jammies. More bedding washed, bathing done, carpet 'vanish'ed, another load of washing on. That's the 5th today after Isla had another megapuke this afternoon all over me and my new carpet and a dirty nappy up her back at lunchtime (a bumbo special, as I call it. We have had the same issues with the bumbo so I rarely use it now. That and it's uncanny ability to cause the occupant to fill their nappy up to the arm pits). Thank goodness it was a sunny day.

I thought D&V was a 24-hour thing? DD1 started with it on Wednesday. DD2 isn't feeding well at all, just snacking really, and I'm a bit concerned at her hydration. She's fast asleep at the moment, even through the wailing, crying, bathing, etc. I'm in 2 minds about a dream feed since I haven't done one for a while now. Should I let her be to try to ensure her last feed stays down or feed her and risk another vomiting episode?

Sorry for the TMI nature of my posts. I'm genuinely amazed by this experience. These things are virtually unheard of in this house.

hobnob Have you checked DD2s fontanelle? is it sunken at all? How are her nappies? I looked up diarrhoea and sickness on the nhs self help section of their website when DS was doing his epic pooing earlier in the week and it had recommended getting medical advice for me which I did not do right then as he was fine in himself, and then he improved. But might be worth calling OOH Dr, for both of them if they have both been poorly for a few days? You might be given an anti sickness prescription for them? I think taking that helps the flora rebalance and in fact helps with reducing the sickness? I hope they feel better soon and you get some rest yourself.

ursi i am not entirely sure how the antibodies thing works, i had thought the same when DS apparantly had a cold at christmas and I didn't (although now know it might not have been a cold). I hope you feel better soon as well.

scarlotti good luck for tomorrow! Have a great time, i am glad your mum is there to help/enjoy it with. And I hope things with DH are ok atm, at least enough to enjoy tomorrow.

Bad night here, Reuben woke hourly, uncomfortable, crying in pain/frustration at being awake? he would only settle on the boob which makes me think teething. His cough and mucous has come back though, and his breathing was wheezy. I have not hoovered for 2 days (i had been doing it daily) so will need to give it a thorough hoover in case that is it. However he is now sat in his bouncer in front of Babytv kicking and rocking himself really really hard and talking very loudly and happily.

Weaning - think we are going to have to do this earlier than planned. On account of DD already starting it! We set the highchair up yesterday, DD sitting pride of place next to him (bad move). She was eating chicken on the bone yesterday for her tea. Reuben had a sippy cup to play with (thanks dwb great tip!), DH was in there cooking our tea, i was in the bathroom re-organising the shelves. DD know he can't eat food, we have been there, she knows he only drinks milk, she tells us. 'he can't eat food yet mummy can he? he is not growed up yet'. So, imagine our surprise/shock when she calls 'mama! Reuben likes chicken, he does!' 'oh does he baby? {she is clearly pretending to feed him] are you pretending to feed him? 'no, i fed him' WHAT?!! so calmly {not inside] we are like 'did you really feed him some chicken' 'yes' she says beaming. 'where is it now' 'its in his mouth, looks he likes it' beaming even more so, we look at ds to see him smiling and playing with his tongue. Luckily, i manage to fish out the soggy bit of chicken as he has no idea how to swallow it!!! So we think if we start it now, then if she does it again, he will have some idea how to eat it and less chance of choking on it? Obviously we also learnt that we have to sit with them both when DD is eating food and have had a serious chat with DD about how it can make him poorly, again. We thought she had understood that but it is impossible to keep them seperate/watch them every second, so i want to minimise the risk. What do you think? Should we start now? He is 20wks today (i think). Or will that just encourage DD to feed him more? And do you think she should be part of it, to help sometimes? or do it when she is at nursery/playing/asleep.

pav the BLW book says that it takes time for them to learn to eat the food even after they can get it in their mouth. Baby's gag reflex is further forward and gradually moves back from 4mths I think so that they can't get into trouble too early. If he can get the food to his mouth I'd say go for it. 20wks today is correct! It does say that they should be given food at the start of mealtime then left to get on with it, not helped/fussed over/watched like a hawk. Can DD go along with that? (assuming you are doing BLW, if not ignore me!)

We still need a highchair and will probably wait a couple of weeks til he is 5 months before starting.

Our bedtime routine has worked the past few nights, asleep in cradle by 8pm. He then wakes around 11, 2, 5 & 7.30 which is much more than normal so I'm wondering if this is hunger...

I'm probably going back to work full time 2nd week in July, taking advantage of DP's summer hols to have two full time salaries without childcare costs. Hoping to be pregnant again before the end of the year so it won't be forever but would make a big difference financially if we can stick with me full time until mat leave no 2. Oh yeah, and there's the added issue of there being no jobs for Maths teachers so DP might be unemployed or working as supply!

So Ethan will be about 7.5 mths when I go back. It's not really feasible to continue with breastmilk so I'm thinking about formula for daytime & bf morning & nighttime. Any tips on gradually replacing me with a bottle. I know it should be done one feed at a time.

PS pav are you using a non-spill sippy cup? We are, although I have the other kind as well. Ethan seems to chew it rather than suck it & has been pretty shocked to discover water in his mouth and promptly spat it all out. I'm thinking he might learn quicker with the normal cup although it would be messier.

DWB the HV here said only use the free flow sippy cups as the others can cause dental problems. Not sure if I agree with that but have bought a free flow one just in case. They should learn quicker too that way.

Pav my understanding of BLW was that until he could put the food in his mouth himself, you shouldn't start. Chewing and moving the food around develops at the same time, so if you wait until he can literally feed himself, then all the choking issues etc disappear.
Personally I'll be in the room when food is around whether I'm eating or not. Will take it as an opportunity to sit with the boys. Would be too worried what might happen if DS1 'helped' Ioan with his eating. Would completely be borne out of love and care but ...

IL's down today. Flights from Aberdeen are cancelled so they've had to get the train. Ouch. Expensive. Will be here around 5pm today then head back around midday Monday. Will be nice to have extra help and they haven't seen the boys since Ioan was first born so that will be lovely. Am hoping my cold type thing starts to go though as it's making me feel rotten. Any idea what we're allowed to take if still bf?
As for things with dh, it's copeable just. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that it's not salvagable but now need to wait for this weekend to be over and possibly dd's exams to be finished. I might try and have the moving out conversation at the end of the month and see if we can be amicable enough whilst he sorts something out for after her exams. Will see how much courage I've got at the time.

scarlotti we would never leave the children alone, DH was in there with them, had been sat with them, had got up to stir the curry we were having for our own dinner. But clearly we cannot leave them for one second atm. DBW If we start weaning now we will obviously not do BLW. We know they have to be at least be sitting up completely on their own, and DS can sit up well, but slides a little. I would not be happy with him having solid bits of food for a good few weeks yet. So we would start with puree. I did a mix with DD, so expect we will be doing a combination of, not one for being restricted by one way only when both work. Its a tommy tippee little baby one, it is non spill but the odd drip comes out, enough for him to get some, and like Ethan he loves to chew it mostly. he also loves the spoon. Think we will wait a week or two.

We've got a tommee tippee cup as well but think I'll throw caution to the wind and give him the freeflow cup today. It is only water after all.

pav let us know how you get on if you try purees etc.

scarlotti Sorry that this seems to be the end of your relationship. I hope you're ok x

Hobnob these things can last more than 24 hours and can come and go too. DS2 had one at 13 months that lasted 7 days and I was phoning the health visitor in a panic as he wouldn't even take calpol at one stage without puking, he would seem better and then relapse puke city again. He did get better though and bounced back quite quickly once he'd completely thrown it off. You do have to watch for dehydration in DD2 as Pavlov advises. Stomach bugs are the work of the devil in my opinion, I dread them. I remember once me, DS1 and DS2 were all ill at the same time and it was hell. I was hardly capable of looking after them well never mind two puking boys.

Those of you well into weaning do you offer three meals a day yet, or just breakfast / tea? Lunch / tea? or what? So far DS3 has breakfast (apple and baby rice) and tea (random vegatables) but no lunch as he feeds at about 11-11.30ish which seems to early for lunch and 2.30ish which seems quite late. I can't remember what I did with the other DSs now. One of those times will evolve into lunchtime I'm sure but which one I don't know!

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine today

Pav hope it didn't sound like I was implying you gave them food then wandered off! Just agreeing that you can't take your eyes off for a second.
I do acombination of both BLW and mush. Tea time on work days will be too busy for blw so will spoon feed that one. Lunch can be more relaxed and he can feed himself.

BBL struggled with the same re lunch, so am going to do solids in the middle somewhere nap permitting. DS1 has lunch at nursery around 11:30 though ..

DWB thanks.

Thanks BBL, so far so good today.

I cannot recommend plastic-backed bibs or sleeved bibs enough for those free-flow cup times

hobnob Hope your DD's feel better soon.

Pav What is the next step with Reuben's breathing? Is he now monitored by the GP? I'm sure he'll enjoy joining in at meal times!

scarlotti Sorry you can't sort things out with DH . Hope you enjoy the big day tomorrow. Can you post a photo of Ioan on FB in his outfit?

Off to a party tonight. I've actually forgotten how to dress up! Treated myself to a new top and shoes. DH is staying home with the boys as he doesn't mind sitting in front of the x box!

fruit next step re his breathing - he is taking inhaler medicine twice a day atm, and we have an appt with gp next week to assess again. His breathing is definitely better since we went to see gp last week, but not sure if this is the antibiotics or the inhaler or both, but there is still a distinct wheeze, but again could be the inhaler needs more time to take effect (preventer not reliever), i have also ready mixed research about the effectiveness of preventer medicine in babies (some suggest it does not get into their lungs due to size of airways/refusal to breath deeply enough etc).

However, we have noticed the last three times we have been out that his eyes have swollen ever so slightly, and have become red around the rim. They do not run with tears. Not sure if this the sun, the sea air (each time we have been near the water) or something in the air. He is pale skinned and it seems he may be a ginger haired boy, as his blond hair has very distinct orangeness to it now the sun is out! If so, with his very pale eyes, could be the sun? We are going to get some baby sunglasses for him!

scarlotti did not take it that way, just wanted to make sure you did not think i had left them to it! Have a great day tomorrow.

hobnob how are the children now? Any better? I hope so.

Everyone else - sorry if i have not responded, hope you are all enjoying some sunshine.

Hi all, thanks for the kind words about DD. We all went swimming together this morning (except James didn't go in as hasn't had 3rd jabs, so DH and I took it in turns to go in with DD). Then this afternoon DD and I went to see a Charlie and Lola play that had been booked months ago. So it turned out, unintentionally, to be a very DD-focused day. She has seemed very happy and relaxed, and not acting in the grasping kind of way she has been recently. Of course, not all days can be like this, but it was nice all the same!

Pavlov If the sore eyes come with runny nose (clear, not green) and a wheeze, it sounds like hayfever or an allergy, especially as they are swollen. But DH has blue eyes and for years he tried to convince me that the sun made him sneeze because of his pale eyes. I thought this was total rubbish, but then we saw it on QI or something and it is true!
I think the preventer inhaler takes about 10/11 days to take effect.

scarlotti Is the christening tomorrow? I hope it goes brilliantly.
If possible, it might be better for DD if you wait until the exams are over to tell DH how you feel about your marriage - unless, of course, she has picked up on an atmosphere already and would rather know what's going on.

DWB do you put water or expressed milk in the cup? Does he actually drink it or is it just to get used to holding?

Hobnob your poor DDs, I hope they're on the mend soon.

Laugs I'd been putting water in. Hope that's ok... He doesn't drink much, it's just another toy to him at the moment but I wanted him to learn how to use it in advance of weaning. I figured it might help his co-ordination when trying to put things in his mouth. Used the freeflow cup today, he was pouring it all over his face and seemed to enjoy it! Hope he doesn't think that's what a cup does!

Scarlotti good luck for the Christening. The ILs have missed a cracking weekend of weather so far up here. All about to change I think though.

So far DD1 seems better, but not eating well still. DD2 was on great form today but seemed a bit out of sorts in the late afternoon. I sensed she was feeling sick, yet I still tried to give her her bedtime feed (why?) which she boked straight back up, along with her medicine and the the late afternoon feed it seems, all down my bra (and top, cardi, jeans, sleeping bag, babygro, etc.). Washing machine on again.... thank goodness DH has managed to cement in a new base for our washing line!