Jan 2010 babies and mummies here.....can't think of funny thread title!

[crumpette]

... sorry couldn't think of a title that didn't mention how to get orange poo out of a white vest, or how to get jiggy post partum!!!

Helloooo girlies. Didn't I do well .

I managed not to MN for about oooh 8 or 9 days. Having withdrawl though!

OMG where do I start. First of all I haven't been able (too exhausted) to read ALL of the posts and am not totally informed on the crumpette case but it's all very familiar sounding to me.

MY dad over the back. My mum put up with him and feared him for 28 years before leaving and what a waste of 28 years that was. I could go on and on about him but I won't.

Anyway, I just wanted to say crumpette, im sorry you are in this horrid situation but in my experience (as the child), it does effect the children hugely even if he doesn't lay a finger on them.

Especially boys are effected by fathers. My brother HATES my mum and dad with passion.

He blames my mum for keeping him in that situation and atmosphere and hates my dad.

My brother is also my dad reincarnated and 10 times worse. He treats woman like dirt and has 3 kids to 2 different woman (so far) and doesn't pay a penny. He put his last girlfriend, her 10 yr old son and their 2 tots through hell before she went to some organisation to get help.

He persuaded her the kids would be taken off her and she lived in fear of SS but i think me and my mum got through to her.

He turns up whenever he fancies and she lets him but at least he is living elsewhere.

If you don't do it for yourself, please do it for DS, it will mess him up. .

I don't mean to make you feel bad, im meerly shaking you virtually because you sound so nice, intelligent and funny and could definitely do much better for you and DS. xx

jardins I know what it's like to have that cancer scare it's awful and I too planned my funeral but there is a zillion other outcomes.

We are naturally drawn to the worst. Your Doc is being vigillent because of her other patients but all bleeding post partum bums can't have cancer, our asses have been through alot!!

I will be examining my poo in true hypocondria fashion now though.

I look forward to your post telling us about your huge pile soon.

(what is a fissure, is that a pile)?

ctfn im so jealous of the meet up! London is waaaay too far from Edinburgh or id be there. .

Looking forward to party doing another test!

ali sorry to hear about Jacob. My DS was always on the 9th centile and he is fine.

Shit, ive forgotten loads already.

Well Ive spoiled DS and it's paid off. He is back to his uber cute self!

His 3rd birthday party was brilliant. Invited his 5 wee pals all born same time (ante natal group), all boys (the one girl was on hols). They all get on so well and the weather was fab.

All I had to do was provide food, paddling pool and water pistols and we all sat on our bums and let the fun commence.
Was lovely to watch. Handed out ice creams with flakes and rasberry sauce - silence for 20 mins!

He had a ball. Said it was his best birthday party ever (was his first )!

Poor wee thing though, has had a terrible cold and cough since and been sick in his cot at night etc. Think heat + his temp is making it worse.

DD's reflux been terrible. Impossible to feed and sicker than ever.

Started giving her a little solids which she totally spits out like she is not ready but if she takes the rice it helps a bit.
Even hates pears - weird child. The best thing that is helping is we now give her a bottle of formula at her 6pm feed and she downs 7oz and sleeps right through until 6pm.
Before, when I BF her at this time, the reflux was keeping her up and being sick until 9-10pm. Definitely more settled with formula just like DS but feel sad that I know feeding will come to an end soon.

I don't know what Docs are going on about.

I have had 2 babies with reflux and BF them both from birth and by 5 months been tearing my hair out struggling to feed them and watching them suffer.
I then give them formula and they calmly take bottle, are less sick and more settled .
How is BF better for reflux then?

Im all for BF when it works but it does make me seriously wonder why they advise this when ive experienced the opposite twice.

Anyway, sorry for long post, it's been ages since I chatted on here!

WMDO - think you win the award for the biggest post ever! . Great to hear from you. Glad to hear the party went well.I am with you on the sadness of giving up bfeeding, but Nico is doing what DS1 did at this stage, simply snacking from me - is not interested in filling up fully from the breastfeed. Takes enough to curb his initial hunger, then turns away. Am pretty sure he will be off the breast in the next few weeks. DS1 was fully onto the bottle by 23 weeks, Nico is 20 weeks, so reckon it will be similar timing. Shame, because I would have carried on if he was interested. Last baby and all. But can I say, I felt this way when giving up with DS1 and once I had given up and my hormones settled back down..I felt absolutely fine!

Jardin - any more news from you, have you had any more tests?

Party - purlease do another test, you have to be preggers surely!

Lottie - How are the twins? I am with you on the sadness of giving up bfeeding, but Nico is doing what DS1 did at this stage, simply snacking from me - is not interested in filling up fully from the breastfeed. Takes enough to curb his initial hunger, then turns away. Am pretty sure he will be off the breast in the next few weeks. DS1 was fully onto the bottle by 23 weeks, Nico is 20 weeks, so reckon it will be similar timing. Shame, because I would have carried on if he was interested. Last baby and all. But can I say, I felt this way when giving up with DS1 and once I had given up and my hormones settled back down..I felt absolutely fine!

Ali - how is Jacob?

New - hope all is well with you? Havent seen you on in a while..

CTFN - poor little Olivia...hope the teething pain settles soon.

Crumpette - OMG about your DP! That isnt nice for anyone. Now that he has sobered up, have you managed to chat? It doesnt make sense, if he was highest performing etc, how can they justify it?? That in itself is grounds for appeal surely?

Hope everyone else ok.

Oops, double post on the sadness of bfeeding. Blame the tantrumming toddler who has had his favourite farmyard confiscated for the day. We should have been in town picking up some bits and bobs, but for some reason, DS1 saw fit to have a complete and very public melt down (despite saying he wanted to go to the shops), so we came home. One hour later, is now very contrite and occupying himself upstairs in his playroom and I am still seething. He only pushes boundaries like this with me and tbh it is getting exhausting. Makes me think about going back to work 5 days a week, but then I know I would miss the boys too much.

This parenting lark is relentless isnt it?

wmdo nice to see you back glad

mk Jacob is still really poorly I'm fed up of it really all I seem to post is how poorly he is He's been on steroid tablets for 8 days now and we are not seeing much improvement the gp yesterday was hmmming about sending him to queens but he is still managing to smile. Last night was the worst night and he is still weezing and coughing terrible this morning Dh is on his way home as I'm so worried think we might head off to hospital

WMDO WELCOME HOME!

alibobins so wish I could give you and Jacob a big hug and some cake! It's been sucha bumpy ride for you since his arrival, do go to the hospital if you are concerned, always always trust your intuition. Poor little thing.

mistletoe hello, yes he really was the highest performing with best feedback etc etc, but had major disagreements with his line manager who has also been made redundant and he thinks she stuck the knife in before she went, but still his role isn't actually 'redundant' they will need to replace him all very peculiar and quite the worst timing whem I'm not working, it really feels like it's one bad event after another. It may be that we could just about get by on my salary if I went back full time and claimed tax credits but he will have to sell his house where his exwife and kids live- we can't pay the huge mortgage on it anymore. It's not going to be pretty!!!

WMDO thank you for your post, it does help me to see if from the other side. I would hate for any of this stuff with DP to have an effect on DS- I would be horrified if DS turned out like DP! I would also be horrified if he was affected at all by the environment which of course children are

agh I don't know what to do, I now feel like I can't leave because he's jobless and I need to help - how nuts is that?

MK DS is doing the snacky thing at the moment, he won't take a full breastfeed. He's just snacking here and there, for only a minute or two.

Monday weigh-in moved to today- 9stone 6lb, so not as bad as I expected! hurrah

Very quick post for now... Crumpette - maybe, just maybe, this is the "out" you need? Whilst you may feel bad about it - how about putting up some emotional barriers, trying to go all cold and heartless inside and say to yourself "well, I was worried about being on my own for financial security .... now is the perfect time because when I go back to work I'm only paying out for me and J and not Dickhead too".

Seriously - your main concern (that you voiced here anyway) was the "how will I cope financially" aspect. It really doesn't matter a jot now does it? From an outsiders point of view - and I'm sure he has good points, is charming etc - he doesn't deserve you to be his pay ticket and pay towards his ex-wife and kids. You have your own son to look after and quite frankly you cannot do that to the best of your ability and earning potential if you are looking after him and his interests first.

I know it's not easy and I know how we get sucked into these things. My own DH has ex and grown up kids that we pay a fortune towards and I always feel quite cross inside about it - however, we do have a different set of circumstances to you and I know that most of the time I am being completely and utterly unreasonable in my feelings.

I think it's time you put his feelings to one side about the job loss and get yourself sorted, with help from whatever authorities you can. Unreasonable behaviour is the route you need to go down. FWIW, I wouldn't bring it up with DP yet - unless you're prepared to pack and go stay somewhere immediately. Just don't sign your life over to him to get his finances sorted PLEASE! x

Crumpette - also, there is no way his company could have made him redundant when the job is "not redundant". That is against the law - as you would probably know from your studies. His company could be prosecuted big time. Might I suggest that he has been sacked - or asked to resign? Of course there is no way he would tell you that though is there...?

Oh Ali - to you. I am so sorry that you and Jacob are going through this. It must be exhausting.

Crumpette - second what CTFN has said, if they have made your DP redundant and are then recruiting a replacement, they can be outright sued. It is illegal, but anyone with even basic HR knowledge knows that...so would be stunned if a company of any reasonable size does that. If they have been really careful, under 'restructuring' they can change the job roles/ their remits etc...is it possible that they have changed his role and he has said no to it? Has he said anything more to you?
P.S. well done on the weightloss!

Well yeah it's weird, it's all really weird, he's the only one who can do certain things there and will need to be replaced, so his role simply isn't redundant. Also weird is that I had to sign for a package last week in the post giving notice of disciplinary proceedings but the meeting time/date was under 24 hours from the date I received it, so he told them it was too soon and has rescheduled it for this week. It was over something minor though, very minor about missing a deadline for drafting an exam when everyone else missed the deadline too. You may be right, CTFN, this could me my 'out'. I guess whatever happens there will be some massive upheaval so I may as well get used to the idea. I imagine, tbh, he will want to leave London and move into his mother's house that he owns. And there's no way in hell I would ever do that (inhabited by his mother, a bunch of mad tenants, lots of dry rot collapsing ceilings and faulty electrical features, oh yeah and his mother..) so at that stage I will say no, and if he chooses to bugger orf up north (no offence to northerners but his mother is a nightmare) I will stay in London. That also eliminates the blame element..

Just came on to say that with the development about the CTF being axed, I finally pulled my finger out and set up DS' CTF account with the Children's Mutual, just in case Cameron-Clegg try to take my son's cheque away from him!!

If anyone else is still looking for account and considering the Children's Mutual, if you sign up with Quidco (online cashback site like KidStart) then apply to Children's Mutual via Quidco, you will get a £25 cashback. Then the online application for the CM account will let you set up a direct debit online which will qualify you for a £20 or £40 Mothercare/ ELC voucher. Don't let the freebies sway your decision re the account but if this is the way you are going, consider doing it this way.

Just a reassurance, Quidco is legit... highly recommended by MoneySavingExpert's Martin Lewis and various national newspapers etc.

Flyingma - ah now, about the CTF.... I set one up for my DD1 7 years ago and have been contributing ever since. At the same time, made sure I contributed equal amount to my DS saving account. Have also set up a CTF for Olivia. BUT DH and I talking and decided that they really are NOT a good idea when you contribute additional monies yourself. Reason being is that ONLY the child can access the money at 18. Parents can NEVER touch the money - put it into trust or whatever. Now, having been through the mill with a 19 yr old DSS, we figure that there is no way on earth we would have wanted him to have access to lots of money at 18. He would have blown it on drugs and alcohol and there would have been NOTHING we could do about it. College fund pah! What we are now doing instead is setting up 3 separate ISAs in our name (tax free) and making our monthly contributions to that instead. We take the government grant (already done) but tbh £250 won't be a lot in 18 years time. However, we can control when they get the money and what it gets spent on. Hopefully, university - but worst case scenario, we save it for when it can be spent wisely. My advice is think very carefully about contributing extra yourself into this particular vehicle - even if you've already done so - can you remember what it was like to be 18? What would you have spent the money on? Will your DC turn out as sensible as you were/are now? We just don't know do we.

Anyway - that's my tuppence worth.

Crumpette - the disciplinary procedure could have been final straw, might have followed verbal and written warnings in which case, dismissal. However, do continue to smell coffee and plot .

CTFN that's a very good point about the CTF. I inherited some money at 18 and blew the lot (and it was a lot) on er, nothing. I have nothing at all to show for it, A year of lots of partying and clothes that don't fit me that I've already given to charity, lots of alcohol. That's about it. Literally, nothing. I would go out to clubs and parties and buy everyone drinks- thousands vanished! And I was reasonably sensible compared to my peers so I don't think lots of money at 18 is a great idea. I could really have done with it right now, actually etc. Could have been a deposit on a flat or anything- but nope, it's gone

There were apparently no written or verbal warnings first, but I'm not convinced I ever get the full story from DP

New well done on the weaning already!! Go Jack!! I don't think there's a right way, just start off slowly once a day then twice and then up to three times, then carry on like that til he has snakcs too. It's important to ensure he still gets lots of milk at this age. I have bought some organix mixed packs to start him on the rice mixed with breastmilk and then try the other ones and then add in other foods. The porridge in the packs is the banana one DD loved, can't find it on its own anymore though! I think he's nearly 20 weeks so will start quite soon within a few weeks. I'm just lazy- all that stickiness and mess is putting me off

argh I keep littering all my posts with typos! Sorry to hear you had a stressful time New but it's perfectly normal for babies to get up super early. DS gets up at 5.20am on the dot every day now it's lighter and WON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP he has a feed and then chatters away really loudly and eventually if I don't take him downstairs he gets all irritated then when I do he's quite happy (he is partial to a bit of eamonn holmes on sky news?)

Oh sorry everyone for my extra long post!! Maybe staying off for 9 days is a bad idea !

Olivia hating food. She is 23 weeks today and last week I started her on baby rice without much success.
I thought maybe Pears would go down well this week but she is revolted. Maybe I didn't puree them enough, who knows.
It really helps her reflux if I can get the rice in a bit. There's hope.

Olivia was the same new with the heat. I met friends and told them what an easy baby she was, very happy and she moaned and cried all day, ha! Just too hot and bright for them and they can't sit properly etc, must be uncomfortable.

Gawd does anyone else feel all sad at the speed its going?

Im just cuddling her loads, sniffing her baby head and kissing her all the time as if she is going to be snatched off me tomorrow! I don't want to go through pregnancy/birth and reflux again and want to be content with the two i have......BUT

On that note party, c,mon, make us jealous!

When I was diagnosed with thyroid probs my best friend and mum where both convinced they had it too.

I was laughing at them saying oh tired, fat, moody, thats how they felt!
They both rushed to docs for blood tests and I told them they were just Fat Lazy Hypoconriacs.
Turns out my friend is, ha (she's not really fat) but my mum does have an under active thyroid too. Must be hereditory then. She also still has high blood pressure and high cholestoral which im much more worried about.
She smokes (alot), drinks too much wine and eats prepared meals constantly. Worst of all, she has the will power of Michelle McManus so not good.

Right, I better stop chatting now or it's going to match my last post! I have to keep off of MN during the day, bad bad bad.

Oh dear. 04:50 and been up with Olivia for an hour with her absolutely screaming the place down. No consoling.... until I brought her downstairs and gave her some milk, which she downed instantly. Not sure if it was comfort or hunger. She's now gone off to sleep and I'm about to caffeine up! Looks like it's going to be a looooooooong day

Breakfast done, lunches done, paperwork done, dog walked, Rhiannon to school - now for ironing and hopefully later I might catch a snooze. Oops - she's waking. F*ck.

Morning all!

Flyingma - thanks about the reminder re. CTF. But am with CTFN on this one. We have a separate bank account for the boys in our own names. The earliest they would be able to get their mitts on anything directly is 25. I think 18 is way too young to be left any sum of money.

New - I didnt power on through this distraction with DS1. I take it as the cue that they are ready to move on. Although many mothers dont and continue to feed - I think it is a very personal decision. I plan to start replacing feeds with formula over the next couple of weeks. Am sad, but I do think he will start sleeping better as will take more milk during the day from a bottle. Even a quiet room with no noise no longer helps him feed. His best feeds are at night when it is dark and he is half asleep, then he drinks loads. So I think in order to get him sleeping more, I need to get more milk into him during the day. Re the weaning, I think the GF weaning book is great, am following it again.

Crumpette - any more news from your DP?

Ali - How is Jacob? Did you take him to hospital?

Party - have you peed on another stick yet?

Lottie and CTFN - to you both.

Today is a big day for Nico, planning to start baby rice. Have 6 days with combo of DH at home/ DS1 in nursery, so can spend that time focussing soley on Nico..

Have good days all!

Good luck Nico and MK!!

Thanks CTFN

Well, for those wondering about weaning from breast onto bottle. I have a little boy who is playing more contentedly than he has done for an age. Replaced 11am bfeed with a bottle and have realised that the on/ off grizzling recently has been hunger pure and simple. Nico has totally lost interest in the boob, refused the breast completely but then downed 5 fl. oz from the bottle in one go! So we are going the ff route gradually.

Also tried some Baby rice, he was excited and some went in. So lets see. My little boy is growing up!

I'll join you for some caffine (props eyes open with matchsticks)
We are home after spending a very noisy unsettled night on the children's ward.
Went to a&e when Dh got home Jacob was seen straight away and given a nebuliser was told we could prob go home at tea time but Jacob was still very breathless so ended up having 2 more nebulisers before being transfered to ward.
He is still wheezing badly but is managing on normal inhalors so said if we were happy to come home they would let us.