Dog, sorry you are feeling down.
Its hard not to compare them to their peer group isn't it. I think everyone does it to some degree. Even parents of children who don't have any problems put themselves under pressure and make themselves feel bad by comparing what their children can do to others. I know its hard, but try to focus on what he can do well. I bet somewhere in the mix there is something that he can do better than his friends and try to remember that while it seems a rough road to travel at the moment, he will find his own strengths and then he'll just take off and leave all this struggling behind, leaving you wondering what you were so worried about in the first place. As you said, he has come a long way already, he is making progress in his own time and will get there when he's ready.
I went through similar with ds2 when he fell behind at school. It felt like he would never get the hang of the alphabet, let alone reading, while all his classmates were forging through the reading scheme. As for writing, I honestly thought he was dyslexic because he struggled so much to even hold the pencil, let alone form his letters correctly. It was so disheartening, and I was so worried about him, especially as I put in hours of time at home working with him and I knew that many of the other parents barely even read with their dcs once a week, let alone work with them on letter formation etc.
BUT Fast forward to a year and a half later and he is a very different child. He has met and exceeded every target he has been set and is no longer in the bottom groups for literacy and numeracy. He will never be the brainiac that his big brother is, I know that, but he is doing fine and is happy at his own level. Also, he is well liked and sociable - something ds1 is unlikely to ever be. I feel sure that he is going to do something creative in the future, whereas his big brother will go for computing/science/numbers. They will both choose their own paths and build on their own strengths, but sometimes I just need reminding that I need to trust them and have a little faith.
That said, as a Mum, its so hard to do. I feel for you, hormones make everything so much harder to cope with. ((hugs))
Tink - good luck with ebay. Hope you make loadsamoney!
Ds1 did the cutest thing last night. He came down at 11.00 to go to the toilet, but was still asleep really and on autopilot iykwim. I was watching QI on catch up TV and as he walked through, he stopped, looked at the tv and said "Mommy, are you watching the Leakest Wink?" he had absolutely no idea he'd said it the wrong way round, so I just answered him as if he'd said it right, but then I had to hold my breath until he left the room as I was fit to burst holding in the giggles. Then I woke up dd because I was laughing so hard.