January 2009- toddlers turning 15mths and all that jazz (really just a new thread so DOG can fit it on her poncey iphone!)

[PatTheHammer]

Good enough for ya dog .

And sorry I do realise some are only turning 14 mths and some are nearly 16mths etc,etc......apologies!

All officially toddlers now though i think (well 120's H and HKZ's J are pulling up/taking steps now I think, think mostly everyone walking of some sort!) Scary thought!

Shuffled off to make sweet potato and spinach lasagne [had no squash] and realised......no lasagne.

Did you know it is pretty much impossible to improvise sheets of lasagne? Didn't even have a spud to use sliced potato, didn't even have aubergine to sliced aubergine. Which I don't even like so probably just as well

Happily we have a Sainsbury mousaka in the fridge, and 2 lots of taste the difference mash. Some roasted sweet potato and we have dinner, and work lunch too. I can't work 12 hours without something warm!

Hello Tink, lots going on in your house. Really hope your bits sell.

Supposed to be clearing out the junk kitchen. Oh well.

Tree, I'm sorry I wasn't around earlier. Killer sinus head kept me awake most of last night and resulted in me trying to go back to sleep after dh got up with the boys. Then we went half way across the world to buy a camping heater in the Go Outdoors sale, only to find they have completely sold out and aren't getting any more in before the offer has ended. Did get dd a really snug baby sleeping bag though, as am getting a bit concerned about the minus temperaturest that keep appearing on the weather forecast for next weekend.

Still, am here now. Overdraft thing is a bummer and can see how it would dampen you spirit, but try and focus on the horizon. Things are changing for the better and the OD is just a blip.

As you can tell, I haven't managed to do much of anything positive myself today and have been in a proper grump due to my poor old head, but, I'm determined not to let myself slip into that downwards spiral, so am going to reread my statements a few times, look at some inspiring pictures of how I want my home to be my home WILL be in the not to distant future and re-centre myself for forward progress.

TREE - I ORDER YOU TO DO THE SAME. Focus on what WILL BE - not on how things are at this moment in time. We WILL get there.

Tink - we also went to Wilkos today. We used to go there a lot when we lived up North, but don't have one locally where we are now. Its dh's favourite shop! Bought a doormat for the tent, a single airbed for my nephew to sleep on, several birthday cards (which were absolute bargains) and several other very cheap bits and bobs we didn't know we needed.

Evening all. Had a pretty boring uneventful day. DH was working and the weather was a bit crap so we have just been going stir crazy hanging out round the house. DH wants to go and do an MA next year pT to improve our job prospects abroad and I want to sort the house out a bit so ave been applying for a loan and got turned down...so I checked my credit history with the two main companies and there is nothing wrong with it so am a bit Think it must be down to our overdraft and the fact we always go over it at the end of the month.
Maybe we should start doing the lottery or putting adds in the back of Private Eye?

Moose, hope the weather picks up for your festie next weekend.

Tink, your Ma sounds like a curtain star....does she want to come round and sort ours out?

Tree was laughing at your FB status...the luxury of a book on constipation! I just spent some of our 'fun' money on a new bin... definitely not fun.

DD has been a bit of a PITA today, has reverted back to the terribble twos and been clingy which is unlike her. Maybe she senses something is in the air.

ave been getting very mild aches today, a bit like before AF is due around my ovaries....is this normal? I can't remember and don't want to freak myself out by googling. Am now feeling slightly terrified at the thought of three dc and very excited at the same time.

Moose and Tree I was following your conversation last night and its very sage. I am trying to live in the now and stop worrying and thinking about what I'd like for the future too much (a new kitchen, to move out of london, to be able to afford stuff that I don't really need, countryside etc) I find I get myself too hung up on stuff and then feel guilty because I can't provide it right now...but don't want to consume myself with too much future planning etc so I end up not enjoying the present. Does that make sense or is it a load of waffle? It's hard to let go of unimportant things (my new kitchen!) sometimes I guess .

HKZ, I had achey crampiness early on with all three of mine. I think its normal for most people.

It difficult isn't it trying to live happily in the now and be confident that all will be well in the future. Apparently the key is self belief and trust, two things I am hopeless at, but working on.

When I said to Tree to focus on what will be rather than how things are now, I worded it rather badly. I suppose I meant not to get disheartened by current problems, but try to look forwards and trust that all will be well.

I think you need to keep one eye on the future and allow yourself to have a sort of peaceful feeling/knowing in the pit of your stomach of how you would like things to be, without getting bogged down in too much detail.

When I went for therapy for PND after I had ds2 my therapist told me to go for a walk and spend 5 minutes looking at the ground around my feet as I walked then stop and take a minute to be aware of how I was feeling. Then retrace my steps and walk the same path keeping my face turned upwards towards to the treetops/sky etc, then again, take a moment to be aware of how I was feeling. It was such a simple thing to do, but also such a huge revelation. When I walked looking down, I saw dirt, litter, dog mess, blocked drains and grey tarmac and at the end of it I felt all sort of knotted up, angry about the litter and the dog mess and generally quite angry and depressed. When I walked with my face turned upwards I realised I was walking down a street that was on a hill with beautiful views of rolling fields and Pendle Hill in the distance. There were lots of houses etc in between, but by looking upwards I could see over and beyond them. I also saw lots of birds in flight, a blue sky with clouds floating about and the sun. At the end of it, I felt lighter and refreshed. When I went to my next therapy session and reported back, my lovely therapist said something along the lines of "if you lift your face towards the sun, you will not see the shadows" (which apparently is a Helen Keller quote). OK so its a bit twee, but its also so true and really helped me a lot at the time.

I also like this Abraham Lincoln quote at the moment. Again, its simple and obvious, but it reminds me that the only person that can make me happy is me: "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

That makes a load of sense HKZ. I have a chain of thought that goes like this

Oh that's a nice flower
I'd like to grow that
No point as yard is a mess
But yard is going to be sorted
But until then what's the point
It will have to wait

Flower could be anything. I even do this with food

Hemp. Hemp oil would be great for the girls
I have some, in the cupboard.
They hardly eat anything
Don't even get their 5 a day.
So what's point of using hemp ol.
They won't eat what it's in

Are you planning a retest HKZ? I think aches and pains are very very common around the time AF is due, pregnant or not! I had pariod pains for a good few months of my pregnancies. Bit cheeky really!

Hey Moose, no worries my love. Was tounge in cheek anyway, and would never put any pressure on anyone. We all have plenty on in rl! I'm sorry you have sinus trouble - ouch!

We have a bloody marvellous merion duvet weght sleepng bag from MerinoBabies. You wanna lends for the festi? It's toastie! Another thing would be to get those heat things that start working when you 'crack't them. Handy in a camper.

I want this, this, this, and this

All comes back to money doesn't it.

Made the infamous 5 min choc mug cake tonight. It's a bit of a gem. I mean it doesn't taste like teh best cake in the worl, but it generates a tablespoon, a teaspoon and a mug in washing up. That matters when your dishwasher is bust

HKZ - I need your address. I went to my own bank, in person - which I assume helped with the loan.

Up for work in 10 hours. Gah. Be worth it. .......Think of the patio......

x-posts Moose.

You have me down to a Tree tee. I think I do focus on detail. I see dh as a teacher and all the marvellous things that will bring us, but my brain leaps in and starts wondering how his student status will effect the child tax credits, if the mortgage people would let us go interest only.....

I wonder if it's having a certain kind of brain. Now I'm daft as a brush, can't spell and forget names. I'm not well educated and did ok but nothing special at school. But my IQ used to be quite high, sort of 130's. I think my
brain just leaps into problem solving mode without being asked.

I think you've got something there Tree. I am exactly the same. Dh says I get too bogged down in fine detail and that's why I can never make a final decision on anything. I also spend hours doing what he calls 'fortune-telling' where I churn over and over all the possible outcomes (usually the negative ones) of a situation and end up either deciding its too much trouble or I'm too scared of the 'possible' negative impact.

I am trying to make myself think less about exactly what I want, but to allow myself to sort of 'feel' how I want things to be iyswim. According to what I've been told and read, its also really important to 'ask' or 'let it be known' what you want, as the intent or desire needs to be 'out there'. The asking can be actually vocalising it - as in asking out loud, writing or typing it out or just making it into a conscious clear thought form.

I know it sounds really hippy-trippy-happy-clappy, but I think I really do have to do this if I'm ever going to move forwards.

Best way I can describe it for me, is like when things go all soft focus in a film when people are dreaming about things. You sort of get the feeling/atmosphere of what's going on in the bubble without seeing any of the nitty gritty.

I reckon if I can manage that, I can always fine tune things later on when positive progress has been made.

Gin. Gn use to help me see things in softer focus those were the days.

That makes perfect sense Moose. I find myself a bit and [scared] of actually sayng the things I want outloud. I just tried it. It's really hard!

Off for a shower and to think about why that might be.

Hello, am bookmarking mainly. Had a really busy day and am wiped out now and need a bath before bed so have timelimited my MNing

Read all your posts Moose/Tree, you two can talk for England when you get going! Is so nice to have the thread all full up again.

We went for a long walk today, 4 hours or so and DD walked quite a bit of it. All up and down steep steps, am sure that means I can have hot chocolate later.

HKZ - I had the same with both of my two, think it must be part hormonal and part the start of everything stretching. You've given me flashbacks of the bloating I got early on, was permanently full of wind, so bad I would lie on my elbow to try and wind myself!

Tink - If you have no luck with auctions and it is anything of any value that you are selling like baby equipment I tend to search completed listings to see what the going rate is and then list things as buy it now with immediate payment. It is more expensive than listing things as an auction but you know you will get what they are worth and that they'll be paid for straight away. Anything small/cheap like highstreet/supermarket clothes (rather than Boden and the like), bedding, small toys etc. I find is usually better to sell at NCT sales or on MN board as by the time paid eBay fees and paypal fees you don't really get anything back.

Off to bath and bed. Night all

Am loving the philosophical turn this thread has taken recently, thanks MM and tree. Completely agree, with you too hkz, it is so damn hard to just be happy with what you have - I have such a lovely, blessed life, and yet still I find myself wishing for more.... my Mum's theory is that this is what makes us human rather than just animal, and made us invent the wheel and so on... but I do try to be zen and look around and just be in the moment. OK, this sounds really hippy, but sometimes when I am peeling a never-ending bucketful of potatoes for my MIL and feeling discontented, I concentrate on peeling each potato with utter and complete love (this really does sound hippy!) and it totally works - suddenly I feel happy, just to be in the world .

Whereas if I watch too much brothers & sisters, I feel like I really missed out by not living in California with a never-ending supply of family-made fine wine.

Anyway....

hkz I had lots of cramping when I was pg with N - I just assumed it was af on it's way. I think it's your uterus growing or something. But with the recent mc, it was just quite sudden and intense, very different.

Sad day helping Mum organise funeral - we have found a humanist celebrant, which will be interesting. Then went to the farm to welcome big group of Americans (luckily not big group of big Americans) and helped serve dinner for 22. Home, bath, N to bed, beer, MN.

120 forgot to say, sorry about your shit day... hope a good night sleep made you feel better. Come back to moan in detail.

x-posted with you lenni - your walk pics on fb look lovely, v impressed that you did 4 hr walk and the photos are already up! Sounds like you deserve your bath and def the hot chocolate!

....er, hello. Back online.

Did I miss much???

Been keeping up with most on FB, but moose, hope you and yours are well!

fill me in someone

p.s congrats to HKZ

I still haven't had a chance to read through this thread for days. Just about managing to keep on top of fb with fly by's.

Anyone able to do a round up of news for me whose in the know? As I suspect as I need to go to bed and have a long day tomorrow. It's going to be Monday before I manage to read through everything By then they'll be even more with you chatty lot

I'm getting withdrawal symptoms now, from not hearing what all my much more interesting mumsnet friends are up to

I'll try and properely make time to catch up soon

Lots and lots of smileys sorry....

I missed your crap Frday 120. What happened?

Hellloooooo Pat. I'm crap at filling in detal! miss things out and offend people No news from me at anyrate.

Well done lenni. 4 hours! Wow! Sleep well.

MissJ - must have been a hard day. What a lot you have had thrown at you. Take your time and let yourself feel sad. Enjoy a hard earned cold beer. In fact that sounds blooming lovely!

MissJ- sorry you had a sad day, hope things take an 'up' turn soon. dinner for 22, wow!

Lenni- 4hr walk, good grief I am tired just thinking about it!

Elkie- glad your mum feeling better

Dog- hope move went well and you are enjoying walking to school

books- hope you had a great hols

Stressful day here, mountains of shopping, cooking, cleaning, cooking and DD has 'bad poo's' from out of nowhere. Put her to bed in nappy pants but kind of regretting that I changed her sheets this morning.

Tree and moose- loving all your deserving chat. Think I need a mantra at the moment. So down about work and DD being a massive wench again. It got worse when my mum decided to pop up last weekend, she is just HELL when other people (especially GP's) are around. She is insanely jealous of DS at the moment and I think she is also getting quite nervous about the whole school thing (quite excited, but nervous IYSWIM)

Stressful time with friends and family too, SIL has 12 week scan tomorrow but still very poorly, can't really do much more than lie down, not good when you have a 1 yr old, so my bro is feeling the strain.
My friend from work had har baby on sunday and he is tiny, just over 4lb and in intensive care with infections and all sorts. She was 38 weeks, so he was not that early but she had horrendous illnesses throughout, topped off with pre-eclampsia and an emergency c-section so I guess he just didn't thrive, poor little mite. She is coming home on monday without the baby, so very emotional and weird for her.

Sorry, bit of a depressing post.........................oh, and don't even get me started on the Tory git that has wheedled his way into this constituency (dirty little fingers in lots of nasty little pies is the saying)!

Hi teaandcakes.

I still haven't posted your seat thing sorry for being crap! WOuld it still be of use? Don't want to send you stuff that ends up in your way!

LOL tea,I need a round-up too hope you enjoyed the museums today....I may not have made myself clear about this before but I LOVE THEM [geek].

Tree- good luck to you and your DH with his study, a very worthy profession I think

x-posts Pat. Oh blimey love, ,you have much to occupy and worry you. I think your mantra must be simple 'this time next week this will be easier'. Lots of things will have moved on by then. I really hope the little man will have picked up and romped on by then, and your SIL wll have had a reassuring scan to cheer her. Why is she poorly? Did I miss it?

thanks tree, she has been in hospital twice with hyperemesis and exhaustion. Now on anti-sickness drugs and signed off work for a month.
When I think about the fact I never, ever felt sick once with either of mine I feel sooo guilty!

Oh, and I forgot my sister's relationship has also come crashing down around her ears in the past few weeks......lordy!

I think, 'this time next week.....' is partly true as year 11 bugger off on study leave on thursday and I feel like I can breathe again at work!

Tree - Would like to give seat a try whilst preparing dinner. Yes please

Very sad news about your SIL books Really hope now he's in intensive care with professional help he'll thrive. Your poor SIL as well. Very very sad stuff.

The wonders of iPhoto MissJ, so much easier than the PC. Meant to say thank you for putting me out of my misery with your OH and the election

Pat - lovely to see you on here, sorry things are not great. I will be thinking of your friend's little boy, so sad. Am sure he will start to pick up soon, must be terrible for her to be coming home without him. A friend of mine had hyperemesis (have C&Ped your spelling of that I wouldn't know where to start - Physics you see ) and was in hospital until she was 5 months pregnant, it sounded truly awful, although at the time I was pg with DD and in my warped hormonal state thought it would have been nice to lie down a bit more. Feeling sick really is the pits, I was still vomiting at 18wks with DS, rubbish. Although I only gained 7lbs in the first 7 months as result which was brilliant! God knows how fat I'd be if I didn't get morning sickness!

Tea - I want to come to the museums too!

I'm confusing your sister in law and friend

This is what happens when you're really tired and decide to quickly read a post and reply. Sorry.

Either way it's very sad for your friend.

Time to sign off before I make another mistake. To bed for me

Lol tea. Easy done, I read your post and thought I'd read it wrong.

Will get chair off on Monday, and also your feeder thing HKZ...but I need your address. FB t too me.

Just had dinner...at last. Bed now for work in the morn. DD2 still up and going strong!

Thanks tea and Lenni.

5 months!!! Now, I simply can't mention this to my brother, spoke to him tonight and he seemed close to breaking point. He asked where DH was and I had to admit he was out, at the dogs with his skittles team. He then started moaning on about how it was so unfair that he was stuck looking after a baby all the time and not able to go out, etc, etc.....and then got quite upset. I am sure it will improve soon, she is at least at home and not on a drip so we shall see.

With regards to my friend with the poorly boy, I am going round to see her on monday after work. Any ideas what to take round or even say really??? I have spoken to her briefly on the phone and texted and she sounded like she is putting on a brave face but I know she is gutted about leaving him in the SCBU.

Pat - everything I have ever seen or read tells us to do exactly what you would do in 'normal' circumstances. So cards, flowers, outfit, teddy. Acknowledge him, that he is at the hospital, and ask questions, and then let her talk. People get more upset at the idea the baby is forgotten or not recognised, than they do at talking about how hard it is. Other usefull gifts would be food for the freezer nad phone top ups if she uses them. If they are really there for the long haul then a huge bag of change for parking meters and the snack machine can be an odd gift, but a really usefull one!

Also a 'cheer me up' bag. A nice toilet bag with deo, lip balm, face wipes, toothbrush, cheap perfume - for long sweaty days on the SCBU

Offer to get their camera/mobile pics printed off for them, do laundry, shopping, etc.

FWIW, babies his age, who have been 'knocked off' due to birth or infection or whatever, tend to suddenly turn a corner and romp away. I know he is small but even so, his lungs and organs are mature so in all likelihood once his systems stop fighting the infection he will soar. x