June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Help me - how do I tackle Luke's 5am wakings? Even milk doesn't do the trick now as he drinks it and then just wants to get up anyway or poos and needs to be changed (twice in a row at 5.15am) and then wide awake. It's driving me bonkers. Mark is going to try 4am waking for wake to sleep but I don't think it'll work - I have a feeling he'll fully wake and want to watch Dora. Help!!!!!

Just a quick one whilst the turkey's cooking

Goddess - hurrah I mentioned Christmas before you!! LOL. The battles stage does stop but I can't remember when , but I still have battles now with my older boys, just different battles!I would wait until after your holiday to take the dummy away, it could be very useful when flying.

Amber - I'm sorry I don't have any advice but it must be so wearing every day to be awake at that time. I suppose you've asked for help on the sleep forum?

Amber I'm no help - Fraser's been up at half five most mornings this week. Uggh! The wake-to-sleep might work but Fraser's so much more stubborn than Duncan. Actually I can't complain because DH has been taking Fraser in the mornings because I've been a bit ill...

I worked on wednesday at the place that would be my dream job but I think it might be too much of a career switch - I'm not sure I can learn on my feet fast enough to be useful to them and they don't have time to train me. But maybe something will turn up eventually - and I have my other one-day-a-week contract which I am qualified for. I start that after our holiday in Cornwall with my parents - we leave in 6 days. We're staying near St Austell - any recommendations for things to do?

deb fingers crossed for a buyer - it must be hard being up in the air while you wait...

DGT umm, I'm finding that it gets worse. DS1 had a tantrum before nursery school because his friend peed before him. He's almost four...

sybil oh hugs - that sounds like a nightmare. I hope you're all healthy now!

(waves to everyone else - I know I'm missing people....)

DGT dunno . We were all out today and the main focus of the day from preventing DD1 from screaming. My current strategy with DD1 is to pretend I am a humourless mid-grade civil servant. Maybe one in a passport office. DD2 is much easier (actually, one reason I post about DD1's antics is so I don't sound so smuggy McSmug about DD2). I find distraction works well with DD2, and also picking the battles.

In the restaurant today DD1 pulled up her shirt and started inspecting her nipple. wtf is that all about? I guess it must be me getting my great udders out all the time, but I don't tend to inspect them.

But I'm afraid Deb is right, the meltdowns don't necessarily stop, they are just about different things.

Sybil how are you and your poor children? Is your DH back yet?

Glad you asked, DGT, was wondering the same thing myself...I'm becoming quite lax, and DH was annoyed today when Iestyn insisted on having his lunch by the telly. (Insisted = major meltdown couldn't breathe tantrum.) I gave in... but (a) DH isn't here half the time and I don't like my time with Iestyn spoilt by the tantrums, and (b) when I can reason with Iestyn surely it will be easier? At the moment 'later' and 'afterwards' means nothing, right? (Someone tell me I won't have to get Jo Frost in to fix this.)

Deb how funny that you're having Christmas dinner, because I'm having...mince pies and Christmas pudding! Yes, really! They were in the freezer and I've decided to defrost them and eat them and clear the space. (All part of my grand plan to get a new fridge freezer to go with my new kitchen, pics on facebook, by claiming the freezer is too small (it is) but I'm not being backed up by DH or my Mum and Dad. Hm.)
I have no problem with unseasonality, but my Mum said I mustn't offer my handyman a mince pie because it might lead to him judging me. I pressed for further information and had mutterings about 'out of season', 'out of date', 'disorganised'. But she's happy to help me eat a dozen mince pies.

Sybil hope you're feeling better and the children are too - is your DH around at the moment? (Just adds insult to injury somehow, doesn't it, if you're doing it alone with illness. )

Hi to everyone else!

Our baby monitor broke last night. It's our fifth one. Does anyone else have such bad luck with baby monitors??

Oops, that was me! I've been posting in Style&Beauty, and I don't like using my 'Essie' name anywhere except here because people in RL know me.

We had lunch and dinner in front of the tv yesterday Essie because DH was still away and S normally has some of his worse tantrums around dinner time. I keep waiting for the magic age where I can reason with him. Maybe he's deliberately not learning to speak so he can put off this ominous sounding 'reasoning' from mummy .

DH now home so enjoying having a lazy lie in .

Amber we are in the early morning boat too. Infact it is the exception when we are in the after 6am boat. The last few weeks have been especially bad with P waking between 4.45 and 5.45. Last night though was exceptional. P woke at 3am and really didn't got back to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time after that. DH and I are both feeling very sorry for ourselves this morning. P now asleep, but probably not for very long.

DGT I completely know what you are feeling. If I spend too long thinking about the future I get quite miserable realising that there will be years and years like this. (Can you tell I am sleep deprived?)

I know Spider I think I now understand people's logic for having kids close together to get the baby years out of the way!

Spider also meant to say sympathies in your lack of sleep. Can you take turns to have a snooze this afternoon?

Thanks DGT. We both got a bit of a nap whilst P slept this afternoon. Just hoping that tonight is better.

Christmas dinner was lovely, followed today by turkey sandwiches! Wish I'd had mince pies though - I'm jealous Essie

Sorry to hear about the early wakings Spider, fingers crossed for a better night

Hello to everyone else

Amber - Ry has a quilt and turns 180 degrees and 45 degrees and 360 degrees! It's all fine. No chance of a bed here though either, he'd be out of it in a min. at Mark's grandma!

Sybil - That sounds awful, you poor thing! Hope EVERYONE feels better soon.

Deb - V exciting news about the English couple offer, keeping everything crossed for you.

Essie - Yep, DH is a chimney sweep now! (PNZ wonders what her pre pregnancy self would hv said about even the remotest possibility of living in a small NZ town with a chimney sweep for a husband....). He says he'll do your chimney in August if you still need it done then!

Age checking - A London friend who admittedly is only in her early twenties was age checked the other day for paracetemol!!

KTPie - I like the sound of the 'cross face'.

Neenz - Your weekend sounds lovely!

Spider - Your MIL is funny! I've got a job interview 2m, in a town 13k away. i was wondering out loud about cycling there (eventually, there's no way I'm fit enough ATM) and MIL started telling me about this really obese man who used to walk along NZ hghway one and how they loved seeing him because he was skinnier each time.....!

Neenz- 3/4 young children? You're planning number four already! I am very impressed.

Deb - Xmas dinner with your IL's sounds great. Altho I'm guessing you're the one cooking? We're going to be having a Xmas dinner (hopefully with crackers) for Ry's birthday, as then it will feel more appropriate here, unless I've frozen to death before then....actually I'm sitting here in a t-shirt, it's fine again, but I am still scared of a winter w/o central heating.

Amber- come over whenever...you are always welcome (although DH 'working from home' today FYI)

DG- dummy withdrawal slow. C calls it her 'Ma' and we now have a Ma Box into which she puts it in the morning (or we sneak ot away when she's not looking) and then she gets it out when we go upstairs for naps. She asks for it when she remembers or is crying for some reason but I'm working VERY hard on my deflection skills. I also periodically put something chocolatey in the box so she gets a reward for putting it away. The withdrawal could take a while....

My 4 week old slept all night. WTF????????

Wow purée, that's pretty cool. Hope it continues.

Penguin: LOL at you never thinking you would be married to a sweep in rural NZ. Life can turn some surprises up can't it?

P slept "normally" last night: till 5.05, thank the Lord! Then I managed to get him to lie quietly in his cot till 6 when DH had to get up. However I did this by lieing on the floor next to the cot; holding his hand until he let go it, and then shuffling out flat on my back so he couldn't see me. Mad I know, but it meant he didn't leap to his feet as soon as walked out, which is progress.

LOL at your stealth like departure Spider!

Thanks for the dummy update Puree. I think I might hang on till after our hols at the end of May. S also has a box which he puts his dummy in each morning but lately he's been pretty bad for looking for it when he's upset or if he remembers it's there. DH has been/will be away a lot over the next month too which always upsets him so not a good time to remove it I think. He has dropped it for his nursery nap though so some progress.

Loving that the four week old slept all night Puree - let's hope it continues! I remember the first time S slept through, I woke up with such a fright in the morning and was convinced something must be really wrong.

We had our house valued today. The news was not good . Need to find a VERY creative mortgage advisor to afford the house we have an eye on. I'm not easily beaten though, and some better mortgage products came on the market just today so I haven't given up all hope. Bloody American housing market.

DG- I think you are wise to wait until DH around. It's bloody hard work. Hope you find the mortgage you need.

Whilst I'm bragging, can I just show you all this

Thanks Puree. Love the vid and the counting skills!

Wow Puree!

Just marking my place. and pmsl at Rolf's mid grade civil servant and Spider's stealth withdrawal

I'm sorry, I just need to have a little rant...

DH is being his usual incompetent self, but now I'm really sick of it and I don't know what to do.
This has all grown from the mess he caused about Easter. He whinges all the time that I don't come to London very often, so I made a special effort and had 2 1/2 weeks off for Easter, with the intention of spending all that time in London. (An aside - on that basis, I sold my kitchen doors on e-bay and they were bought by a lovely man in Wokingham who will pay me for bringing them down, which is great because I should have been coming down anyway.)
Original plan - to travel on Thursday. Now DH has a case come in so he's not available to pick us up; it's either me driving all the way to London via Wokingham by myself, or rearrange yet again.
Plus, he hasn't booked time out of the diary, and is now on a 2 day case in Swansea Tuesday and Wednesday next week (2 nights away). And then he's away in Cardiff sitting from Tuesday-Friday the week after Easter. So there's very little point in me coming down at all really: arrive late on Friday, Sat&Sun, then by myself in the house Monday afternoon to Wednesday evening (if I'm lucky), and off again on the Weekend to Wales.
I'm just sick of the fact that he lives his life like a single man, and only has to think about himself; whereas I have to consider me and Iestyn, plus childcare arrangements, my parents etc etc. And he's so arrogant about it and says 'well I'm earning the money' and I'm seriously thinking it might be better for him just to do the whole thing by direct debit because I'm desperately lonely when Iestyn's gone to bed, I work really hard, he's hardly ever here now and we don't have sex.

waves to everyone - I've just been sorting out getting back to work - it's quite the logistical feat since it's self-employed instead of being an employee. I have two contracts though - one for one day a week (the one I was in London for) and one for some ad-hoc work so at least I'm going to pay off the costs of starting up a new company to work under! It'll take me a couple months to actually made any money though and at least a month before I actually make enough to cover my childcare. Oh well. I'm enjoying it and it's good for my self-esteem. I know that's not good and I should be just as proud of the work I do with the boys every day but I do feel like I'm a very good scientist and only an average mother...

Essie, I really feel for you! It sounds like your DH hasn't had to make the whole life change that we make when we become parents and he's not really understanding it. I'd be very upset too - especially when he says he's earning the money - that's only a small (necessary) part of parenting.

I don't know what to suggest though. If it was us, I'd be considering coming with him on his trips and doing some sightseeing stuff with I while he's working. But then maybe that's not a good message to send him, that'll you'll adapt.. I don't know. (DH came with me to Bergen and took care of DS1 a few years back and then we had a couple days holiday together - it was lovely).

I understand on the feeling lonely thing - my DH is away a lot less and we only have the one base, but it is lonely to be home alone every evening. Sending hugs...

Essie - rant away. I think you have good grounds. In your shoes I wouldn't be wanting to travel to London to a mostly empty house, when your family and friends are all in Wales. Also the "I earn all the money" isn't exactly helpful either. It is also irrelevant too. I am now not going to be here next week, so can't meet up, but I have texted Sponge to say that you are around, so do contact her.

Aberdeen - can I just say that I absolutely do not think of you as being an average mother. You always come across as a lovely mum who is very involved with her kids. I am also really impressed at how you are going about creating a solution that enables you to work in a field that clearly gives you much satisfaction. Eventually I will need to take a leaf out of your book.