June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Sod the face creams, I was looking in the mirror the other day and imagining just the tiniest of lifts... My jowls have definitely started to drop which I'm quite traumatised about. I often switch to contact lenses for the summer but in my mind my face looks a fraction younger hidden behind my specs.

Am knackered and should really go to bed but finding it hard to move away from the news...

DGT yes - I just got new contacts after not having any for a few months and I'm scared I look older. I've chopped two inches off my hair though and the neighbour gave it the thumbs up.

DH's ECG apparently is fine - his minimum heart rate was only 39 bpm though and had 34 events where his heart rate was under 50 bpm. Is he too fit? Anyways, if it doesn't change, he should be fine and it's supposed to gradually get better.

good for you essie! grants are really hard to get and they do look so good on academic CVs. I'm only a few months younger than you though and that's the problem - I feel like I look older than my peers!

Hope your DH is ok Abdn.

Sybil that's a shame about the spelling test. My DS2 goes in for careless mistakes that cost him points.

Essie well done on the research grant

I also think I look younger with glasses too. And less tired - I feel that my glasses kind of cover up the eye bags.
But lol at the mini lift. I do the same thing in the mirror with my boobs - I think they may have drooped a bit. But they're still a couple of cup sizes bigger than before bfing! Although I always think that the hang is more important than volume. (True of everything - curtains, hair, body fat, boobs...!)
Abdn I think you're more than a few months younger than me - I'm 34, since January.

Feeling really good about stuff at the moment. Being in an odd department for my subject, I was feeling like a failure for not getting research grants. (Colleagues get them from the government and administration etc, being lawyers.) But now I'm getting lots of congratulatory e-mails from colleagues in Arts, and it's made me realise that I've done quite well, and I wasn't a total failure before IYKWIM, just measuring myself against a different area. Anyhow, I'm all excited about doing the work. Ironically, I sent in an application for a job at UCL hours before I heard; now I don't want to move. But I'll wait and see if I'm shortlisted (probably won't be).

Deb, I hope it was the police that were armed and not the children!

Smiling at all the old/wrinkly/weight talk - and thank you Essie . Don't mind my face too much actually, it's my body that's always let me down! Think I may have mentioned before that I have a postcard that says "Nice face God, but the fat arse has got to go"! That's me .

As for age - knocking on the door of 38 here. Good excuse for a great party in a couple of years - bring it on! (And the Govt have added on another bank holiday to my 40th birthday weekend too in honour of how special I am ).

I'm interested in hearing what your grant is to be spent on Essie .

I see 5gomad quite a bit on the boards - shame she left us .

Oh and A is still sleeping through, and M did 10pm til 4am last night .

Hello

Essie definitely agree with you on the specs hiding your age thing. Also the advantage of when you are putting cream on in the mirror is you take your glasses off, so everything looks a little blury. I am always incredibly disturbed by what my skin looks like close up. Ignorance is bliss. Well done on the research grant, nice to hear you sounding so much happier.

Fear not Deb and Essie. I have no intention of buying denim hot pants. My body is tolerable as long as it is fully clothed. I don't really do long shorts these days as my inner thighs are too wobbly.

DGT I would never actually do it, but a boob job is looking appealing all of a sudden. Mine are smaller than before I had P and droopy too. I was only a 36A to start with. They are filling up a bit now I am pregnant, but now I know it won't last I know the long term prospects aren't too hopeful for a marvellous cleavage

Amazing about the sleep Eddie. He must have got
vibes off you that you couldn't take much more. Are you feeling any better for it?

I am feeling popular today as somene from
playgroup that I have been going to for over a year has asked me over for a playdate! I feel a bit touched.

Quick hello, feeling a bit glum as I got a migraine yesterday, luckily it didn't get too bad until after the boys went to bed. I thought DH was going to have to take the day off today but I woke up feeling OK, bit fragile but OK. I'm fairly sure it is from the mini pill the doctor talked me into trying. So now we are back at square one with contraception, no idea what we are going to do.

My boobs have gone a bit droopy too, glad to hear it isn't just me.
Sounds like I need to get glasses to make myself look young!

Essie - well done on the research grant!

Abdn - they wouldn't let one of DH's cycling friends out of hospital once because his heart rate was too low, it took him ages to convince them that it was normal for him.

Big news here is J is teething! 2 molars! So he will have a grand total of 4 teeth once they are through.

Ah - the molars are the good ones so he'll probably start wanting extra crunchy things soon! Luke's canines are coming which is why I am hoping he has suddenly started biting. Maybe he'll stop once the've broken the surface.

On that note, I have been pulled up by the nursery for Luke hitting the other kids. Apparently he has been picking on the same ones. He is a full on bully!! Not sure what to do - Luke is a nightmare for hitting me and Mark and we always say no very hard and tell him he's naughty etc. Sometimes he even gets a smack on the wrist but he laughs and thinks it's a joke. Ooh he's going to be a monster. Poor lamb fell off a climbing frame yesterday and has a golf ball sized lump above his eye and a big gash on his arm.

Essie - I must say I have always liked you! . I am lucky that for a 37 year old I don't actually have that many wrinkles all things considering (my fairly wild 20s!). I do have brown pigment on my cheeks though from taking the pill which are awful and hence the microdermabrasion facials. I am all for a bit of surgery if you fancy it. I have always said that once I have a second child (please God!) I am having a tummy tuck! My boobs are huge and have never gone down from what they were (a 36D) - now a 36E although probably bigger but hideous bras in those sizes.

Oh and Essie - really happy that things are working out for you at work and you are happy again!

Eddie - great news on the sleep! Luke is managing it now unti 5.45-6ish and it makes me feel so much better.

Aberdeen glad to hear the ECG was normal.

Spider - oh go on get the hotpants!!!

essie I'm 34 in December - okay, 11 months.

Fraser and DS1 aren't sleeping through at the moment - DS1 with nightmares (because grandpa is visiting and there's too much excitement) and fraser because he's a stubborn ass. We got up with him in the night when he was sick last week and he's been rubbish since then. Last night at 4am he was crying and when I went in he said "don't go mummy! sing me a song". I was not impressed...

spider I'm like you in the chest department - but now that they're droopier I've gone up a cup size.

amber can you try time outs with Luke? That works with Fraser when he's being monstrous. I've put him in his cot and walked away but now that he can climb out, I'm just leaving him on the floor in his room. This is a stubborn frustrating age though...

ha ha!! Just got told off for Mark's conduct in the nusery carpark!

A time out in the cot might work Aberdeen as Luke wold never stay sitting on a stair or anything and he would know the cot was a punishment

Hello! Not posted since end of last week, just not had a chance but have been reading.

We had a great party for the Dts on Saturday, we were very lucky with the weather so all the kids played in the garden and the parents got to relax. It's very handy that we have two of everything as all the kids always had something to play with and they were all very well behaved. We had 25 kids there, mostly 2yos!

They got so many gifts I have had to have a big sort-out and put baby-ish ones they don't play with anymore to one side for my sis and next baby. I managed to get a plancity garage on ebay second hand for £28 delivered so really happy about that cos the new one was £51. Still waiting for it to be delivered - i think they are going to love it.

My parents flew back from an 8wk trip to oz/NZ this morning and it was great to see them. They are staying with us for a while now cos their house is being renovated. They were hoping it would be habitable by now but the builders are a bit behind schedule. I really enjoy having them stay and the DTs have kind of forgotten them so some time together will be good.

Skinny jeans in pregnancy - no! Hotpants same

A friend of mine had a stillbirth at 38wks cos of slapped cheek .

Amber, good luck with the 2ww. What was the reason you went for IUI this time?

Sybil I can imagine how annoyed your DS is over the spelling! That's the sort of thing I would have done, I rush things too much. I heard a fascinating discussion on FiveLive last week which said there was a study in America where two groups of kids were given a puzzle to do. Afterwards, one group were praised for their talent, the other for their effort. Then the groups were given a harder puzzle to do. The 'talented' group were disinterested and didn't want to do it (they didn't want to get it wrong and lose the 'talented' tag), but the 'effort' group tried really hard and did the puzzle much better. They repeated the study and got the same results all over the US. I think that is really amazing - and I would have thought the 'talented' group would do better because they'd be more confident. So the author on the show said always praise your kids for effort not talent and they will always be motivated to try hard.

Eddie, great news about the sleep - and you too Amber.

Spider, that's lovely about the playdate. I have been much happier since getting to know a few other mums really well.

ktpie - 4 teeth . Bless!

x-posted there, I second putting him in his cot Amber. I do that with T sometimes (or just put him in his room with the baby gate shut). Always give a warning first (eg 'No hitting, that hurts, we do not hit - if you do that again you will go in your room/cot'), then if he does it again put him straight in his room/cot - just for two minutes (same as his age).

Surely nursery should be disciplining him when he is there though? You can hardly stop him from hitting when you are not even there! What do they do when he does it?

neenz at 38 weeks? how heartbreaking. I've heard it's more likely before 20 weeks, and I hope so as the next door neighbour is 36 weeks and was at church with us so will have been exposed too. (Yes we're that sort of neighbours that we go to church together - I think I live in a lovely 1950s timewarp!)

Yeah it was awful - apparently most people have some immunity to it tho... she said there was something about her particularly that meant she was more prone to catching it and for it to cause complications . It terrifies me to think of sb and things like that but you just have to have faith that everything will be OK I suppose cos most of the time it is.

neenz they sit him away from the other children for a time out and tell him what he's done wrong. He'd just never do that with me - he'd be off in seconds laughing. It seems to have calmed down thankfully now but I am definitely going to do the cot thing.

Glad to hear you had an ace party for the twins. Still undecided myself as I really don't know many other kiddies!

That's really interesting about the US thing. I think if someone said I was talented I would more likely try harder but maybe in practice I wouldn't.

How awful about the slapped cheek. I hope your friend is OK Aberdeen, I'm sure she will be.

Abdn - isn't the slapped cheek only a problem if a pregnant woman is exposed to it early on in pregnancy? If so then she should be OK.Love the sound of your 50's timewarp, sounds like the Truman show, you're sure there are no cameras around?

Amber - consistency is the most important thing with Luke.So you and Mark should always react in the same way and discipline Luke in the same way. With Stefan at this age it was throwing things , and I used to put him in his room like Neenz does with T.Also try to follow through with any threats you make! Why were you told off about Marks conduct?

Neenz - party sounds lovely, any photos yet? I love looking at people's photos on FB, I'm so nosy!!

Eddie - yes the police were armed not the children!!lol

Spider, so pleased about your playdate.

Not got anything to say, but marking my place - kitchen work is ongoing.... new kitchen in, today the old kitchen got ripped out!

Neenz that study is discussed in a book called Nurtureshock. It's a really interesting book. One of the chapters is about the "lost hour" of sleep, and they suggest that has more to do with obesity than being a couch-potato.

DS1 is away on a school trip and we all miss him. It's horrid without him around. His godmother is coming to stay at the weekend and she phoned last night to say she'll watch the cup final with him as she knows he'll be really excited about it. What a lovely godmother!

Lovely about your playdate Spider

Fingers crossed about the offer Deb.

Thea isn't vomiting any more but she still has diarrhea and is windy, and her tummy is cramping up (I think - it's like watching someone in labour when in happens. V upsetting for her). Other people in the house have had or have got upset tummies as well so I don't know what I can do other than make sure she's hydrated and stand over the others whilst they wash their hands.

Oh poor Thea Rolf. Sounds like it's on the way out and you are doing everything to make sure the others don't catch it. Bless you missing DS1 - has he gone somewhere exciting? I know schools these days don't do trips like when I was a child. We went camping in the New Forest, these days it's disneyland and skiing!

Biscuits - a new kitchen is the best thing ever especially deciding where all the bits go and reorganising. Also a great way to declutter. Hope it all goes well.

Deb - Mark was 'abusive' to a woman in the car park when instead of driving all the way to the front of the carpark she went behind him and blocked him in (so she wouldn't get blocked in by any other subsequent cars). It happens a lot as there are very busy times and it's only a small carpark. Mark told her off for it and apparently the woman went in almost in tears (says the manager). What a wuss. Also he's supposed to have beeped his horn (which is probably true).

Neenz- there was a programme on TV a couple of years ago about education that showed a study that came to the same conclusion about telling kids they were clever.

Amber - that is the sort of thing my DH does all the time. He has no patience with bad drivers, or people dawdling in shops, in fact anyone who gets in his way. It can be very embarrassing.

Rolf - poor Thea, hope she gets better soon.

We are having similar issues with discipline. If I tell him not to do something he does a naughty grin and does it even more.

Deb - any news on the offer yet? Or are you getting fed up of people asking

We've been to Sure Start this morning, we went last week and had a good time, this time it was a lot busier and J didn't want to take part in anything. I find it really hard work at that kind of thing with a grumpy toddler and a baby, we ended up leaving early.

Amber my dh would definitely do that. We laughing joke about how he is turning into a 'grumpty old git', but actually it's true! He would pip in a second if someone blocked him in, and he's always the person chuntering at a 'ten items or less' checkout if someone has got more items. He really hates it if there are lanes closed on the motorway and people carry on driving down it and then expect to be let in when they get to the closed off bit. He always drives about 5cms away from the bumper of the car in front and refuses to budge!

We had to put J in a time out yesterday as he whacked ds1 with a maraca. We sat him on his own in the corner of the room and made a huge fuss of ds1. Within a minute he had crept back to him and gave him a huge cuddle and kiss to say sorry.

Ooh, I laughed at Amber's description of Mark, and Sybil you've just described me! Especially that bit about people expecting to be let in: it's an issue all the time on the bridge onto the island where it goes down from 2 lanes to 1. I often 'block' by keeping too far out for people to be able to get past me, and then they get road rage. I find it funny.

Amber I must say I agreed with Neenz and thought, well, if Luke is hitting other children at nursery they should deal with it because you're not there.

We're not doing time outs here yet, but the big battle at the moment is getting Iestyn to eat in his highchair, and not in front of the telly. It's really problematic, and I started a thread on it but the thread got weird and a woman had a go because I'd said I'm a single parent much of the time. (Apparently it's The Law, and I'm not allowed to say that because I'm insulting to all single parents. But don't get me started on that - women coping alone with husbands/partners who work away are totally unrecognised, plus there are people whose husbands/partners work massively long hours and are all alone.) Anyways, the strategy is to sit tight and make him stay at the table, but if he's going to watch tv, then no food. It's scary though. Didn't do too badly last night.

Neenz my mum always says you should never tell a child 'oh you're so clever' when they've done well, but 'you've worked so hard, well done' etc. I can't remember (if I even ever knew) the term for that.

Had such a bad night last night - poor Iestyn woke at 3am and we ignored him, then DH went in and he was wet through. (No idea why; not happened for months and months.) We changed him and Iestyn was really sweet saying 'Iestyn nappy, Iestyn do pee pee'. Then he wouldn't go back to sleep which was not so sweet.

So much stuff to remember, my head hurts!

I've read that NurtureShock book and the stuff on education is fascinating - two things stuck out, one was what you mentioned Neenz about praising effort not achievement (very interesting theory, and as someone who was always told she was bright all the way through school I think the theory makes perfect sense) and secondly that children are selected as 'gifted' far too young (four in America ) and this means that some very bright kids get missed and some who peak early get pushed too hard.

I would recommend it as a good read for anyone interested in that kind of thing .

AH, bless Fraser asking you to sing him a song - the benefits of having a non verbal child are that I have no idea what A wants in the middle of the night so he can't tug my heart strings quite so effectively!

Essie, I'm the same with the driving thing! Can't be so bloody smug about my driving with recent events though .

I've noticed that thing on MN about being slapped down if you mention you cope alone alot but you're not actually a single mother. But then there are a lot of weird people on here - I mooch around the other threads sometimes and there some really bullying women on here, and then when someone complains they're bullying they all jump on them and tell them to f**k off, kind of proving the point!

And my god there are some attention seekers on here - people who can't breathe without checking with their MN buddies that it's ok .

Tis a weird place sometimes!

Oh, btw, M's weaning is going really well, he's now . . . . . . drum roll . . . . on the 2nd centile!

Yay Eddie - he's passed Iestyn who is still in the minus numbers.
Also agree on the bullies etc, and the coping alone. I'll admit to stirring a bit on the other thread - I was just in a grump really - but I was told off good and proper. And couldn't really say some of the things I wanted to say, about clubs and choosyness and you're in the gang, you're not in the gang etc... But I'd better keep shtum before I start annoying people on here too!

Oh, it is sooooo cliquey on MN - I've posted on threads before where I have just been completely ignored cos it's all the regulars and no one else is allowed . It often reminds me of the playground - and not in a good way .

It's much nicer being in our own little clique here!