June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Hi everyone, thanks for making me join in again Spider!! I keep lurking and then something happens and I don't get chance to post.We had a full house last week and some guests were also friends so we socialised with them a bit (3 older ladies who Ethan loved and was calling all of them Grandma by the end of the week - better not tell MIL)They babysat him yesterday morning so Nigel and I could go skiing for a couple of hours which was lovely. Got current guests in until Tuesday then 12 policemen arrive for bed and breakfast -
No response about the swimsuit, I can't decide between a normal UV suit with a Konfidence vest thing on top or a float suit.

Poppy - Sorry to hear your news, hope you can put it to the back of your mind whilst you're away on holiday and fingers crossed that E copes OK in the creche whilst you ski - where are you going? Only children can be very well adjusted, confident people - just look at me!

Amber - Habitat sounds good fun!

Abdn - how scary about the blinds. I bet they're fixed now aren't they?

Hi to everyone else, how are the babies getting on Sponge, Ktpie and Puree?

Very jealous of all the talking toddlers, Ethan will be a late talker like his brothers but OMG you wouldn't think there'd been any problem now!!Off skiing with my 2 big boys tomorrow then home to iron in the afternoon, what's everyone else up to?

Deb, have you done a search on MN for previous threads. I remember looking up some old threads about ambands which I'm sure talked about float suits etc.

Hi everyone. Not caught up properly, but just with this thread.

Amber - I know I'm late but I skimmed enough of the last thread and FB to hear about your 1st IVF attempt. I am so sorry. I seem to recall reading 1 attempt only has a 30% chance but 2 attempts has a 70% chance. I'm sure Sponge, Neenz et al know more than me, but got my fingers crossed for next time anyway.

Puree - Impressed that you are posting with a NB! Puts me to shame.

Abdn - the blinds cord sounds terrifying. However I am ashamed to admit that I would also be gutted that my neighbour had spotted it too. However as I reduce my meds (nearly off, hurrah) I have noticed my paranoia of being judged by other people is coming back so that may just be me. Good news is that the paranoia means my house is very, very clean!

Still hardly any talking here either, so jealous of you all! Although he definitely has no problem making himself understood! Essie - I would love to hear your neighbours suggestion for slow/late talkers too.

Debs - We have the konfidence body thing and arm bands but haven't actually used either yet so not sure I'm much help! I would strongly recommend the UV suits though. It means Ry can stay in cold water much longer and I can be less paranoid about sunburn. They look so cute too. So I would suggest UV suit and konfidence vest. Then if he hates the vest it doesn't matter, if he hates the float suit, you're bu99ered!

Teenage neighbours had a very late party last night, so early night for me! (It's 9.45pm here).

just marking my place till I can read you all properly.

x

Back again

Abdn, the blinds thing sounds so scary. Is it fixed now? Why are small children obsessed with putting things round their necks though? We went to Wimbledon Common yday and I thought of Fraser and Duncan and your forest school.

Poppy, I'm sorry about your news. It's good that you're having therapy. I'm still bfing DD partly because she's my last baby and I want to hang on to the baby stage so I know what you mean. But late pregnancy and newbornship are tough in my rapidly dimming memory.

Amber, sorry about your car. What is it? Re taking nursery kids out, I think they all go in prams and they are watched carefully.

I have been feeling terible about that poor baby in Chiswick. He was out with his nanny and a lampost fell on him. He died. It brought it home that it's all luck though - you can't control everything.

Debs, DS had the Konfidence thing and it was great. But we never weaned him off it altogether.

Biscuits, very impressed with the hedge chat. Also [wry smile] as I live in the suburbs too and it's the only thing that's different from house to house.

Essie, hellooo. WOuld be fascinated to hear about encouraging late talkers. It's definitely confidence with Dorothy as she understands a lot. DS was a bit of a Luke, but Dorothy is much more reluctant. We've had a few two-word sentences but she's not taking off and flying in the way DS did. I guess they're all different. The worst thing you can do is draw attention to it, I think.

STarted this thread after an interesting dinner party last night. What do you guys think - specially those with older children?

OK question today is - what about the littlelife toddler rucksack with the reins - worth the money?

I haven't seen those rucksack reins Debs. I have a mini-rein which just tie around the kids' wrists and round mine - only good for short trips eg getting from car park into doctor's! But very esay to just slip on, whereas reins are a bit more cumbersome I suppose. I have nothing against reins at all but I think I'd rather they were strapped in the pram until they were old enough to know not run off (also I like to walk fast and don't want toddler slowing me down!)

I was thinking of not getting a new pram but because of above I have seen this on ebay t3jogger which is currently at a good price for second-hand (over £500 new and quite rare to find second hand). It is also for sale quite nearby so I could go pick it up. I think it is a sign that I should buy it! Should get most of the money back when I sell it on anyway.

The Multimac man came yesterday to show us the 4-in-1 car seat. It looks very good, easy to put the kids in, infant carrier was quite heavy but not too bad and I think when they all get to about 9/10/11 it might be a squish but it certainly is a good solution for the next 5-7 years or so. Our car will be 10/12yrs old then so probably time for a change anyway. It is £1650 tho but have negotiated 50% off if I can get an article in the paper about it. So we are getting it, probably even if we have to pay full price. And with the monet we save on not buying a new car we are going to get our en suite done (the last room in the house that has not been decorated since we moved in 8yrs ago!)

Abdn, cords thing sounds scary, but it probably would have unwrapped itself if he had fallen etc.. ? Gutted that the neighbour had to ring to tell you - but these things happen. I do have a bit of a phobia about cords and also plastic bags and try to keep an eye on them but sometimes it is impossible and you have to trust your kids somewhat to just be sensible (not 2yos but older kids!). What are the safety catches for the cords? I haven't seen them.

Poppy, sorry you are feeling down. Are there any other procedures you can try short of ivf, eg iui? I can understand how devastated you feel to think you might not have another child, and it's so hard when other people you know are having more .

UDC I thought the same thing about the boy in Chiswick - what dreadful bad luck, I mean how often do lampposts fal over and what odds on there being a baby underneath when it does .

Amber, I can understand the worrying about park trips, I think it is just a lack of control cos you're not there, but when I see the kids from nursery out on walks etc from out local nursery there are always lots of staff and it is all perfectly safe. I don't think you need to worry altho I understand why!

We have quite few two-word phrases like 'big hug' but mostly things they copy directly from things we say. There's only one where T has put the two together himself, he says 'put on' when he wants his bib on.

UDC, I agree with you, I don't believe in smacking and I think it is more to do with the parent losing control than actually teaching the child anything. My sis is a primary teacher and always says she controls 30 kids without smacking them so can certainly control her own!

But I would be more annoyed at that woman thinking she had any place telling you how to parent your kids, whatever her advice! Esp someone with no kids of her own, was she drinking, obviously that makes people behaviour in a silly way sometimes YANBU to be annoyed at her, it is not her place to tell you what to do to your own kids, esp as she has no idea whether your kids are perfectly well behaved anyway.

Re smacking I was quite shocked on FB actually yesterday when a friend I know (from church) posted a status about how angry she was that another mother hadn't disciplined her child when she sat on her kid and pulled her hair. The other mum apparently said 'oh but she has been so good today and she is only 17m old'. Well I agree with my friend that that is not a very good excuse for not pulling her away and at least saying a firm 'No, that is naughty behaviour!' etc, but my friend said if it had been her child who had attacked the other girl she would have 'given her a wallop and forced her say sorry through the tears'. Her DD is only about 18mo! I thought 'surely you wouldn't really give her a wallop!' I obviously didn't say that tho! I did say I thought 17m was too young to say/understand sorry and she said she makes her daughter say sorry, and now she says it as soon as she does anything 'naughty', before she even gets told off!

It made me think though - I don't make T and E say sorry yet because I don't think they understand what the word means, and I think the sentiment is more important than knowing it is 'the thing to say'. Obviously it is something I want them to learn eventually, that if you hurt another child/do something bad you should say sorry, but it has not occurred to me to introduce it yet. Have you? I just give them a stern telling off if they bite/push/steal toys off each other (well, it is T mainly ) - I can tell they understand that.

Deb we have had that rucksack since Xmas and find it really useful, mostly for going from the carpark to the leisure centre as I can hook the strap over my wrist and still have two hands to dig in my bag to buy tickets etc. The bag itself is just big enough for crèche: I can get a spare nappy a few wipes and a snack in there. A beaker is a bit of a squeeze. P
loves the bag and when he finds it around the house likes to put it on. My friend's child same age loved it until she realised there was a reins element and then was most unimpressed. She still uses it as a bag for the crèche though. Brilliant in the aiport too.

deb we have one of those too,it's a bee one. Lottie loves her Bummelbee (as she calls it), there's also a top handle which you can grab for more control if necessary! We're also currently looking for a new swim thing, as we go to Cyprus in 4 weeks (for another wedding)

rolf not eaten many biscuits, thanks for asking! but chocolate is my downfall - perhaps that'll be my next name!

we were away at (ANOTHER!) wedding this weekend, DH decided that we should take cocktail sausages for emergency snack for during the ceremony. Mistake. C decided during the vows to stage whisper "more sausage Mummy" then, as i tried to shush her with said sausage continued to stage whisper "dank ooo mumm, dank ooo" luckily we were sitting near the back and only the friends we were sitting with heard her, wedding party were oblivious but enjoyed the story later on!

We also need to work on sharing toys, as when our friends' 15 month old started to head towards the bag of toys that C had with her, she carefully picked it up, put it behind herself, then firmly sat down on top of the bag until Jessica backed off!

Debs- we have a Ladybird which C would wear to sleep if she could. I tried the Tommee Tippee reins first but she hated them. I have purchased a Konfidence jacket for our summer break though yet to use,...

thanks all- spd slowly getting better. I'm yet to be up to long walks or driving but can now pick up CJ and carry her short distances if needed. Down to spd belt, so going to sell crutches and sticks!!

Sorry - that's probably a very boring update. I send my love to you all. I do read though may not comment on everything.....typing with one hand trickier than it looks.

DH went to London this morning, taking with him my last £10 from my purse, and all my bank cards (unintentionally). So I have 50p until he gets back late tomorrow.

rolf there are no words for those kind of situations. [hands rolf a virtual tenner]

Deb S has the baby bush backpack in green. He loves it. It has a long strap as well as a parent handle. We are trying to be a bit more pro-active in encouraging him to walk outside (he loves walking outside but we go so many places in the car) so definitely worth the money. S gets a bit upset if he knows I'm holding the strap but usually as long as I stand/walk behind him he doesn't notice . He usually keeps cars and a mini board book library in his so if we're in a cafe or something he has some toys on hand.

Rolf you're remarkably calm re: being down to your last 50p.

Abdn meant to say earlier - very scary re the blind cords. It's reminded me that we have one in S's room that still needs the safety catch put up It is tied up out of the way, but that's not good enough. Neenz not all blind cords will roll out or split if a child is caught in them. There was a very tragic case here in Scotland I think. The safety catch on ours is a thing that attaches to the wall that you wrap the cord around out of reach when the blind is up - not sure if that's what Abdn was referring to too.

Not much I can do about it, innit...

T has one of those backpacks. Tinylife, I think? It's a ladybird. We have spells of using it, but recently she has been walking a lot - like a mile and she is generally very good about staying near me. But last week she suddenly realised how much fun it can be to run away so I think the backpack may come out a bit more often.

T and DD1 have become a terrible pair. It's so sweet. They giggle together, and pull faces and T follows DD1 around the place.

Biscuits that's lovely about C at the wedding (you go to weddings all the time!). I'm impressed at her super-advanced speech.

rolf we do things like that all the time - can you borrow from one of the kids piggybanks? I've been known to do that...

We have one of those backpacks but I never use the reins - my kids respond badly to them . Actually, Fraser's pretty good on staying nearby when we walk. He's happy to run after DS1 and there's not much traffic here so I don't have to worry too much about him getting ten feet behind or ahead of me.

Our blinds have had the safety thingies on them since DH got home on Friday night - it was the first thing we did. They are roller blinds so it's a attachment which holds the cord tight against the wall so that the kids couldn't get their heads in. Our roman blinds already have the little tie thingies so you can tie the blind cords up high out of reach.

As for feeling like a crap mum - we get along very well with the neighbours who spotted it and I've caught their daughter running across the road so maybe we're just watching out for each other. It's that kind of danger - probably fine but devastating if it happens.

Late talkers - I'm rather leery of the idea of assuming that the LOs not talking yet are in need of encouragement/intervention etc. DS1 was a 'late' talker and he's fine now. If I'd rushed into interventions etc though his personality would see him turn off talking altogether. I also think we need to be careful on this thread not to compare/boast about the kids too much too - they will all develop very differently and will be working on different skills, some of which are more visible than others. I don't want anyone to feel bad/concerned for no reason.

And I'm saying this because in this case it's not me who's could be worried or offended, Fraser is way ahead of where his brother was at this age. But the first time around I would end up feeling sick when friends talked so much about their kids' verbal skills - I worried that there was something wrong with DS1 and spent way too much time online looking at speech therapists etc. Everyone's different ...

The boys have hidden their piggy banks as they got so sick of DH and me raiding them

Abdn good post about different rates of development. T isn't doing most of the things that other people on this thread post about. After all the worries with DD1 I've consciously stepped back from worrying about things like that. If your child is healthy, happy and progressing, then at this age all is well, as far as I'm concerned.

UDC / Abdn - Didn't think about it until UDC's post, but Ry is obsessed with putting stuff round his neck too, ropes (from tent), camera straps, even socks!

I'm starting to learn to drive too. Gotta pass theory test first though.

Deb - Toddler backpack with reins absolutely fantastic! I recommend them 100%.

Neenz - I agree there is little point in a child saying sorry if they don't understand. Then again, sorry isn't in Ry limited vocab anyway! I do make sure that I say sorry to Ryder though hopefully leading by example.

That lampost story is terrible. I am having a hard time with the Jamie Bulger killer story ATM. It is so different now I have a child. (I used to hate it so much when parents said that when I was childfree, it sounds really patronizing).

Biscuits - Ry keeps hiding toys when his 14 month old cousin comes round.

Rolf - Don't know what to say!!! LOL at kids hiding piggy banks.

Abdn - Your post made me realise that I have recently got a bit worried about Ry not speaking and that I'm being silly. Thank you!

Sorry Poppy, meant to say y-day, thank you for starting the new thread.

I can beat that rolf (amazing as it may seem). When I was staying in his house in London, DH went to Manchester with my purse and my keys.
Not only was I a prisoner, there was no food in the house!!

essie and rolf I did take the mail key (the only key to our mailbox when we lived in a flat in Vancouver) to the Arctic with me for three weeks. DH didn't have a hope of getting at his mail until I came back....

p.s. glad no one's upset with me about my post...

OK, a proper responsey post now (having thrown down the gauntlet on disastrous DH behaviour, I think!)

I thought it was quite interesting that several of you asked about late talkers! Because I had asked my neighbour (she's on the Bangor website, the only Enlli there - expert on bilingualism and acquisition of language, phd from psychology). So, I had asked her.
Iestyn - bang on average for a bilingual child - likely to be later talking anyway.
I asked when I should be worried about acquisition - she said when he's 4, not talking, and not responding sensibly to questions etc.
So nobody on here has a child who would count as a late talker - they're too young! And the other thing she said was that it makes no difference whatsoever when a child learns to speak: most of them will learn by the time they start school. The difference is that some will be shy, some will be quiet, some will be chatterboxes.
From what I read on G&T here, the big sign for G&T is doing jigsaws upside down.

Also, Abdn has an excellent and levelheaded comment.
'we need to be careful on this thread not to compare/boast about the kids too much too - they will all develop very differently and will be working on different skills, some of which are more visible than others. I don't want anyone to feel bad/concerned for no reason.'
Everyone develops differently (this is from my Mum, v. experienced in early years development and a primary school teacher) and when you're doing a-levels (or even when you're 11) nobody will guess that you didn't utter your first word until you were 3, that you walked at 9 months, and that you potty trained exceptionally late and still had a dummy at 7.

Anyhow, I'm enjoying my morning (after finishing lecturing, obv) looking at oscars dresses! I'm really pleased that Carey Mulligan has short hair - there's too much long hair everywhere these days.

Not upset and you said it well.

It was a great post ABDN. J is not a big talker, but ds1 was verbally very challenged so I think he is ahead of him. On the other hand, ds1 Could point to all his colours/shapes on request at this age and J no where near that. It will all even out. One of my friends didn't talk at all until she was three and now she can speak four languages fluently.

J is a lot more phsyically able. And, this morning he learnt to use his arm as a trunk and make an elephant noise. So much more fun than learning to say sorry!