DEC 08 - Welcome to the house of ill - We're riding a poonami

[MomOrMum]

This was the only thing I could remember some saying should be the next title!

Ceiling rose - vv funny Reminds me of my youngest nephew - both nephews advanced verbally as babies, but obviously now just the same as any other kid their age which goes to show that they all level out in the end - when my Mum and her DP were looking after him when he was 18 months and he would not get into the car and had a full on tantrum. In exasperation and quite rhetorically, my Mum said "Why are you DOING this, Mathew?" and he said "Your car is too noisy!" She nearly fell over.

X-posted with you Daisy - I think that all sounds amazingly positive given that it is all so recent. I think the trip away is a brilliant idea.

Urbane has been AWOL since the Brits (Turnip, did you know that she used to be Lal)

Right, no more MNing for me today, I need to work!

DH is at the job centre. He is trying to get some money out of them. Its been 3 and a half weeks since he first went and they still haven't sorted out his bloody jobseekers. He is now on their emergancy list as they have a deadline of 2 weeks and they are nearly 2 weeks over their deadline.

We had a chat last night and we've decided(money permitting) that we're going to start doing things apart. Like he wants to go off mountain biking and I want to go and mooch around museums and castles. So hopefully in the next couple of months I'm going to have a day out in London so I can go to a museum of gallery. I went to the British Museum with college but didn't get to really look round so hoping to go there first.

It's nice to hear from everyone again.

Daisy I'm so pleased things are looking up for you now. The holiday sounds lovely. I can't wait for ours in April.

Kayz that sounds like an excellent idea. If you're heading to the national/portrait gallery I work nearby and might be able to manage a coffee! Depending on when you come up of course. Sorry the job centre are being so crap.

Daisy: good to hear from you. Hol sounds lovely. I went to a similar place on a hen weekend and it was great. Your DH is doing so well and so are you. Btw I never ever iron. Apart from the odd shirt for special occasions.

Well I just had a shower to make myself feel better and wake up a bit and have now sadly put aside the first pair of pants (trousers) that officially don't fit my fat preggo arse and in one really! So happy to be having another lo but boy do I hate being pregnant! I am breaking out everywhere and my thighs and arse have doubled in the last week! For a wonderful reason though
Right I have had a toasty and i'm still hungry. I shall be making healthy things on Ryvita now.
Daisy you are funny [crotch-gate]

Wow to ceiling rose sentences brilliant!

Anyone have any comment on the nappy changing drama? have just had another painful struggle with the boy

Gosh you lot don't half natter!

quickly - Daisy am so pleased your DH seems to be dealing with things better now. Hi turnip and verso!

loving the stories about chatty babies, dd still just has her one word for everything.

will try to catch up over the weekend, hope you all have a lovely Friday and great weekends

Photoshoot done and it wasn't half as bad as I thought. Amazingly the FC jeans were OK (thanks to the magic of Spanx). They are skinny until the calf and then have a slight flare. The DDs were perfect models and wrestled each other most adorably for the cameras. I would never have chosen to have a studio session but as MiL bought it I gave it a go and am now quite looking forward to seeing the results. The studio was near Harrods and as I haven't been in there dice I was a kid we took the girls for a browse. I can recommend it as a free activity with little uns. DD1 was agog at the foodhalls, especially the chocolate hall which was decked out for Easter. At one point she asked whether I thought it was the yummiest place in the whole world. DD2 liked the chiuaua puppies in the pet dept and they were both enthralled by the mechanic bears in the toy dept. We then all had milkshakes in the fake 50s diner.

On naps, DD2 has been having one nap for a few months. She is like Beans DD, she sleeps 12.30 - 3 which gives me a lovely break.

Turnip, DD2 isn't walking either. She crawls and cruises and last week sh. Started standing unaided for a few seconds at a time. It's quite normal at this age I think.

Effie, I feel for you on the cleaning. I need to do something similar but it's so dispiriting when the kids will turn it all upsidedown again in seconds.

Daisy, I am so pleased to hear your DH is handling things better. Has he reduced the drinking? The Devon place sounds marvellous. Where is it?

Veggie. That swimming place sounds magic. Why don't we have stuff like that here????

Invis, enjoy the British Museum. How lovely to surprise your kids.

Kayz, fingers crossed for good news from the job centre. Let us know what happens.

I think I need a nap like Rubes does. Being off work with the kids ain't half exhausting.

Rubes - I give DD something forbidden to play with, like my phone or something. But don't do what a friend of mine's husband did and give your wedding ring, which was promptly swallowed!!

Oh my gosh, does anyone else have this sudden, irrational hatred/rage with their DH/DP? I don't know what's going on with me, but I can hardly bear to be in a room with him at the moment. I love him massively, but even the sound of him eating can drive me potty at the moment! Plus he seems to be v argumentative and is completely unaffectionate, unless he wants a shag. Grrrr.

And because I don't work Mondays and Fridays, every Friday morning he says how lucky I am to have 2 days off a week. Now, don't get me wrong, I love DD more than life itself, but Fridays and Mondays are hardly days off - so far I've been to Asda and Waitrose for big food shop and couldn't find some in one shop, have emptied the dishwasher, have hung up two loads of washing and fed DD two meals after she threw up the first. Then proceeded to throw up the second as well - am a bit worried about her! So have just thrown myself together a salad and am about to make beef goulash for our dinner, which no doubt he will criticise.

Sorry, I know I'm ranting, but I feel totally unappreciated. I hope this doesn't sound irritating, but I think I make it look easy because I don't go on about how busy I am etc, which I probably should. But I like to get stuff done in the mornings so I can see a friend or NCT lot or something in the afternoon. Then it's back to the grind again.

Sorry sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. On paper DH is perfect husband as he helps out and he sometimes cooks and he does DIY and he loves doing childcare when it suits him. But I feel like I'm lacking affection and like he's criticising me the whole time. Whinge whinge.

I bought DD a summer coat and a little skirt this morning and I just know DH is going to be cross with me as I'm not budgeting. I literally have to run every purchase past him, which depresses me! I even took back a handbag I bought from TK Maxx last week for £30, because I couldn't think how to explain to him that I'd just bought it for pleasure rather than because I need it!!! Lordy. Men and Women are so different.

Right, I'll shut up now.

invis - how was your lunchtime meet up?? x

x

Oh sorry, Aubs - crossposted. Your photoshoot sounds great - I want one now! But think will wait til number 2 is a)born and b) attractive (ish), which I reckon happens at about 6 months!!!!

Bloody job centre!! It's all means tested so they need to know every hour I work on the exact days. But they think we might get money on Monday.

Beans, I frequently feel (irr)rational anger at my DP, probably because he can be extremely irritating and knows how to press my buttons. And I also get the criticism thing, and the spending too much thing! No real answers, other than it sounds like you both might benefit from some nights out, both together and apart? I find that when DP and I are happier in ourselves we're kinder to one another. And we're also more interesting - I think it's the routine which makes for irritability and shortness because we get fed up with our own dull lives so tend to pick on things that don't matter. We're also quite tricky when we're tired and as that's a lot of the time, I don't know the solution really! Just wanted to empathise really.

Glad you had a good photoshoot, Aubs, can we get a temporary peek on your profile??

Rubena, T and I have our only real fights during nappy changes. It's a real battle of wills, and the only time I ever win is if I surprise him (the other day, I counted to 30 in French and he was so confused he just stayed still the whole time!). I also have a book that makes music that he can hold while i change him. But basically I think they just decide they'll occasionally let you do it to make you think whatever you did works, then next time you try it they'll look you in the eye and wriggle away . Apparently at nursery he's quiet good as they have a poster on the wall next to the changing mat and talk him through the pictures, so maybe something on the wall near the changing station?

Am v about all these long naps your DCs do. T will either do two 40 min naps, or one one and a half hour nap, or sometimes just one half hour nap! I think he's a very light sleeper. He also gets up pretty early so not like we feel the benefit in the morning...

Forgot to say thanks *Veggie for the asthma info, I think it might be that as the antiobiotics haven't made any difference to his rattliness and you'd have thought they'd have kicked in after 5 days.

Oh, and on the DP trip front, there wouldn't be much point me accompanying him as he works all day and eve when he's away so I wouldn't get to see him and at least here there's familiar stuff to do. And I probably also avoid travelling more than I'd like as T never sleeps anywhere other than his own bed so it's only worth it if there's two of us to do shifts. He is back tomorrow night though (hurrah!) so that's good news.

Daisy, so glad things seem to be getting better, and that you have a break to look forward to. Your own hot tub and sauna, mmmmm

Fingers crossed for the extra cash, Kayz

Thanks Spot - I know people are in the same boat, but in a sick way, it's nice to actually here it, so you don't feel so lonely in a relationship - if you know what I mean? x

I'm so glad you DP is back tomorrow night - what a relief!

Daisy - so glad things are looking up. Great relief, as think of you often.

x

Beans: the only (un)helpful thing I can suggest is separate accounts. I hate the idea of justifying my spending. But then when one of you is working it can feel like you're getting pin money. Btw have put acfriends req on fb but you will have no idea who I am! Initials AL.

Any news on the meet up venue? I can come after all

Thanks Effie - we do have separate accounts but all my wages go into savings so we can use it for rent money when we move house in a couple of months. DH gives me an allowance - hence my explaining my spending habits to him!! But he pays for everything else, so I do feel bad spending anything on fripperies. I need to get a backbone, I think. Sometimes have to enjoy life. Plus he spends on triathlons, half marathons, marathons and half ironmen, so I've got to have a few outlets of my own, I guess!!

xx

he has happily gone down for 2nd nap - i am such an idiot - i wonder if his refusal for afternoon nap the last few days was effects of the mmr! He def still needs two

PS Not unhelpful at all - all wise words gratefully received. Anyway, enough of my whining, it's dull for everyone - need to hear from other people as I have outpoured enough!

Will watch Murder, She Wrote and marvel at how well it's done for such a terrible programme. And be slightly horrified by how much i enjoy it!!!

oops I hadn't actually pressed send when I typed that now have x posted with loads...
Aww Beans - preg hormones are awful. I know I've been difficult to live with but I feel a lot better the last few days. i think it's that I have more to occupy my time and the weather is looking better.
What do you mean he gives you an allowance if you are working too? I think I have misunderstood your post I'm still really tired and have taken all morning to do a grocery order...

Yes, bit complicated. But anything I earn goes into savings for future use and so I can see what I've earnt and see that it wasn't all for nothing being back at work!!! And then we'll use what I've saved for our rent when we move house, then I will feel like I'm contributing something to the running of our home!

Beans - just a quickie to say that you shouldn't be having to take back a £30 handbag or worrying about buying things for DD. Seriously. He has treats and you should have them too. Otherwise...it's just not fair. Having to justify your spending like that sounds a bit draconian.

Well my feeling is that if you have an allowance you get to spend it without any further questions! If you go over it fair enough.

Just back from a lovely time with DCs - big smiles from both make it all worthwhile. Shame to come back to the office really.

Daisy - really pleased things are looking better and the holiday sounds perfect.

Rubena - the nappy changing gets harder until it gets easier. At some point they realise resistance is futile and its OK again....

Beans - thinking about your dilemma. Does it make more sense for you to both agree an amount you will put into savings and then you keep some of your wages back for yourself, so you don't feel like you are getting handouts you have to justify? I know it doesn't make any practical difference, but it might change how you both feel about the money coming in? It is very tricky - we have role reversal in our house and I do have to remind myself to be sensitive to DH's position - we tend to treat everything as belonging to the household, but neither of us abuses that.

Aaarhh I tried to post earlier but the itouch battery ran out and I lost it all.

Pretty boring post just sympathizing with Aubs and hi to Turnip & Verso though I see them on FB loads luckily for me.

Feeling terrible at the moment have sone tummy bug and can't keep anything down. Plus have both boys at home. Both wanting attention & DS2 particularly bouncy today.

In view of this beans your DH's annoying believe me this is not your average sick day off work. DH is on his way home thankfully but 'Cars' finishes soon and not sure what to do with them next. I bet he would not enjoy making lunch for 2 children when he feels like throwing up on it. Why does all contributions come down to money, how about the physical contribution you have made providing him with offspring (and believe me that becomes more apparent after no. 2) and the contribution you make to running the home and feeding him FFS! I'm sorry you've caught me at a bad time but you are not his dependant you are his wife, his life partner.

Daisy I never iron we don't even have an iron here. DH buys no-iron shirt.

Beans, was it you that wrote a little while ago about your dh not happy about you going to catch up with a friend when he couldn't go, as he was going to be away with the guys anyway? Or am I getting you mixed up with someone else? I was trying to bite my tongue and practise being tactful, however.... if you guys are married - I agree with lady, that handbag thing is not on... you shouldn't be made to feel that way, and def shouldn't about spending on dc's. I wouldn't be happy with this allowance thingy and I agree with Invis. Wouldn't it would make more sense to put in the same percentage of your respective incomes of what you can afford and then the rest you can do with what you see fit or need to? I don't quite understand the seperate account thingy when you are married, but don't get me wrong I know it is very common it's just not what I've grown up with or am used to so I hope I don't sound too opinionated.

Veggie How do you get those nonb-iron shirts to actually look like no need for ironing? We don't iron here either but dh doesn't really care and wouldn't even notice if I did more than likely but we do have those shirts - Just can't get them to look completely wrinkle free!