DEC 08 - Welcome to the house of ill - We're riding a poonami

[MomOrMum]

This was the only thing I could remember some saying should be the next title!

We aren't really fighting. Occasionally we'll have a row but mainly about the way he treats the boys. He is doing much better since he went to the GP.

MIL is taking DS1 on holiday on the 12th March so I might see if we can go out for a meal as we'll only have DS2. I'm hoping I am just stuck in a rut. I sometimes feel like I do the same thing everyday.

But next week I have decided to get back on my bike and get running too. I have a feeling my weight is causing quite a bit of this as I feel so shit about it.

Right no more sad Kayz!!!

Hello dear girls

Thank you for all your kind words about my fed upness, I am honestly fine and just need to get this rigorous course out of the way without making a total twonk of myself. (Invis, you are totally right - if it wasn't hard it wouldn't be worth doing). I had vegetarian haggis, green beans and kale in the end. And a glass of Diet Vimto! Rock 'n' roll.

Beans, your recipe sounds magnificent but I don't eat fish (will pass it on to DH though). But sweet potato chips and potato wedges (JB) - mmmm. And Beans, Beryl and Mr Beryl sound like a pair of numpties. I went off Heat when the editor changed - I think he's ruined it and it seems aimed at a younger (more stupid) audience now. Booo.

Kayz, I am just so sorry for you . Beans gives you some really good advice, I think, and I thoroughly endorse it. It is SO hard to keep the romance alive with kids to look after and when you are short of time and money. I think you have had a really rough time recently, with your DH being in an awful gloom and taking it out on you and all the rest of it - it is not exactly conducive to romance. But as well as quality time together I think YOU need some quality time for yourself. Believe me, I have had some low points with DP but things are good at the moment as we are both working at it. You have a really good base. Things will improve. Could you talk honestly to him about it?

Turnip, I send you a huge hug re: missing your Mum. I dread something happening to mine every day. But I don't think a mother's love ever, ever leaves us and she is right there in the love you show your own kids, informing everything you do and making you strong. I hope you don't find that icky or cliched. I really believe it.

Rubes, I think your DS is such a sweet little boy. Sorry he is getting steamrollered by the other two kids. He is still very young - I think kids gain in confidence simply by getting older and being able to do more things. O doesn't go to anything either (I want to start afresh at the new village) and DP is always saying DD is 'timid' as a result (which is absolute eyewash). Hope work goes ok.

Right, no more time as have to pack for Midlands. Off to Mum's until late Monday so won't be posting on here until Tues - will be lurking on my phone though!

I've just spoken to him about it. I think I'm going to go and see my GP and see if I'm depressed. I'm not sure if I am but I would like to just check.

He asked if I wanted him to leave and I've said no and I don't. We've agreed to give it 6 months and I still feel like this then we'll talk about what happens from there.

We've both said we need to make more of an effort to now just be Mummy and Daddy.

Just been skimming through put wanted to send a big hug to kayz.

I really don't think you are alone in feeling like this tbh. How long have you been together? I think there comes a point in every relationship where you just sort of drift into a comfortable stage, where the 'ole romance and spontaneity(sp) disappear. I have found myself on occassion thinking 'is this it then?'. I do think you have to work at it. But it certainly seems that you need a break at times from being wife and mum and start being kayz iyswim? i thinking getting out on the bike and having a bit of 'you' time may help. I hope you are okay

We've been together 5 years now. We will have been married 4 years in July. I was 20 when we got married and I'm not sure if I was too young.

Gosh Kayz, you poor thing! Well done for talking to him about it that's a great start. I agree with others you need to do things for yourself. I have a yoga class once a week it's not much but it keeps me sane. No one there knows me as veggie the mummy they just know me as a lady that comes to yoga class and it's nice to have a quick chat about nothing baby related and then go home. It's my bit of me time.

Gotta go so can't post more but Lady what you said toTurnip was beautiful and I second it.

Where is Trace?

Oh and I have no child locks on our cupboard doors! No late night kebabs but I did use to crave KFC!

Veggie a little something is winging its way to you and AK va amazon. Or rather crawling: judging by the delivery dates they are sending it by donkey.

Rubes: I'm not sure many babies enjoy socialising with other babies. Baby groups are more for the mums!

Rubes, I don't think kids really start playing together until they are about 2 ish, so just find groups where the chat is good and the coffee OK and get stuck in to what suits. I don't think children really need other children at all until much later as they are too young to understand the concepts of sharing, enjoying others' company, gossiping etc. I go to a fab group on a Tues, but that's because I have a 3 year old who needs to be running around. When I just had Lucy I only went to one group where the women were nice and I made some good friends.

Kayz, I think it is very hard to maintain a good relationship when you have very small kids. My idea of foreplay is DH saying he's put the dishwasher on and the bin out. Seriously, we are like flatmates at the moment and not especially good ones at that. I think some time to yourself is a great idea. I also know that it is hard to like yourself when you are not feeling good in your skin about weight and things. Shall we restart the fatties' thread? I am on for it and am also exercising quite a lot now.

Veg, did you get my text?

Effie, the Ipod is called a speedo aquabeat and is designed for swimming. I was getting increasing frustrated with being alone with my thoughts so thought some good music would help me perk up. I am still working on getting it comfortable in my ears but it's really helping alleviate the boredom of 75 lengths.

Turnip, I am so sorry that you are missing your mum. I too dread something happening to mine. I remember last year when we were all very touched by Nanny Anne's kind and wise words. LadyT is right that she lives on in the love you have for your kids and I also think that she lives via you as she made you the top bird you are today. Big love to you my darling.

Beans, I LOVED Beryl and Barbara. And James .

Am just waiting for DH to come home so I can nip to a mate's for the evening. I have already been to Ikea, where poor M choked on a meatball and I had to galvanise myself to do some first aid PDQ. All ok now but twas awfully scary. I adore the meatballs but will never feel quite the same about them. He's fine now and, reading it back, it looks quite funny but at the time I was frantic.

Hope everyone else is OK. More later.

Hey Syb I've just texted you but have just realised our long weekend in London (DH is taking DS1 to an Arsenal match and at the last minute i've decided to tag along) is next weekend so could meet up for a coffee or if anyone wants to try another night out.

Evening peeps,

turnip I think LadyT hit the nail on the head. I find myself singing songs my mum sang to me and I know if the worst happened she wasn't here anymore that would be comforting some how.

kayz I agree with what everyone has said about finding it hard to be a couple with small children. Perhaps a bit of time apart doing your own thing and some time together out of the house would help. Could you get someone to come and sit the children when they're in bed so you could pop out together for a quick drink?

sybil How scary about the meatball, glad he is fine now. I find Ikea traumatic at all times! Did you get anything nice?

rubes DD has become much more determined to hold onto toys since going to nursery. It becomes a necessity! It isn't a nice trait though and now I am one of the mothers at playgroups having to give toys back to other children that DD has stolen . Even the older ones don't play together though, they just fight over toys.

We have no locks on our kitchen cupboards either but they are the type without handles, just a groove at the top. They are horrible and ugly but are proving quite useful at the moment. Actually we were watching Early Doors the other day and our kitchen is the same one that is in the very dated flat above the pub. The shame!!

DH is away for a boozy weekend and DD has her MMR tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it does not render her grumpy, sleepless or ill!

Grarrahgjhgsj - I have tears in my eyes you lot of lovlies. Thanks for all the kind words veg LadyT jolly and everyone. sybs can't believe you remembered my lovely Mum's name (esp given I have been awol for the last number of months...).Bless you.

I second Effie and Sybil's wise words on kids / interacting etc. Babies just need food/mum (or other!)/milk/cuddles etc. Lots of social stuff might be good for us (or not) but isn't a requirement for quite a while. So don't worry Rubes. L was a complete briar this afternoon postnap - then I looked in her poor mouuth and her side gum is swollen to all hell, as molar no.3 is attempting to burst through. My friend always says that this 12-18mth phase is actually quite tricky. Glad your back is better!

Jolly hope you survive the DH free weekend ok. On the MMR - they actually say (unlike the other immunisations) that the after-effects are more likely 4-7 days. But hopefully she will be fine and dandy (or nothing that some calpol won't sort).

Kayz hugs to you. You know your relationship best, but don't be thinking that just because you got together young that that is why you are finding it tough. I am quite the romantic and think its lovely to have found The One at that age. I wouldn't necess say I am "in love" with DH either (we are together 13 years, married for 9 - sheesh) - but I love him dearly and know that after each child we go through a rocky patch that soon sorts itself out. I hope you feel better pet. Good idea to see DR.

Did anyone watch last nights Relocation? Was so at the houses they looked at. And kept thinking how much the girl looked like Hope out of Thirtysomething (my fave programme from the late 80s - Kay you DEFO wouldn't recall that!)

Veg if you are around Finsbury Prk/Drayton Pk/Emirates I would love to meet for a coffee next weekend. xxx

Kayz sorry you're feeling low, but lots of good advice already given that I can't improve on. Hope you start to feel better soon. The slightly better weather today helped me to cheer up a bit, roll on Spring.

I need a quick bit of fashion advice please. I am going to a hen do in a couple of weeks and we have been told to dress in the style of Sex and The City. I have never seen it so have absolutely no idea what that means. I've googled some pictures, but can only find pics of them wearing cocktail dresses, is that what they wear all the time? I'm buggered if I'm going out in some shitty little provincial town in a flippin' cocktail dress in March!

Katie you could go out in really nice comfies (ie what SJP wears when she is lolling about on her bed tapping away at her laptop with inane drivel - sorry world's only 30something SiTC Hater!). I would probably say - just your nicest outfit. Tis a bit vague as a theme.

I know, rubbish isn't it - both the theme and the programme . I think I need to go shopping, my best outfit currently consists of jeans, jumper and ugg boots .

Kayz I thought you were supposed to be out enjoying yourself at the pub tonight?

Hi everyone, its been a while and I have no chance of catching up on the old thread or the new one, so huge apologies for the lack of personals. I hope everyone is well, although can I assume from the thread title that there?s some dodgy tummies around? I hope they clear up quickly and everyone gets better again.

I?ll give some of my news, as we?ve had a great holiday last week. We went to Northumberland with friends for a week, all of who (whom?) have children ? my god daughter is 2 and the other friends DD is just 2 days older than our DD. The children just blossomed together (and were exhausted by the end of the day ? bonus), it was so lovely. And we all blossomed with the regular doses of cheerfulness, cheese and chocolates! We stayed in the most amazing house ? actually part of a stately home, and it was stunning ? the pictures we got when we booked it didn?t do anything to demonstrate how big and beautiful it really is. Quite a culture shock coming home though and our house seems tiny in comparison. The first day we went was my birthday and my friends brought along some bubbly and cake to treat me. And then on Valentines day our DH?s treated us and worked together to make us a yummy three course meal. It was a fab holiday. I did get a wonderful insight into the joys of potty training that lay ahead ? can?t wait!

And this week I?ve been away with work for 2 days, only the second time I?ve left DD overnight. It was a busy couple of days, so I didn?t have chance to dwell on missing her, which was good. I was gutted that I didn?t get a full nights sleep, which I was really looking forward to, as I still woke up and for a minute or two couldn?t work out why I couldn?t hear crying! And in the whole 2 days I was gone, her hair her grown, she can stand wobble without holding onto anything and can say Daddy and doggy (no sign of Mummy, of course). Think I might go away more often, to come home to more lovely surprises?

I?ve read through the most recent page ? I?ve missed the full detail about Kayz and MrKayz, but it sounds like you?re in a tough place and my heart goes out to you. From what I have read, I think it is really positive that you?re both willing to talk and make an effort ? so you?re still travelling on the same path rather than different ones, which I think is great. Good luck my dear x

Rubes DD is hugely entertained by watching other children (but then I?m an avid people watcher too), but any ?play? is just actually snatching toys from each other at the moment. I?m hoping at some point she?ll learn some manners ?

Night night everyone, love to you all xx

Why am I awake??? I got in just before 1 this morning. It was a great night out and it was just what I needed. It also meant DH got to watch a DVD that I would find really boring. I think we're going to start doing this quite a lot. Then one of us can go out and the other can watch a DVD or play games on pc etc.

Thanks for all the advice. It means so much to me that I can come and offload here.

Right I'm trying to go back to sleep now. Bloody exhausted.

Quick one from me as am about to go and get my hair cut. Zoe: great to see you, glad you had a nice hll. Kayz: would repeat what everyone says about the woes of small children and relationships! I married dh at 23, we had a fair few years together before having kids and this is absolutely the hardest time. Because if there are any issues you have no time or energy to sort them out!

Thanks for all the photos on fb rubes. Keep updating people: if you don't I'm stuck with endless messages about my grandpa playing farmville. How do you turn them off? He is nearly 90 and far too old to be building virtual chicken coops.

ZJ - that holiday sounds amazing and what amazing DHs! Jealous!

Kayz - was it worth it??!

We've just signed a contract with an estate agent to put our house on the market. Very exciting and not a little bit emotional. I've been living in this house for 13 years - imagine the tears when we move out!!! SOB!

But exciting nonetheless as it's time to go. DH excited because we'll finally have a house that's ours, not just his. Although we're renting for a while, which isn't really "ours"!

Just popped DD down for her sleep and she's out like a light. I've stopped giving her any snacks at all between meals and she's eating brilliantly! Long may it last after weeks of fussiness and refusals!!!

ZJ sounds like a blissful holiday. Can you send us link to holiday home would love to investigate it.

Beans how exciting (but tearful) about your house!

House of Vom last night. Up 3 times with DD1 last night (DH was blissfully snoozing away in spare room having been out for the night). He is SO on duty tonight!

Hello everyone,

House of Vom here today, maybe we caught it from turnip! DD has been fine up to about 4.45 and we had projectile vomiting about 4 times. I rang the Dr to check it wasn't a weird MMR reaction (she had her jab this morning) but apparently not, so just yet another bug. She managed to be sick into her brand new first pair of shoes, not to mention the sofa, her cot, me, two rugs... the washing machine is not going to stop tonight. DH is away all weekend so lucky old me is holding the fort. She went to bed early no problem, I just hope that is the end of the sickness.

Hello zoe, nice to see you back. Glad you had a good trip, the house sounds lovely.

Can I just have a moan?! My mum is complaining about not seeing enough of DD, "we'll be strangers to her",
but hasn't been round since before Christmas. Fair enough she broke her hand and has to rely on my dad to drive (it is a 45 minute journey) but their excuses for not coming are just getting silly. Last week she couldn't come because of the snow but my dad and brother still came over to our town to go to a shop but not to see us . Now they are waiting for a plumber to get in touch to fit a new radiator (the heating is working fine) so may come this weekend or may not. I must sound like a brat but we have been over there a few times since Christmas but because of their dog we find it hard to relax and DD can't crawl round or anything. They say that the dog "loves children", and are happy to let it run around near her but I don't trust it at all, it attacked one of their cats so badly it needed stitches. I'm just finding it stressful them complaining but not actually doing anything about it. I texted to say DD had been sick and she replied that it was a shame and then started wittering on about the damn plumber!! Oops, must calm down. Right my tea is ready. Bye for now.

Hello, just popping on to say hello. Been lurking but no time to post as usual. Hope sickly babies are OK for the weekend and prggers ladies are all doing OK

Hello thanks for all the comments regarging the babies playing etc. yeah I think it's just his personality. Mil was telling me dh was the same.
Back at work again. mil came over just as ds woke from morning nap and he was v upset so I dreaded the worst for her while I was at work, but he napped, played, was happy, ate all his dinner and went to bed at 7 with not a peep! he's just waking now and
Exciting Beans - wishing you a quick sale
wow lots of vomiting going on. I have been fortunate to not have any of that since he was about 6 months. I suspect it's his not going to nursery? Dunno but perhaps it has it's good points with bad.
Jolly your mum is being unreasonable. I'd be really annoyed about that trip to your village and not calling in what the hecks wrong with grandparents these days??? Mine carry on like they are the distant great Aunty / Uncle's. mil has been a star though.

Effie you cheeky bugger!!!! That is hilarious! I will have to read it now he he.

AK loves the book and is quite excited about the DVD very generous.

I did restrain myself - first book that came up was 'Spanish Doctor Pregnant Midwife!'. The train book is one of the DSs favourites.

We got DS2 a booster seat for the table as he is getting cross with his high chair. He loves it.

Hello everyone,

Can you tell DH is away, here I am again!

Today has been up and down. It is hard because of the vomiting and the MMR - I don't know if the bug or the MMR is causing the problem. I don't suppose it matters really. The injection site is red and swollen though, poor thing on top of everything else.

DD woke up being sick in the night but apart from bringing up the water she glugged too fast, getting a sippy cup out from between clamped jaws is harder than it sounds, she hasn't been sick again. She has just been hot and tired all day, napping on and off. I've given her calpol and stripped her off a bit. I find illness the hardest thing about being a parent, it is so worrying. When I got back into bed last night I couldn't sleep fretting because she went back to sleep so easily .

Anyway after moaning about my parents they came across today .

rubes Well done your MIL and DS. That sounds a lovely day. I think nursery is the cause of all the bugs! She loves it there which is great but all the illness is grim.

Anyway, hope everyone is having good weekends and the other vomity babies are feeling better.