FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

nikki87 my stitches became loose and an open wound so i know exactly how your feeling. i think im a few days ahead of you in the healing process so i can tell you it does get alot less painful. my mw told me to go to the doctors and get him to prescribe me some antibiotics to fight off any possible nastiness occuring he was also kind enough to prescribe me paracetamol so i got about 5 boxes of paracetamol for free!! was also told to keep it clean, no soap just water esp after any bowel movements and also to buy some antiseptic wash, like savlon or dettol, i got a dettol spray which i jus spray liberally. im now not counting down the hours till i can take more paracetamol only make sure i take it if i know im going to do alot of walking as it becomes quite tender then. had mw today and she said its starting to heal so will get better from now on. going to get them checked on mon to see if i need a repeat of the antibiotics. hope this helps.

does anyone have any tips to settle the lo at night? it seems to be getting later and later before i can get her to properly sleep in her moses basket. she feeds then zonks out burp her then wait a bit before putting her in, but then 5 mins later shes screaming. getting really fractous then acting like she desperatly wants a feed again. i feed her as nothing else will settle her and then the cycle continues about 3 or 4 times. its really frustrating, and is starting to effect me and dp.

ems, how did u go about bowel movements, thats the issue im having, altho they are generally sore, i can put up with that [im having iburfen and arnica for the swelling, seems to be working] but its the opening my bowels im concerned about. oh and im getting pains further up, above the stitches, is that just brusing you think or could it be a sign of infection?
IC im demanding hugs from DP, and he seems all to obliging, thankfully, lol

Hiya everyone,

We're having a similar thing here, DS just wants to feed all the time. Its the only thing that will settle him when he's fractious.

We're going out to a postnatal/BFing group this afternoon, I hope I'll get a bit quicker at getting organised. Seems to have taken ages and now we're fitting in another feed!

Have a good day everyone and hope those stitches ease soon.

Same thing here, DS looks like he is hungry all the time!

But we have discovered that he likes sucking as he tries to get his hands/fingers or my jumper / fingers in his mouth just after a feed.

I have to confess that in order to settle him down especially after a feed, I have bought him a dummy but he uses it the time to settle down / fall asleep and then throw it away in his cot.

My cs scar is itchy at the moment as the hairs that they shaved are growing back and it's driving me nuts!!

I weight myself this morning in order to see how much weight I'll have to loose... I need to loose 12kg (about 2 stones) I only put on 1 stone 1/2 during the pregnancy but I was overweight before. So no more chocolate for me and once I'm properly heal, back to the gym

I hope you're all doing well and that the healing are starting to work.

nikki, I am two weeks post birth and the pain of the stitches is finally easing off. I took Ibuferen for them and hot baths if you can find the time. I guess it very much depends where exactly they are, mine are 'internal' (I try not to think about it too much). But it was a good 10 days before I was ready to venture out the house even just down the road so I feel your pain.

Yes to everyone with the late night frustrated baby symptoms. Iris is exactly like this too, and she gets so het up that she won't be settled unless I feed her, and when I try to she pummels and fights and wiggles so it's really hard and painful for me. So dispiriting.

It feels like we are trying everything... co-sleeping, pre-warming the moses basket, more feeding in the evening, more sleeping in the evening, top up expressed breast milk in evening... some of it works some of time and none of it works a lot of the time. Our hunch is that it might be a combo of tiredness (too much feeding??) and indigestion / wind. But how to deal with it? Goodness knows.

not sure whether im reassured that everyone is having the same problems as us or not. its nice to know we arent the only ones and bad parents but on the other hand i had hoped someone would have a miracle cure.

we finally got her settled gone 2am last nite after trying to get her to settle in her moses basket since 1030. sooo frustrating, within 5 mins she be awake and screaming and looking to be fed again. she has a tiny tummy i jus cant see how she wud still be hungry. i want to help dp to cope with it more he gets quite stressy at nite when shes screaming think hes convinced were doing something wrong.

nikki when it comes to bowel movements i eat shreddies and bananas and brown bread and i tend to be ok. i wait till i need to go so as not to strain and i also take my time i was reassured in hosp that i wouldnt open anything or make it worse by going so i jus did it. as long as you dont expect it to be the normal painfree and jus maybe a bit weird or tender you will be ok.

never thought id ever go into detail about my bowel movements

Hi. DH has been out to the pub this evening as I've had a good day and I've taken the opportunity to catch up on this thread whilst feeding etc..

I'm sorry that there are so many problems arising with the feeding/sleeplessness etc.. and will write more in the next couple of days as I think as a second time mum I might have a few useful insights. (Hope that doesn't sound too boastful - I just know that I benefited loads from hearing the experiences of my friends who were a child ahead of me last time round). Hoping to go to bed soon so will wait till tomorrow night to write in detail.

Quick note re bowels: nobody seems to have mentioned cutting a maternity pad in half and holding it against the stitches while you 'go'. Apply gently pressure against your pushing if you feel it helps. It gives me confidence that the stitches are less likely to split. Was advised this by midwife last time. I've also tried standing up (sorry as TMI) to get started as there is less chance of spreading wounds. Then of course, in addition to wholemeal etc.., get lactulose if you haven't already. Also might be worth finding out about birth breathing form hypnobirthing. I've been using it and it really helps!!

Good luck for sleep tonight ladies. Will come back when have formulated my thoughts a bit more.

bethylou, I don't think any of us first-timers will mis-read any well-meant advice from someone who's done the newborn thing before! Any tips are hugely welcome, bring 'em on!

Rosie is also going through a more wakeful-at-night phase now, after being comparatively easy to re-settle in the first three weeks. Think it's 'cos she's now got into breast-feeding (more-or-less successfully weaned her off her dependence on the bottles and nipple-guards now) and she associates it with comfort. Mind you, last night, she wasn't interested in breast-feeding as she'd had enough milk, but still didn't want to settle back to sleep after the 0300 feed.

In the end, I put her in the sling and took her for a walk into the other room and jigged and rocked her quietly until she started to go heavy-lidded - after that, she slept soundly until 0700. Thankfully, she didn't yell as DH had to get up early for work this morning and I didn't want him to wake up.

Took Rosie to see the paediatrician yesterday and all was well. Her naval hasn't entirely healed though, so we'll have to take her in to have a bit of silver nitrate applied. Anyone else need this done? I have a feeling it may sting her a bit.

Right, I'm off to grab a quick shower while she's snoozing. Laterz!

hello, i have found the postnatal thread hurrah.
Have been a bit lost on MN lately as waited so long for this baby to arrive and had my little routine of which threads i checked etc.
Now this and the breastfeeding one seem to be all i need. (AIBU is a no go as i feel permenantly unreasonable due to lack of sleep).

Seth will be 3 weeks on monday and even tho he is my 3rd i am still floundering a bit with the newborn thing. on the one hand i am trying to make the most of every second cos they grow so fast but on the oyher can't wait till feeding sleeping etc settle down.

i am really lucky as DH home for the next few weeks so i am getting plenty of help and rest.

Nice to know i am not the only one up at 3am.

IC - Seth's belly button is not healing either but nobody seems that bothered.

Evening ladies I finally have a few minutes to post for the first time on this thread.

My ds (name still to be confirmed) arrived 4 days ago. The birth was so much better than dd's as it was over in about 2 hours. Still hurts like hell though doesn't it?! Everything is going well and he has taken to breastfeeding really well. My nipples are really sore though and bleed a bit occasionally. I think it is because he has really strong suction rather than a bad latch, but I will probably go to our local breastfeeding cafe to get checked out on Monday.

As a second time mum I would love to have lots of pearls of wisdom to offer those of you doing this for the first time, as I know how overwhelming it can be. But the best I can offer is this. Do what you have to. You will not be setting yourselves up for long term problems as everything really is just a phase. For example, very few babies will settle at this stage, anywhere other than in someones arms. So take your babies to bed with you, just for a few weeks. That way you both get to have some sleep, and besides, I think it is one of the loveliest things in the world. My dd also needed to suckle to get to sleep every night. So I let her. I hated to hear her cry so I did my best to give her what she wanted. I figured she knew what she needed more than I did. I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but I think we have so much advice hurled at us it becomes confusing as to what to do for the best. And that is whatever suits you and your baby.

On a lighter note. Isn't it fantastic not being pregnant any more? I had forgotten how sore things can be post delivery but it is still easier to do stuff like put boots on. I only had 3 stitches but I am aware of them all the time. How long does it take before you feel normal again down there?

Ds slept really well last night so I am expecting a not so good night tonight. Will probably need to come back on here at 3 am to re read my own advice......

Congratulations Chinook on the arrival of little Nameless!

Thanks for the words of wisdom, too.

OK, see you back here at 0300?!!

Congrats Chinook. You beat me to it on the 'remember it's just a phase' advice. I think this is one of the most important things I learnt last time (and still have to remember with DS1 now at 22 months) because it's very easy to get overwhelmed by the all the things you are trying to do for your newborn and the difficulties that arise(whilst your body tries to deal with all the associated hormones). However, in two years time (and much less...), the things that are bothering you now will seem unimportant and you won't even remember much of it. I still have to work hard at not wishing away this special time and feel guilty when I look forward to bedtime. I think we get given a secret dose of guilt when we give birth and I never feel I've done well enough!

Positive tips that worked for us:

1. Take loads of photos and video as you will be amazed how little you can remember of the next few months!
2. Once the baby approaches a year old everything becomes much easier (I'm not saying it'll be hard till then but it does suddenly seem to get easier again then).
3. Be kind to yourself - make lunch (and eat it!) - the baby might cry for a couple of mins but you'll be a better mum for having stable blood sugar levels!
4. Don't worry if you are tearful for weeks. I think I cried every day till my 6 week check and didn't consider myself to have anything other than overwhelming tiredness as a cause.
5. We used E.A.S.Y from the baby whisperer which stands for eat, activity, sleep, 'you' time. It took me 9 weeks to establish it fully and to stick to it but it was very useful.
6. Try and encourage your baby to have a full feed in one go over the next few weeks so that they only need to feed every 2-3 hours. If they feed more often they learn to snack (according to the baby whisperer) - take a bit at a time and feed more frequently. (Not sure how this applies to little babies I'm afraid).
7. We rocked DS1 to sleep for first 6 weeks, used a dummy from day 2 and expressed milk in a bottle each night from 1 week(so I only did one night feed and DH did the other) - all the things that I was told not to do. DS1 has turned out fine (and we ditched the dummy at 5 months - much easier than when they are 2) and I'd second Chinook's advice that you can change things that you set up now - do what you need to do to get through this phase and then work on developing things when you are feeling a bit stronger and less tired.
8. Put drops of lavendar oil in your bath each day to heal your stitches quickly. Mine are not hurting anymore and it's only day 7. I also sit and get my sore nipples in it too.
9. Accept that you need to lower your housework standards in order to spend time bonding with your baby and recovering from giving birth. This is your job at the mo - not to keep an immaculately clean and tidy house.

10. Find your own way (and ignore all of the above!!) Listen only to advice from friends whose parenting skills you admire and don't spend time worrying about comments from your mum/MIL who will probably think that the way they did it was better/right etc..

None of this is rocket science so sorry if it sounds patronising - 'tis written with only good intentions.

Chinook that was a lovely post, it has taken me till number 3 to work out you have to just go with the flow.
My 9 year old terrifies me everyday with his teenage like behavior and i remember stressing so much about when to feed him, how to get him to sleep in his cot. Needless to say he happily sleeps in his own bed now and eats pretty much everything without a fuss.

colicky baby here DH is pacing the livingroom and i am pretending i haven't noticed.

Wow! Bethylou and Chinook thank you so much for all this advice. It really, really helps.

I had such a stress yesterday because Victoria doesn't settle during the day and doesn't sleep - she cries unless she is in the pram/someone's arms - but she has been sleeping like a dream at night (that could change, we are only 10/11 days in!) So it really helps to read your kind words and realise that it's ok to just go with it. Going out for walks is fantastic so I am going to take advantage of that and just go. It gives me a clear head and gives her a break from crying.

I hadn't realised that hearing my own baby cry would tug so much on my heartstrings. It's an incredibly emotional experience and the worry that it creates (what's wrong? is she in pain? what can I do?) is exhausting because I love her so much and I just want her to be happy.

We'll get there!

Cheers for all that bethylou - keep the tips coming, I say!

Did I mention olive oil as a great way of avoiding/curing nappy rash, btw?

Had a good night last night - Rosie woke for her feeds, but went straight back to sleep in the sling afterward, so I managed to get some dreamtime too. Her due date is today - she's no longer premature (!)

flyingcloud have you got a sling?!! Sounds like you would find one useful, if you haven't already...

love to all and your little bundles...

phew! Just caught up on all that! i lost so much blood post delivery that I had a transfusion, but still am v anaemic, and thus very tired - too tired to go on internet most of the time. Anyway, i'm still here! I think one or the other of you said most of what i'm feeling between you all!! Elisheba is completely beautiful and makes it all worth the pain and effort, the stiches, the bleeding, the lack of sleep, the chaotic house with piles of gifts and cards we've not really looked at! Must say though, i do enjoy going to bed, knowing there will be at least some sleep, even if nothing like it ever was before!

Wil try and keep up with you all! x

HI all not read through thte thread yet.. might find the time at some point..

Family have all gone now and though it was nice having them here it is nice to have just myself DH and our 4 DC in the house.

I still keep thinking to myself OMG I am no a mother of 4!!

Oliver is doing well.. cant get him to latch at the breast with or without the nipple shield.. managing to express most bottles for him but he is also having formula.. I am not going to get myself upsaet about it this time though!!. Even though I wish he would latch on will keep trying, but aslong as he is getting the EBM. Just expressed 7oz in 20mins so enough for two feeds.

Re nether regions I am so glad i refused the two stiches they wanted to put in, the swelling has 90% percent gone now and so has the discomfort. Still got slight lochia, but no where near as much blood loss as I did after DC3.
Having problems with our 5 year old though.. reqally hoping his behaviour and attitude changes and returns to normal now that Oliver is here and things can return to norma. When the family where here it didnt help them trying to install what they think the rules in the house should be.. I felt like shouting to my aunty.. FFS you have one child, who is 4.. I have 4 children and have been doing this for 13years I iknow what the f**k I am doing..
They were not uused to the noise etc in the house and kepot saying why do you let them have noisey toys, why do you let them have more than one toy out etc.. ermmm becqause they are chldren and they are pkaying , and if you look they do only have one set of toys out each!!! AAAGGGHJHHH sorry rant over.

Anyone else missing feeling their little ones moving inside of them I am, and also little gutted that i wont be doing it again. Although I did tell DH that there was no way I was going to go through labour again, my body wouldnt take it I dont think....lol.. and with everything that started to go wrong in the end all the worry etc..
I am happy with my 4.... thank God he has had the snip..lol

Managed to find time to say hello.
H is 3 weeks tomorrow and physically things for me are improving a lot, stitches seem to be nearly healed, midwife is coming tomorrow to check them. Nipples are not as sore and not scabby anymore, breasts are not as tender. Lochia is a bit annoying as it keeps seeming to stop for a day or so then restarting.
I'm feeling a bit tired, nights are a mixed bag, sometimes it takes forever for him to settle down after a feed and I seem to be up all night, then other nights he goes straight back down and I get a fair bit of sleep.
I'm getting used to having Cbeebies on all the time while I am sat feeding the baby, keeps my 19 month old toddler amused and stops him getting up to mischief. Keep getting the Show Me song stuck in my head which is really irritating in the middle of the night!

Hi hope
I can join in, I have a baby boy Finn who is 2 weeks old today and a 28 month old girl Lily. We are getting on ok, breastfeeding is going well , and pooing and puking seem to be his favourite pastimes hence a very sore bum. Lily has taken great to Finn which is lucky but I feel bad for her as we have not been to groups etc so think she is getting a bit bored and missing her friends.

Look forward to chatting to you all x

Welcome clu

Sam has decided today that he'll feed every 3 hours instead of 4 as he has done for the last 3 weeks! Fingers crossed that he will go back on 4h before the night

Hi everyone, I've finally managed to get myself over here. I only posted on the antenatal thread a couple of time and I've had a slight name change since then.

Noah was born on 10.2.10 weighing 6lb 3oz, 13 days before his due date. I haven't written up his birth story yet but I'll get round to it soon. DD (almost 15 months) loves him but is teethIng so is a bit unhappy at the moment anyway.

DS has got jaundice, if it's not cleared by Wednesday he's got to be referred back to hospital for blood tests. I'm having to wake him every 2/3 hours for feeding but sometimes he's just not that bothered. I once forgot to set the alarm at night and he slept for 5.5 hours, he does love a good cluster feed in the evening though.

Bf is going quite well, had some issues with engorgement, cracked nipples and a slight blocked duct but it's all starting to settle down now. DD would never even latch on so I'm so pleased we've got this far. He's just been weighed today and is now 6lb 6oz so he has gained back the 6oz he lost plus some extra.

DS has also got a slight infection in his skin so we are off to get his AB's soon.

Right DD just woken up from her nap and DS is stirring too. Will try to get back shortly to catch up properly

Hi clu and Phew - huge congratulations on the arrivals of Lily and Noah - welcome to the thread!

Last night Rosie decided she didn't want to sleep in the sling on my chest anymore and didn't want to get off my nipple, so experimented with lying on my side with Rosie beside me, hemmed in by a bf cushion - seemed to do the trick - for now!

Anyone else using washable nappies, btw? We've been very impressed with the Pop-ins we got...

It sounds like we're all doing pretty well!

I'm on my first day solo as DH has gone back to work today. I was not too anxious about it as 3yo DD1 is at nursery on Mon and Tues, then at ILs on Weds, and I have decided to stick to her routine as she loves it. But she woke up with a fever on Saturday that hasn't shifted, so she hasn't gone to nursery today and I have taken her to the doctor. She has a nasty throat and chest infection, poor love, so is on antibiotics and her asthma inhalers. Not quite the start I was expecting, but I'm quite proud of myself for coping so well with the two of them this morning (had to park in the world's smallest space outside the surgery, master the spare car seat for DD2, breastfeed DD2 in the waiting room, and persuade DD1 that antibiotics aren't the spawn of the devil).

DD2 is being a star. She'll be two weeks old tomorrow and is feeding well (put on 7oz in five days last week), and being very kind to me at night (goes three and a half or four hours between feeds at night, and feeds are 30mins max including nappy changes) so I'm feeling well rested. Well, I would do if I wasn't up with DD1 who refuses to take paracetamol!

Hope everyone is feeling and doing OK. My best advice is to not panic. Do what is best for you and your baby as a happy mummy equals a happy baby. I really beat myself up last time over giving DD1 formula, but it was the best thing I could have done as I didn't have enough milk and she was starving. As soon as I started giving formula (after struggling on for three weeks), she became much more contented and settled, and I was much less stressed as a result. I also gave a dummy last time, despite swearing that I never would. But DD1 was a terribly sucky baby and needed it. We dropped it with no problem at three months and she found her thumb. So go with your instincts.

Take care x

I'm back at the hospital today and typing on the weird touchscreen thing above my head _ an odd form of arm exercise I think so excuse mistakes! my bladder isn't working prperly, which happened last time, so they are trying to get me to wee on my own sgainwithout a catheter. at least this time we kjow we can get it sorted out-last time it was all a bit of an unknown. ds2 is still dong well, though he has decided i am the best form of dummy and wants to suckle for hrs at night. ds1 is very up and down and walks roundsaying 'i grumpy!' a lot! i will return when i can use m computer at home that works prperly! welcome to our new arrivals on the thread.