FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

babygiraffes I'm glad you've said that, I'm feeling so confused and teary at the moment, when Corey is with me, I'm so panicky, dreading the next feed due to his cold/in case he chucks again/doesn't settle/another problem, so want either DGP's to have him for a few hours [which in itself I feel guilty about] but then when they take him [my DP's have taken him shopping for a few hours to let me catch up on housework and try to feel human for a little while] I feel like the place is empty and want him back NOW! I feel constantly on the brink of tears [good as well as bad] just hoping the overwhelmed feeling passes soon!!

I would also like to say sorry, I seem to be posting loads of here, just winging about everything, thank you everyone that has responded to all the rants I've posted

Don't worry Nikki, that's what this thread is for - mutual support. Rant all you want. It is such an intense experience becoming a mum for the first time, isn't it? And everyone says the first few weeks feel toughest, with so much to take on board and this tiny stranger who is suddenly your responsibility under your 24-hour care.
Honestly, I'm sure you're doing fine.

More un-mumsnetty hugs coming your way...

I think hugs are very MN, judging by this thread!

Nikki, I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I remember feeling like the first three weeks were abject chaos last time round. I also clearly remember that feeling of dread that would creep up on me when DD1 cried or needed attention, as I felt I wasn't qualified to decide what she needed. But then I suddenly realised one day that I hadn't felt that like for a couple of days and it all started falling into place. My advice would be to accept all offers of help that come your way, but also make sure you continue to do whatever you need to feel "normal" - for me, this was cooking dinner each night, as it made me think about something different each day, but it may be something different for you. But I feel it's important to do something non-baby each day.

Also, try and get out each day if you can. It's amazing what some fresh air, and just the sense of achievement of getting out, can do for you, and it also gives you a focus each day. It doesn't have to be anything major, just popping to see a friend for a cup of tea, or even going to post a letter. But I found it gave me something to aim for, and made some time disappear, which I really needed at the time!

I've just read all that back, and realised that I sound like I hated motherhood last time, but what I'm trying to say is that I felt really overwhelmed and worked out ways of coping that worked for me.

Here, we're nearly three weeks in, and my milk is rapidly disappearing. I feel irrationally bad about it, but am just getting on with mixed feeding. My biggest struggle is DD1, who adores her sister, but is being very trying a lot of the time. Still, all three of us survived DH's first week back at work, so onwards and upwards...

Hugs to all x

Can I join the hug fest? I am dispensing and receiving hugs too please.

It is soo hard to know what to do. I am in awe of IC who seems to be the most switched on and calm first time mum I have ever come across.

Victoria slept lots today - the first day that she has settled and slept during the day. However this evening has been a nightmare. I have taken to topping up the evening feed with some expressed breast milk as the marathon session of cluster feeding meant that DH was going hungry and we weren't able to spend any time together.

This evening she settled really well after her feed but then woke up an hour later and has been unsettled all evening. She has finally gone to sleep but will need another feed soon.

She cries so much and just can't settle herself to sleep at all. I guess this is normal but I just feel so bad for her as she really cries a lot.

Flying I also had problems to settle Samuel last night. I actually wonder if he may have been affected by the full moon

Today, my aim is to do a list of all the people who sent us cards / presents / flowers in order to do our thank you cards and to prepare a mousse au chocolat using some of the Xmas chocolate!

Good luck for today

Mmm... chocolate mousse!

Thanks for the vote of confidence flying - but you wouldn't have said that if you'd seen me bawling my eyes out when I couldn't get Rosie to breastfeed a few weeks ago! Thankfully, she's now becoming a bit of a pro at the nipple, but I felt as out of my depth and upset as any new mum struggling with an unknown situation, I can tell you!!

Yep, the evening feedathon is a current issue with Rosie, too. And the unsettled thing afterwards. I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the feeding isn't from hunger as such but just a desire to suckle. Her tiny tummy gets too full and gives her indigestion (and half of it comes back up again), hence the fussiness.

I'm trying to deal with it by gently limiting the time she's on the breast in the evening by giving her a dummy in between-times and trying various distraction techniques before letting her back on to have more milk - just to give her system a chance to process it before more goes in. Seems to be helping.

A nappy change before bedtime, followed by a bit of boob to calm her down (she hates nappy changes) and some rocking/walking about with her in the sling seems to be helping her chill out for sleep. Currently her feeds are midnight/0300/0600 and if I do her nappy before putting her on the breast (rather than the other way round, even though she tends to do stuff in her nappy during the feed) seems to encourage her to get back to sleep afterward more quickly.

Mind you, as soon as I think I've got a system that works up and running, Rosie gets other ideas. Babies are nothing if not perverse, no?! I reckon four hours sleep is my average at the moment! Major envy of anyone managing more.

I second watercress about getting out - it really does make a difference, physically and mentally.

Rosie's had her left over cord treated - turns out she's also got a hernia in her naval, but apparently there's every likelihood it will clear up on its own. Doesn't seem to bother her. Other thing is despite the early success of the olive oil regime and our best efforts to regularly change her nappy, Rosie's nappy rash has returned and with it a bout of thrush. Looks rather red and angry down there, but doesn't appear to bother her too much.
Ah well. We're seeing the doc tomorrow, so I guess we'll get some cream to put on it.

How's Cory's cold, Nikki?

Oh god, verbal squits again, sorry. That's what happens when you're on your own with only a sleepy newborn for company for hours on end!!

I admire anyone trying to keep up with feeding frenzies. I tried last week, but ended up feeling rubbish (physically and emotionally) so gave a bottle. That was probably the start of the demise of breastfeeding for me.

But it did end the feeding frenzies. Shona now settles after a bottle at about 7:30pm, then wakes at around 11pm, 2:30am and 5:30am for feeds, before waking for the day at around 8am. I'm very lucky in that I seem to be able to dump her awake in her basket post-feed and she drops off herself, so I'm not feeling too sleep deprived.

Made a mistake and had falafel for dinner last night - chick peas seem to send her crazy (as they did her sister), and I utterly forgot that the main constituent of falafel is chickpeas! Anyone else finding that random foods send their LOs mad?

This made me laugh so much - but oh my, the - ahem - pleasures in store don't bear thinking about!!

Watercress with Poppy it's mexican food! She's up all night with bottom burps if I eat mexican food, which is a real shame because DH loves chilli!

I think she must be having a little growth spurt at the mo, because she wont stop feeding. She was even feeding 2 hourly overnight (which is really unlike her). Never mind, at least she settles quickly afterwards so I'm not too tired (yet!).

We're using metanium for nappy rash, her bottom isn't too bad at the minute but it's a little red and spotty and I don't want it to be sore for her so I thought I'd better start with the cream. I felt awful though, we change her nappy as often as she's dirty so I don't know why it's getting sore. I'm blaming the laxative effect of breastmilk (I'm sure more comes out than goes in!). I hope you manage to get something to sort Rosie's out IC

Speaking of which I've just heard a little squirt (TMI?) so I'll have to leave it there
xx

thankyou so much everyone. I've moved in with my mum for a few days, getting myself into a routine, knowing that someone is around if i need them, but trying not to use them and to do things myself, then when i feel confident enough i'll go back home, again, knowing help is onlyround the corner, so kinda weaning myself onto being 'by myself'. I am trying to keep myself occupied by getting out during the day, when shopping before, but i find this a bit of a catch22, cause aren't I supposed to stay in and catch up on sleep??
On a good note, his cold does seem to be getting better with the saline drops, and i've got a thing that sucks the gunk out of his nose, also sleeping 4hours each time [touches several type of wood manically like watercress, lol] so everything does seem to be falling into place, and my anxious feeling are slowly getting less and less strong and frequent, but I might just be having a good day, lets see how things go.....

Oh yes - I had shallots and they made Victoria very windy and a little uncomfortable.

Nikki - hope you get some rest at your mum's. Use having her around to do things like have a shower/bath/put make-up on/go for a walk. I agree with everyone else - getting out makes such a difference. I manage to get out for an hour long walk every day - it's important for me to shift some of the huge amount of weight I have put on! But you are right - you do need to catch up on sleep - everything seems so much better when we're not bone-achingly tired.

AC - I agree - can't quite get over how much DD poos and wees!! I had an incident at around 11.30pm last night - she pooed all over the changing table - it was so runny and disgusting.

I will probably ask this on the BF/Feeding thread - but how long does it take for BF to get quicker? Feeds seem to take so long right now.

Also - is anyone else having the panics? I woke up last night during a brief sleep and couldn't get back to sleep as Victoria was so quiet (she is on her own in her cot) - I brought her into our room and woke her up in the process (by accident) - she is such a quiet sleeper. I want to know that she is ok every minute of the day. My mother just told me that she was the same - apparently Victoria and I share the fact that we are very quiet sleepers. She has settled really well this evening and I have had to check on her a couple of times as there isn't a peep on the monitor. I can't get over the strength of my feelings some times.

I am going back to work part time in three weeks and full time in seven weeks

Morning Ladies

Well, our amateur diagnosis of thrush was spot on as a few applications of Mummy's Canestan has returned Rosie's bottom to its former pink loveliness, thankfully.

Last night we even managed some reasonable sleep between feeds, too. I almost feel rested!

I suspect the answer to your BF question, flying, is that it depends on the baby!! But it's definitely worth canvassing for other people's experiences, I'd say.

And yes, I reckon we all have those "OMG Is s/he still breathing??!" panics - I certainly do! One benefit of having Rosie sleeping in the sling (not that she'd have it any other way!!) is that it's easy to check she's still alive if she has a quiet moment.

Hey ho, another day, another appointment with the paediatrician...

Oh flying cloud you had me nearly in tears at the way you describe the night panics. I am a second time Mum but I still have them and virtually have to shine a torch in Otto's face in the night if I wake up and can't hear him...he's in a basket right next to me too. A midwife told me premature babies have something called sleep apnea where they can stop breathing for 10-15 seconds then take a big gulp. I have not noticed Otto doing this but needless to say it out the fear of god into me. I don't mean to worry you even more, this only seems to apply to babies born earlier than 35 weeks anyway which excludes Otto who was born at 37.

On the BF query it has taken us a month to get fully established feeding going and he is down from 20 mins on each side to 15 mins and even takes himself off which he didn't do before. Still feels like I'm constantly feeding him though I feel braver about doing it in public now. Good luck with the baby boot camp at your Mums!

Managed to get to the mother & baby cinema yesterday, quite a triumph. Otto slept right through a long film, what a star!

Hello.

I just found this. Lots to read through! Seems there were lots of premature babies in February? My little girl was born on Feb 17, at 32 weeks.

Hows it going for everyone else? We have been out for a walk today (triumph!) and she's gone up a size for her babygros (up to one month now, such a big girl!)

x

Welcome lostlenore and congratulations!

We've just broken the 3kg threshold - the pediatrician put her at 3.05, yay! Newborn clothes still too big, though!

Pediatrician didn't know what to make of the sling and decided to disapprove on the grounds the baby should have more room to move. What cobblers! DH asked her how she thought people carried their babies in the days before prams and push chairs. I pointed out that as she grew we would carry her in different freer positions, but for now, she liked being snuggled up.

Honestly, what do they teach these people in medical school, huh?! Apart from that, everything is fine, apparently.

Rosie did a wee while she was being examined. Hah!!

IC lol at peeing on the exam table.

DS loves to pee every time we change his nappy, I had one this morning which went over the changing mat and landed on me and the carpet!

Night has been again with a 2 hours sleep break... According to my mum (who's a baby nurse) says that babies born during the night often are awake during it as for them day is night and night is day... but it does make sense as DS sleeps more more during the day than the night.

Hope everybody is doing well with BF and that nights are getting better

Poppy now weighs 3.6kg! She's getting chubby little knees and elbows and she's gone up from the 0.4th centile to the 9th. I'm so pleased, does anyone else get a little nervous when their baby gets weighed? I'm always worried she wont have put on enough.

She went 6 hours between feeds last night, I couldn't believe it when I woke up and it was 4am! She has fed 2 hourly since 8am though, if she sleeps like that overnight I'll feed her hourly during the day .

Flyingcloud I know what you mean about the panics, I sometimes wake up and have to reach over to put my hand on her tummy to check she's breathing.

Clappedout I'm jealous of your cinema trip, I want to go see 'the princess and the frog'.

xx

GF that's really interesting - Victoria was born in the morning at 10.20am (on the 10/02/2010 - I love her birth numbers!) and she is definitely a better sleeper at night (thank God!!)

AC I know what you mean about the weigh-ins. I tried weighing us both on the bathroom scales the other day and according to them she weighs under 2kg! If she had lost 1.5kg she wouldn't be capable of making the noise she makes.

Is anyone else swaddling? My panics stem from overheating (I keep her room at the lower end of the recommended scale) but she always seems to slip down the swaddling blanket - no matter how tight I wrap her and I am worried that she will suffocate herself.

FC I swaddle Poppy, she doesn't manage to wriggle down the blanket but I do put her feet still at the bottom of her moses basket so it would be a case of the blanket riding up rather than her slipping down IYSWIM. She sleeps soooo much better swaddled than not. I have worried about her overheating but I just stick a finger down the back of her neck as a measure of how warm she is, if it feels too hot I take a layer off.

Yep, we swaddle Rosie - but make sure she doesn't have too many layers of clothing on at the same time. We swaddle her to go in the sling too, she seem more comfortable that way.

For the first time she slept last night while being cuddled in bed by DH - yay! A quality couple of hours kip for me!!

hi. typing one handed as Thomas asleep on my other arm so excuse no capitals! have fallen off thread for a few days as have been trying to get to bed as early as possible. have now caught up on your posts and can say that i was definitely feeling overwhelmed for the first 6 weeks last time round and cried every day in that time. this time round, i am much less prone to tears, but still had a major rant at dh last night when he came home a whole 15 mins late on my first day with both ds's on my own-poor dh didn't quite know what had hit him or how to respond!! despite that, the day went like clockwork and i even managed to get toddler and baby asleep at the same time so that i slept for 90 mins in the afternoon! sure it won't always go that smoothly!!
i echo watercress' reassurance/tips and assure you it will all be a distant blurred memory soon. don't feel guilty if you are not enjoying every single moment-it's normal in my opinion to have low days when you wish things were different. sleep is definitely a huge determining factor regarding my mood - 5 hous means i am bright and breezy, less than that and i'm grumpy and struggle to be as positive.
have to say thomas is currently a very good baby, but struggling with reflux-he chokes/gags about 3-5 times after each feed which is terrifying. on gaviscon but it is stopping him from pooing so trying to get a balance. luckily i'm a bit of an expert on it as ds1 had it too-hoped we wouldn't have to go through it again though.
hope you all have a good day.

Hello ladies & babies

Am I the only one who is getting stretch marks now that the baby is out and the belly is deflating?
I am getting them on my thights and bikini line! I didn't get any during the full 38 weeks of pregnancy

off to sleep now until the next feed (due at 10pm)

nite nite

oo? my first 'official' post on the post-natal thread!

just had a quick read as waiting for Fin to drop off (haha)?

yep - first time i think tbh, i hated it, wanted to be back at work by 12 weeks when i felt completely out of control, was sore, knackered, miserable, etc etc? things got better, and here i am a second time - v different this time! different baby, different me i guess! early days yet, he's only a week old today, but a v different prospect from his big sister - for a start he sleeps! well, ocassionally, and bfeeding seems to be going far better?

gtg now, but just a couple of things whilst i think about them..

coughs/sniffles/colds - prop up head end of basket (on a towel or similar, just a little - helps everything run out!

snuffle babe (from pharmacy) worked for dd too...

oh, and blessed thistle for getting your milk production up?

good luck all, hope to check in again a bit more regularly, though still v sore from section, and covered in blisters, with leaky bits (yeuch, sorry tmi)

Hello Mums and babies

I've been quiet as I'm struggling with a thrush infection making bfing very sore and me quite miserable. Got a long course of antifungals now so fingers crossed this clears it. The deep pain is easing now so I'm not dreading the next feed like I was.

DS is doing great, and we are learning new tricks as first time parents. Proper burping has been a revelation and we have discovered the extractor fan in the kitchen can have a hypnotic effect putting him to sleep and calming his crying at 3am. Well sometimes anyway!

I've just heard the nappy get filled so change time and then a feed I think

Just heard that a friend has had her baby at 26 weeks and 5 days and I'm now feeling so very blessed to have had a healthy baby of 8lbs +. It has kind of put my mini moans and worries into perspective. Sounds like the baby is doing as well as can be expected but it's going to be a long road for them and the family are in a hospital a long way from home (and friends and family) as there was no room in their regional hospital for such an early arrival.