FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

Evening all. I managed to get the breast lumps to move yesterday with MW suggestions of lots of feeding, massage and a bath, plus a little expressing. Still got sore nipples but hanging in there as it is improving. We get fussing on the nipple sometimes and I've found that skin to skin can really help him settle at this point - might be worth a try. Either that or he gets his arms swaddled by his sides in a blanket. He objects to this right up until he gets his food! I've also nibbled his sharp nail ends off. As long as they are fed and warm, it doesn't matter how it's done.

We registered him today and Granny (much chilled out MIL now) came to visit, bless him, he charmed everyone wherever we went in town and I had my first semi public Breastfeed in the car. Got to work on the whole discreet thing still but he was yelling for food and I had it so I just whipped it all out...

Right, I reckon I can get an hour's kip before the next feed. I didn't mean to stay up this late but ended up browsing the NCT website (They have some feeding bras on deal for £3 so worth a look). The bravado bras were a good recommendation from the AN thread though and are pretty darned comfy. My lovely fresh sheets are calling me, I've been sweating so much they need changed all the time.

Anyone else loving the fact they can cut their own toenails now?

sunnybump - yes! I kept meaning to ask DH to cut my toenails but forgot /didn't want to impose any more unpleasant jobs on him and I came out of hospital with claws on my feet. I cut them yesterday and it was a very liberating feeling!

Thanks IC - I had a few tears last night with DH saying I felt like I was responsible for giving him a huge pile of stress. The problem is that he hasn't been able to take any time off work, other than the day I gave birth. I was in hospital for four days - as standard here - so he was stuck running errands for me, bringing me clean clothes, buying lots of figs and dates to get my bowels moving(!), etc etc and now we are home I am stuck on the sofa feeding/pumping all day. I begged him to take his paternity leave in the next few weeks and we might go and stay with his parents or something - he needs to be able to enjoy his daughter and bond with her - he is utterly fantastic with her at the moment, but I think he will regret missing out too much on these early days.

However I do have to say that I am incredibly lucky - and I hope I don't inspire too much rage here (or judgments) in that my mother has paid for us to have a maternity nurse. This has been a life-saviour for me on the feeding front, and I have managed to get two batches of 2.5 hour sleeps the last two nights and as I didn't sleep at all in hospital this has saved my sanity. She is a lovely lady who has been here since Monday and will stay until the end of next week. She is very discreet but is really knowledgeable on feeding.

Victoria feeds very well but I have a real struggle to get her on the breast. She has a little mouth and my (normally tiny) boobs are swollen and engorged by the time each feed comes around and the milk just spurts out everywhere and she fusses and kicks and cries for about twenty minutes before latching on (and scratches my poor nipples with her little razor nails!) I have started pumping a little before each feed to soften them up for her and it seems to be working.

Those of you struggling though - I really sympathise. I cried for hours on Friday and Saturday in the hospital (Friday was my birthday too) when Victoria had lost weight and the paediatrician said that they were going to keep us in for longer/start supplementing her feed. I felt like I was failing in my most important role by not being able to give her what she wanted. Luckily my milk came in and she put on 80 grammes overnight and they let us out. But I think I would have failed at the BF hurdle without the support of the hospital midwives/nurses. It's not always easy/straightforward and I would urge you to get support either on the MN BF threads or through a professional (not sure how you go about that, but the BF threads will help you find it). When in hospital I rang the bell for help at every feed during my four days. I may have driven them mad but it worked (so far anyway).

And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. By the time our babes are in their teens they'll be out at weekends drinking alcopops and eating all sorts of crap anyway, undoing all the good work we're putting in now

Sound advice sunnybump, such a tough time for all of us. Very jealous of your maternity nurse! Glad to hear other babies take ages to latch on and get cross too in that I'm not alone.

Struggling a bit here. My LO seems to be feeding for ages so when I take him off after over an hour sometimes assuming he's full after a few minutes he looks starving again and cries for food, so disheartening. Having to top up in evenings with EBM but now looking like I will have to do this during the day as well. Maybe he has got used to getting a bottle and has got lazy?

Btw I called the NCT breast feeding helpline, they are very good but one suggestion the advisor came up with involved lying with my baby between my boobs and waiting for him find his way to a nipple, that can take several hours! Nice idea but with a 2 yr old DD I don't see how this is feasible, is this the lot of the poor second child?!

Hi girls,

A bit of a quiet moment at home, so I've got time to post

Nikki87 have you try to eat prune / drink prune juice? It may make thinks easier to pass and it may help your mind? But I will also check with the mw.

I meet the health visitor for the 1st time yesterday and I'm still not sure what to think of her! She arrived with a scale in order to weigh Sam and asked me when he was last checked so I said it was by the mw last Thursday, so she decided it ill be okay and she'll weigh him next week. The thing is that she has no notes from our files stating what his weight was last Thursday or that he went to ICU, or about his infection!!! For the full visit she kept referring to his birth weight (which was 11 days ago) and I do know that he has put on weight since!

She also checked his earing and his left ear needs to be rechecked has it did not fail but did not give any result... I am pretty sure he can hear on that side because he reacts to noises on his left.

Sorry for the rant but I was expecting more 'efficiency' from the health visitor!

Quick question to those with toddlers at home as well as the new baby... How do you manage?????? My dd1 is the sweetest little girl and my dh is still home this week and pretty much hands on full time, taking her out for walks etc. Despite this I am really struggling and god knows how I'll cope next week when I'm on my own with both children. Dd2 is already on expressed breast milk supplemented by formula because my milk supply is low, but I am now finding it difficult to find the time to express, never mind go back to breastfeeding! How do you all manage?

hi guys,

Jaime-Leigh is asleep and dp is on the playstation so i have free moment to catch up and post...

im feeling quite surprised at how im coping with little and broken sleep, dp is finding it alot harder bless him, feels a bit like jakyl and hyde sometimes with the stress creeping in at night time when were trying to sleep. and happy and smiley although tired during the day. all im worried about is that im going to hit a brick wall when the tiredness is just going to suddenly hit me and im not going to be able to cope any longer. anyone found this to be the case? should i prepare myself?

im also finding myself dreading every other feed as my left breast is unbelievably toe curling, teeth grittingly painful! i have to syke myself up to get her on. when i was in hospital the mw would say she was latched on right and also latch her on for me but nothing has stopped the pain. i really do not know what to do.

been given antibiotics for my nether regions my mw suggested i go the doctors and ask for some as she could see i was really worried about it possibly getting infected. the doc thinks its open now so have got my antibiotics to fight off any potential nastiness occurring down there. not as painful as what they were, hurts more after alot of walking. been told the antibiotics may make mine and Jaime-Leighs bowels looser (sorry if tmi!) i am intrigued to see how this will turn out with lo!! how can the chicken korma sauce type stuff be any looser??!!

Hi there all you Feb '10 mums! I wish you all the very best for these exciting next few weeks... I can't wait to join you on this adventure!

Anyway, I'm crashing this thread from Feb '10 AN as I wonder if any of you could tell me the French translation of "membrane sweep"?? I'm having a check-up tomorrow and want to see if I can get one done then...

Thanks and goodluck!

Hey, Ladies

Good news for us - took Rosie in to the pharmacist to weigh her (all pharmacies have baby scales here in Spain - is it the same in France?) and she's up to 2.75kg (from a low of 2.17kg) - Once she gets to 3kg, I can space her feeds out and start phasing out the supplement (although I've started doing that already - her bf is improving enormously, so she doesn't need as much - only sicks it up if I try and force it on her)

Feeding is a nightmare, one way or another, ain't it?! Are you on the Lansinoh, ems?
For those with babies fighting the breast, you may find some good suggestions here - could be too fast or too slow let-down causing the frustration. Or... who knows?!

Clappedout have you thought about using a lactation aid (SNS) to supplement, if you're worried about giving too many bottles? They're not cheap (and too much of a faff for the night feeds IMO), but worth considering. Keeps the babe at your breast too.

Ooh, a maternity nurse, flying - what a great present! Sounds like you needed it. I got squat sleep during my four/five days in hospital too, I know what you mean.

GF Rosie also has one ear not working at this stage - her right. Apparently, it's most likely because of her prematurity, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed the problem will fix itself in time. Good luck with yours too.

Toenail cutting - yes!!!
Chicken Korma

Anyone else got a really noisy sleeper? Rosie is loud as hell when she's in REM - squeaks, grunts, gulps, cries - I'm always on the edge thinking she's waking up hungry or distressed, but it's all in her sleep. Quite common, I'm told, especially in preemies.

And how's overnight sleeping going? Rosie will go down (snuggled into my bf pillow!!) during the day, but will only sleep on me at night. Luckily the wrap sling comes into its own and I just tie her on so I don't have to worry about her sliding off etc. which means I can grab some kip myself (albeit slightly propped up on my back).

There's been a study saying men can't deal as well with lack of sleep physiologically - women apparently get better quality sleep in short doses, so can survive on less. It's to prepare us for - yep, you guessed it, - having babies...

Blimey, what a long post - have two hands for a change, hence the verbal squits. Back to one-hand now for expressing...

Laterz!

I'm really lucky that DH is still off work so can be with us both this week too. I think without that support it would be so difficult so it's good you're getting help FlyingCloud. IMO whether its family, a friend or a paid nurse doesn't matter. As long as it's helping you take care of your baby.

Ems I went through a phase like that with my nipples but they are getting better. Have you had it looked at to see why? I'm hoping that in a few weeks the sheer convenience of being able to feed anywhere without any sterilising or preparation will make it worth the agony now. Yes I'm breastfeeding cause I'm inherently lazy

Sorry HappySurfWidow my French doesn't stretch to that, hopefully someone will be along soon though.

Wohoo! My sling has finally arrived. We have just managed to wrap it around me and pop her in for the first time, and have to say a lot more comfy than I anticipated... I'm sure it will make life easier for me once DH is back at work. For those interested, it's a Kari-me.

My other hurdle of the day was trying out expressing. For some reason I'd got quite nervous about this, but actually was OK. Now got to try the second part which is getting her t drink from the bottle. For those of you mixing BF and expressing, how do you use the expressed milk? As a top up or as a single feed? I've really very little idea about how much she drinks normally.

Good luck all...

Hi comeon

Yay, the sling club!! As I type, Rosie is peacefully(ish) snoozing in my spare/summer sling, the Carlin Bleu short wrap. My other is the lilac Kari-me. DH and me are big fans, already using them in preference to the pram combo when we're out and about. She sleeps in the sling at night too - I'd go insane without it, I think. Lots of curiosity when people here see us wearing Rosie - it's not very common in Spain, unless you happen to be African!

EBM - I would use it as a top-up so she can keep up her positive relationship with your breasts. Depends on how big she is, but probably at least an oz/30mls per feed, if not more. Offer her your breasts first, then give her the bottle. At night, you may want to give her a little breast, then the top-up, then back on the breast to soothe her back to sleep - that seems to work well with my LO. In fact, she has the bottle, then gets het up during the nappy change (!) then gets soothed by the breast and we both get some more shut-eye until the next feed.

At the moment I'm giving my 2.75kg baby 20-30mls top-up with each feed, every 2.5 hours. Overnight I space the feeds a bit further apart and give her 40mls top up. HV said once she's at 3kg, I can space out feeds and reduce the top-up (if she's taking the breast well by then).
HTH!

Cool thing about EBM is it stores well, unlike formula. details here plus you don't need to sterilise everything between each feed, just wash with warm soapy water and sterilise once a day. We bought a microwave steriliser for a tenner and it's ace - very quick and doesn't use much electricity.

I'm no expert, but this is the advice I've been given.

Good luck!

Hi everyone, can I join in here please? Had DS1 Joseph on the 13th and brought him home last night in his sling too, comeonbishbosh but ours was a premaxx which seems ok.

I'm also expressing today, I have an Ameda coming soon, so to tide me over bought a manual avent one. I've managed to squeeze out 20ml so far, which is half a normal feed. I want to give EBM for all feeds, but that's looking seriously optimistic at the moment.

my left breast has got worse today, bleeding now. since then iv avoided feeding her with it as i dont want her to drink blood or make it worse. starting to worry that she may not be getting enough from the one breast. i am using lasinoh not sure how much it is helping though. also using nipple guards which make me look like maddonna and i keep having to empty the guard on the left breast as its constantly expresing. what do you do when your nipple becomes this damaged? do you continue to use it grit your teeth and use lasinoh like crazy or do you not use it until its healed properly? i want to do the right thing by her, im sure my right breast cant solely feed her and satisfy her. any help would be gratefully appreciated

Hello and thanks for all the positive comments - it's a relief to know I'm not the only one struggling with feeding and giving the odd formula top-up (and feeling guilty for it - I completely agree about the pressure that is associated with BF).

It's going a bit better here and I'm feeling much better. Today at least!

Interested to hear that some of you are finding your LOs fighting at the breast and not latching on despite being hungry. My DD1 was exactly the same and I found that swaddling her with her hands in really did the trick. You can do it with a sheet or blanket, you don't need a special swaddling blanket. Worth a try?

DD1 has been at nursery the last couple of days and it's been much easier without her around. What a bad mummy I am to say such things. It's not that I wish her away, but juggling the two is as difficult as I thought it would be. How are those of you with more than two coping? I guess I could just relax and allow more TV...

Oh ems ouch...

I reckon this one is worth asking on the bf/bottle feeding thread here

Hey Initio - I started with a measly 20mls, but now I'm getting 3-5 oz per session - the more you do it, the more you get, but it takes a couple of days to really get going. Electric pump helps!!

Glad you're feeling a bit better Watercress Ems can you get some advice in person? My MW's have been excellent. When I had bleeding nipples(which HAS improved - there is hope) the MW said it wouldn't hurt him at all. I also have a local BF advisor I can call who introduced herself at one of our AN classes.

The NCT have a breastfeeding helpline 0300 3300771 and LaLeche's is 0845 1202918. Maybe they can put you in touch with someone locally?

Glad you're feeling a bit better Watercress

lol I'm repeating myself, baby brain

HappySurfWidow - I am not sure what the French for sweep is but my gynae offered to "ouvrir le col" - in the end it didn't work as I was too closed. Hope that helps.

Ems definitely ask for advice on the BF threads, as suggested as you need experienced peeps on this - you could ask mawbroon as I think she does a bit of work with BF in RL or at least she seems very knowledgeable. Oh - have just read sunnybump's post - am baby-brained too. Yes, so give them a call so they can help.

Swaddling is amazing I find - although I can't swaddle Victoria for feeds too much as she tends to fall asleep. It really helps to settle her though at night or after a feed if she is grizzling - although I try and continue until she settles on the breast - I think though that when they self-settle on the breast they can end up 'dummy sucking' at the end which can put a lot of strain on your nipples.

I know I mentioned about DH already but I am starting to worry a little bit. Following my tears last night which helped me get things out and sorted he seems really down today. I left him for half an hour with Victoria this afternoon when I went to post some letters and when I cam back he seemed a bit stressed about her not sleeping. I had planned to take her with me but it was raining quite hard. He was almost relieved to go back to work. I suspect this is normal, but I keep overhearing him say things like how this stage is stressful and not much fun because all Victoria does is cry, sleep and eat. If it didn't seem a stupid thing to say I would think he has baby blues. He just seems a bit down. I guess it's hard for men as they don't have the same hormonal ups and downs that we do - the ups that make being a new parent seem like some kind of paradise and the downs that go with it.

If anyone has any advice on how to get a DH to bond with his daughter and enjoy parenthood then I would greatly appreciate it! I am just surprised as he is such a wonderful, emotional person and he was really desperate to be a daddy and to see him struggling is quite weird. I have seen the most hardened of male friends melt into simpering wrecks at the birth of their children and I always imagined DH to be like this.

Hope everyone has a good night.

GF i can't seem to find anywhere that sells prune juice around where i live, silly i know. but its not necessarily the issue of flushing me out, but the [TMI alert] pushing that im worried about, i feel like i need to go to the loo, like you normally would, but don't want to push it out [again sorry if TMI] asked he MW at her visit today and she just told me to keep taking my lactulose, which i have been doin since leaving the hosp as the mw there told me the same thing... just have to see how i go i suppose...

and i really like this idea of a sling, could one of you ladies with one give me some good advice regarding them, eg is it from birth, when can i use it, etc etc, would be mch appreciated as if i can use while sleeping will be a godsend, as really not sleeping well with almost hourly feeds and sore nethers.... sigh

Hi Nikki

Re slings - there are loads of different types around - have a look on the MN product reviews and the sling/backpack forum to help you decide.

comeon and I have both gone for wrap slings - long lengths of cloth, essentially. We both have a stretchy wrap, which can be used from birth to 15kg. Apparently, as the baby gets heavier, the stretchy wraps get more - uh - stretchy, so a non-stretchy wrap may be better as they get bigger.

There's a lot of evidence, anecdotal and otherwise, that baby-wearing is beneficial. For me, the best thing is that you can have your baby cuddled up to you, while still having two hands free!

this is a great website for anyone considering wrapping their baby - check it out!

HTH

flying, I know it's tough when you've got lovely dreams of DH bonding with Victoria straight away and it doesn't seem to be happening... but loads of men find it difficult to bond with a newborn and only really feel full-fledged paternal when the baby starts to react and respond more. He's probably having a few issues dealing with the massive change in your life together and the shift in your relationship that is inevitable when a child comes along.

I reckon just give him time and lots of love yourself (when you can!! reassurance, anyway) and do what you can to encourage him to be hands-on involved with Victoria (nappies, baths, winding, cuddling, taking for walks etc.) without putting on too much pressure. It'll come naturally, but you may need to let the father-daughter bonding happen in its own time.

God, sorry if I'm sounding like an irritating know-it-all on these issues - I've been applying my brain to parenting themes obsessively for a while now as I try and work it out for myself, sorry if I'm getting on people's nerves.

Incidentally, if you haven't read it already, this is excellent for helping get your head around motherhood - great chapter on the effects on husbands/partners, too...

Inmaculada - thank you so much for your advice and it is greatly appreciated. You sound caring and switched on - not bossy at all.

Nikki you have my sympathy. You should be able to get prune juice in any largish supermarket. If your bowels are looser due to increased fibre then you won't have to push and it should save you the effort and uncomfortable feeling which would help alleviate the very real fear you have of doing a poo.

I sound like a bossy know it all but am just trying to reassure you.

I would also suggest oatmeal - porridge. I started eating a lot of porridge in pg and it really helped my bowel movements as well as my blood sugar levels as it is a slow-release carb and I found I snacked less during the morning. It also aids lactation.

Is there anything that you know gets you going? For instance prunes, figs, dates? Some things have the reverse effect on me - if I eat too much dried fruit I end up with trapped wind and no movements at all.

Hope you feel better and hope someone has some sling advice. The Kari-Me that others are using sounds fab. DH's family already think I'm a nutter with all the bits and bobs I am buying so I am not going to buy a sling just yet! I wanted to get a rain cover for the pushchair so I could go out walking and they just looked at me and asked why I would go out when it's raining...

Morning, well afternoon really, but we were up feeding a lot of the night so I just kept going back to sleep!

Imaculada, I love the reviews on that Motherhood book so have just ordered it along with Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. I read loads of pregnancy and childbirth but only have one practical baby book.

Flying I think IC has hit the nail on the head, it will probably just take time. Men can get PostNatal Depression too I think. I'm sure it was in one of the AN leaflets we were given - so if it does carry on, encourage him to get some help. Depression is a horrid illness. DH got given a card with an internet support group for new dads too, I can look it out...

Nikki great advice already and I don't think I can add anything, other than, yes - it was scary for me too.

Thanks for the reminder re slings/ carriers. We have 2. An upright traditional style front carrier which he likes for walks and a BabaSling which he screamed his head off when we tried it before. Just given it another try post feed and it's working really well. I am typing with both hands and made DH a coffee! I think it's more of a newborn thing because of the way it goes over a shoulder, but might try it for the night feeds too. I got them on ebay second hand as I didn't know if he'd like them and they're pretty dear new. There is a group called www.slingmeet.co.uk which has groups and people bring along slings to try each others. Worth looking to see if there's one in your area?

Have a very good friend travelling up to see us this afternoon - very exciting for her to meet DS for the first time. Better get dressed!

IC brilliant thanks, love the idea of being able to havw 2hands, lol! but do they support the babys neck properly?
flying you dont sound bossy at all, would tinned prunes have the same effect as prune juice?
sunny il check them out, hopefully be somewhere near me, but im thinking i prob will get one.

getting a little bit of the baby blues, but think its more cause its hard to be mobile with my stitches being so sore, im sure once theyv [eventually] healed il be ok, speaking of which, how long do stitches take the heal/become less uncomfortable?

Yes they do, Nikki. no probs there.

baby blues = chocolate and a hug or two from DH