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AUG 08 - Toddzilla vs Mum-ra!

1001 replies

cyteen · 13/01/2010 22:13

Once more with feeling

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sambo303 · 17/01/2010 14:00

hi!
sazzles I loved that movie too; we got unforgiven to watch but switched off after 5 mins as so violent and we were eating at the time. re dc 2 dp says i have to 'convince' him its a good idea... it makes no logical/economic sense as we will be poorer and get no sleep for longer and our house is tiny so not many pluses except I dont like to think of ds as an only, it's good to have siblings

cyteen great news your dp 's set went down well

lovely day here, going to take ds down to my parents house this afternoon for his weekly bath (they have a water softener!)

SazzlesA · 17/01/2010 14:08

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TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 14:14

Sambo, explain to DP that having two dcs is good down the road when you each need elder care. The load can be split between them and they will always have each other to share the emotional load of it all. This might be a crazy concept but it's how families were considered in the olden days. Well that and they'd also have more children to tend the farm, etc etc.

TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 14:16

Oh and I thought like Sazzles too at first, only wanting one. Then the whole together-for-each-other thing crossed my mind so I found a way to make that happen.

hotterpotter · 17/01/2010 15:08

Phew, made it there and back safely

Temple Newsam farm was a bit rubbish though, and very muddy, but feel better for having driven further than Asda for a change

Miamla · 17/01/2010 15:27

a million 'save the date' phonecalls made and now having a break

Miamla · 17/01/2010 15:27

congrats on your drive hots!

RedLentil · 17/01/2010 16:37

Great driving missus - how fab to have the freedom to roam.

Can't help thinking of what Cyteen has lost when I'm reading about siblings. When I watch my oldest two together, I often think of those adorable pics of Cy and Si together as children and want her to see how much they are responsible for shaping each others' identities.

Whatever happens as they grow older, it is plain to see that the give and take of growing up as part of a team changes the dna of who a child will be in breathtakingly brilliant ways.

My absolute favourite bit of being a parent is standing at the back door watching them together when they have forgotten I exist.

DS and dd2 are practising high-5s as I type. Now DS is off fixing dd1's lego dinosaur. Later they will kill each other, but lets leave that aside for a moment

RedLentil · 17/01/2010 16:57

God, I'm even more pompous than usual this weekend.

Am not of course saying everyone should have two or three. DH's family had two but as far as I could see couldn't work out how to make them feel equally important and dh and his brother have no relationship which is awful.

Whatever love you get in your family, whatever its shape, affects you fundamentally. I just get pleasure from watching that lifelong love as it starts out iyswim.

GladioliBuckets · 17/01/2010 17:50

Miamla Another interesting hotel to add to your Bristol list for guests.

RedLentil · 17/01/2010 18:51

That looks lovely Buckets.

Lovely to hear about Ds1's fun at the book launch too (obv. not the vomming bit)

For the honeymoon, Dh and I have stayed in Crickhowell and at the Bear Inn Cyteen mentioned. It is fabulous. In fact if DS was named in the manner of Brooklyn Beckham he would probably be called Crickhowell.

A gorgeous part of the world.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 17/01/2010 19:32

lol at Crickhowell red. sambo I hope you manage to agree on the best solution, very awful situation.
I no I am lucky as I have two, but I am one of 6 (ok so I am part of a reconstitued family) not sure if that is the right word, but I love it, and had always dreamed I would have at least four.

As hard as it can be,like sazzles and red says, it is just as rewarding.
It is hard in ways I didn't imagine, as I obviously knew it wouldn't be a breeze. If that makes any sense.

I think another big factor in me and dh not being quite right atm is to do with me wanting another baby, and he does not.

I can't seem to squash this broodiness no matter how hard I try.

hotter well done on the driving.

Someone came to see 'lottie' today, and she was just absolutley perfect, bonded almost instantly,(her and charlotte)

Had a weepy moment in the stable on my own with her, as not sure if she sensed something, but as I was crouched down cleaning her hooves and legs, she kept nuzzling and kissing my face. [sob]

The gilr let me know earlier that she does definately want her, and is hoping to collect her next Sunday. but .

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 17/01/2010 19:33

oops. I meant know, and reconstituted.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 17/01/2010 19:36

When I mentioned the other day about DH just buying me things.
buckets he just got me this thispage

cyteen · 17/01/2010 19:42

Aw no1 that is and at the same time. Knowing that she has gone to a loving home will be a real comfort to you long term though (as you are clearly aware). Sounds to me like Lottie was thanking you for finding her such a kind new owner

Red that is very kind of you to think of me. I love hearing about everyone's DC and their developing sibling relationships, even as it makes me more aware of everything I've lost. It helps keep the knowledge alive of who we were

OP posts:
oopsandbabycoconut · 17/01/2010 19:54

Evening all

We are almostr packed and starting to feel a little nervous about the whole flight thing. If one more person askes if I am mad travelling all that way with a toddler I will hang them from the coathook in out porch! People and children fly everyday all over the world and survive - do I look particularly feeble?

Cyteen - sounds like a good weekend without DP and a great weekend for him.

Sambo - HUGS - I can't really offer any advice on the subject as I have yet to produce no2 and as much as she is the most wanted creature I had settled myself that there was no chance she would come to be but due to different reasons to you and your DH.

No1 - about lottie but at least you have found someone she bonded with who is 'right' for her.

Sazzles -hope you had a good B&Q trip, that has to be the ultimate punishment for being naughty!

HP - yay for long journeys but to mud.

TS -Hellooooooo

Miamla - please things are whizzing along at pace.

Am likley to post again from the airport as DH and DD are more than likely to run off and do something more interesting (eat most likely!)than sit with me in the lounge.

TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 20:18

Oops you are very right. People travel around the world with children all the time. I know many personally and all seem to do it quite well actually. Wishing you and the family a wonderful journey.

Miamla will you be having someone manage your Skype account during the wedding? I'd prefer a seat close to the front and not hindered by someone with a big hat.

No1 very good news about Lottie.

Reese only wants CHEESE today. Sazzles could you send over a bit more to please here. I had a perfectly good roast chicken for lunch and all I heard was CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE. Here's hoping the chicken soup this evening goes over better.

Pilates is WORK today. I shook in so many of the moves. I will hurt tomorrow for sure. The owner brought up a teacher training seminar that hasn't been announced yet. It's set for August. I kinda perked up. That might be something I'm interested in. We shall see.

After balancing my checkbook it appears I've overspent this week. Now I have to wait till the banks open on Tuesday to move more money into my account. GEEZZZZ this is not how I wanted to start the year off. LOL!!!

The girls are quiet.....must go see what's up.

TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 20:31

Before I'd walked out of the bedroom I heard a crash and then tears. Reese was trying to walk around the living room with her blanket on her head. She was fine until she came to a wall.

hotterpotter · 17/01/2010 20:39

TS whoops to overspending! Hope it is not too serious and you recover quickly next week. I have a massive credit card bill for this month (new laptop and new car insurance among other things) so once that's been paid I will be able to see more clearly the perilous state of our finances

Oops hope you have a fantastic time, I'm sure you will Your DD sounds like such a doll I'm sure the stewardesses will be queieng up to play with her on the plane!

Cyteen glad your DP had a successful evening. How did your muffins turn out? [hungry]

No1 for you but also that you have found a good new owner for your pony. I guess she wasn't pg then, which you were wondering when we met in Sheffield. There was a donkey foal at the farm today [melt] Time will go fast until it is the right time to have another pony

Red you are not pompous you are lovely and articulate Know exactly what you mean about the sibling thing, it is beautiful to watch their relationship develop. This is why I want another, to breed a herd of siblings...

Sambo I don't think sense or economics come into it much, there will never be quite enough money, no matter how many DC / much money you have, or enough space either come to that! They expand to completely fill your space and empty your wallet but also fill your heart too [soppy]

Oh and it gives you extra opportunity to get nits too...

TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 20:44

HP eeeeeuuuuuuuuwwwwwww again.

Okay ladies I've added all you SKYPERS to a "GROUP". Now I wonder what happens if I try to call "the group". Maybe it's the best way for us all to be at Miamla's wedding????

hotterpotter · 17/01/2010 20:47

Thanks for all the woo hoos on my driving too I nearly chickened out after stalling three times at junctions on the way to the motorway - even pulled into Morrisons carpark to turn around and go home but DD was so disappointed I braced myself and carried on. After all, unlikely to stall going at 70mph . I got beeped at on the slip road () but DH said the other driver was being a twat as he was miles behind me. Don't know how you all do it on busy days though...

poppysocks · 17/01/2010 21:04

Have an fab time oops (as if you wouldn't! ). Mucho . In terms of making the trip with DD, a friend of mine did - there and back- with her two, aged 3 and a bit and 6 months in the autumn. She survived and said people were far more kind and understanding than she expected.

Sorry to hear there are disagreements re: DC2 sambo. DD1 was a v. tricky baby, she was unplanned and we simply weren't ready for the passing of our selfish youth and DH became very aware of the responsibility in terms of both providing financially and emotionally for her and just didn't feel he could do enough for two. I ended up writing a big list of reasons to have a second. As he didn't have a very strong relationship with his brother those companionship arguments didn't hold much weight for him (although do massively for me) but the ones that did resonate for him were the more depressing ones, including TS' reasoning about our old age. He was thinking about it when a very beloved, close relative of his died. He realised that, having shared a childhood with his brother, it was only he who really understood how he felt because of their shared experiences. That night he said he thought we should give it a go. That's why DD2 has the middle name she has - despite that fact that it made coming up with something we agreed with so difficult . I have something important to thank her for as well as all that DH shared with her.

I don't have any advice sambo but do have enormous sympathy. As I said, I actually did write a list of pros and cons and that seemed to help DH both to realise that I was serious and that there are some uncomfortable reasons for having a second. The joy and delight of seeing your children growing together is something that he won't imagine if he doesn't want to but my goodness it is amazing and although DH took a while to come to terms with DD2 (he's really really not a baby person) he feels it's as right now to have them both as I always knew it would/should be.

So sorry you're still feeling broody no1. As I've said before I always wanted more DCs (also from a larger family) and totally expected to be feeling broody now. I'm really surprised to say that I'm just not. One of the things that helped was actually a thread I saw on here where people were listing their reasons for wanting a DC3. I did that and the reasons against. The reasons against were huge and not just sensible/unemotional. The 'for' list basically consisted of 1. in case something happens to one of the DDs and 2. because I'd just like another one. The latter is a ridiculously strong biological urge, but it's helped me to identify it purely as that and not a good reason to stretch our family beyond what is right for us.

Lovely, unexciting weekend here, just mooching around the four of us. DH and I got out last night too and and had a good, proper catch-up.

Glad DH's gig went well cyteen, that the M1 treated you well hp and that you unearthed a good burlesque costume gladioli. Hope DD1 'enjoyed' her B&Q visit sazzles and you've survived today dizzy.

I'm impressed if anyone's made it to the end of this post... Sorry!

TwilightSurfer · 17/01/2010 21:12

Poppy I finished your post...no problem.

DD1 is trying to teach Reese to read after watching an infomercial where an 18 month old was reading flash cards without assistance. I'll leave them be.

SazzlesA · 17/01/2010 21:29

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poppysocks · 17/01/2010 21:45

Phew! Haven't chased you all away.

Forgot to add to all the others no1 with a and that Lottie has found a new home. BiL adopted a cat this weekend, who (irony or ironies) had been given up due to a family break-up. The cat will give him so much and he is already smitten with her. It will work both ways for Lottie and her new owner.

Bah! to 18 month olds reading from flashcards TS. DD1 couldn't manage that, let alone DD2 and I have no doubt that they both will be fine. All in their own good time. So not a pushy (read lazy) parent here.

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