May 09 - The Sleepless Babies Club, All Dubious Fashions Welcome

[Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa]

Ladies.

spangle Dd1 was weaned after I started work in a response to her bottle refusal. So for a week she had litterally nothing during the day and patiently waited for me to come home. So she wasn't on huge amounts of solids at first and OK. When expressing, do you think you get letdown? From the amounts you're getting I think you might not. It takes a bit of experimenting to find out how to trigger your letdown, but the difference in amounts is huge. I think the trick is to find something that relaxes you. (In my case that's not thinking about expressing/feeding, nor looking at the pump, but clearing my mind and relax by watching brainless telly/reading similar mags). Also trying another pump might work, like I've experienced. For me those things make a difference between getting just under an ounce and 3-4 oz EBM. I wouldn't go for soy milk as soy itself is also a common allergen. It might be worth talking to the HV about what milk to try after H's 1st b'day.

The dcs have finally finished watching Terminator. Oddly enough it's dd1 who really liked it and kept asking for the rest of the film. She really is a strange child .

I was watching C play today and I realised that dd1 had all the signs that she was a tomboy even as a baby. She was never all that interested in faces and other stuff baby girls are supposed to like, while C is. So I think C will be my girly girl when she's older I still find it amazing how different each and every dc is, even from birth. It's wonderful to watch.

I can't remember who mentioned their lo 'dancing' to music, but C does it too. When there's music (especially her lion toy) she sits there rocking to the music

Ooh and remember my posh neighbours. Well they're moving from being my right side neighbours to left side neighbours. They must be rich, because they actually hired a removal company to move their furniture accross!! DH and I couldn't believe it!

x-post llare

Glad to hear your course went well. I think my own adult interaction in the last few months is similar to yours (except that I've got the schoolgates too)

My DH thinks trousers should be banned for women, they don't look good he says. The thinks the same about flat shoes and short hair. I don't pay too much attention to him though

Ooooooh!

I forgot that I did have some news for you. My friend had her twins on Tuesday. They are very tiny as they are just 31 weeks but so, so cute. I can't wait to see them.

Thanks llare and belgina llare I am at how much G ate today! In comparison, H had 1/8 slice of toast plus half a pot of fruit puree for breakfast, a couple of handfuls of veg rice and the other half of the puree for lunch, and 1/4 ham sandwich plus half a pot of Petit Filou (I keep trying him with it on HV advice). And that's a good day!

belgina I'd heard that about soy. I plan to speak to HV about it - last time she said it didn't matter atm because his main nutrition is breastmilk, but clearly it will do when he's not having much from me. I don't often get a let down when I'm expressing. I'll try again and see. BTW what brand of pump was it you switched to?

Spangle - wrt to expressing, I agree with Belgina in that I have to completely forget I'm expressing and watch mindless tv to maximise my output. I also found that my initial pump (Tommee Tippee hand pump) didn't suit me and my Medela mini electric will normally get me 3-4oz within 15-20mins at the right time of day.
I sympathise with the worry about what to do with feeds at nursery. O is still having 4 or 5 BFs a day although the daytime ones are getting less intense. I'm hoping to be able to wean him off in the next 4 weeks and he is starting to drink more water and eat more.

Belgina - I shock myself at the rubbish and unflattering outfits I wear but DH has never commented (thank goodness!) I keep looking at some lovely skirts or leggings/tunics but just think I'd look rubbish in them and I don't bother

Llare - glad you had a good day. Your plan sounds like a good one.

Llare - congrats to your friend on her twins

spangle- if I didn't spoon feed S he would hardly eat anything at all, as he tends to throw his food off the side of the high chair .

I also wouldn't worry too much about the milk thing - my DS1 wouldn't take much when he started at 9mo and only started drinking more when he was 12mo and on cows milk. Last week on his first day at nursery, S refused his first bottle of formula, and only took 1oz in a cup in the afternoon. He had a big feed once we got home . Then he refused a bottle again yesterday morning, but took 5oz in the afternoon. And today he had 3oz of EBM (I'd expresssed 6oz) and 5oz of formula. So you may find that H will take a bottle/cup of EBM/FF if it is the only thing on offer. And you may find expressing easier when you have been away from H and therefore full of milk.

belgina- my DH has a thing for skirts too, and i hardly ever wear them. For my birthday he bought me a denim mini skirt- he'd searched for ages to find it. He really wants me to wear it around the home for a treat for him, but i haven't yet . I think my libido is slowly coming back, probably because S is sleeping better. But i'm still not at the initiating stage (unless i've had a lot of wine ) and poor DH keeps trying his hardest to get me in the mood. He even asked if i wanted a bath with him the other night- something i used to want but he was never that bothered about, so he really is trying, poor love.

pula @ your DH. At least he's taking steps, which is better than mine, lol. I do wear skirts often, because I do like wearing them, but so far it really hasn't been the weather for it. A skirt with sturdy hiking boots to walk through the snow just isn't a good luck

llare Congrats to your friend. Great news they managed to get to the 30's. That always improves the longterm outcome

spangle H had a massive amount compared to my C, if that makes you feel any better. She had a few bites of a jam sandwich this morning, 1 strip of my cheese toasty thing I had while out and about for lunch + 1 bite of pear (which wasn't approved of and quickly chucked over the side) and finally 1 carrot stick, a few bites of a strip of chicken and a lick of potato and 1 choc button. Considering how big she is, I really must have super full fat milk Oh and I swapped my tommee tippee for an avent isis hand pump and can get 3 oz in no time (maybe 5 mins). I do have a strong letdown so it comes out very quick and a lot when it happens.

I brushed her teeth properly for the 1st time ever too, she quite liked the toothpaste and to my big surprise she didn't try to suck or bite the brush either.

Llare great news for your friend. Hope they are all doing well. IKWYM about interacting with the internet more than people. Often, at work, I do wish the emoticon would be available for me to use instead of having to speak to and deal with fuckwits people. That, and would be used alot !

Belgina what is it with men and skirt ! Honestly ! I have to admit, like grumps in the end I gave in because I thought that I needed to get back into it, and the longer I left it the more awkward it got. I'm glad I did because it was quite nice in the end . I do think he is being unreasonable asking you to initiate things, but I can see a bit of a point of view that says he doesn't want to keep on badgering you if you don't feel like it, IYKWIM

Ses exciting puppy news

evening all.

llare, glad the course went well. adult world? is there one? and congrats to your friend!

belgina, about your DH's 'preferences', best to ignore him as you do! men and skirts, mine prefers me in one as well but I'm living in jeans at the moment, thankyouverymuch.

grumpy, 'doesn't take too long...' . problem is for me, it takes too long for me to get into the mood (i'm stubborn). and I'd rather sleep at the moment.

ses, any news on the puppy? how exciting! sad reason but a happy new pup.

looby, how's the hair? did you get it dyed?

running, i do the inside out jumpers as well. i paid close attention to how I dressed today. must have been ok as I went to a friend's this morning and she didn't look at me strangely.

spangle, Harper is a bit like pula's S: most of her handheld food goes on the floor so I need to spoon feed her which she seems to enjoy with the right food (fromage frais, bolognese ragu, fruit purees).

she's down to 3 milk feeds a day: 1st thing in morning, 2/3pm, and 630/7pm. she has water or juice at lunchtime. I'm going to offer formula next week for the afternoon feed.

this time I don't feel too rushed to finish BF though. I figure I've saved ££ by not buying formula (expensive!).

ok, got to run. DH is away again (will be like this most of Jan) I've just finished my supper and need to clean under the kitchen table. Inlaws have our dog (the Hoover) and I really notice adifference in the weaning mess as a result.

still cleaning the kitchen. well, tidying.

I was proud of H today eating so much pizza at supper... I've now seen that most (if not ll) had ended up under her chair!

momino managed to get my hair cut but haven't bought dye yet, will hopefully get out to town tomorrow to see my mum, buy dye and friends 40th birthday pressie.

M has really cut down on her milk feeds too, she BF at 5am, had a v.quick BF at 8.30am then refused milk all day till her bottle at 7pm tonight. She has drunk v.weak squash out of her beaker during the day with meals tho.

Oh yes, ses Any puppy news?

tumm Lol @ at you wishing for 's and 's at work. Can't you just pull an face instead. I don't think there's an adequate substitute for though, unless you offer them a biscuit so they can't talk anymore

The thing with my DH all started THB when for once I did make advances 2 nights ago. (I don't know what came over me ) and I got rejected! That wasn't the reaction I expected of a man who hasn't had it in I don't know how long and then he went on about me turning him down when he wanted to, which I can't remember doing. Then the whole dressing up thing came out and that was my rejecting apparently, not dressing up after the dcs go to bed after he mentioned it a handful of times over the last few months, usually sometime during the day that he'd like me do do that at some undefined point in the future He's never been badgering me though, so it all sort of came as a surprise. I'm just waiting for the weather to get warmer to even contemplate walking around the house in anything less than a jumper and jeans/legging

C hasn't mastered beaker drinking yet. I do give it her with her meals, but she just chews it.

looby What's your hair like now? Post a pic on FB so we can all admire your new hairdo!

Momino I get like that with H - I think he's eaten loads then I get him out of the high chair and it's stuck to his bum!

Belgina well done you for making advances! I'm a bit at your DH expecting you to get dressed up after the DCs are in bed. The only thing I'm getting dressed up in after H is in bed is my pjs, slippers and 'cardigown' I'm sure it will sort itself out - very easy to have breakdown of communication/understanding about sex as most of us don't really talk openly about it, and because men/women often have such different perspectives.

llare congrats to your friend on the birth of her twins - that's fantastic news

puppy update - the springer puppies DH saw have made him realise that he really wants a cocker spaniel again. We'll probably try and find some to look at on Saturday

beaker drinking - O is getting there with this but if I don't tip it for him, he seems to take in a whole load of air and then suffer badly with wind.

IKWYM about this virutal world we live in. Also love the idea of offering a biscuit if all else fails!!

spangle I understand what you mean. I also realised tonight that he'd been home for a whole month and we're not used to that. It does make me a little worried about the near future when the house in the Midlands will be finished and sold and we will be living together full time.

ses I hope you find a lovely new puppy soon. I wonder what your other dog (Julie?) will think of a new puppy

Thanks for the new thread

WARNING

Sorry to barge in with a possible large vent

A couple of you ladies have seen my FB status, my whole life I havn't been truthful, because I havn't felt I could be, well things are changing...I'm sorry if recently things I've said have seemed higgledy piggledy, I just felt like If I said everything, I wouldn't be believed, as I havn't in the past.

Anyway...as you remember, my mother wouldn't make any effort to come to our house to visit and drop the childrens presents off for christmas. So DP had to go and fetch them at 11pm on the 23rd of December. My mother doesn't understand why we couln't pick them up after church on Christmas Eve, as we had no boot space, she suggested we put the presents by DD's feet in the car!! Well...after her obscence suggestion, she then made no effort to contact the children etc over the christmas holiday...My dad, what an arsehole great man he is, for New Year, arranged for my mom to go and spend it with her family down south, THE FIRST TIME IN 25 YEARS!! This then gave my mom great opportunity to talk about me and DP to her sister (my auntie) and family, and obviously tell them how awful we are, for not visiting over Christmas blah blah blah...As the entire of my family down south have now cut us off, deleted me and DP from FB whatever...

This falling out with my mother, if it were up to her, would just be forgotton. Just like everything else in my childhood from hell. The phonecalls that my younger brothers had to make to the police because they were scared, me running away at 15 just to get away from the arguments, alcohol abuse, violence...there is only so much that a teenager can take...and I consequently ended up taking alot of my frustrations out on myself, I'm sure you get my drift. My mom had no-one to speak to, as having friends made my dad jealous as he had none, so she used to tell me things..."Jael" I think my ribs could be broken, being just one of the things I remember, I could go on...

I met DP when I was 17 and I moved in with him almost immediately. I couldn't wait to get out...out of site, out of mind. I'd go months and months thinking everything was ok in my parents house, only to find my sister wanting a place to hide stay soon after. ALL of this is fuelled by drink.

But...my mother seems to have forgotton all of this, and acts as if everything is fine and perfect. She sweeps everything under the carpet, well she may be able to, but I can't, and I have scars to prove it.

I am a good mom, a really good mom, and I always do the best for my children. They are not going to be brought up in a family full of violence, fighting and arguing. Some of you think that I'm petty sometimes with my arguments and falling out. I just don't like to be took advantage of, have promises made then broke just as quick, and be lied to...and then a day or two later, have it swept under the carpet with everything else.

I feel like I've got to know you ladies so well, that I can share this with you, I'm sorry it's so long, and I've gone on alot. Thanks for reading.

Jael X

jael I'm so sorry about all of this. If your familie is reacting like this after hearing only your mum's side of the story, then maybe you are right to leave them be. You are right, the problems you had at christmas now do make more sense. I think you are doing a really good job with your own 2 children. I hope the situation with your mum gets better somehow.

Right. C's stirring. Time for bed now.

[blush[ I'm clearly tired and reverting to Dutch spelling, 'family' not 'familie'

Jael A wiser person than I told me once that friends are God's apology for the family you're landed with and I really liked that way of thinking. I hope you can see that these family members are clearly no great loss. Maybe it's time to think about cutting your parents out?

((((HUGS))))

off to bed but wanted to say to jael... wow, what a difficult time with your family. i'm so glad that you've taken it as an example of what not to be so that you can do the best for your DC's. I can tell you're a good mom.

Thanks Belgina I'm off to bed too.

I just hope I make sense, I'm really tired and I'm just so stressed, I've had enough of it all. Me and DP are really happy and are bringing our children up properly. We won't get so drunk that we are unable to speak/stand etc and therefore look after our children, we will not use physical violence. We take our children to church every sunday. And we talk about our problems and resolve them, instead of "conveniently forgetting about them".

It's hard writing it out I had alot to deal with when I was younger, and I want that behind me. My point was, little arguments without knowing all the information, do make it seem like I'm being petty all the time. But to someone who's just going to sweep another falling out under the carpet it's nothing...

Sorry X-Post.

Thanks for your hug on FB Blotted. And thanks for coming on here Very very lovely saying.
Were not speaking to my parents and I don't have any plans to any time soon...a couple of people have said "Oh, what about the children?" But, they were losing out in the first place to have Grandparents who can't make the effort to come and visit. And Grandparents who turn the whole family against you, in my book aren't very good role models.

Momino Thanks Momino. I'm trying my best to bring these two up, to have a better life than I did. And I know they will. We love them to pieces, and most importantly, me and DP love each other, and he wouldn't hurt me...that is something, I wouldn't wish on any child, to see their mother "hurt" by the man they call "daddy" it's horrible, and it makes me cry, I hate it.

I'm going I'm bringing the thread down and weve only just started XX