October 08 - New Year, New Thread.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

10th Sept (Due 1st Oct) - loulou33 - Boy - Joe Louis David - 6lbs 12oz
16th Sept (Due 8th Oct) - Ksal - Girl - Emma Rae - 6lbs
21st Sept (Due 5th Oct) - myjobismum - Girl - Naomi Caitlin - 5lbs 10oz
2nd Oct (Due 12th Oct) - star6 - Boy - Quinlan - 5lbs 15oz
4th Oct (Due 30th Sept) - Aubergenie - Boy - Stanley - 7lbs 12oz
8th Oct (Due 6th Oct) - ronshar - Boy - William Dexter - 7lbs 11oz
9th Oct (Due 17th) - 50ft - Girl - Martha - 7lbs 10oz - Elective c-sec
10th Oct (Due 1st Oct) - CantSleepWontSleep - Boy - Duncan Elliot - 8lbs 4oz
12th Oct (Due 4th Oct) - pistachio - Boy - Thomas Fraser - 10lbs 2oz
16th Oct (Due 11th Oct) - heather1980 - Boy - Alexander James - 9lbs 5oz
17th Oct (Due 10th Oct) - pepperrabbit - Girl - Jessica Rose - 7lbs 15.5oz
24th Oct (Due 29th Oct) - Ekka - Boy - Matthew - 7lbs 15oz
26th Oct (Due 20th Oct) - jenwa - Girl - Phoebe Jasmine - 9lbs 2.5oz
28th Oct (Due 23rd Oct) - RachieW - Boy - Jack - 7lbs 4oz
31st Oct (Due 20th Oct) - KnickersOnMaHead - Boy - Samuel Paul - 9lbs 11oz
5th Nov (Due 29th Oct) - Honeymoonmummy - Girl - Poppy Grace - 6lbs 15oz
5th Nov (Due 30th Oct) - MamaG - Boy - Harry James - 10lbs 9oz

I'm really right now. childcare plans... even for next few months just up in the air! ugh! blah! I'll explain later I'm just so and anxious and stressed now!!!

Oh Star, sorry to hear that. That must be a real worry.

Where is everyone today? Surely you're not out having a life?

my friend isn't sure she can look after him until june now Before, it was, until June ok but september I'd find someone new. Plan was to have her old housekeeper (who Q loves) come over and look after him during the day 9-3 and she'd have him first thing in the morning. But now housekeeper says she can't do it. Friday we talked and she was saying that she wants to see him every day, wants him at her house...etc...
Then, once heard from this lady that she can't come mon-fri after all, just 2 days a week, she told me that the housekeeper recommended a nursery nearby her that is really good -which baffles me because my friend previously said nursery would not be best for him! I know it's up to me. I've found this good cm, but I'd have to pay her over the summer when we wouldn't need her for 3 months (but not next summer).
I'm absolutely heartbroken. He adores her. I know I know I know he'll get used to someone else but she is so special to me and to him. Please don't tell me he'll be fine...etc I just feel sad. I'm crying and anxious.
I've asked what she wants me to do - if I should find another place for him or not (I've asked this about a thousand times this year bythe way, just to be sure so I could plan financially...etc - she kept saying it's ok until June). I know she has more on her plate now and other things to do but it's just really really I haven't heard back from her yet and I am in tears and shaking.

star - if your 'friend' (and I'm using the term more loosely by the day) committed to have Q until June then that's what she should bloody well do. She has no right to mess you around like this. It is totally unprofessional . And I think the fact that she now thinks that nursery is fine for Q when before she didn't demonstrates that she's actually only thinking of what is best for her, and not Q. Does she have any valid reason at all for not being able to look after him herself, or is it just that she wants to be a lady who lunches?

How about you talk to the lovely cm who you want, and see if she can start with Q straight away and do until June, and then offer her a small retainer for the summer, and to start again in September. There are loads of parents who need summer holiday cover because they work all year and their children have the summer off school, so she really shouldn't struggle to fill the slot (from July at least, when most English schools break up).

Oh, and out attempting to have a life today aubergenie yes . We went with friends to 2 swimming pools in different towns this morning, but both were full so we had v disappointed girls. We said we'd take them to pub with soft play instead, but the one in the local town had a private party finishing later than they normally do on a Sunday, so we ended up having to drive to yet another town to find one that we could use! Thankfully once we got there all was well, and we had a nice lunch, a play, and then went back to the friend's afterwards for more play and chat. Got home just in time for tea.

Have been utterly exhausted the last couple of days, so am aiming to go up to bed by 9:30 tonight, to hopefully be asleep by 10.
Ds is still seeming unsettled overnight at the moment (none the wiser as to whether teeth or dairy related), so I am not getting a good stretch of undisturbed sleep at all of late.

Oh Star, that is awful.

Maybe now is the time to cut your losses and go with the other CM that you really liked? I know finances are tight but would there be any chance of you getting a reduced rate/retainer for the period between June and September when you wouldn't be using her? (Also, weren't you paying your friend over the odds? Is the new CM cheaper than your friend? Would there be any saving that way?)

Sorry you're having to sort all this out. It must be a real blow.

Star really sorry to hear that, childcare issues are really tough as all we want is for our babies to be looked after well and happy. Would you definitely have to pay the great CM over the summer or could you arrange a retainer? Maybe half pay? Sorry to go on about this but it could be a way forward and I think common for summer hols when parents, even those who aren't teachers, are off for a few weeks. The CM might even want to have a few weeks off in the summer herself.

We had a night out last night with friends and J stayed at MIL's so also a lay in today which was great. They brought him back about 2pm and as soon as they left he got in a real strop and was a ratbag for the rest of the day. I think it's teething...again. He's obviously uncomfortable poor thing but he gets so grumpy and starts throwing toys around. I'm panicking a bit that he is going to be devil child by 2 but Toddler Taming arrived last week so am hastily reading it to find all the answers

She has a new job which she does a lot from home. She should do what's best for her... it's an arrangement between friends, so no need to be professional, I guess. I'm not with her. Not at all. Just for Q and because she's very special to us. I like hanging out with her kids a bit each day, too - it all works out nicely.... but she'll prob find someone else to bring them to school, someone can already collect them.

I'm just more that I haven't heard and that Q might not be with her for the rest of the school year. It's almost end of Jan... so just a week over 4 and a half months left really until mid june... To be clear, she hasn't said either way yet... so who knows what will pan out.
I'm afraid to ask the cm until I hear, though because I don't want to mess the cm about. I can't do 2 days with her and 3 days with the cm though because cm needs a full time place.

I do care about her and want her to do what's best for her, not Q. She deserves that. She really does. I'm just

X-post CSWS!

No, she agreed to cm rate in the end, so it works well.
I think it's more of a because of losing out on having her so much in our lives... but sadly, I think she wants that. I think I made the mistake of thinking that I was as important to her as she is to me.
I'll wait to hear from her. If she says she can't do it then I'll contact the cm.

Star I don't think you would be unreasonable to ask her to tell you now exactly what her plans for the future are. You need a lot of notice to work out new childcare for Q and if he does go to this new CM then I'm sure she will want some sort of settling in period for him which you would have to factor in. I know she is your friend but she is also working for you as Q's CM at the moment and therefore you are entitled to know what she is planning to do... for definite. If she brushes over it again I would be inclined to be more forceful and press her for an answer or make arrangements for Q to be somewhere new in June. I know it's stressful but it will be more stressful if she turns round in May and tells you she will stop looking after him in June and you then have to rush to find new childcare and maybe have to compromise on what you want as you need someone quickly.

She has said that June would be end of our arrangement. Then we'll see what we can do for September but I had planned on finding someone new from september. Just wanted to finish off the school year with her. It's ok if she decides it's a no, I just want to know and I'm very very sad about it.

Star I can really sympathise about the thinking a friend values you as much as you do them as I've had similar issues with a very old friend in my AWOL time from here. It is incredibly hurtful and I don't have an answer on how to make it better. My approach is to harden my heart to my friend and to not expect anything which means I won't be disappointed. Not the most mature approach to the situation but it's working so far.

She is thoughtful, though and we have a nice time together. I do want her to be happy. If she's not happiest looking after Q then I don't want us to be that burden for her. She is very nice to me. She's let me pay the cm rate in the end which has helped tremendously, too.

I'm sorry that you're so sad about losing a part of your friend star . Hopefully she will let you know for sure when you see her tomorrow.

tomorrow??? I won't sleep!!!! oh well. I'm used to that.

oops, early post - I meant to write "but I'm in good company here with little sleep"

sorry I've been selfish and ignoring others
csws I'm amazed about the pub with a soft play! How cool is that. Only in the UK...
Rachie - if you could give us all a summary at some point that would be lovely
Thanks everyone for your support.

Myjob- the problem is I read it, agree with it, think yes that makes sense but then fall down at putting into practice! I love J so much but he really knows how to push all of my buttons and already has me seeing red sometimes. Hopefully that is normal

Hey guys.

Star I'm sorry to hear about your CM woes. Is there a particular reason why you don't want to go with a nursery? I'm just not sure why you and your friend are saying it's not the best thing for Q. He seems a sociable boy and I'm sure he would get along with other kids fine, should you need to go down that route. It would also avoid the problem that you're in at the moment? That was one of the reasons I decided not to go for a CM in the end, I just thought Poppy would get too attached and when they part ways eg when Pops goes to school it'll be hard. The staff at my nursery are all really lovely and I trust them with her. Daddy's taking her in for the first time tomorrow, I've told him just to walk away even if she's crying She does stop within a few mins and I've seen the photos they've taken of her with a huge grin on her face, she loves it and they say she gets on really well with the other children.

Um yeah, I think Brighton is just a teeny bit too far for us!! I can take a hint!!!

My diet is going well, thanks, i've lost
somewhere between 2 and 2.5 stone now Still a way to go yet though... I even managed to go to a working farm that sells the most gorgeous home-made ice cream today and didn't get one!! I had a weight-watchers cornetto tonight to make up for it!

Poppy has her MMR booked on Tues. She's started with a bit of a snotty nose today, should I cancel it? Seem to remember someone (CSWS?) saying don't give it if not in good health.

Anyhoo, I'm off to bed, early start in the morning.

Oh and nice to see you back Rachie

HMM - I cancelled S's MMR when he had a cold. I need to rebook it, but he's had a constant sniffle for ages.

Star - for you. I hope you get some answers today.

Ugh - I'm really not in the mood for work today. Stuffed up with cold and tired. Gah!