Bones don't see mto be aching at all today. Yesterday was hideous though.
I wish ther was an ARRGGHH emoticon. Reilly's Dad has come up trupms again. I am having big issues with R at the mo, he is getting very physically nasty to me, J and M. He took all the paint off the back of his door hitting it with a box. If i go in there, he hits/kicks me too. The problem is with boys is that they just get bigger, iyswim. After a particularly hard week of parenting Reilly, on Friday i asked his Dad (lives 6 miles away, works 20 hours a week and lives at home with Mum & Dad, no other dc or jobs, courses, etc) to have Reilly for a week, or a day or so less, just to give me the much needed head room i need to be able to cope again. (Anyone with ASD child understands, yes? or am IBU?)
Anyway, basically he said no, what more can i do, no i can't. No he can't do that for me, even though i am desperate, FFS i even offered to cover his (small!) wages so he would do it, but no. He was arguing at the door with me, i was crying, until DH came out of the kitchen and told him 'to step and do more or fuck off' . Ex ran a mile (big wimp) and left me alone.
His suggestions were - more outside organisation help (i go to a group for additional needs x1 a month, x2 SENCo meeting and chats often with family, DH and school teachers). What more organisations can i do FFS, none of them will take him for a headspace break anyway! Then, he suggests a Social Worker involvement. I Do Not Want This. Yes, i know i have nothing to hide, but i am terrified they will see me in a certain light - 4 kids at 24, SAHM, council flat, ASD child, pregnant. They will probably ignore our income, marriage, my education, all the things i do, the extras the kiddies have, etc. I don't want them here and i just know he will ring them to be vindictive.
THEN, he says about full custody PMSL when he pays me £15 a week, sees Reilly for 6 hours a week and thats it. Yes, I'm sure the judge will see favourably LOL. I said how will you manage that if you cant help me now with a 20hr a week job, 'i will quit work' says he. 'So how will you support him then'? Asks me, and he doesn't know [idiot]
So actually, AGAIN, he wants to pass the buck to someone else. I seriously just wanted a 1-off headspace time. My life has been utter shit for the last 8 weeks, and i know thats not all Reilly's fault (actually i know its ASD not Reilly iyswim) but this is the first time in 7.5 years i have asked this.
Now, I'm just waiting for the backlash. A solicitors letter, a school meeting, something. He says he wants a school meeting; well that doesnt show his home behaviour does it!! But at least SENCO could tell him what its like to live with an ASD child. R's Dad and his parents like to think its because i have other dc and i should do more 1-2-1 with R. oh yes, you knobbers, thats possible isnt it. R dad is an only child.
I am so mad. I am mad that he can't do it, that he calls himself a father, but really isn't.