April 2009 - Chapter 1: We're not pregnant, just fat!

[PuzzleRocks]

We made it!

The fab April ladies and their blessed progeny...

12 Feb: Skiingone: MARIANNA 4lb 4oz
20 Feb: Glaskham: RUBY MARIE 4lb 3oz
04 Mar: Barbarella: ESTELLA, ROSANNA, OTIS
05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz
15 Mar: Babypringle: OSCAR WILLIAM 7lb 2oz
28 Mar: Claireykitten: VIOLET ROSE 7lb 9oz
29 Mar: WhatFreshHell: FELIX DEVLIN ALEXANDER 10lb 5.5oz
31 Mar: Mumblemum: ORSON XERXES
02 Apr: Oddeyes: ELEANOR 9lb 8oz
03 Apr: Bleuravin: MEGAN LILLIAN CONSTANCE
03 Apr: Bumpalump: JACOB 8lb
04 Apr: BabyBolat: KARAHAN 6lb 5oz
05 Apr: Mrsfossil: ISLA LILIAN 7lb 10oz
06 Apr: BoffinMum: FELIX DAVID GORDON 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: SpringySunshine: GEORGE NATHAN 8lb 15oz
11 Apr: RachelinScotland: CLEMENT JAMES 8lb 14oz
11 Apr: Lou031205: ISLA SOPHIA 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: Electra: ISABELLA CAROLINE 6lb 3oz
11 Apr: AuldAlliance: ALEXANDRE 7lb 6oz
12 Apr: Phdlife: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 3oz
12 Apr: BethDivine: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 9oz
13 Apr: MathsMummy27: AMELIA CHARLOTTE
14 Apr: Purlease: ADAM 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Juwesm: HUGO GEORGE 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Bronze: ISAAC JOHN
15 Apr: HeidiT: HEIDI
15 Apr: Kalikaroo: Name TBA BOY 8lb
15 Apr: Minush: ZAFIRAH ROSA 7lb 12oz
15 Apr: FatandFedup: EMILIA ROSE 7lb 6oz
16 Apr: PuzzleRocks: HOLLY ELIZABETH 8lb
16 Apr: Brettgirl: HANNAH GRACE 6lb 15oz
16 Apr: ReallyTired: Name TBA GIRL
18 Apr: Staryeyed: Name TBA BOY 7lb 11oz
20 Apr: LuLuBai: SEBASTIAN 9lb
20 Apr: Swaliswan: BETH 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Kittycatisgettingfat: GABRIELLA AUDREY BIANCA
21 Apr: B52s: SAM MARTIN 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Schulte: HAZEL LOIS 7lb 9 oz
23 Apr: Tristaleejac: LEWIN 8lb 4oz
23 Apr: NuttyTaff: TIAHNA SKYE 8lb 8oz
23 Apr: Purplemonkeydishwasher: ISLA ELIZABETH 8lb 14oz
24 Apr: Soon2befamilyof4: TALIA 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Carameli: THEO LAURENCE 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Surprisenumber3: EVIE ANNE 8lb 2oz
26 Apr: Bicnod: OSCAR MATTHEW 8lb 1oz
27 Apr: Lauren61: OLIVER STEPHEN 7lb 7oz
27 Apr: Gingersarah: VERONICA ROISIN 9lb 1oz
30 Apr: MegBusset: ARCHIE 8lb 15oz
01 May: Satheresitting: Name TBA BOY
03 May: Conkertree: Name TBA BOY 8lbs 8oz
06 May: Frekkles: HARRIS MERLIN 8lb 5.5oz
07 May: TarteTatin: ALBERT JOHN
10 May: Ilovesummer: Name TBA BOY

well it wont be me
DH has been snipped

DH has told me that if I get pg on mini pill he's going to book himself in too. I replied with 'OK, well if I fancy a third I'd just have to shag someone else then'.

brett you can borrow my DH he wants more now! (but then he doesn't do night feeds, cracked nipples and a life of sick-smelling clothes!)

OK - please can I ask questions, the BW has got me all depressed:

How often do all your bf babies feed? (Or did at a month old, and then, how did it change over the next month or so)?

Do they go to bed in a bedroom type place every time they sleep in the day?

Do you have bedtime routines going - and if so, are these at the time the baby realistically gives up for the longest stretch of the night, or at a time you would like long term to be the baby's bedtime?

Does something magically happen at 6 weeks that makes all this stuff easier - or is it easier the earlier you begin?

I feel like we are all over the place. And V is very upset quite often, seems to be in pain, and I am wondering whether I am feeding her wrongly - too little too often. Or something. (It is so hard not to feed a baby when it is telling you it is hungry!)

I feel like I am not doing well and I am a bit upset with DP too. Although I am sure for no good reasons.

I wish I had staff. Wouldn't that be great. I really don't mind bfing in the night, it's the crying and fussing that is horrible, and then having to make some attempt to function the next day -
I imagine some starched capable nurse bringing me my gorgeous baby for feeds in the middle of the night, with a tray of hot chocolate and biscuits and apples for me, and then effortlessly soothing my lambkin back to sleep afterwards, and sorting out a perfect routine for us all, and letting me lie in and catch up on sleep and newspapers etc. (This is so far removed from reality - the closest I have ever come to having staff was when I employed a cleaner for 4 hours, and only because I was about to have a baby in my filthy house, and I felt so guilty about it every time she asked about cleaning something I said "oh don't worry about that".)

GINGER PUT DOWN THE BOOK!

How often do all your bf babies feed? (Or did at a month old, and then, how did it change over the next month or so)?
Kara feeds roughly every 2.5-3 hours but he has days where he wants food every hour and some that last 5 hours. EACH DAY IS DIFFERENT! But he has been lasting longer between feeds the older he gets but then he is awake longer and then goes to sleep for a bit.

Do they go to bed in a bedroom type place every time they sleep in the day?
NO - He sleeps in his moses basket in the living room, he has been in his big boy cot once and that was last week at 7 weeks old

Do you have bedtime routines going - and if so, are these at the time the baby realistically gives up for the longest stretch of the night, or at a time you would like long term to be the baby's bedtime?
WTF V is 4 weeks old, Kara is 7 and he has got his own routine (I am lucky) but even then no - what usually happens is he has a feed, nappy change then falls asleep on me on the sofa (me too) until about midnight / 1am then we have another feed and change and head to bed, he goes in his moses basket then at 4.30 wakes for his feed and comes in with us for the rest of the night.

Does something magically happen at 6 weeks that makes all this stuff easier - or is it easier the earlier you begin?
Nope and Nope, stop stressing about it, routines happen when they happen, some people are lucky and can implement them fairly early, some don't, some get in to a routine then promptly out of it

You are putting too much pressure on yourself - please stop reading that book!

more pics of fatty bum bum on my profile xx

Hi ginger - don't be depressed, it is all complete chaos at this stage!

To answer your questions:

Orbit feeds every couple of hours at the moment, sometimes a bit longer

We've just started trying to put him in our bedroom for naps in the day, but before that he's been in his pram in the lounge. the main reason for napping upstairs is so DS1 doesn't have to play quietly when Orbit is napping.

Bedtime routine? Nope, not yet. We're just starting to get some sort of regularity to the days, and Orbit is nearly nine weeks. He normally conks out about 8.30pm, but not always. I'd like him to go to bed at 7pm, but he doesn't seem to have finished eating and pooing by then.

I think they do need to get past a certain age before the evenings settle down, especially if they're refluxy. Not sure what age it is though!

Don't worry about feeding V too often - if she's asking to be fed, then you should feed her. It will all settle down in time, I promise

How often do all your bf babies feed? (Or did at a month old, and then, how did it change over the next month or so)?
Alex feeds every 2 to 2 and a half hours; sometimes he goes for up to 4 hours, sometimes he seems to want to feed every hour, and I try and distract him with walks in the sling, dummy, etc., to see if he's actually hungry or can hold out.

Do they go to bed in a bedroom type place every time they sleep in the day?
No, never, because his bed is on the 3rd floor and I am on the 1st and it's just too far away for my peace of mind. He sleeps in his carrycot in the kitchen/living room/wherever is quietest/in the garage today/in the sling/in the carseat if we are on the move...

Do you have bedtime routines going - and if so, are these at the time the baby realistically gives up for the longest stretch of the night, or at a time you would like long term to be the baby's bedtime?
Nope. When he stops screaming, he crashes out.

Does something magically happen at 6 weeks that makes all this stuff easier - or is it easier the earlier you begin?
It happens gradually, over time.

I agree that the BW sounds stressful and guilt-inducing, and you need to hide the book for a while.

FWIW yesterday I wished some capable person would come and observe my baby for a day and then say, "now, when he does X it means this, and you should do such and such. When he cries like this, put him down and he'll go off to sleep. When he blinks his eyes like so, he needs some quiet time." And so on. But it ain't going to happen, because that isn't how it works, and I think from what I can gather of the BW, she suggests that babies' needs are comprehensible and can be interpreted if you just want to/know how. This then makes you feel bad if you haven't got a clue what is going on.
Load of pants: no one has a clue what is going on at this stage, and it is well nigh impossible to interpret babies beyond, "shit, (s)he is crying, there must be something up."
My post may not be all that reassuring, as there is no easy formula to this business, but please stop worrying that we have all got routines going and you have somehow not got it sussed. We are all groping around, just like you...

Ginger - you are doing brilliantly, as we all are:

Feeding - Hannah is FF, but at six weeks still needs feeding 6 times a day and there is very little routine to it. Some days she is definitely hungrier than others.

Daytime sleeps - do babies sleep during the day? Mine doesn't very often apart from 30 minute naps where if I put her down she wakes immediately! How do you get babies to sleep during the day?

Night time - As she doesn't sleep during the day this does help the night time because she is knackered. She will go into her moses basket at 10 and sleep till 5. She is however utterly hellish between 6 and about 8.30 (apart from the day we took her down the pub ) DH keeps promising to take her again - maybe tomorrow night as it's meant to be gorgeous again

Hannah is 6 weeks today - I haven't noticed a miraculous change.

You are doing brilliantly. FWIW I haven't read any baby care books I think that you just have to go with the flow and find a way that you are able to live with. Remember there are a lot of different, right ways. Plus there are a lot of people who think that the only right way is theres. Ignore them is my advice.

In fact I don't even know what the BW is

their

Aah, it is cerazette. Thanks Brett. And apologies to my GP.

Bronze - Isaac is adorable. Such a big boy now.

Ginger - Holly probably feeds every 3 - 4 hours. Some days more often, some days less. During the day she sleeps in her moses in whichever room I happen to be in. At night we co-sleep. Please feed her if she's hungry, it's exhausting at first but they are brilliant at finding their own routine given time. Personally I hate parenting manuals and think they cash in on mothers anxieties and stop them from trusting their own instincts.
I wish you were near me, I would come round with cake and gin. {{hugs}}

BB - Love the pics.

Must catch up with the Apprentice now.

Anything from 20 minutes after the last feed to 5 hours. Normally about 2 hours

Nope- normally hes in his sling. Occasionally hes in his bouncy chair wherever I am

No bedtime routine here except that hes normally got hungry in the time it takes me to put the kids to bed so I then sit down and feed him.

It just gets easier over time. Even if they never sleep (ds1) you adjust so it does improve

If theyre saying theyre hungry chances are they are. I have to stop Izy mid feed to wind him otherwise theres too much wind beow the food and it hurts him

I wish I had staff too. Though Im quite happy to get up at night I think I've forgotten what sleep is but someone to cook clean and do the laundry would be nice.

I don't think I help much as I sound pretty calm and chilled out about things but you have to remember this is my fourth so it will be easier for me. Occasionally you will come across a mum who seems to have it sorted BB!! but the reality is most dont

Puzzle just seen the pic on your profile I love it hehe

actually where is everyone? I know the france two but you others?

I'm in norfolk

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!
There is a slug in the shower!!!!!!
Has it come up the plughole, or climbed in the window and across all our toothbrushes into the shower?

Ginger - similar picture to the others here.
H feeds every couple of hours or so in the day, but very variable. Today, for example, was almost continuous from 8am to 1pm with a series of 5-10 minute sleeps plus screaming if I tried to stop!

Daytime sleeps - my plan is that he will sleep wherever I happen to be. In practice, he takes this a little too literally and insists on sleeping in my arms!

Nights - we've not been trying for a routine yet, but most nights he'll do feeds at roughly midnight, 3, 6 and 9. We are co-sleeping, and though I'm not entirely comfortable with it, it is fabulous for night feeds. I don't actually know what I'll do if I ever get him to sleep in his moses basket - I don't really fancy having to get out of bed to feed him!

And I'll let you know about the 6 week thing!

My 'parenting ethos' at the moment is that routines for babies are a bit of a modern construct, imposed for our convenience, not for their benefit. Of course, I can afford to feel like that at the moment as I have no pressing need to be in a routine myself/ no other demands on my time. If/ when we go for DC2, I daresay I'll need to revise this! For now I'm just following his cues and hoping he'll get his own routines some way down the line. Feel free to quote this back at me when I come on here begging for advice on getting him to sleep at night!!

Burn Recycle the book!

Gingersarah - i don't have much baby experience but tbh we're just going with the flow and it seems to be working, when he wants feeding he feed him, if he falls asleep we leave him wherever he falls whatever time of day, we dont creep around him though ie, if we were going out we wouldnt change our plans cos he was asleep could just bung him in carseat, no bedtime routine whatsoever he varies from one night to the next, we just bring him up with us anytime between 10-11 and he settles himself in the crib. though sometimes he is already asleep downstairs but we wouldnt bring him up earlier than us just cos he'd fallen asleep iyswim. longwinded but to sum it up we are just very laid back with it all really

anyone - how do i know if i have thrush in my nipples? i've been caking on the lansinoh and they're no better, all through feeds i have to mumble fuckfuckfuck under my breath, makes my toes curl

ooh just read jews post about hugo, completely agree with the thing about routines for babies, their bodyclocks are so out of sync from our 24hour daily cycle i just don't see the point in trying to have one and getting stressy if it didnt go to plan.

Trista - have to thank you again for little steps, it is my new motto to coping with life with a baby! that and lists! lists are good because you can cross jobs off as you go then you feel like you're really getting somewhere

bronze - im in mansfield, nottinghamshire.

Auld - eww at adventurous slug in bathroom, just borrowing your toothbrush maybe

Nutty - THANK YOU for vouchers !! xx

I got it!!! At last!!!
Saw doc tonight at 6.40. The HV had already spoken to her for me and printed off some leaflets about deep rooted thrush to back up her theory. Doc was lovely.
Just need to wait for bloody chemist to open in the morning. So desperate for it too, my boobs are just so fucking sore it's unreal. Excuse language, and it's no bloody wonder they're so sore, I haven't taken painkillers today [dopey]

Lauren (and everyone else who has commented) I'm so glad you find my little steps thing helpful. It got me through a really low time a few weeks back, and even now I still have to say it to myself a fair bit. Just nowhere near as much as before.
Glad you're feeling better sweets ((hugs))

Guys you're all sick, with your hamster/horse porn!!

Well today I helped 3 pregnant ladies, or at least I hope I was of some use to them. It was the class for pregnant women about how to breastfeed their babies. Lewin and I went for the last 15 mins and told them how we were getting on, answered any questions they had. It was great, and although I was really nervous, the MW said I'd done really well, given good advice, and hadn't come across as nervous. So I was quite proud of myself. I might be going back to future classes to help other mums to be, so that'll be good.

We move house on Monday, I cant wait......BUT.......I'll have no computer at my new house, this is my mum's PC, so it'll mean I hardly get to come on here
I'll miss you guys loads!

still hating night feeds!

should i be feeling like this? i don't feel connected with my baby, i don't think he likes me much apart from wanting milk, i can't seem to hold him right, and everyone else can comfort him when he's crying apart from me. i hate being up in the night, i feel a bit mental through the lack of sleep, and i so want a break. i can remember and imagine life without him and i miss it. i worry that i'm not a good mum, i think i'm too selfish.

Frekkles,
Very rushed post, just to say that that is normal: until he starts making real eye contact and smiling (in a week or two), it feels as if he doesn't know who you are and couldn't give a stuff. Which is only true insofar as he won't realise for months that he is one individual being and you are another. Once he engages visually and smiles, it feels as if he knows who you are. And when he holds out his arms to you, that is the best!
And IM (very humble and ignorant) O the reason everyone else can comfort him is that when he's near you he senses milk and therefore goes berserk hoping for some.
You will miss your old life, but you'll adjust to the new, and as the weeks go by the new one will get more fun as Harris's personality shines through more and more and you two communicate visually.

Night feeds are the worst, because it feels as if the whole world is sleeping sweetly except you. BUT we are also awake feeding, somewhere out there, as are millions of other mums, all feeling that it's a PITA...

You are a great mum, otherwise you wouldn't be worrying so much about doing things right.

A little update on Beth...

Yesterday she had a scan at the hip clinic and was found to have hip dysplasia. There was only a 1 in 1000 chance of her having this so it's not a very common problem. She's been put straight into a Pavlik harness. If it works she'll need about 22 weeks of treatment with the first six weeks being continual (no baths allowed!). We've managed to pick up a cheap, wide pram on ebay but could do with a few other things to make life easier.

I don't really know what else to say

Bronze - I posted that pic in response to http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/762649-The-strangest-places-to-take-a-napthis thread

Auld - Assume the plughole for sanity's sake. [gag]

Trista - Fab news about the fluconazole. I'm impressed with the breastfeeding counselling. Particularly that you found time to do something selfless for others. I feel lazy.
Good luck with the move.

Frekkles - I couldn't say it better than Auld already has.