April 2009 - Chapter 1: We're not pregnant, just fat!

[PuzzleRocks]

We made it!

The fab April ladies and their blessed progeny...

12 Feb: Skiingone: MARIANNA 4lb 4oz
20 Feb: Glaskham: RUBY MARIE 4lb 3oz
04 Mar: Barbarella: ESTELLA, ROSANNA, OTIS
05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz
15 Mar: Babypringle: OSCAR WILLIAM 7lb 2oz
28 Mar: Claireykitten: VIOLET ROSE 7lb 9oz
29 Mar: WhatFreshHell: FELIX DEVLIN ALEXANDER 10lb 5.5oz
31 Mar: Mumblemum: ORSON XERXES
02 Apr: Oddeyes: ELEANOR 9lb 8oz
03 Apr: Bleuravin: MEGAN LILLIAN CONSTANCE
03 Apr: Bumpalump: JACOB 8lb
04 Apr: BabyBolat: KARAHAN 6lb 5oz
05 Apr: Mrsfossil: ISLA LILIAN 7lb 10oz
06 Apr: BoffinMum: FELIX DAVID GORDON 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: SpringySunshine: GEORGE NATHAN 8lb 15oz
11 Apr: RachelinScotland: CLEMENT JAMES 8lb 14oz
11 Apr: Lou031205: ISLA SOPHIA 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: Electra: ISABELLA CAROLINE 6lb 3oz
11 Apr: AuldAlliance: ALEXANDRE 7lb 6oz
12 Apr: Phdlife: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 3oz
12 Apr: BethDivine: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 9oz
13 Apr: MathsMummy27: AMELIA CHARLOTTE
14 Apr: Purlease: ADAM 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Juwesm: HUGO GEORGE 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Bronze: ISAAC JOHN
15 Apr: HeidiT: HEIDI
15 Apr: Kalikaroo: Name TBA BOY 8lb
15 Apr: Minush: ZAFIRAH ROSA 7lb 12oz
15 Apr: FatandFedup: EMILIA ROSE 7lb 6oz
16 Apr: PuzzleRocks: HOLLY ELIZABETH 8lb
16 Apr: Brettgirl: HANNAH GRACE 6lb 15oz
16 Apr: ReallyTired: Name TBA GIRL
18 Apr: Staryeyed: Name TBA BOY 7lb 11oz
20 Apr: LuLuBai: SEBASTIAN 9lb
20 Apr: Swaliswan: BETH 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Kittycatisgettingfat: GABRIELLA AUDREY BIANCA
21 Apr: B52s: SAM MARTIN 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Schulte: HAZEL LOIS 7lb 9 oz
23 Apr: Tristaleejac: LEWIN 8lb 4oz
23 Apr: NuttyTaff: TIAHNA SKYE 8lb 8oz
23 Apr: Purplemonkeydishwasher: ISLA ELIZABETH 8lb 14oz
24 Apr: Soon2befamilyof4: TALIA 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Carameli: THEO LAURENCE 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Surprisenumber3: EVIE ANNE 8lb 2oz
26 Apr: Bicnod: OSCAR MATTHEW 8lb 1oz
27 Apr: Lauren61: OLIVER STEPHEN 7lb 7oz
27 Apr: Gingersarah: VERONICA ROISIN 9lb 1oz
30 Apr: MegBusset: ARCHIE 8lb 15oz
01 May: Satheresitting: Name TBA BOY
03 May: Conkertree: Name TBA BOY 8lbs 8oz
06 May: Frekkles: HARRIS MERLIN 8lb 5.5oz
07 May: TarteTatin: ALBERT JOHN
10 May: Ilovesummer: Name TBA BOY

Oh Swaliswan , does it cause her pain? How are you otherwise?

quick one - back to bloody doctors today as mum (whos a nurse) thinks i do have thrush in thee nips... never bloody ends does it grrr, really dont want to stop breastfeeding but its killing me atm. mum told me today thrush is why she stopped bf'in me at 3weeks.. this seems to give me more determination to get through it

okay off we go to docs will catch up later

dead hot weather here yeeeeyy !!!

Can't you buy fluconazole OTC? I've deffo done so in the past for the 'other' type of thrush.

Swaliswan - so sorry to hear your sad news. What are the other things you need? Whereabouts are you and can you put a "wanted" on freecycle?#

Looby - sorry about thrush - booo - you will get through this tho, you are tough - if you weren't before you are now!

Everyone else -

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the stuff about routines, or lack of. (The BW book was from the library so I can't throw it out the window but at least I have not invested anything more than my valuable time in it.) I really appreciate these windows into your real life lives because my mum keeps asking me if "my days have any shape" yet and I feel awful if being sloppy is letting V down. I shall just carry on!

In a moment of lucidity a fundamental inconsistency with the BW thing struck me. the primary principle is supposedly that you attend to the baby's type of cry to know what she needs. but when you go into the detail in the book, one of the "markers" for a hungry cry is - for a baby on a routine, and this is even one of the arguments for having a routine - how long since she last fed. as a logician this cicularity bothers me! Surely to get the baby into the routine you must have ignored or over-ridden "inappropriately" timed hunger cries in the past? or - the baby is doing it naturally, in which case, you could have just ignored the book and let it happen.

anyway I am really overthinking this now so I am going to forget about it.

Very regretfully I think I need to stop drinking coffee as I suspect it might have something to do with V's stomach pains, or whatever they are - I am GUTTED about this as I love the stuff on these sleepless days. Oh well. But if it helps V, perhaps the days won't be so sleepless...

One final thing on the subject of routine: I think that the days of strict routine (my mother's generation of motherhood) were also days when it was ok and normal to let a baby cry, for hours if necessary, perhaps in the pram at the bottom of the garden. If this is acceptable to you, then it is quite possible to work by the clock. If not - then you have to feed the baby when it is hungry, or near enough. Does this make sense?

Once again, thanks everyone for answering my questions and letting me know how you are doing. Puzzle, cake and gin sounds great - I am meeting some mothers at 2 today and was going to bring flapjacks, perhaps I will call in at the offy on the way.

Have a good day all fanjo warriors!

(Sorry for inevitable x-posts - it took me ages to type this)

Morning all

Swaliswan - ouch and for you and Beth - how severe is it? IS she in a lot of pain? Really hope it works and it's only 6 weeks worth of treatment.

Frekkles - Auld has it right on the nose - our role is pretty much milk machines for a while but dont underestimate harris, K was like that for ages then all of a sudden he needed his mummy and just laying near me calms him down!
Kara is almost 8 weeks now, he smiles and grabs my face and he knows my voice etc but i STILL STILL hate night feeds, they are very very lonely especially when DH's / DP's are snoring away - and you are forcing yourself to stay awake.

More thoughts:

Frekkles - you are a great mum - but the early days are hard. Feeding at night gets easier. What position are you in? one thing that sounds logical but I forgot to do till re-reading something recently is that the baby should have his bottom arm down, under the breast you are feeding from, sort of (if you are sitting). So that is one fewer little fist up in his face between him and the breast. V gets frenetic like that too and I have to physically put that arm down because she has both fists up when she is hungry.

Auld that thing about not taking out the rubbish made me . It sounds as if he has totally disengaged from the household and I am quite cross on your behalf. The chess thing pushed my buttons too. I can see the logic in hanging on till it is possible to talk but I can also see how very hard it must be to hang on under those conditions.

Right

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOO Nutty, that is terrible!

I think they know it from the tone of the letter. They know they are going to devastate you with this.

Are you still going to go clubbing?

So sorry, Nutty. That stinks.

Swali, sorry to hear your news, hope you are OK. What other stuff do you need?

Sorry to have posted and run earlier it's a bit of a rubbish day here. We've found a house that we like but may have lost the buyer for our flat. Plus the car has just cost us over £700 so that puts even more strain on us trying to find some cheap baby bits for Beth. We've found her a pram on the cheap but need a pram seat for it for DD1. We also need to buy a different baby bouncer/vibro chair as she doesn't fit the one she has. I think that this one would be good for her. I also need to get a lightweight wrap around sling as my kari me is too hot for how long she needs to spend in it now to help her hips. I am praying that our car seat will fit her as the one that is designed for children with a harness on is £196!

Nutty (((((((hus)))))))))) there is nothing I can say - am so sorry they are not sorting this out for you!

It's BLARDY BOILING - Kara is not enjoying it with the teething issue and has been a whinge bag all morning but is now snuggled up on me in his nappy so planning to leave him there until he wakes up!

Swali that looks good - so frustrating when things happen all at once - fingers crossed the buyer stays put! Annoyingly I have lost a £20 voucher for mothercare! grrr

swaliswan - so sorry you're all going through such a hard time. Poor beth, and poor you. Let us know if there's anything we can do. You know we're here for support whever you need it.

Nutty, sorry to hear your news too. Hope that someone pulls their finger out and you get pain relief really soon. I know how horrible it feels when you have a younglet and they dont understand why you cant play with them.

have to run, got to get to chemist. Eejits didn't have any fluconazole til Tuesday. I kicked up a stink so they're getting them in this afternoon.

Although I dont know why they couldn't have just done that in the first place. Fannies.
Anyway catch up later.

Swali Im sorry youre having a crap time of it

re the sling Iasked around about thinner slings for the heat and was recommended a gauze calin bleu or a wrapsody. I hope that saves you some time on research. I've just ordered the calin bleu

evening everyone! how are you all? Not checked in for ages it seems - life is busy! Been trying to get house cleaned up a bit - I think all the dust is bad for eczema. Speaking of which, it looks like Clement is getting eczema too! We already have a hard enough time with Benjamin (2yo) and his eczema - terrible scratching and all. So the idea of two boys with eczema is a bit scary - especially since Clement is already starting to scratch his face! And he's only 7 weeks tomorrow! Anyway, guess I'll have to find some way to survive!

Apart from the eczema tho, Clement is just doing wonderful! He loves sleeping at night - often going 5 hours before waking for a feed. He sleeps in carrycot next to my bed until he wakes up for a feed and then into bed with us till morning usually. Anyone else find that they take baby into bed with them nearly in their sleep? I often wake up and think I can't remember anything about how Clement got into bed with us! Was the same with my others as well (at least with my last one) - guessing I'm so tired that I do it half asleep. Guessing I do whatever is necessary for him to get a feed, but a bit funny how I can never remember doing anything!

Speaking of books and routines (and the annoying pressure that such things can put on mothers!) my sister in USA (who had her first baby 2 weeks after me) was asking me the other day about where my babies sleep during the day and at night. Apparently she's been told that a baby must have a different room and bed for its daytime naps and its night time sleeping, so it will distinguish between day & night! I told her I thought it was all a bit crazy - surely there have been plenty of people in the past who lived in one room and babies didn't get such luxuries! LOL

Hello everyone!
Just had a quick skim through, this week has been mega busy but I don't want to lose touch with everyone so you will have to accept my apology for being crap with posting!

We went to a wedding at the weekend, it was beautiful, but we all got food poisoning. Has been horrible. Also E has got baby snuffles, snuffles all night, I can't sleep because I am so worried about her. Doc has given some nasal drops now so will try them tonight. The MIL has broken her hip on holiday so DH has been up there visiting. Also had a leak from bathroom through to hall so all in all has been a bad week!

Swali - and hugs - hope you manage to sort everything out.

Nutty - 4-6 months but it will soon be here, not much use me saying that I know but want to make you feel better (hugs)

Springy - you look beautiful on your pics on FB, I have to get dressed each morning to take the kids to school but I would love to stay in my PJ's. None of my clothes fit me anyway and are constantly in the wash due to being covered in sick, poo, snot and breast milk..some men have no idea!

E is smiling lots now, it's adorable. Lay her on the mat on the grass today and she almost rolled over, captured it on video too. I'm sure my others were about 3 months, not 1 month!, but she has a very strong neck.

Well I best go as it's our wedding anniversary and we have wine to drink (will I still be okay to breast feed??).

not seen it
not going to watch
but I love Danny Wallace (and Dave Gorman)

hey hey from this wet and sweaty grumpy night feed lass.

I've just read your words of wisdom ladies from yesterday and thank you x it's good to know what i'm feeling is normal. I'm so glad i found this place. thanks AA , come back to edinburgh and lets march round the city together x

Amazing to read of everyone's experiences and empathise and sympathise. much love to you all!

swali, i was talking to a friend whose now 13 year old daughter had to wear the same harness as a baby. She can look back on it and smile and joke about it now, and i'm sure you will too. Sorry you have this added stress though, i admire you for your resilience x

crikey nutty, you've to wait till autumn? fuckers. sweetheart, you are amazing for your good humour and fortitude x

love to ginger, you sensitive perceptive lady x

went to rosslyn chapel with harris in the sling yesterday and sat breastfeeding him in the grounds in the sunshine, with tourists cooing over him. there is an inscription in the chapel that i thought i'd like to share with you all

"Wine is strong. The king is stronger . Women are stronger still: but truth conquers all."

Frekkles,
Good luck with the night feeds...
Sod marching round Edinburgh, next time I'm over let's go to Rosslyn. Haven't been there in years, since before it became a huge worldwide tourist magnet and was just a lovely, quiet spot no one had heard of. Some seriously rich folk at my school lived in Roslin, amazing houses with gardens sloping down towards the Esk (is it the Esk?).

Ginger, I think you are right about our mothers' generation (if they are of the same one!). My mum was told to BF at 4-hour intervals, at fixed times. There must have been a lot of ignored crying going on. I notice that when my babies cry she has always been v quick to offer to pick them up and walk them around, soothe them, sing to them, etc. Partly to help me, but I wonder if it's partly because she is relieved to be 'allowed' this time round to do what feels right.

Maybe your mum doesn't realise that asking you about the 'shape' of your days is putting you under pressure? Some people forget quickly how chaotic the first weeks are.

It's incredible how much people's comments affect you during this period.

My mum keeps saying that A is still very small and that everything takes time, which is reassuring to hear, whereas my MIL - while claiming to be open-minded, and saying repeatedly that she doesn't want to interfere - told DH the other day that it was time we re-read our book about babies and sleep, because I still often crash out with A on top of me after a night feed.

Which reminds me - Rachel, I too have been a bit stunned at how little I remember of the night's events.

Right, off to do some tidying. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Good afternoon ladies. Very Schulte here. I am supposed to be at a wedding. Bought a skirt, spent 2 1/2 hours at the hairdresser's this morning, did my nails, etc. While I was out DH was supposed to keep a very close eye on DD1, who had been coughing all night (and you may recall, she's prone to febrile convulsions). I phoned him on the way home and he said she was absolutely fine. So I got home, had 10 minutes to get changed and have a bite to eat, and just before we were supposed to leave, instinct told me to take her temperature just in case and it was 38.8! DH said surely that was just because it was hot outside (WTF?) and that she hadn't coughed at all while I was out and to leave her with MIL anyway. It turned out he hadn't checked her temperature once while I was out and she's been coughing ever since so surely she did this morning as well and he just hadn't paid attention at all! AIBU to think this is gross neglect??? Obviously there was NO question at all over him still going to the wedding, so I am now looking after sick DD1 as well as H (who, luckily, is being good as gold right now). I am so bl&&dy tired and disappointed.

Must catch up now... sorry for me me post.

Swali, sorry to hear about DD's hips - hope the treatment works quickly and you and DD won't find it too hard. Can't remember why you were sent for a hip scan in the first place? H has to have one because she was breech - it's in 2 weeks time.

Nutty you poor poor thing, sorry about the letter, I really hope that you can get adequate treatment soon, you must feel really let down. Lots of hugs to you and enjoy the night out!

Surprise, happy anniversary!