Dec 08 mums - from rolling to sitting and everything inbetwean

[waitinggirl]

there i've done it - hope that is ok.

Veggie, you're a great mother and like all great mothers are entitled to off days! Imagine if your DSs grew up thinking you could do nothing wrong - what a life for your future DILs . (am still hoping one or both of the DSs turns out to be gay and so leaves off presenting me with GIRLFRIENDS ugh ugh)

(you may gather from the tone of the above post that both boys are in bed, DH is cooking and I have wine)

I lose my rag with DS1 often (far too often) tho I am under no illusions that he is a perfect child. I do apologise and he looks at me as if I'm barmy. Same if I make a mistake, I say 'my mistake, silly mummy' and DS1 says 'NO, silly William'. Competitive so and so.

on the sleep front, the snatches of Mme Pantley I managed to read today led to games with DS1 and 2 in DS1's cot (make it a fun place to be!) and DS2 has accordingly dropped off without a murmur. It may not last - he has the habit of treating this as his third nap (grrr)

effie fingers crossed its not a third nap! And yes, I'm also thinking ahead to being the MIL . Hope I won't be one of the ones being posted about in AIBU!

wg hope you had a nice time at your friend's & did get some retail therapy. I know the retail park you're talking about very well! Not much there really but good for a mooch around for an hour or so! I wish there was something I could do to help you. If you ever want to come over to Kew again, I'm not far from there so can meet up either at Kew Gardens or Richmond, or you can drop dd off at mine so you can get a break.

verso well done on the interviews, fingers crossed for you.

hello all,
Gosh I am tired today. I believe I said that yesterday. I failed to go to sleep early yesterday.. quelle surprise, though it was partly DS's fault as he woke up at 10pm as i was just about to go to bed. Got him back to sleep but obviously then i decided to bimble around for a while.

jj DS also had a phase of going to sleep like that, with the grizzling extending to wailing and then sudden silence! He is currently going through a chirping and playing around without going to sleep phase, sometimes getting himself into ridiculous positions and then crying. Though tonight he chirruped and moved around and is now alseep. hurrah!

veggie you are one of the gurus of this thread and there is no way I will believe you are a bad mother!
Oh and DS does sleep for more than 30 mins in the day some days. Up to 2 hrs even. But other days just short naps.

verso good luck in the interview.

wg sorry about your lack of sleeping. Much sympathy. I hope you felt a bit better today. I always find in the middle of the night everything seems awful and I am convinced I will never survive the next day and then it is not as bad as I expect. I hope you get a good sleep in tonight.

Ladyt I also have the first two twighlight books. I would offer to send them to you but I am meant to be lending them to a friend's 12 year old daughter. I think she is more the target market so i wouldn't want to deprive her . I haven't seen the film but I heard it wasn't that good! The books are fun, but I haven't got round to getting the 3rd or 4th one yet.

Oh and spot re stuff to do with babies....they are all so different but DS enjoys watching me cook in the bumbo, and trying to pick up things I am cooking with (I always make sure I casually leave something non-dangerous near him for him to try and get hold of), going shopping in the sling facing outwards, going out anywhere to see people, playing with new toys at other peoples houses, etc.
He also loves being on his front at the moment. Just getting up on his hands and knees and then collapsing again, and sending himself

Well done on the interview Verso (4????). A well-deserved boost to the old self confidence at work thing. Are you back f/t now?

Sl I could send you the 3rd & 4th books, which you could then pass on to Ladyt after she's read the first 2! Ds2 will shift himself around the cot also, well he did until we tucked the sleeping bag into the end of the mattress!

Meant to say as well, I've decided to do a bit of a puree/blw mix. Ds2 likes holding food etc himself so he's had some pasta tonight & also some carrot sticks. But I'm a bit control freakery about food, I like knowing how much they're actually eating, hence the puree side of things as well!

DH has let the whole living in a house thing to heart and has been making homebrew . He extracted a sherry glass this afternoon for tasting and I can report that it tastes like... homebrew. Lord knows why they market different brands, all tastes the same.

oops, DS2 woken up

Evening all,

veggie you are sooo not a bad mum. And I am certain neither of your DS's think you are! I know how you feel though there are days when I feel like I am on DD's back all day, no wonder when DH is off she sticks to him like glue!

verso more interviews...best of british to you! I hate interviews.

Well, after DS being up half the night he had a mahoosive 3 hour nap in his pram while we had a walk in the woods. He woke about 4pm, and has still had his normal bedtime feed and gone to bed completely exhausted I am hoping this means I am in for a better nights sleep. So I am sending sleepy vibes to all of us with babies who have sleeping patterns going up the wall

back asleep again - am trying to take the whole thing lightly and have been making faces at him in his cot - worked eventually. Not sure it will last.

1st DVD of the next season of the Sopranos has turned up

has anyone seen the Compare the Meerkat advert? I just looked online to see if there really is a compare the Meerkat site...and there is! It's very funny! You can actually compare meerkats

ooh ladies we're going to need a new thread title before we know it...get your thinking caps on

trace, really? how funny

eeewwwwww

Hi Girls

I too am rather sleep deprived and grumpy and I have found it so comforting to see I am not alone. All my RL friends seem to have babies who have slept through from 3-4 months so I was beginning to feel like the odd one out, but clearly I am not, so thank you for helping me realise that. I am sorry others are suffering though.

WG I just want you to know that I sometimes have the exact same thought about my Mum. I lie in bed soooooooo cross with the universe for taking her and my Dad away and leaving me unsupported in motherhood. Then I get cross with myself for feeling self-pitying rather than thinking how sad it is for them to be missing out on grandparenthood. Then I wake up and realize that I am very lucky and I am not unsupported because I have such a fab DH who does so much. It is just very hard to remember that in the dead of night when every cell in my body is screaming for sleep but DD2 is screaming for milk.

Verso - congrats on getting to the final round of your job interviews. Good luck with this last hurdle.

LadyT - I am so with you in your anger over the Tube drivers greed. FFS that are getting a better deal than the rest of us and they still complain. And their actions have such a knock on effect on all of us. DH had to leave for work at 6am today and walk all the way across town. He is only just back now. Meanwhile DD1 spent the day in a traffic jam rather than out playing because she was on a very congested school run with her nanny. And I saw a person hit by a lorry because the roads were so crazy... What are you doing with D? I ended up not seeing him and S on Sunday due to the weather.

JJ - leaving a baby to grumble themselves to sleep is so different from CIO. As long as they are not getting frantic then I think it is a stage that many of them have to go through to learn how to drop off themselves. DD2 was like that for a month or so and now happily chirrups herself to sleep each night. I think you can tell the difference between a complaining cry and a frightened cry and as long as you never, ever leave them when they are frightened then it is OK.

Spot - I second Effie that the best way to amuse a baby is to get a toddler. Not helpful for you I guess but they really are mesmerised by them. On the days when I just have DD2 I find she likes me to keep busy. So she is happy to sit in her bouncy chair as long as I am bustling about cooking or tidying while talking to her. Or I take her out for walks in the sling. Or I sit her on my tummy while I lie on the floor and sing to her while bouncing her about. That is her fav. Sometimes if I am lazy I put on the TV and watch it while massaging her with oils to keep her amused.

Veggie - we all have days like you describe. Older children are hard work as well and sometimes we forget that when challenged with a baby. They are forgiving creatures though and I am sure AK would forgive you anything as you are his lovely mum who is so much fun 99% of the time.

Trace - could you ask your GP about the time frame from removing L's birthmark?

Daisy - Yeah to the three hour nap. Fingers crossed for you tonight.

Do you guys remember that I mentioned the telly ban DH was advocating for the summer? Well it is week three now and DD1 has not seen a second of TV (gosh that has been hard, probably harder for me than her, I have done a lot of reading out loud, in fact I am nearly horse). DH and I only watched the Apprentice final. However, DH has relented and said we can watch films when the weather is bad. So I am joining LoveFilm and making a list of all the films I want to see. Any recommendations for nice light hearted stuff? I have the concentration of a gnat at the moment so nothing to involved.

I am nearly hoarse rather than nearly being a horse...

hello all. i had a decent day but no extra sleep/rest. i'm off to bed in a bit (haven't been this early to bed for decades). thanks for all your words - so comforting. arti - today i was telling a friend how much my mum would have missed madam, but then i realised i can't remember my mum ever having held a baby - i know she did, but i have no memory of it - and that sent me spiralling. it's always when i'm feeling low.

spot - am still aiming for 10 at the pool.

veggie - i've met you once, and read what you've written and you are a supermum to me - with flaws and all - the flaws just make you more of a supermum. honestly.

wish me luck for the night. i have to manage my expectations - she will wake, she will, but i have to try to not resent her for it and just get on with the business of looking after her.

and from tomorrow dh is hopefully back and present in our lives (unlike the phantom who rises earlier than humanly possible and returning after we're both asleep) - how do those single mums do it???

Hi, I cant remember who suggested it, but I could do a mini-meet up in Cambs on friday ?

I got time to have a cup of tea at work today with a friend. It was great, but felt very odd not to have a child hanging off me...

WG I hope your DD is allowing you some sleep tonight? I had exactly the same feeling on Monday (full sorry tale below), so have a huge amount of sympathy. I?ve also thought many times that single mums should get a medal. On the introducing solids, when I started to get told that DD was hungry I spent ages reading around whether I should start early or not and got my knickers in a twist over it. IMO the best thing I read (maybe on MN, can?t remember where) was a comment to think how full I?d feel if I were to replace a glass of full fat milk with a couple of spoons for veg puree, so I decided to increase the frequency of her feeds for the time being and she was definitely a cheerier little thing (although it didn?t change the sleep patterns at all)

Jolly at your ?interester?. And great idea, putting DD in the cot different ways for sleep or play ? I will definitely try that. And JJ, thanks for the sling tip ? we have a carrier, but DD is such a nosey little thing (don?t know where she gets it from ) she?s always stayed awake in it. The pram was a guaranteed sleep inducer, but the pushchair allows her to see out and watch the world so doesn?t work. I?ve also noticed that sometimes DD is better at soothing herself than I am, which makes me sad that I can?t do everything for her, but proud that she can do things herself. If I can spot those occasions (and bring myself to put her down), I have to admit that it seems to work for us too

Veggie LOL at your ?survival bloody mechanism? , so true!

Verso yay, but also at 4 interviews ? you?re a much stronger woman than I am, I?d have crumbled about 5 seconds into the first one. Lots and lots of luck for it

Arti I got Stardust on a whim and loved it so much ? very light hearted and heart warming film

So now a ?me? essay, please skip, unless of course you need something dull to send you to sleep. After my down post on Sunday I got up on Monday and decided to start a little naptime routine with DD and hopefully start to enjoy the days with her again. I actually felt quite positive and we went for a walk to get some fresh air in the morning, had a playtime to tire her out and then when she started yawning I took her upstairs to her cot and prepared her for a nap ? and armed myself with a cuppa and a magazine so I could sit by her, patting and shushing if necessary. Well it very quickly descended into her screaming, me patting like a crazy woman, picking up and putting down like a yoyo. After an hour and a half lunchtime came round, so we had a feed, had a play and when the yawns started again I tried again with the nap. Again she screamed for an hour, by which time I was also sobbing uncontrollably and had to leave the room for half an hour because I couldn?t bear to be with her . It broke my heart to hear her screaming from upstairs, but I just couldn?t make myself go back to her and was scared by the strength of my need to be away from her. It was awful. When I eventually managed to go back we both sobbed for another hour as I apologised a million times for leaving her to cry, before I managed to get my wits about me to feed her again (long overdue, I couldn?t even bring myself to meet that basic need). I phoned DH and demanded he come home from work (he was in Lancashire, and to be fair to him he did, but it was a pointless demand as it takes him at least 2 ½ hours to get back) and he managed to think practically for me and make some suggestions for getting through it (not all very good ones, one being DD and I should go to work with him for a few days so we wouldn't be alone together, but at least one of us was thinking). Things picked up yesterday, DD only cried (and not frantically like on Monday) for 20 minutes, before dropping off for 20 minutes. I was hugely pleased and actually put a big tick in my diary to remind me it was a good thing, so in the afternoon we went to a baby group, I enjoyed a cuddle with a tiny newborn and DD rewarded me with another 20 minute nap in the car on the way back. And today we went out to the beach, as friends have hired a beach hut for the week, and despite the rain it was a perfect afternoon for me to unload on to them and to see how much their lovely DD?s were playing in the water (can?t believe they didn?t get frostbite, but they were happy) and how ?this too shall pass?. So I am feeling more positive as the week progresses, but still terrified of DD when nap time approaches. But I will keep trying. And I will keep logging on, as just as I think I?m all alone with this, I come back on here and realise that, yet again, we?re all in the same boat (I?m sorry to admit, that although I really feel for you, there is a little part of me that is secretly pleased that I?m not the only one). Good night everyone xx

Well just about off to bed thanks for your lovely words, though it has all got me a bit teary, maybe it's PMS. Also watched the news and so many sad news items it's completely set me off, in particular the nursery worker who has been arrested, how horrible and completely shocking. But with it all you lot have cheered me up, Trace I love that ad, when we went to Whilsnade zoo with our friends a few weeks back we spent half time singing the compare the meerkat tune and then saying 'simples'...so so funny.

Tilly that bread picture is gross, years ago mum found a cigarette butt in a loaf of bread, she complained and the company gave us loads and loads of free bread.

Right off to check facebook then bed. DH is back on Friday, but then is away from next Tuesday until the following Sunday evening, so WG no more BE recordings for me unfortunately.

Oh and a friend of mine is trying to cut down their household expenses so decided to stop shopping online with Ocado and tried Asda and Sainsbury's online and guess who was cheapest?....Ocado! She didn't try Tesco because she had used them before and had some trouble, but just thought I would add that to our online shopping comparison from last week.

Hey Kayz how is your bike. And SL how are you feeling after the weekend?

Right bed.

Oh ZJ that's sounds just terrible poor you and DD. I know I'm always saying don't leave them to cry, but I also believe very strongly in instinct and intuition and have experienced that feeling of really having to walk away. As horrible an experience as it was I think you did right by both of you by following that instinct. I think sometimes they get so lost in their tiedness that they just don't stop crying and you have to walk away for a bit otherwise you are no help to anybody. I know you feel guilty about this but you have worked through it really well and it seems the time at the hut has helped you get some perspective, hooray for friends (esp those with rented beach huts).

Gah. DS2 refusing to sleep in cot, so have chucked him at DH and am sulking down here.

Why why why can't I get back to sleep? Ds1 has had an accident (3rd one this week) so once again I'm up at 4am cos I can't get back to sleep.

zj how awful for you, I've had the same feelings with ds2 at times when he's refused to nap. Would putting something over the pushchair like a muslin or blanket help so she can't see out?

veggie ikwym about the news. For me last week it was the couple who jumped off Beachy Head with their son

arti well done on the no tv. Agree with zj about Stardust, otherwise I'm so behind on films I have no idea!

Arrrgh, now ds2 has woken up

arti I have thought of another film, The Dish, if you haven't seen it. Set in Australia during the moon landings, very gentle & sweet!

ZJ Poor you. I have gotten myself into some right states over DS and his lack of napping during the day. I have had to take a step back and just be grateful for his 30 mins here and there. FWIW I think you are doing a great job!

Well DS was awake at 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am when I brought him into our bed and he slept till 5.20 when he decided it was morning. DH awake to see him there and wondered what he was doing - he hadn't heard him once DH home at lunch and has promised to take DC's to park so I can get some sleep. I just don't know whats got into him? I thought teeth maybe but he normally has bright red cheeks but didn't last night. Oh I'm too tired to try and work it out.

arti I watched Seven Pounds with Will Smith the other day. A bit cheesy and a slow film but was good and a bit of a tear jerker

Veggie I agree with the others, I think you do a great job and you always sound so calm and together in your posts !
We all have bad days though, I dont think its bad for the kids to see them occasionally. We are human. My mum hid all that stuff from all of us, and as a result we all grew up (especially my brothers) thinking that she had no feelings, and now shes gone I feel there is so much I never knew about her because she never talked about personal stuff, always did the "professional mum" thing.
DH and I do fight (and make up) in front of the kids and tell them about our feelings too, I dont know which way is right but I want them to understand I am a person as well as their mum.

Well we have had a busy few days here. DH has decided he wants to be a SAHD which is great, but needs lots of planning, DS1 has had a really high temperature, DS2 is waking 4-5 times a night for no apparent reason, and I have ringworm. Well life is never boring !

Morning!

Veggie You do a fabulous job!!! I've met you and your gorgeous boys and they were brilliant and very very happy!!

We all have bad days. DS1 was driving me up the wall on Monday, to the point that I put him to bed at quarter to 7 because I couldn't cope. He fell straight to sleep so I think it was because he was tired.

Hope you are all ok! We are getting a rabbit today so off to buy some hay etc to get the hutch ready.