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Dec 08 mums - from rolling to sitting and everything inbetwean

997 replies

waitinggirl · 08/05/2009 18:20

there i've done it - hope that is ok.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Kayzr · 10/06/2009 08:01

They do it to everyone Tilly, when I was 7 months pg with DS1 I did 2 weeks without a day off. I did 110 hours in those 2 weeks because someone else who was PG kept getting signed off sick. We're were all so pissed off because she would come in shopping and buy chocolate, crisps, chips, pizza etc but claimed to have hypermesis(sp)

daisydora · 10/06/2009 08:20

Aaarrghhh....DS up at 12, 1am, 2am, 3.30 then up for the day at 5am. You would have thought that after being outside all day yesterday he would have slept! Weaning does not equal a sleeping baby, tis purely the luck of the draw!

Re: broodiness. DH has booked in for his vasectomy. He has consultation at end of June with the Dr who will do it and then sort a date out for the procedure. I did have a little twinge of 'something' that I would not hold a newborn of my own again. But it passed. Honestly I have the two most beautiful children and am very blessed. Plus I HATE being pregnant, I really do it was a means to an end for me and I couldn't do it again and really wouldn't want too.

Back later.....

EffiePerine · 10/06/2009 08:26

no time to catch up properly but wanted to say to WG there is no shame in wanting some help after the newborn stage - in many ways I think it's harder now as peopple expect you to be fine b ut our babies are changing so much it's like dealing with a newborn all over again (only now they can move and they're louder!). Do you have anyone who can take DD out for am hour or so so you can nap? If I were still in London I'd volunteer for a mini creche for you and Spot

sleep bit pants here too and not improving (suspect DS2's efforts to sit up) so need to try and sort it. Not helped by DH telling me to just bring DS2 down to watch telly when he isn't settling then complaining when he wants to be cuddled in our bed all night . Anyone up for a baby boot camp?

EffiePerine · 10/06/2009 08:32

oh and re: stimulating babies, agree they're happier once they can move. I borrowed some colourful squashy blocks from the toy library which DS2 enjoys batting and chomping on. Failing that, borrow a toddler! DS2's main occupation is watching his brother do funny stuff, keeps him occupied for hours. Also try baby and toddler groups (the surestart ones are good) as plenty of small children to watch there (and toddlers are fascinated by babies and will bring them toys and stuff)

EffiePerine · 10/06/2009 09:26

and FINALLY, have put some more photos up on FB, DS2 is looking oddly like a Tibetan monk at the moment (albeit one who has fed often and well). Most odd

Bisou · 10/06/2009 09:47

Oh dear we're all suffering a bit on the sleep front at the moment it seems. We had an awful night too, he kept waking up all the time - although he did do 4 hours straight after I'd given him the baby panadol. He also has a little blood bruise on his tongue, which I suspect is him chomping down on it due to teething pain. Poor lil' bugger.

WG sweetheart I'm sorry I'm not there too, I'd love to have come to give you a break so you could have a nap. I didn't sleep pretty much at all last night either, but I slept today as luckily I have DH to look after the bub. Take it easy won't you and don't be too hard on yourself. I agree with EP about asking for help, a baby is a baby and they are bloody hard work. Do you have any friends/family that can come to give you a bit of a break?

Solids don't help us here with the sleep either. It's really just another thing to do during the day TBH, along with walks, playing in the Jolly Jumper (I bloody love that thing) and helping daddy do the washing etc. I'd love to take him for some swimming but because it's winter here I'm paranoid about him picking up a cold or flu. Swine flu is also about here so we hide at home a lot.

Kayz that's really ridiculous that they make people work for that long in the UK without a day off. Here there are laws that if you work more than a certain number of days in a row, you get shedloads of overtime pay, so it's not worth employers doing it. Don't they have similar work place guidelines in the UK to regulate all employment practices? Might be worth looking into?

I'm glad you're not 'south phobic' Veggie because I hardly ever get up to the north of Sydney these days. I'm a social recluse! We rehearse for the operas in Surry Hills in the city, and of course at the Opera House. You can come visit me there of course too - I'll give you a free tour!

Arti I'm impressed by your friend doing elimination communication, it sounds like a lot of hard work. But I wonder if her DD was toilet trained super early as a result? I'm afraid we're a bit too lazy at the moment to do 'the whole hog' although when he starts to strain, we say "POO!" a lot and take his pants of and 'catch' it! That way it gets flushed and we don't have to wash any pooey nappies. I'm tempted to get one of those singing/musical potties, they look hilarious!

Bisou · 10/06/2009 09:49
Bisou · 10/06/2009 09:51

aw CUUUUTE!

traceface · 10/06/2009 09:58

wg. sympathies on the no sleep. Don't be hard on yourself - you are doing an amazing job. It's ok to want and need help now and any time.
P has been taking solids for about 2-3 weeks now and is six months tomorrow - she still wakes every 2 hours...but as she's never slept well I guess it's easier to deal with because I just think she's not reached that stage yet, rather than thinking 'well she CAN do it so why isn't she?'. I suspect weaning won't make any difference so go with your timing on that and don't feel pressured.
Having said P is taking solids, she has not taken any since being under the weather on Sunday so I think she's forgotten what to do!

Can I run something by you all?
Lucy was born with a big strawberry naevus birth mark on the back of her knee. It was bright red and very bulgy and has faded over the years so it is now about £2 coin size, pale red and raised but a bit wrinkly (!). For as long as she's understood, we've always just said that it's Lucy's 'special mark' and she has never had a problem with it, and has even been quite proud of it. Recently she has made a few comments about it because children at school are noticing it and asking her about it and she said it makes her sad. She said every day someone asks her what it is. When she was first born the docs said she would be able to have it removed when she's older, so I don't know whether now is that time, or whether this is something we ride out? I've not mentioned the option of removing it to her. and actually I don't know whether that can bewnow or a few years down the line anyway. Any thoughts on what we should do?

EffiePerine · 10/06/2009 09:59

trace: why not ask your gp for a referral? then you can weigh up whether it's worth doing something about. I think telling L it's a special mark is a good idea

waitinggirl · 10/06/2009 12:13

you have all been so lovely - thank you all. weird how complaining to the ether does actually make you feel better. i slept between 7&8 before going to our swimming class which was CANCELLED. but met some other lovely ladies wiht babes for coffee instead.

the middle of the night is the worst. i got furious with my mum for dying and not being there to help, furious with my dad for being in portugal, furious with mil for complaining about not seeing madam enough and then REFUSING TO BABYSIT FOR ANY OF THE 3 NIGHTS I AM AWAY FROM HER THIS MONTH. i was a ball of frustration and fury, but luckily i now have a sense of humour again and am off to see a friend in kew (miles away from where i live in north london), because she is at home and may be able to look after madam for a bit while i rest. althouhg, knowing me i won't be tired by then. there is also a retail park near her house and i will no doubt spend lots of money i don't have on making myself feel bettter. my mum's refrain after she was diagnosed with cancer was: "the more i spend, the better i feel" - i have that on a postit in my filofax. it's only money... you can't take it with you...

OP posts:
pmk1 · 10/06/2009 12:17

sounds good WG! I hope you get some rest (or some retail therapy!) I think I know the retail park - is Mothercare there?

majormoo · 10/06/2009 14:25

just wanted to sympathise WG and others-my sleeping baby has disappeared too, so am nackered. He is nearly 6 months so am about to try solids, but not sure that is going to make much difference.

traceface · 10/06/2009 14:29

where is Sybil these days? I miss her!

pmk1 · 10/06/2009 15:55

yes it seems like the thread is slowing down a lot.... where is Sybil,Turnip,Indith,Pingu? Hello Major! Hardly ever see Lal these days either... looks like the 6 month mark is taking it's toll! Only a few regulars!

LadyThompson · 10/06/2009 16:27

And Oli and Nolda. And many many more! I think people feel overwhelmed and behind. But just pop on and say hello, busy lurkers!

But I am still here

In an internet cafe grabbing five minutes (more like an hour) to catch up on me emails).

Ah, what a nice time I am having in London. Everything seems brilliant. I virtually skip down the grottiest, most rubbish strewn streets. I have been chucking lots of stuff out of my mad, cluttered little flat and it feels good - in between breathless coffee and lunches and whatnots.

WG, I am concerned about you. I have been wracking my brains about whether I could help you over the next couple of days and I can't think of a way. I suspect meeting you for coffee isn't really going to assist you. Is there ANYONE who could come to your house and watch Madam in another room whilst you get some shuteye? Thanks for Sunday by the way, I thought the show was smashing and it was fabbo to see Spot and Veggie. I think that is a very good motto of your Mum's, by the way. Buying treats is so very cheering.

Arti - no cold here for either of us. How is she now? It was very nice to see you. I think I am seeing D again on Friday.

Kayz - that is crummy about your DH's time off, what a shame. Trouble is, in this jobs climate no one dare complain, I guess. The tube strike today has really annoyed me for this reason - how dare they ask for 5% pay increase when they have been offered what I think is a more than decent pay deal (particularly given that we have deflation) and everyone else in the country is up against it? Grrr. Sympathies to your DH too, Veggie.

SL - I agree with whoever it was about weaning just being something else to do (I am so lazy). I would definitely wait until after your holiday. We didn't start properly until a week or two after she turned six calendar months as it took us that long to get organised with the high chair...

I watched Twilight the other night on Sky Box Office. It was poppycock, just teenage wallowiness, and I thoroughly enjoyed it I toyed with buying the books yesterday in HMV, but I couldn't quite face taking them to the till as there was a very cool and good looking assistant. I think I have TURNED into a teenager. I'll be buying a Twilight pencil case next.

Sorry to miss people out but I need to dash off now. I am reading along but won't be able to post again until the weekend. Tally ho.

tillyfernackerpants · 10/06/2009 17:05

ladyt I have the Twilight set , am happy to send them your way if you'd like to borrow them!

jumpjockey · 10/06/2009 17:06

Oh WG I wish I could give you a big hug and take madam out for a walk so you could have some rest. Hope you had a good day wioth your friend. You're very right about the not a new mum any more thing, people seem to expect us to magically have developed the necessary skills to cope with everything when in fact the adrenaline of new babyness has run out and the oh my god it's going to be like this for the next 18 years fear has kicked in. And Effie's right that them being more mobile makes it all the harder - poor dd gets dumped on her her mat with a pile of rattles quite frequently when I just can't cope with her whinging any more and need a break

trace it sounds like lucy's doing a great job of dealing with other kids' questions about her birthmark. Do you think the questions will eventually stop and then she'll be back to not even thinking about it? Presumably once every kid has asked her, they'll stop? I know that sounds like a very passive way to deal with it, but if she can be reminded that it's her 'special mark' then once the questions stop she might not feel sad any more? Poor love. (hmmm, on reading back taht wasn't very eloquently put but you know what i mean?!)

daisy I wonder that about kids and energy - I mean, they're spending lots of energy on growing loads, and still can run around for hours too. Maybe they have solar panels hidden under their hair? Or do they vampirically suck energy from their long-suffering parents...?

veggie that's really sweet about the chap on your DH's course and his daughters. And a bit crap about the work situation. Don't know anything about employment law but is there any contracting or temping work he can do on those days to bring in a bit more money, without endangering his current job? A bit short-sighted really on the employers' part as well if the team will be losing work.

JB that's very cunning about the different ends of the cot for different activities. I remember one of the many, many boosk I read said to turn your baby round in ethir cot every night so they looked at different things and didn't get a flat head from always looking the same way

SL hope you got some good advice at the clinic, seems to be a bit luck of the draw there! And thanks very much for arrangeing the glazed and amused, it was great fun (SL organised for a load of us to take our babies round and do the hand/footprints on a plate thing as fathers' day pressies, very cute!)

spot boo sorry you're having early starts as well. Our bloody babies, when will they learn...! Well, sometimes I take comfort in having a baby who's so interested in the world that she wants to get up and see it loads (viz ZJ and the no napping) rather than a boring passive baby that just sits there and doesn't do anything to entertain me!

njan hope your head's feeling better now and your row is all sorted. I like the idea of doing something you enjoy and letting the baby watch - we really mustn't be spending all day every day putting them so much first that our own needs fall too far by the wayside - we are still people as well as mums after all.

effie that's another great idea about taking babies to groups so they can see other babies. We did a trip to a nursery yesterday and dd was loving looking at all the other kids. Though I found it terrifying and I don't want to let go of my little girl I'm sure it will feel very different in 6 months time but for now, she's too small to be in with all those boisterous kids who can walk!! bisou re teething, lots of us have been using the homeopathic stuff that veggie recommended, can you get it down under? Chamomilla powder.

LadyT you will have post waiting for you in Oxford Enjoy the high life in town

well here dd seems to be getting the hang of a moderately long first stretch of sleep before being hungry - from 8 to about 2.30 or 3. BUT she's much harder to settle in the first place, we've fallen into a very mild sort of (eeeek) CIO. In that she'll go down fairly quietly, lights out, music on, then start to grizzle, and the volume increases until she's about to really let rip and then there's a very spooky "waaaaah [silence]" at which point she's just conked out. I really don't like the thought of her crying to sleep and she certainly would never be left for more than a few minutes, but it usually happens about 5 minutes after we've put her down and if I keep dashing up to cuddle her after the first grizzle, she ends up with overall much more crying as there's a little bit, calm, a little bit more, calm, etc etc until I give in and feed her to sleep. From which she wakes more easily than if she settled herself. Damn. Is that awful?

And she's also gone back to waking at 5.30 and being really active, I try desperately to feed her back to sleep but by that point it doesn't work. All I can say is thank god DH is in the back room, he'd never get a decent night's kip otherwise as between us she and I end up taking up our whole double bed as she gradually L-shapes her feet into my middle and I gradually back across the bed...

I'm really curious to know if tehre are any studies that show babies actually suffer if they don't get a continuous 12 hour stretch of sleep at this point. I mean, so many of them just don't do it, and yet turn out absolutely fine in terms of mental development. Is it more that the parents wish the baby would sleep that long, and hence we end up frantically trying everything in the book, when in fact (if only we had a team of night support for our own sleep needs) the baby would be fine. And ditto for daytime naps. If they don't want to, and don't get really grumbly, should we be panicking so hard about forcing them to snooze for X number of hours during the day?

(obviously I'm only able to write this much as dd was boobed off to sleep a while ago on our bed... )

EffiePerine · 10/06/2009 17:47

jj: I thin there's the opposite theory that babies waking and feeding frequently is a survival mechanism. Not sure how you could prove it either way, I would guess that depriving babies of sleep in teh name of research would be less than ethical...

jumpjockey · 10/06/2009 17:54

Effie - sorry, should have said I didn't mean actually actively deprive kids of sleep! Just is there any evidence that those kids which don't sleep, don't suffer in the long term. Apart from their parents going insane, of course

Veggiemummy · 10/06/2009 18:27

Survival bloody mechanism! Well if they don't bloody evolve out of this particular survival mechanism they're likely to get chucked out the window! Is anyone elses LO's sleeping more than 30 mins per nap. DS2 has taken to having 3 30 min power naps a day, nothing will make him sleep longer, walks, sling, wom wom music, nothing.

I'm having a crap mother day today. Somedays I feel like I could write a book on how to be the perfect earth mother goddess, then other days I want to resort to chocolate treats and possible abandonment on a busy motorway. Today is one of those days, from burning breakfast, to turning a lovely tidy house into a sesspit, to aurguments over lunch (I made DS1 cry) and screamy baby boys, I think I've had enough today. I think DS2 has sore gums today so that's not a help, but poor DS1 he was such an exceptionally well behaved and lovely travel partner in London and he was just a bit slow with his lunch today and I went mental at him. I'm sure he is going to have an eating disorder because of me!!!! Plus poor little mite I burned his toast at breakfast and when he finally did get it (it was the last slice so I had to scrape off the burned bits) DS2 stole a bit when we weren't looking (I can add carcinogenic salted butter spread-ed toast to DS2's repertoire now). He is at his friends house now as it's his birthday so DS1 got invited over for his family birthday dinner. His party is this weekend but DS1 and I bought his present today so DS1 could give it to him tonight. I'm a little worried as it's the friend who hits him do hopefully he is having fun rather than feeling harrassed by his mother and friend. I'm having one of those days where I feel I have been given this perfect child, and I'm breaking him.

WG sorry you feeling crap, shame your MIL can't at least make it a little easier for you. You both found quite overworked, and you couldn't even enjoy DH's evening with him as you had to get back to madam. I think you need to get dear MIL over so you 2 can have a night out.

Verso · 10/06/2009 18:38

trace sybil is on holiday at the mo.

So sorry to hear about all the sleep problems. I hope you all know you have my complete sympathy. Sleep deprivation is rough. Very. I don't think there are any magic answers either - just time. Babies learn to sleep in their own time. I know that's not much comfort at 3am, 4am whatever, but I really believe it's nothing you're either doing or not doing which is causing it.

YOU ARE ALL GREAT MOTHERS!!!!!!!!!! (That's you told! >stern

tillyfernackerpants · 10/06/2009 18:40

veggie just a quick one but I behave like that most days with ds1. He will still go to bed telling me he loves me & wkes up with a smile for me. When I apologise to him he always says 'don't worry mummy, it's fine'. I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve him! I do worry how its going to affect him but I think as long as they know that we still love them & that there re more good than bad times they will be fine. Hugs to you, you're one of the best mums I know

Ds2 off to bed, back soon

Verso · 10/06/2009 18:41

P.S. A bit of crying to sleep (not CIO) is a good idea IMO - you have to give your offspring a chance to learn how to fall asleep - so not a bad thing at all. It's not as though you're leaving her for ages - and it sounds like she's really starting to get the hang of it.

Verso · 10/06/2009 18:42

That last was for JJ!!