December 2008 Coven - white light and basket cases

[EffiePerine]

Seeing as LadyT broke the thread...

Hi all,

not had a chance to pop on the last couple of days but just wanted to let you all know. my sis does/did have cancer her gynea described it as a fried egg the yolk was cancerous and the white CIN2 so he has removed all the cancer and burned as much of the CIN2 away as he can. He has also given her the name of a very good gynea in California (she is moving to San Fran) whom he went to UNI with and told her the exact symptoms she needs to keep an eye on and if any of them happen to immediatly go to a gynea. Am so relieved he got it all he told her she was a v v v lucky girl and it would appear it has not spread so thats fantastic news.

Will try and catch up over the wkend but wishing you all sunny bank hols.

Not had a chance to catch up properly as usual, but Trace have a look at www.owlpen.com/. It's a beautiful place in the Cotswolds with cottages to rent. It's not far from Straford and there is loads to do nearby. Owned by my cousins, although we don't get on so can't offer to ask for a discount or anything I'm afraid. Not actually sure why I am PR'ing them now that I think about it, but if it helps you then I am happy .

jam - what a relief. hopefully that is it now and your sister can move on. thankfully she has had great treatment and advice.

Echoing, WG, so pleased for your sister, Jam.
I am in a bit of a , meant to be relaxing at my mum's but we're just spending the entire time rubbing each other up the wrong way and I'm being so controlling conscientious that I'm insisting on doing all the feeds as it's such a nightmare. I tried waiting til he woke up for his last feed, so it was 12.30am rather than 10.30pm, but that meant I didn't sleep beforehand as I was waiting for him to awake, he was up loads and was up at 6am for the day so I won't be repeating that particular caper.
Still taking one and a half hours to feed him, and each time its a struggle. Surely that can't be normal? I feel like all I do is spend my days trying to feed him leaving me pretty much housebound and frustrated! I'm convinced there's something wrong with his digestive system but maybe that's just something else for me to be neurotic about .
Mum and I had loads of fights yesterday, all old family stuff, and I sometimes think I'd be better off staying on my own at home when DP's away. The theory is she can help me out which she offers to do but I always feel that she won't know how to do xyz or he'll get upset, and the house is so small that I hear the slightest squawk and come running. I feel so ungrateful as I know I'm lucky to have a hands-on granny who wants to help but I spend all my time feeling and which can't be god for any of us.
Sorry, self pity post again, I've had one of those weeks.

Jam Excellent news about your sister. Such a relief for everyone, and sounds like such has had some very good care.

spot Its hard letting go sometimes and letting someone else step in. Your mum will never do it exactly how you do it (my mum doesn't). Perhaps if she is giving a feed during the day you could go out for a walk or pop to the shops? At least then you can't see how she feeds him etc?

Well we went out last night. DS fast asleep, after another day of no napping. He woke at 10pm and I had left some EBM for my mum to give him, well he wouldn't entertain it and mum had to ring us to come home as he was getting himself worked up into a right frenzy. I walked through the door, he grinned at me and refused to feed Guess he wasn't hungry he just wanted me little sod bless. My mum is far from the panicking type, and said she has never seen a baby so adamant he wouldn't have a bottle (as a MW she's seen plenty). So much for a bit of freedom!!!!

Have a lovely day everyone!

Morning,

Jam That is brilliant news!! I am so happy for your sister and you!!

LadyT I weaned DS1 at about 5 1/2 months. He had a week of waking during the night and we tried him with some baby rice and he loved it. I have bought some for DS2, he is 2 weeks off being 5 months but I doubt I'll give it to him yet.

It is so sunny here. I would love to go to the beach today. Might try and tempt mum!!

Hope you are all having lovely days.

Just been browsing through. Veggie My Dad loves kids and is a trainspotter. He can be DS1's honoury train Grandad!! He is also a cyclist!!

Just some pics of ducklings, the boys and that new train.

Hey Veg, where did you get your bath seat from? T has outgrown his baby reclining seat and I really want something for him to splash about in but is still supportive.

spot - don't know which bath seat you are talking about, but we have been loaned 2 bathrings like this. we don't need both, so i could bring one to the meet up or pop one by if you need one urgently. let me know.

Hi everyone, hope you and your babes are all having a lovely bank holiday?

Daisy that your Nan is well and back at home again, with her new pet slug!

Spot I too have the same dilemma with nap time/going out ? in one sense it?s great that she?s generally quite predictable, but on the other hand it is rather limiting when you can?t choose what time fun things are scheduled for

Kayz 10lb is fab! You?re very close to that stone already

Jam what a great gynea your sister has, and so good she can still go to San Fran as planned and still be in good hands there

Trace I hope your bot is all ok?

And on the lists in our heads/partners who don?t finish jobs ? earlier this week I politely asked DH if he could put DD?s clothes in the wash basket and nappy in the bin, after her bath, and he obliged. The next night, he did the bath and put pjs on, I settled down to feed (as normal) and then he came through and asked ?where do I put her clothes and nappy tonight?? How about the fridge today??!!

Warning ? I?ve been getting some mixed messages on weaning this week, and need to vent a bit, so have written it all down. I do go on, but I feel better for putting it into words, so please bear with me. So I encountered my first ?she must be hungry and needs solids, not sleeping through blah blah blah? last week. I listened politely, but have not acted, however it has instilled lots of insecurities in me now and I?m in all of a quandary over what to do best for DD. IMO she?s not hungry, as she goes easily 4 hours during the day between feeds and normally only wakes once at night. Not a week has gone by that she hasn?t gained weight and all my instincts are telling me that she?s thriving, although this last week she?s been a bit of a grumpy pants and isn?t napping so well during the day. Now there?s a little voice in my head telling me these people have a lot more experience of parenting than me, and what if my instincts are wrong and actually I?m starving DD by not starting her on baby rice? DH has suggested trying baby rice as a way to get her to drop this final night time wake up, but to his credit it was more of ?would this work?? rather than ?we must do this?, but because he?s thinking it I?m wondering if it is what we should be doing (as although he has no more experience than me, I trust his opinions on our daughter than other professionals, because he is her parent and they are not). I?ve started a thread on what are the signs that it is the right time to wean. I have bought some formula to try for the bedtime feed, at DH?s suggestion ? I know the theory that it won?t make any difference, but I?d like to respect the fact that he is trying to be helpful. If it does work, should I start expressing at the time we give a bottle of formula, so as not to affect my milk supply?

Can I extend *JJ?s sleep poll from last week? I?d like to know what are you?re LO?s sleep patterns, and what are they fed? I guess the answer will be the same as JJ found for where babies are sleeping ? that is luck of the draw ? but you never know. Thanks for listening/reading! (FF-ers have mentioned this already, for Spot, but what about BF-ers, and anyone starting on rice or something else?)

Oh, and I final question ? why does every room in my house have a spider on the ceiling at the moment, spinning webs that I have to look at and do nothing clean up?

that's really kind of you, wg - would love to take you up on your offer - will drop by the meet up thread to suggest some dates!

oh, trace I meant to say about L and your sister - is there anyone in L's class with separated parents/step siblings? Maybe should would understand the set up if she can relate it to someone she already knows about?

zoe I think people see that you are frustrated and just want to help and they try to do so by giving you their opinion or telling you what worked for them. I think that you and DH obviously know your daughter better than anyone else. So if you feel like she doesn't need solids yet then stick to your guns and wait. But if you aren't sure what you should do then I think you'll just have to try a few things and see what works. Right now DD is getting all her regular milk feeds and if you give her a few spoonfuls of rice cereal or fruit after a feed and you realize it's not time for her to have it yet (which I'm sure she'll let you know) you haven't really done any harm have you? For us, DS started to wake more at night and seemed to be quite bored during his morning feeds. So we tried a few spoonfuls of rice cereal and he loved it. He was actually making 'mmmm' noises! But we've been taking it really slow. I'm not in a hurry to have him totally weaned... but I also don't think it's a bad thing for them to try new things. Again, you know what's best for your LO. Trust your instincts... they are usually correct!

jam so glad to hear the good news about your sister! It's also great to hear that she's been given a referral for someone in the states!

Hope everyone is enjoying their bank holiday and this gorgeous weather!

Zoe, T is having a lick of carrot as I write. Naughty spot. Am not even going to try getting anything into him yet anyway as milk is such a struggle as it is! But to echo Kimberley, I think something like baby rice is pretty harmless to start with- it's not like you're serving up a full roast dinner! (Talking of which my mum is making me one tonight, mmmmm)

Yawn. DCs sleeping ok at the moment. But I'm not - I think mainly because am severely traumatised by having seen a man taking his snake for a walk in the park the other day . I am quite scared of snakes. Honest to goodness. About 3pm in St James' Park. Man with very large snake wrapped around his neck and shoulders. Strolling along happy as Larry (the snake handler). Having spent practically whole of last few years moaning on about too much law in every day life I promptly tried to get a policeman to stop him. I also (and DH has not been slow in pointing this out) hid behind him and the buggy . So much for maternal instinct...

Weaning. With DS the first thing he ate was a bit of my magnum in the park one day. Which I don't think is recommended. But it was his lunging for it that convinced me he was ready - he was a bit less than 6 months from what I remember. You got some pretty sane advice on your thread I think ZJ. It took me a while to properly understand this last time, but until they're about 1 the whole point of eating is more for taste and exercising muscles (helps for speech) rather than nutrition. This is probably shameful thing to say - but I'd just do it when you feel like it around the 6 month mark. I have to work hard at not being neurotic about food - because it's very fairly important part of my life and I want DS to eat everything. But he's moderately fussy despite me having done everything you're supposed to do to encourage otherwise. I'm afraid like with the sleeping there's a lot of personality involved. Although DS still has a soft spot for magnums. So maybe trick is to get them to lick a sprout first.

Spot am sorry you're having tricky time at your mum's (but hope roast dinner goes some way to making up for it). For what it's worth I think having your first baby changes all your family relationships - so things can go a bit weird for a bit as they and you get used to your new life. I would trust your instincts with T - you know him better than anyone. Also there's nothing wrong with wanting to do all his feeds/not leave him. Perfectly natural. Although also perfectly natural to want to have baby-free hours...whatever makes you happier.

Yes lets do early June for meet up - will post on other thread but will try and come to N London too if I can (am meet up slut )

Jam really really great news about your sister. Thank goodness they caught it when they did.

Right must do something from long list of 'things to do'. Look forward to this time and then am too tired to do anything other than lie on sofa.

Just bookmarking have only caught up a few post so far. Went out for wander into town yesterday and caught up with friends, ended up going to theirs for a BBQ and stayed over (some lovely cheerfulness involved). Today went to Outwoods forest near Loughborough and saw all the bluebells out, just so beautiful.

LadyT, I think flight of the concords is hilarious, Murray makes me laugh just looking at him. I have their song compilation in the car and it makes me laugh out load while driving ds1 has started singing some of the songs. Not sure what nursery would think if he started singing,'Its business time' and 'leggy blond'. I also love Kath & Kim my old workmates used to get me to do the 'look at me, look at me' thing. Unfortunately some of the stuff is based on what some Aussies are like. I think British people like it because they like 'paying out on yourself' humour like Aussies.

Right better go back and read some more posts.

Oh and started weaning ds1 at 5.5 months after HV told me at 4.5 months to start. I waited but still he wasn't much for it, but when I told my HV that he didn't like it so I was going to stop after a couple of weeks, she looked horrified and told me I couldn't stop so should persist which I did for 1.5 months then gave up because it was upsetting both of us then started again at 9 months but unfortunately damage was done and it has taken a long time to heal the wounds of those first few months and he is a really really picky eater. Luckily I have had some helpful advice and we are getting there. I think Lady that with everything you both have to be ready, you and O. I also remembered another reason why they put the magical 6 month time on for a start. There is a myth going around that babies run out of iron stores at 6 months and formula and BM don't have enough to give a baby it's requirements. But this is crap BM has the most readily available iron for babies and plenty of it and while formulas iron isn't as bioavailable as BM there is loads of it so in theory more than enough should get through, and does. Also I don't know of anyone who starts weaning on pureed liver or red meat!!! Rice cereal is not exactly high in iron!!!

Oh Jam have just read your post and has made me cry, I am so happy what a relief.

hello one and all

Jam - what fantastic news. So pleased for her and you. Lets hope it's the first of a run of positive outcomes for the thread ladies...

Spot - enjoy your roast! Are you having Yorkshire puds?

yesterday was lovely. We saw the carnival which Lucy LOVED! Lots of cute children dressed up on floats, brass bands, morris dancers...I felt very English and some moments brought tears to my eyes - I'm so mushy these days! Lucy had candy floss and got a shiny balloon so it was like heaven for her . The situation with her 'cousin' didn't really arise - she asked once where he was and my sister said he was out and that was that. It has got me thinking though and I think I ought to explain it to her.

Zoe - I feel similar to you with the weaning thing. And I agree that it helps to write it down - so keep it coming...! Here's my info for you:
P is totally BF. Her 'pattern' (overly generous word for her behaviour!) for the last few weeks has been:
7.30am ish - feed
9.00am ish - nap for 45 mins ish
10.00am ish - feed
12.00pm ish - nap for 45 mins ish
1pm ish - feed
3.30pm ish - nap for 30 mins ish
4.00pm ish feed
5.30pm ish nap for 15 mins ish
6.00pm feed then bath then feed again
7.00pm - bedtime in cot in gro-bag
9 - 10pm ish feed
12.00am ish feed
3.00am ish feed
5.00am ish - feed
7.30am ish - gro-bag off - start the day!

I think I'll look at your weaning thread. Lots of people at baby group have started weaning as their LOs have stopped sleeping through, but P has never really done more than 3 hours at night so I can't use that criteria! Unless I'm supposed to wait until she sleeps through then stops (she will probably be at school before then!). I have no urge to start weaning her, but that's mainly because I'm a 'good' girl and always feel the need to behave and do what I'm told (!) so if the government says 6 months then I ought to wait! It's funny because I have done this before with dd1 but - and I only realised this a few days ago - as she spent her first couple of months in Special Care, I felt from day 1 that we were following instructions on how to look after her, ie how to change nappies through incubator windows, how many layers of clothing to put on her, how much milk to allow down her feeding tube, how much stimulation/ cuddle time she could have etc, so I just obeyed everything I was told. She had bowel surgery at 3 months so again we just followed instructions on recovery etc, then she was in hospital on IV fluids for a week with bronchiolitis at 4 months, so we had more rules to obey about feeding amounts. So when the HV said to wean her at 6 months I just carried on following instructions! I don't remember even looking for signs or considering whether she was ready! Because our experience with P has been so different I feel like this time round I'm allowed to make decisions of my own about all these things - she's mine - which is wonderful to have the freedom and the privilege, but also quite a test, especially when I don't have an instinct on some things! Sorry I've waffled so much - I don't even think I've helped or answered your questions at all! I think I'm where you're at with not having a clue! I'm off to your thread...

LadyT, Zoe, I weaned DS1 at 4 months, just rice, veg, and fruit, everything else after 6 months. He has always been a good eater, but I suspect that each baby is different. He was very hungry, and always enjoyed food even then.

DS2 will have tastes a bit early, as he has to start nursery at 6 mo and they wont feed him anything he hasnt already eaten twice. The whole weaning thing is a very emotive issue.

Jam I'm glad to hear your sister is OK, you must be very relieved.

Zoe sleep - when fisrt born, DS2 would go to bed 10-11, wake at 3 and then at 6, which was great. The last month, go to bed 7-8, after that anyones guess, can be 12, 3, and 6, or 12 and 4, or 2, and 6, which is a real arseache. I neverknow what to expect. If I'm really really lucky, one at 3 and then 7. Thats feeds by the way He will go to sleep on his own though, lucky in that sense.

Some days I really struggle with tiredness, especially with the 2 of them. Anyone have any cures for tiredness ?

NJAN, right now 2 large glasses of wine have perked me up no end, but realised this is probably not the answer you're looking for. I have so much admiration for those with 2 (or more!).
Lal, lol at weaning on a magnum! And thanks for the support about feeding T etc myself. Have been feeling that I've been acting a bit precious but until he's actually comfortable feeding I guess it wouldn't be fair on either him or my mum!

NJAN, right now 2 large glasses of wine have perked me up no end, but realised this is probably not the answer you're looking for. I have so much admiration for those with 2 (or more!).
Lal, lol at weaning on a magnum! And thanks for the support about feeding T etc myself. Have been feeling that I've been acting a bit precious but until he's actually comfortable feeding I guess it wouldn't be fair on either him or my mum!

NJAN - I forgot to say thanks for telling me about your bum experience. I am preparing myself for the GP telling me I need some kind of surgery down there . It was really helpful to hear that i'm not the only person who has/had such issues!
I'm afraid I don't have any tiredness cures. I tend to get to bed pretty early but that's my only tactic and I can't really say how effective it is - unless I exist in a parallel universe and the other me stays up while the first me goes to bed early, and then we compare ourselves the next day. Can you tell I'm tired now? I'm talking nonsense. My other tactic is eating chocolate, which again has little effect on my tiredness, but makes me feel better anyway .

Oops! Oh, and Trace, glad things went well with P's cousin and she enjoyed the carnival.
No yorkshires {sad} but as is chicken and my mum's v traditional it just wouldn't be right..

that's true. I trust you've had some decent tatties though. yum.