Fab Feb 2009: too sleep deprived to think of a new thread title

[dinkystinky]

'nuff said

although the hair has as much to do with that as the size.... he was born with thick haor an inch or so long and it's grown since then

PT - yes my DS had an Elvis quiff for months and looked a lot older (and a bit weird!) but DD just has a wisp of hair. I assume she'll be out of her 0 - 3 month clothes by the time she is at school....

(((lbb))) i don't have anything more to add to the very good advice you have been already been given, but thinking of you and hope you feel brighter very soon...

pt ...really useful post! my dh pulls his weight completely..yet we have also had big big arguments ..even when we kind of agree...we reach agreeents in the end but is always hard work

we are drowning in aloe vera , calamine and pririton (DS only!) here..kids are covered but fighting the pox well...

aloe vera is the plant of the gods

put some on my acne last week and there was instant improvement.

speaking of which, has anyone else who had pregnancy acne had trouble shifting it since baby was born? i had it with ds1 but it disappeared after he was born but this time it's lingering and to think i hardly had a single spot all my teenage years and now i'm stuck with freakin acne!

calico, dd had the elvis quiff, ds1 was born with loads of hair and lost it all round the sides and ended up with a baby mohawk and now aaron has a head full of dark tufty curly mess! i don't think i'd know what to do with a non fluffy baby

LBB - you sound like you're in a really bad place right now. I hope the HV and GP provide you with some proper help today - and I agree with PT, you need to talk properly with your partner to resolve your issues and it will take time....

STW - hope the jabs went ok and that Sam is ok afterwards. Also hope you got your questions answered at your 8 weeks check.

Calico - good luck for Lilian's jabs tomorrow. I bet she is beautiful and petite little lady

Nkweto - glad the little ones are fighting the pox well. Hope you're fully recovered now.

Danny seems (fingers crossed) to finally be on the mend after an awful night last night - took him to baby clinic this morning (second person through the door though still had to wait 20 minutes to see the HV!) to check his weight and he's still putting on weight despite erratic feeds at the moment. His belly button has popped out though - thought it might be a hernia but HV says no. Took him to baby massage afterwards (lovely 2.5 mile walk there in the sun and lovely walk back - life is so much better when the sun is shining) and the massage teacher pointed out you could feel air under it so its probably some form of umbilical trauma related to the birth - great, there I was thinking it was a good birth! Will ask the cranial osteopath about it on Monday.

PS Rosie - lovely to see you on the board again. Good luck with all the home improvements - we're doing some litle bits and pieces to our house at the moment as the grand plan (side return and loft conversion) is on hold for the time being. Am in awe at all 5 of you being in a 3 bed house though!

Pink - DS1 had a baby mohican too and Danny is developing a lovely one! Was funny as most of the girl babies from my NCT group when I had DS1 were totally bald and all the boys had hair....

afternoon all,
LBB, HUGE hugs to you from KSA. It really does sound like PND and I hope you get the support and help you need. I have to say, the last few weeks I've experienced some of the feelings that you've mentioned and at times have hated, well thought that I hated DH which of course I don't. I realise now it is down to tiredness and on Monday night he ordered me into the spare room and I managed to sleep from around 10pm to around 4am when I heard my little man crying. I felt like a new woman yesterday and last night DH slept in the spare room and we've just agreed to do this a few times a week. Everything seems so much worse when you are tired so you need to try to reach some sort of compromise with your OH to ensure you get some sleep.
Thankfully, since we got back from our holiday DD has slept through every night (she'd only done it twice in 2 1/2 years until now!) so that helps only having one waking up.

PT your post was really helpful to me too and I must say your DH sounds fabulous

nkweto glad your bunch are getting better. Apparently CP is doing the rounds here at the moment so fingers crossed we escape it this time round.

all those potty training, hope its going ok. we'd tried last year with DD with no success then put on hold until recently due to disruption with DS. Are trying again now with a vengence and are trying to bribe her. She desperately wants a new bike, a 'proper' one, not her little plastic trike type one. her best friend Rory has a proper bike and she really wants one so we've said we will buy one when she does a wee on the potty. Strangely enough, she has apparently done a few wees on the toilet at nursery but won't use her potty at home so I'm hoping that one wee on it will do the trick and if she understands that is what she should do (when she gets her bike!) then hopefully she will carry on. Hoping she will perform tonight as its our saturday tomorrow and we can go out bike shopping.

MOS - good luck with the peeing in the potty tonight - I am hoping to start potty training with my DS, though he can think again about getting a bike for pee in a potty!
When do you know when they are ready to start? DS is 2.1 - he keeps telling me he has done a poo but when I check his nappy it is clean

nkweto - keep slapping on that calamine lotion!

[sigh]

ds1 just pooed his pants for the second time today.

i wouldn't mind if he didn't understand he needed to go but he's just downright refusing to go in the loo. i've told him that if he does it again tomorrow he'll go back in nappies and that babies in nappies aren't allwed go to playschool so he won't get his postman pat schoolbag and be allowed to go. he cried and said he didn't want to go in nappies but i don't know if it'll make any differance, if he'd just do one in the toilet he'd see it's alot less traumatic than having to be washed down every time he poos his pants and i'm sure he'd ask every time but for some reason he hates the idea of it

Pink - DS1 is also on potty strike today - has done 2 wees in the potty under maternal insistence and gets stroppy if I ask him if he needs to do a wee and replies "no" in a "are you insane woman" kind of tone...

Pesky toddlers...

Hi all. I am cured . Not really, obviously but I feel tons better atm. I haven't read today's posts as just wanted to update while I feed Luke but will scroll back in a sec.
The gp was crazy, crazy!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna keep it short because believe it or not, I'm boring myself, God only kniows how you lot feel everytime you see I've been on! [grin}
So went in, told gp I was feeling really down, and I cried, told him my mood swings are very extreme and most of the time I am acting like a spoilt 15 year old but am unsure if I'm just having a bad week or if it's pnd.
He then started to tell me how I feel instead of me telling him how I feel. He sdaid I'm frustrated and tired and that basically my dp clearly doesn't give me the praise and recognition I need, I'm sure he was just trying to give me an ego boost or something.....
Then he said I just need to get through the next 8 weeks (when Luke will be 19 weeks), when he'll start gedtting teeth and I can give him proper food
Then told me to go on holiday and then said he'd give me some sleeping pills. I told him I don't have trouble falling asleep (I'm sure I do it in the queue in tescos), it's staying thetre and there's no way I'm taking sleeping tabs while my dc's are in the house, that told him I'm fine as my first thought was what if I sleep through the baby needing me......So I came away feeling worse than when I went in! He ended up writing me out a slip for prozac.
I then went to see hv, who laughed and said gp clearly doesn't have a clue. So I ranted to her a bit about what's been happening and how Ifeel, but everything is split in 2. I have the sensible, logical side, then I have the stupid, petty, controlling side, and sometimes I'm unsure which voice to listen to........
She told me everything I've said is completely normal, she herself came close on many occasions to actually taking a bread knife out of the cutlery drawer and stabbing dh in the eye with it (her words). She thinks it could be a case of pnd or it could just be a bad few days, due to lack of sleep. I told her that I felt that ust because I'd recently had a baby doesn't mean I can't be in a bad mood every now and then like everyone else and that maybe jumping straight onto the PND bandwagon was a bit OTT (I am not knocking the advice and support any of you have given, I hope it doesn't come across that I do). She asked if taking meds to control my mood would make me feel like a failure mother and I really don't know. The logical bit of brain says of course not, if you are having a rough time and meds will help get through it, take them, but the other side is thinking maybe I just had a bad day........but if I don't take them, what happens when I have another day like that? Or even this morning? (reminds me I need to unpack stuff before fw gets home, I was moving out this morning, had appointment with council and everything). The thing is, when I get in a mood, I get in a mood. I want everyone to know and I want lots of attention. It is the spoilt little girl in me that comes rushing to the surface.
I even phoned MrsY earlier to find out what she did when she said a few weeks back that she was going through similar. She was also very helpful (like you've all been).

Not sure if I'm going to take the prozac or not. At this precise moment, I don't think I need them, but this time yesterday, I wanted to end my relationship and move out plus beat the shit out of dp. The fact of the matter is, the prozac won't cure my tiredness, and if these latest feelings are just down to lack of sleep, it won't matter if I take them or not, I will still be tired, thewy just may mask my downers, but will take upto 3 weeks to kick in when things could even out again on their own.........
I have phoned dp and apologised and he said "yeah, you say this every time this happens. So it's fine until the next time" And he's right, there will be a next time. It might be tomorrow or it might be next year, but this is me, I need to vent my anger ad frustration out on someone who I think is strong enough to deal with it.

I love dp very much. I adore and love my children very much. I love every different thing we each bring to our family unit and don't want to lose that.
I don't know why I have trouble remembering being exactly the same after jacob was born.

Anyway, enough about me, going to catch up on the day now.

PT He bath's Jacob and puts him to bed every night so he's not being completely useless, but he has this way of making me feel like I'm incapable. He'll get in from work and rush round picking up toys, cups, and anything else that might be out of place but he does it in a way that makes me feel it should have already been done.
STW Hope check-up and jabs went well. Hopefully it had the same effect on Sam as it has on my 2 and he's been out of it all day.
Calico I'm sure Lilian is doing fine. Like you say, she seems happy which is great.

Again, bypassing the potty talk. Although I probably should be reading it to better arm myself for it when it does start

Dp just got in and wants us all to go to supermarket together. I didn't manage it earlier as went straight into town for some bits after doctors, but Luke is back to feeding 3 hourly and I only tok the one bottle with me
Will I get Mother Of The Year? I think I should......

Meant to say, Jacob really made me laugh this morning, he was sat infront of tv watching Big Cook, Little Cook. BC said "have you washed your hands?" Jacob yelled "yeh!" Note to self - teach him to say yes not yeh

I haven't had a chance to catch up.

Hello everyone.

Hope you are all well.

Hello everyone.

(((LBB)))

PT, have a look at the crazy Poo goes to Pooland - link on this thread.

Swampster - the link doesnt work Was looking forward to reading the adventures of poo to DS1 tomorrow...

Evenin' all....lbb good advice from everyone....sorry you're having a rough time. Hope you don't think I'm being patronising but have you ever had any sort of therapy to talk about your feelings - somewhere where you can talk about you/your dp/your dc's to try to make sense of your situation and how you see it? It might take a while to get anything off the NHS but I wonder whether you might find it helpful even if you do it in 6 months time? It might not be your thing but I know lots of people who've found it helpful and might help you to see things a bit clearer.

PT and Dinky sorry about the potty training hiccups..(and glad DS2 seems on the mend again) hope they sort themselves out. Calico and MOS I really wouldn't push the potty training til you really think they're ready. Most of my NCT friends children (there are 7 in the group and a mix of boys and girls) aren't PT'd. So far it's just DS and another girl and they're all nearly 3. Welcome back Rosie - glad Milo is doing well.

Been feeling a bit low myself today. DS has started waking up early again (5 am) and just seems quite nervous and clingy and upset and I get a bit worried and tearful when he gets like this as he ends up being overtired in the day too making things even worse. I manage to get DD down to bed by 11pm after her late wake up feed and she's done so well so far only for DS to wake up screaming his head off at 5am really upset so I'm tired from that and hate starting the day like that. DH and I also end up rowing about the best way to deal with it. My MIL shouted at me last night when we were out - went out to a restaurant for DH's sisters birthday and I waited whilst DH's dad parked his car. He took ages to get it into the very large spot and then was parked up on the pavement. I pointed out that he could get a parking ticket if parked on the pavement at which point DH's mother yells at me.....basically telling me to butt out. So I walked away and ended up sobbing in the restaurant ladies before dinner before DH talked some sense into me. I felt such an idiot. My MIL apologised (she's generally a very nice, civilised woman but I do worry that things are bubbling under the surface sometimes)...redeemed myself as didn't want to ruin the evening. In-laws have been here all day helping with the kids - managed to go out most of the day as I really needed to let them get on with it on their own....it's been a long day ( the two glasses of red wine last night didn't help either)....Dh not home yet as he's been away abroad for the day....

Hope tomorrow is a better day....

Oh Herb - so sorry you're feeling blue too. Its really tough when your toddler is doing the early waking inconsolable screaming thing at the best of times - even more hard when you're coping with having a baby around AND everything else that life brings. Does your DS have a comforter toy that he takes to bed? It may be worth introducing one so he gets comfort from someone/thing other than you in the early hours of the morning. Also maybe worth trying the bunny clock - DS1 still wakes up ridiculously early - but at least stays quiet until the bunny is awake and then screams down the house telling DH and me that . Am holding out great hopes for his night sleep improving when he drops his day time naps (still kips for around an hour in the day) and starts nursery in September... I suspect your DS1 is waking so early and being so clingy because DD has come along. If its any consolation, my friends who live down the road from me in the 5 bed house have their 3 year old in bed with them ever since the baby arrived - I find it hilarious that they have 5 bedrooms and all 4 are in one room, not getting much sleep... And I hope things are ok with you and your MIL. Its a tricky road to tread with in laws but it sounds like you generally get on well with your inlaws so hopefully its just a one off blip.

Thanks Dinky - yes we have muzzies galore !! In fact he sleeps on, last count, 15 of them . I've also agreed to keep the little light on on the landing and he has the night light on his part of the monitor as he does have a bit of a thing about the dark. I think it's a bit of a delayed reaction to DD tbh. It's hard isn't it as he's a bit of a sensitive soul so with the whole PT thing too it's prob more than the little guy can cope with. I have a timer and he chose a bob the builder light a while ago so I think I might do the magic light thing first to see if that works - setting the timer for the light to go on at a time when he knows we'll go in and then moving the time 5/10 mins every few days....we'll see. at your friend....one thing we've sworn we won't resort to is having him in the bed with us to "give" in. He is such a fidget too - he'd never settle even if he did come in.

Yep, generally relations are good between me and mil and I'm pretty good with them and try to be fair about stuff re DC's and my own parents and sharing time etc so I think that's why I was upset about the way she spoke to me. She gets a bit stressed when we all go out (ie with DH's sister too) so she was a bit on edge....It was lovely getting the house back to myself tonight.

Have a friend coming over tomorrow for the day so hopefully we can chuck the kids out in the garden and have a good catch up.

herbie... sounds like a rotten night out. my mol is a bit like that too, the same bubbling under the surface thing. she'd defend her own no matter how wrong or out of order... dp and i had a fight once and she really had a nasty little go at me. apologised months later after dp's wole family basically told her i was in the right and either way it was none of her effing business if we fought. glad your mil apologised anyway, and at least they were around today to help with the kids (although that can be a mixed blessing can't it )

really feel for you with your ds's waking. is he in a cot or a bed? we found things improved massively with dd in the mornings when she went into a bed and could trundle out in the morning herself. still the first thing dd and ds1 do every morning is wander into our room for a cuddle... ds1 is quite often a bit whingy and upset when he does.... i think it's just and age thing that they grow out of tbh.

the timer is well worth a go, it can't hurt to try anyway

LBB - wanted to take time to read your posts properly before respnding. It sounds like quite a surreal visit you had to the GP. At least it sounds like your HV was much more helpful. You know you've been in this dark place before after DS1's birth and you came out of it again so you will do so again - if you need to take prozac to help you get there, so be it. Dont try to soldier on if there is help available for you - that goes for medical help from the GP, emotional help from the HV or physical help from your partner: people offering to help you doesnt mean you're not doing a great job - just means you're not superwoman and could do with a break here and there... I think Herb's suggestion of maybe some form of counselling is a good idea too - you clearly had a hard time of it with DS1's birth and even though DS2's birth was a million times better maybe it might have stirred some bad memories for you which, along with the sleep deprivation, are bringing back the dark times - though of course posting on MN with this group is clearly the best therapy of all

I must be alone in actually getting on better with my MIL than I do with my own mum... When DH and I have an argument (like for example when he went out and got rat arsed when supposed to be at work when DS2 was only a few weeks old and DS1 was ill) MIL always takes my stance whereas my mum and dad will always take DH's side . Think they're so delighted someone married me they're indebted to DH for life

LLB that sounds like you have a very good HV and i hope the next few days level out for you i really do.

Herb sorry to hear you are feeling low too

Im shattered! - have just finished doing our bedroom so must get off to bed shortly. Just wanted to see how LLB was doing before i turned in.

Dinky thanks for the kind WB - its pretty cramped here atm, when i lived in Guildford we had a much bigger house but DH and i were not living together was just me and the girls. This is DH's house and we moved in with him as a temporary but have to say im looking forward to buying our next much bigger house together

Dinky i also have to ask about the umbilical hernia thing that you mentioned in your post. When Milo had his 8 week checkup the GP diagnosed an umbilical hernia - its a pretty big one too but she just said it should go in by itself by the time he is one and to keep an eye on it. I dont know anything about them and wondered if you did? I have pressed it very lightly before now and both me and DH can feel air bubbles popping underneath - i also have some trouble putting him on his tummy for 'tummy time' im not sure if that is because he is uncomfortable because of the hernia or if he just doesnt like being on his tummy? I had a friend whos son was very poorly with a strangulated hernia at 8 weeks but she only told me about that two weeks ago - i didnt even know they were dangerous! If you know anything about them id be really grateful for some advice as the GP seemed a bit glib

Anyway going to take my knackered arse off to bed now Hope you all get a good nights sleep xx

I've found you all again! I'm not going to even try to catch up with what everyone has been doing

So how are you all?

We're doing well here. Fifi is 16 weeks tomorrow, where does the time go? She does have a squint (she had an appointment last week) although it's not made the eye lazy yet and her sight isn't affected yet. She will be seeing the eye doctor in a couple of months and we go ahead with whatever treatment from there. Fortunately we have caught it so early, especially with the amount of family history she has.

Tink is still brilliant with her sister and her sister loves her too! I love how they lie next to each other just looking in each others eyes and laughing. I really hope that they are always like this.

We've not moved yet but we're getting very close now. TBD is on secondment to Taunton from next week and everyone is concerned about me moving back whilst he's gone, but I will feel better in my own place. It will be easier to potty train Tink as I don't have to worry about having the potty in the living room or accidents; I will have better access to transport so I can get out more... I just generally miss my own space. Tink is getting very excited, she has a lovely Princess room (nothing princess allowed!) which is lilac and pink with hearts and butterflies. i decided not to have it as Disney or whatever princess so that it grows up with her a bit. I'm going to put some pictures up when it's finished.

Having fights with my GP about my back. They sent me for triage with the physio. I wasn't happy about it because I want to have it fully investigated first. They sent me for an x-ray, which was refused because "you're young, you might want more children" Another GP said he'd put his degree on the fact an x-ray wouldn't find anything, I need an MRI. He called me back later that day to say only the physio can send me for an MRI I am happy to have physio if they can show that there is nothing else going on and they won't cause further damage to go ahead with it. I was told by the first GP that the physio couldn't feel any damage which doesn't make me feel any more confident because anyone having a proper look at my back would find it is deformed, so much so that an A&E doctor had to call a specialist because they thought I'd crushed my spine in (another) fall.

We're spending the weekend in London with TBD's sons and going for a photo session. It's so cheap I didn't feel guilty about spending over £100 on clothes today!

Well that's the quick summary! I'll try to keep up with everything in future!

LBB sorry to hear you're feeling so crap but glad your HV being supportive. Hopefully you've taken the first step and you'll soon be well on the way to feeling like your old self and able to enjoy life again.

TBM god to see you back here. Glad your girls are doing well and hope your back issues are resolved properly. Am v. of your clothes shopping.

We've been enjoying the sunshine and the last few days of DS1's Easter hols. Had the paddling pool out and bbq today which DS1 was very excited about. Monday we went to the Princess Diana playground which was fab.

Think DS2 might be coming down with something as he's unusually been quite miserable today, poor little one. Got our 8 week checks tomorrow.

Back off to bed now!

morning all
LBB, you sounded a bit more positive in your last post which is good. Have to say your GP sounds like a twat though, thank god the HV has a bit more common sense. Glad you've realised you do love your dp before you did something you'd regret

herby, sorry your DS is getting up so early. DD was doing this regularly until literally last week when we got back from holiday and this morning she only wandered downstairs at around 7am. Usually she comes in around 6am which is fine as we are up then as DH starts work at 7am. Fingers crossed your DS starts to sleep a little longer and gives you some rest

TBM, welcome back, wondered where you were. Agree with you ref bedrooms, DD's room in the UK is pink with flowers and butterflies which hopefully will last longer than something like barbie

rosie, hope you managed to get some sleep

THOM, hope your DS is ok and wasn't coming down with anything

potty training not really happening at the moment. She keeps sitting on it and saying she will get her bike but won't perform and I've just had to clean up a big puddle at the top of the stairs (thankfully its a tiled floor) at least its our weekend now so hopefully with DH around we can keep at it.