Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

[dinkystinky]

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

morning all, not had a chance to read anything but saw your post swampy and have been over there and advised. Thanks for that, its nice to feel wanted. Just off to meet a friend for coffee, back later. Hope everyone is ok x

spotty - jealous of your sleep last night. Lilian has a cold and was awake grizzling all night.....bleughhhh I need some kip now but have NCT group coming over this morning - wonder if they'll notice if I fall asleep on the sofa?

thom sorry you had a rough night.
spotty that's a great night's sleep

My night wasn't too bad, I fell asleep on sofa at 10pm, was woken at 11:30 by both boys screaming, so I git my pillow and blanket and layed on ds1's floor again and woke at 3:15 to Luke crying for his bottle and dp in the kitchen getting it ready so got into bed and we surfaced at 6:30 this morning. Feel tons better for a bit of sleep, although my back and neck know they spent most of the night on the floor. Nevermind.
Having bloods taken later, not looking forward to that.
Hope everyone else has a good day

I have had no sleep again!!!!!! DS is full of cold and has been upset most of the night... At least he was not screaming last night just crying!!! He is asleep now the sun (and dd) are up though surprise surprise.....

Still it is a good job he is so gorgeous or he might find himself out on his ear.....

I am just so pleased that he has not been so sick because it means it cant be reflux as i first feared....

I slept and am well rested [smug]

oh you @@&&*&&@@@ swampster dont rub it in.........

starting to think aaron has a mild case of silent reflux. he doesn't puke a huge amout (nothing compared to dd although definitely more than ds) but he really seems to hate lying flat alot of the time. he was screaming in the middle of the night for ages and wouldn't settle but when i lay down with him propped up on my arm he dozed right off and had to be woken when i was going out with the kids to playschool at 9.

same last night, every time i held him horizontally in my arms, or lay him on his tummy he started screaming frantically and i ended up swaddling him and letting him fall asleep upright against my chest on the couch and he slept happily but when i put him in the crib when i went to bed he started grumbling and groaning and woke wihin half an hour screaming.

pempe what horrible advice.... your dh deserves a twat across the back of the head for even considering it tbh

mrsy... lol at you having a bed for her already but you know what, at that price you're damn right to have snatched it up. it sounds lovely

re the front sleeping, the reason is increases risk of sids is because it is more comfortable for them. they sleep more deeply which means is the have an episode of apnea while that soundly asleep they don't startle awake and resume breathing like they would on their backs. as for the puking on their backs when aaron was first admitted to scbu he was puking and coughing up blood and i went to turn him on his side and the nurses reassured me that a baby will turn their head to the side if they puke, they didn't seem to feel there was any danger of choking. and having had a baby who puked constantly i have to say she never did choke on her back, spluttered a bit sometimes but was always fine whereas the scariest puke incidant i've had was when ds1 was a little older and got a vomiting bug. he was on his tummy in the cot and i heard a weird noise on the monitor and found him face down in a pool of vomit half drowning in it as it was getting up his nose.

have decided today is the day i start sorting the house out, even if i can only do it in 5 mins snatches i need to start cleaning as the bit we do each evening just isn't keepig on top of thef filth and it's depressing me now, going to start upstairs by tidying our room and reorganising aarons jumbled up pile of clothes and putting away what doesn't fit and replacing with what does (he's grown out of newborn, 0-3 is tight and last night he was in a 3-6 babygro and it fit just fine)

Blimey PT, Meredith's still in newborn!

SMS, meant to say last night, everything I've heard or read says water is only necessary in very hot weather, or if they are really constipated...

I'm really because I called the shop just now to say I'm not sure I can pick the furniture up today, and they said if we don't get it by tomorrow night they will resell it... Arses.

that's awful mrsy... what a horrible way to do business. do they offer delivery? if they do might be worth paying the delivery charge if you can't collect it yourself rather than losing out. surely they can't resell it if you've paid though?

Arseholes MrsY. By the way I have just made your thai butternut squash soup. It smells good....

Oh i always post with the good intentions of posting every day but it has ended up being about once a week at the moment

Hope everyone is ok and managing to get some sleep in here or there. Milo is keeping me up every night and im soooo tired! He goes to bed has his feed (hes solely on formula now) at around 11ish then wakes up sometime between 2 or 3 has another one then is up for the night or at least 3 hours wide awake and crying if hes not picked up or stimulated. The other problem is i cant get him to stay in his basinette at all either. Literally the minute he is put down (anywhere) he wakes up and it doesnt matter if he hasnt had any sleep he just wakes up and starts crying.

I tried leaving him yesterday but he just ended up screaming and i couldnt bear to let him get in such a state over not being hugged but i know its a bit of a nightmare because essentially he just wont go to sleep or stay asleep unless he is in someones arms (anyones will do)! Any advice on no1 trying to get him to stay asleep at night as im really struggling on 3 or 4 hours atm and no2 getting him to stay in his basinette as im worried about co sleeping with him as im not bfing and am a bit paranoid about SIDS (have angelcare monitor in his basinette so feel he is safer in there).

Hes going to be 5 weeks on Friday - i cant remember when they start to smile either its been so long but i am really looking forward to that - might make being up all night a bit more palatable

PT read your post with interest because Milo likes sleeping propped up on my arm too and seems to only like sleeping in someones arms which would mean hes not laid flat - he does sick up a fair bit but doesnt seem to be in any pain - i tried yesterday to get him to lay flat in his basinette and he screamed and the minute i picked him up he stopped - im sure hes not in pain maybe he just really wants the comfort i dunno ... wish i knew how to get him to stay in his basinette at night though. He is right next to me infact i stroke him and everything but its not good enough he wants to sleep propped up on my arm - any advice would be gratefully recieved as im soooo tired and i have a baby who seems to hardly ever sleep and when he does he wakes up so easily ( especially when i put him down ) Sorry for rambling just wondered if anyone else is going through the same sort of thing?

Hello Everyone! Just stopping by quickly because Sam and I are now home ! Blood cultures came back clear so it's all put down to an unspecified virus. Got a few days of antibiotics to give orally which weem to be causing a few tummy upsets, but it's great to be home! I'm desparately tired because there really isn't much sleep to be had on a children's ward, with nurses in every two hours to check temperatures etc then in between that feeding and winding...

I've managed to produce another windy, sicky baby and I too am wondering about reflux again. DD was on Gaviscon for it, but the being sick didn't bother her. Sam on the other hand seems to be in some discomfort and sleeps very fitfully.

How long are your LO's going between feeds? Sam is being bottle fed with EBM and sometimes goes for 3 hours, but sometimes only 1 or 2 before needing a top up. I'm changing teats to the no. 2 type in case he is having to suck too hard and getting worn out... Feeling like I can't venture out much at the moment as never know when he'll need a feed. If you are out and about and your LO needs feeding, what do you do with your toddler? I suppose it means finding somewhere with a highchair to control them or strapping them in the buggy ....

I'm also feeling overwhelmed with domestic chores and are calling our old cleaners today for some help! I will survive on beans on toast to pay for them!

THOM - would love to meet up at some point when I feel brave enough for a trip out with the two sprogs! Just need a couple of pracise runs!!!

Littlesez- I meant to say, don't worry about calling your doctor or health visitor with any worries you may have. I was fully expecting to be sent packing from A&E on Saturday so was shocked to be admitted so quickly. They don't take any chances with little babies and I now have no worries about wasting anyone's time. Like they say, trust your instinct. Right, off to express now ready for next feed. catch you later.

PS - has any one tried using a dummy for settling (not for breastfeeders yet!)? It has worked a few times with Sam so I'm keeping one handy for night time.

Catstar am so glad you are out of hospital and that little Sam is on the mend - i do use a dummy for settling (mostly because of the recommendation from the SIDS site) and it does help settle Milo - i think it helps particularly if you have a sucky baby.

catstar, congratulations on having him home you must be so relieved.

i use a dummy with aaron a bit even though he's exclusivly bf.

he wasn't allowed to feed until he was over 36 hours old so when the nurses suggested a dummy i was happy to give it as i wanted him to be sucking on something to stimulate his sucking reflex. he wasn't mad about it although oddly if i wasn't there he took it happily enough!

have 2 here but about the only time they get used is in the car for dd to plop in his mouth if he's unsettled or the odd time if he's very windy but still thinks he wants to feed. that said even when he's given the dummy he rarely takes it. dd was a massively sucky baby and i was ordered to get a dummy for her by the phn to save my nipples from more damage but she was 8 weeks before she really took it. ds1 wasn't given one til 5 weeks and was the only one of the 3 to take a liking to it straight away.

have gotton a fair bit done, our room is tidied, just needs hoovering, same for en suite and aaron's room/pc room, got a load of baby clothes sorted and have a bag of little girl things i kept just in case i was wrong to give to a friend. just need to tidy the kids bedroom and bathroom now.

unfortunately i was so busy spring cleaning i forgot to collect dd cue me running out 20 mins late with ds1 with no shoes on and whinging about a pooey nappy and aaron flung from bed to carseat and shoved in the car. playschool teacher luckily thought it was very funny and regaled me with tales of all the other mothers who've forgotton their children and dd had a great time with the old folks who have the hall after playschool, apparently she told them all about her new baby

Hi everyone. I'm lounging in bed with the laptop - In laws are downstairs occupying DS and DD is in bed napping ! thank god. DD woke at 1.30am and then 4am last night and was so flippin' noisy in between with her grunting snorting and vomming that I didn't sleep much.

Rosie - not sure what advice you want as I'm not sure what sort of "parenting" you prefer really ....It's hard as it's all so personal. I'm the (self confessed control freak) "flexible" routine person but that doesn't suit everyone - not a GF but my own routine that suits me. I try to feed at regular times and nap at roughly the same times and also try to keep her awake for periods of time in the day so that we are hopefully leading towards her sleeping more at night and less in the day -easier said than done.

That said, we are all doing different things and approaching this differently on this thread but all of us are having rough nights and good nights so it all comes out in the wash so to speak and all our babies are so little soon they are just doing what comes naturally to them at the time- they just need us a lot don't they !

DD can be happy as you like until I present her with the swaddle and the chance for a horizontal kip and things change in a murmur. I swaddle her through the yelling, then pick her up, sway a bit , loud shush in the ear and get her calmed down and then plonk and walk away - the moment her head hits the mattress regardless of how calm she is she always starts to yell again but I know she's fine as she's been loving the upright cuddles. I leave her to yell a bit (5 mins maybe - seems longer) and go and do something else so I'm distracted. She's usually gone by then but if not repeat above til she does - I sometimes find going back 2/3 times is enough to calm her to go off - she's often just lying there by the third time sort of crying in her sleep so she's clearly knackered but just can't quite make it - a little rub between the eyes usually gets her off. I'm not sure many babies go appily down for a nap/sleep (well neither of mine have anyway) as why would they want to swap your lovely cuddly warm arms for a cool mattress.

I've also found warming up the bed (take out bottle before baby goes in) can help - but also SMS and DInky had some good advice re a blanket and transferring in to the bed so they think you're still there IYSWIM ? (can't remember all of it- sorry!)

I use a dummy to calm DD down - she's a sucky baby and as Ff doesn't get the sucking a b/f baby gets. DS was the same and now he sucks his thumb. I tend not to leave her with it though as it becomes more trouble than it's worth plonking it in and out. I'd rather cuddle her and then put her down as she gets to sleep quicker.

God,I'm going on aren't I ,sorry and hope I'm not sounding preachy....or that you're all thinking what a freak I am !!!

Anyway, might try to have a kip now. I am officially addicted to the Internet.... and mumsnet in particular

PScatstar - glad you've all been released and that Sam is on the mend. PT at forgetting DD...you must have been loving that housework !

Hi all, just popping on while they're both asleep and while I'm not doing the housework
lardy so sorry you had a crap night, but peased ds doesn't have reflux, is horrid and don't think I'd wish a reflux baby on my worst enemy (which I'm starting to see is myself )
PT Poor Aaron, the positive is that at least there is a position he'll sleep in iykwim. Ds1 never slept, only when he was soooooo exhausted from the screaming, he hated laying flat, hated on his side, hated the front, hated upright, wasn't too bad being held, but if you even moved yr little finger, you'd had it!
MrsY Thanx re water, that's what I was thinking, but my dad says I'm mean for not giving water, so I'll tell him to do one! What fuckers saying they'll re-sell your items, surely they can't do that, you've paid for them! Hope you or someone else can get down there.
rosie Not going through that this time, than God, have you tried swaddling? I don't like it and haven't done it for either of mine but it might trick Milo into thinking he's being held, someone also suggested putting a hot water bottle in the crib before you put Milo in to warm it up a bit (take it out before putting him in obviously). Start wrapping him in blanket while he's still in arms and try to put him in a warm crib. I used to keep both hands on ds1 for a while too. Really hope it gets better, I've been exhausted and seriously thought I was going to have a breakdown!
catstar So pleased yoy're back home and Sam is on the mend. Really good news.
Re feeding when out, I strap Jacob in his pushchair and sing the wheels on the bus, keeps him happy for a little while and now keep a whole box of rusks in my change bag. I use a dummy too, well not me, the babies It does help settle (both of them) and will stretch out feeding for Luke.

I've 100% decided to forget all routines now, I'm going to hand over all control and roll with whatever the boys want (within reason). Can't believe I am in exactly the same boat as most of you but am finding myself in meltdown. Maybe I am just a bit of a drama queen?

SMS you are not a drama queen..........

PT You have been busy. at forgetting to collect dd.

That reminds me, I'm viewing a school for a nursery place for ds1 at the end on the month. He won't go until he's 3, but thought it's about time I sorted it.

Thanks herb

PT-Ergo is brilliant soft carrier. I borrowed one to try but found it was a bit wide of the shoulder (am 5'5" and 14/16) so tried patapum but that had 2 differnt size ranges and I wanted one that did all sizes so tried Beco which fitted me really well. I would definately suggest try before you buy on ant carrier or sling as they are definately not cheap!!

LBB-Truly offended you can't be bothered to read my tome!!!

Honeymoon period at an end...Niamh has colic and wants to sit all night holding onto my nips!! Clearly not going to do that as I already have more then enough milk...over stimulation for comfort not going to happen
About to be called for feed! and there she is!

Rosie SIDS is no more likely in babies who co-sleep (in fact in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm they often have no concept of SIDS or even a term for it) but risks do exist if you roll on your baby or allow them to overheat. Both risks can be minimmised by a bit of planning: Tarran & I sleep on our sides face to face. I have both my arms round him so have his head in crook of my left arm and I put my right arm round his botttom. That way I can't roll on him nor can he wriggle up under my pillow nor fall out of bed. I wrap the duvet round my waist and Tarran has his own blanket.

Oh bless you both for the advice - i think its just a bit like Herb says probably and its just little babies. I dunno if i am attachment parenting or going the stricter more routiney route lol he sort of wont let me do the latter and just loves his cuddles. I have literally just put him down for a nap and he wakes up every 5 mins or so has a cry or moan then drifts off again - i think he officially hates his basinette y'know.

SMS i do swaddle him but he fights against it - i used to do it for my girls and it worked a treat i even spent 30 bloody quid on those miracle wrap swaddle blankets from mothercare and he still seems to hate it (although we think he looks cute a bit like a sausage roll )

I shouldnt be moaning as i dont have a toddler to look after but i honestly mean it when i say that he never seems to sleep just bloody cat nap!

Herb you dont sound preachy - good advice and i am grateful for any atm i think i will try warming the matress up before hand, getting a muslin and making it smell like me and putting that in with him and just keep trying. I am even considering getting an Ambynest hammock thingy because i have friend who swears by them but we dont have much room in our bedroom so im a bit .

You are right it will all come out in the wash but i never had this with my other three could just plonk them down all swaddled and they would sleep nicely for about 4 hours wheras his lordship here just loves his cuddles too much i think. Im going to try a few more things and then give up and just 'wear' him in a sling! Might even start co sleeping with him as poor DH is going to work knackered and i worry about his hour commute each way in the car and driving tired. Have seen a very cool baby breathing monitor (paranoid mummy emotcion) that attaches to babys nappy so wouldnt need to put it under mattress or anything and it would only pick up on his breathing - god ill do anything for some sleep cant you tell!?

Thanks once again for the advice ladies xx

Just read your most recent post Herb. I am getting so much conflicting advice atm - truth is i co slept with all my girls but have gotten so paranoid because people have told me that that if i am not bfing that i shouldnt co sleep as he will be more at risk than a bf baby. I bought one of those snuggle nests ( like a fold out bed ) to try him in that in between us but nope its still not good enough and so i end up just like you with Milo in the crook of my arm facing him. I have woken up through sheer exhaustion though once where i had turned my back to him - he was fine but i wasnt and worried myself silly after that. I think if i put him on the top of the duvet in the crook of my arm with his own independent blankets and that breathing monitor that thats probably all i can do to negate myself worrying if we do have to end up going the co sleeping route. Take it from me i love cuddling up to him ive just gotten so paranoid since stopping bfing because of what i was told about co sleeping with a ff baby hence why i wanted him to go in his basinette because i thought he would be safer there iyswim ...