Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

[dinkystinky]

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

Rosie, it is scary. I never co-slept with DS1 because I believed all the scare stories but I figure it's not called cot death for nothing... Just to say with the duvet you shouldn't put Milo on top of yours as it will still make him too warm and probably the surface won't ba as firm as it should. I have developed a way of wrapping it round my waist and then having it diagonally across my body so my exposed shoulder - the "top" one is also covered but Tarran is well clear of the duvet. Or sleep in a cardie to keep you warm.

Must admit Rosie co-sleeping terrifies me as I know they'd sleep and I wouldn't through fear of them falling out or squashing them....I know they say it can't really happen if the other rules are followed but I'd never forgive myself...

HOM yeah i shouldnt have said i would sleep with him on the top of the duvet cause to be honest the couple of times i have i have put duvet around waist and DH and I sleep in our bathrobes - it gets quite cold in here at night because i also sleep with a fan on winter and summer!

How do I join this club? I 'popped' on the 18th Feb.

Not sure about Grobag eyes, but a german friend of my husband's asked him if he was Lord of the Rings? Apparently being lord of the 'eye' rings is a phrase for dad's in germany.

Hi Beantin just add yourself to the most recent list (a few pages back). Welcome and congratulations

I have been co-sleeping with DD but unintentionally as I dropped off to sleep whilst rocking her in my arms a couple of times. I did wake up a couple of hours later in a panic wondering where she was....she was, of course, still in the crook of my arm but it gave me a fright. I have now got a soft carry cot which I lie on top of the bed so she is with me but in her own space too.

catstar - great news about Sam

Chilled I just want to give it my full attention! Will read it tonight, promise.
rosie I don't know figures or anything, sure you'll find some if you do a google search, but out of all the babies born, I am pretty sure that the amount who sadly die of SIDS is probably relatively small whether co-sleep or not. Like others have said, as long as you do a bit of forward planning and don't do anything silly, like lay baby under huge duvet in between you and dh, lo will most likely be fine. You can take all the advice you want but ultimately it's your decision.
Co-sleeping is definitely not for me, but I would wrap duvet around my waist like others have said and wear a dressing gown to keep my top half warm. Agree with thom that duvet might be too hot under him.
Hiya Beantin Congrats, boy or girl?

We've had another ggod day today, I had my blood test which wasn't nice and got some funny looks singing postman pat while they were sticking me!
Came home, ds had lunch, went to bed, I tidied up a bit, came on here, watched Jeremy Kyle, fed Luke at 3, then took them straight to park so left probably half 3 and got in at 5:30!! Park's only round the corner, but I did let ds1 walk home.
I really am gonna do the ironing tonight, really I am, I am, I am, I am. I have Luke in the carrier now, he is getting very unsettled at about 5 every evening, not sure if it's colic, he does look like he has a little pain, but nothing this past week or so settles him so I have decided to just pop him in carrier on me which has sent him to sleep.
I want to re-start his bedtime routine soon so ds1 sees him go to bed too iyswim, it might heelp ds1 settle better if he knows we aren't keeping Luke with us. For now, I may just 'hide' Luke in bedroom for that half hour, I'm too tired to start routine until I know I'll stick to it.

my upstairs is habitable again

every nook and cranny was attacked, sorted through all the overgrown clothes and have a huge stack of girls stuff for charity and friends now. rather embarressing how many bags of rubbish got brought down though... think we were verging on kim and aggie territory tbh it's all sparkly and nice now though, the kids were miraculously well behaved and i let aaron sleep on his tummy on the bed in each room i was doing so he's had lots of sleep (amazing really considering how many times i pulled the blankets off him to check his breathing!)

going to tackle downstairs over the next few days.... am really excited about my house getting back to normal... how sad is that?! so nice being able to do it without being crippled afterwards too.

rosie, i've never heard that about co-sleeping and ff babies, i know tonnes of people who've co-slept with ff babies... tbh it seems to be the norm over here as i know alot more people who've co-slept than didn't... two woman i know have 12 year olds that still sneak in the odd night i'd co-sleep with him if i were you and sling during the day, sounds like it would be easier to just let him be close constantly rather than try and fight it. those ambynest things look lovely but it's alot of money if he hates it, could you bring him round to your friends and let him try out hers and see if he looks like he'd settle in it?

chilled.... thanks for the advice. problem round here is there are no places that rent them or allow you to try before yoy buy, it's all internet and no-one i know uses slings so can't borrow any to try. if ergo is a complete bust i'll just have to recoup some of the money selling it on and try something else... have never splashed out on a double buggy so can justify the expense a little.

sms... your ds1 and my dd were scarily similar babies! she also never slept unless she passed out from exhaustion and was uncomfortable in every position imagionable. that's why i think if aaron has a bit of reflux it is very mild so not too worried about it really, do feel awful for him when he's obviously miserable though... it must be so scary being a baby in pain not knowing what's going on or if it's going to stop.

hello beantin, congratulations

overgrown clothes? interesting concept but oviously i did mean outgrown

Ah sod it i might as well just go with the flow and co sleep anyway - like i said my other three were all in bed with me lol infact the girls used to take it in turns over whos night it was in my bed before i met DH and DH is on stag weekend the one after this and they are already arguing over whos going in ( they dont know its probably going to be Milo! )

Will have to get a nice comfy sling now too as baby bjorn one doesnt seem to be doing my back any favours either. PT friend lives in Leeds unfortunately and i only saw her Amby when i was visiting - your right though they are very expensive!

Well done for having a good old sort out too PT its a nice feeling when its done isnt it? I am just too bloody knackered to get anything but the basics done here im afraid.

SMS ive been promising myself i will get the ironing done as well but its been there for a week and all ive done is DH's shirts i just cant seem to get it together to do ironing at all and whilst the girls will help out with laundry they cant iron for toffee bless em!

Calico that soft cot that you use on the top of your bed sounds similar to the snuggle nest i got for Milo but he just wont wear it ... he needs to actually be touching me or at least right next to me. Its funny isnt it how different they all are - like i said my girls would all be happy plonked into a moses basket but still ended up co sleeping with me in the end anyway ( more for my benefit as i liked having them close ).

PT, have a look at the slingmeet site.

Hi all, sorry , quite lkate with my announcment: had a baby boy on 23rd of Feb. scarily long labour: 18 hours on epidural only, forceps, ventoushe and almost ended up with c-section. But in the end managed to push him out! he was stuck apprently.
helathy baby boy , 7 pouinds 10 ounz.
3rd degree tear, episiotomy, OMG, id it hurt, the transition stage when the epidural wore off!!!!

Aargh - I bloody hate jobsworths.

Got over to MIL and chucked a load of washing in her machine, and then jumped in car to go get the furniture. When we got there, the guys loading up my car said they can keep stuff for much longer than 24 hours, and have loads of space in the warehouse. They said that some of the girls can be a bit 'rigid'! Unfortunatly couldn't get everything in my car, so my in-laws had to go back this evening to get the last few bits.

At least it means we can get her stuff out of our room and free up a bit of space, but it's going to be a week of tidying. MIL is coming round tomorrow afternoon to help - but hate her seeing how messy upstairs is - her house is immaculate. Well, she can afford a cleaner (despite not working) and she hasn't just had a baby! Have to empty study, then decorate, then fill with nursary stuff, then tidy our room, then tackle the spare room... Plus I'm hosting the next Pot Luck dinner on saturday, so will have to remove the mountains of crap on the dinning table!!

Madam is really miserable tonight and John is working late, so I really hope he is up for a couple of hours of daddy-dancing so I can have a bath... I feel like curling up and crying, but I know I can't blame her, she looks so uncomfortable, poor soul.

Congratulations Rani

Rosie, I'm more comfortable with babies sleeping very close than actually in our bed - I don't drink or smoke and dp gave up smoking a few years ago and rarely drinks - but I do like my duvet! However, ds1 (2 in May) was mostly ff from a week old and has been known to sleep in our bed - between us but never under the duvet.

I've mentioned this thread to someone whose baby is now 5 weeks old, we were talking about our concerns with feeding, weight gain etc in breast and bottle feeding. Hope latecomers are welcome.

Pempe, 8 hours between feeds sounds absurd, and I agree with everyone else who's said something about that. I would ask my dp not to even repeat such stuff to a paediatrician, in case they got the wrong idea about us and thought we might neglect the baby, but I'm sure you're not going to follow such crazy advice anyway.

Evening all. Catstar - glad you and Sam are in the clear and back home and Beantin welcome to our gang

Pink - most impressed at your cleaning frenzy but even more amused at your forgetting DD That's a definite case of new-baby brain....

Rosie - here are the things that we did with DS1 (being first time parents - he would NOT co sleep,he was a co-insomniac, so we had to work on getting him to sleep in his cot): swaddling, sleep cues (whatever you want to do - a story or a bath or massage before bed) as evening bed time approaches, white noise (lulls them back to sleep - DS1 loved the sound of tropical rain, you can get all kinds of downloads on itunes like that), a worn top of mine in the cot (makes it smell like mum) and a hot water bottle to warm it up before you pop the baby in to the cot. Another bit of advice I got given was that if it is a big cot, try putting rolled up blankets around the edges to make it more nest like (babies dont like the huge feeling of space around them which is why they love sleeping on front/in crooks of arms/on chests) - never did it as had Stokke mini cot which was nice and cozy as it was. That said, I've been part co-sleeping with Danny since the beginning (though am phasing it out as he's now in his cot at night times - swaddled with a piece of my clothing in there to make it smell like me - and just comes into bed with me for feeds) and DH has been relegated to the spare bedroom (he's a light sleeper and even though we've got a big bed, not that comfortable with co-sleeping). DH and Danny will trade rooms at some point in the next couple of months I suspect. At the end of the day, you just need to do what works for you and your family; if co-sleeping is what works, why fight it?

Chilled - are you going to try a dummy on Niamh? DS1 was a pretty sucky baby - would take a dummy under duress (much preferred my nipples though) until he found his hands at 6 weeks - and then would happily suck his fingers instead. Re oversupply - BF counsellor advised me to try biological nurturing (not great, Danny kept falling asleep), feeding in more upright leaning back position and if really too much milk, feeding from the same boob for various feeds (e.g. all feeds for 3 or 4 hours from left, then on the other side).

Had a busy day today with Danny - hearing test this morning (followed by a 3 mile walk home as the weather was too nice to waste - Danny snoozed the whole time we were out), weighing this afternoon (Danny has joined the chubba bubba club - 4 weeks old and now 10 lbs 11 oz from the 8lbs 6 oz he was born at) where the evil health visitors (a) kept me waiting for an hour to weigh him and (b) then put the fear of god in me re a rash on his body (which I'd put down to new baby rash) telling me I absolutely had to get it checked out by a doctor NOW so then spent the next 2 hours trying to get into see a GP - who was lovely and told me I was right and it was new baby rash. Bloody health visitors!!

Rani - congratulations on the safe arrival of your little boy. Sorry it was such a gargantuan labour for you though.

Elkiedee - latecomers are always welcome; the more the merrier

MrsY - could you take M in the bath with you? I used to find in the early days that water always used to chill out DS1 when he was howling blue murder (probably why he's a total water baby now) and he'd invariably fall asleep after his bath. Well done on getting your furniture for M too(what a bargain! But what arses in the shop threatening to resell your stuff - which they simply cant do)...

PT YOu are a busy lady! Sounds good, don't overdo it though
Rani Huge congratulations! All that worry and you did it, well done. Bet it wasn't as bad as you'd built it up to be though? (although it is just the worst pain isn't it? Just with the best result)
MrsY It's alot worse dealing with a misery-guts when the man isn't around isn't it? Hope she has settled for you and you got your bath and a bit of sleep.
dinky Hv's are such fuck-wits aren't they? Suppose like anything else they just have to cover their arses. If it had been something and they'd missed it......anyway, just goes to show really that parental instinct rises above though.

Jerky's having trouble settling after his last feed, so we are sitting in living room so dp can get some sleep. I just can't get this wind out and thought I'd better stop trying for a minute or so. He has brought up a bit of milk after every feed today and has been especially uncomfortable. I pray it's not reflux

Morning everyone
Our visit to the paediatricians went well yesterday - Harry weighs 11lb 7oz, he's 5 weeks so that puts him in the 95th percentile i knew all those chins meant something.

Luckily the Dr rubbished the ridiculous 'only water at night' idea and my DH, to my relief, realised the idea was absurd too. She has told me that because Harry is growing quickly, it would be a good idea to offer a bottle of expressed BM after the midnight feed, to try to get him to sleep a bit longer at night. So, I spent yesterday expressing after every feed, and now have gargantuan boobs as a result. At 12.30am, he took from me and the bottle, and slept for 2.5 hours. We may need a few days to get into this....

what does everyone have planned for today?

Another sleepless night with snotty Lilian - poor sausage can't breathe unless I hold her upright .

Pempe Harry sounds lovely and chubby. I am seeing HV this afternoon to check on Lilian's weight - hopefully she'll be back up to birth weight otherwise I'll be worried. I'm still not getting the hang of breast feeding - Lilian fights me and chokes a lot - but I think it is because she has a cold and can't breathe properly. I have ordered an electric breast pump and hopefully I can express more and feed her with a bottle of EBM and it won't be such a battle....

Rani well done but sorry it was such an epic labour.

Dinky what a PITA.....!

PT can you come and sort out our house? There are piles of baby/toddler clothes everywhere and I can't even face the kitchen...

Morning. Sorry you guys are having bad nights. Ours wasn't too hot either, I was up with Luke for 2 hours then ds1 woke screaming, but I did the man thing and pretended to be asleep and left dp to get up.

Everyone come and laugh at me, I have left Luke asleep in the bouncy chair, where I normally put him back in basket, but it's a different chair and is really reclined, ds1 spent all day in it when he was a baby. Anyway, I keep looking into the basket and am having moments of real panic OMG where's my baby????????
What an idiot

Sorry - no time to catch up on everyone's posts, we're having bad nights too with dd. She's very snuffly and gives herself wind as she feeds, then cries with the wind.

Are there any other tandem nursers on here? I know TBM was - I was on the pregnant and nursing thread for a bit, until I had to wean ds because it was too painful. Ds has decided he wants to nurse again, and still has his latch! His speech has really developed since we last nursed, it's really funny to hear him nursing and mumbling, "Mmm...delicious!"

Morning all....its been a while since ive been on here, been having some problems with Poppy's feeding. She has been throwing up after EVERY feed - not just a little but what looks like the whole bottle!
I got really worried yesterday, as it seemed like she had not eaten in about 24 hours, so I took her to the doctors. Doctor said she has Reflux? Not too sure what it is, other than alot of sick!
He has given her Gaviscon sachets, so im hoping they will work.

Got a mountain of sicky babygrow washing to get going sorted now, so I will try catch up with everything later on.
I dont know how you all manage to get on here so much....I thought I was the most organised person in the world - Then i had a baby

raisingrrrl. i was on the preg and nursing thread too but my ds1 didn't really feed much after xmas and when i offered when i came home with aaoron as i was treally engorged he'd lost the ability to latch good luck with the tandaming though

calico.... by the time i'm actually finsihed with my spring cleaning the urchins are going to have destroyed it again so think i'm permanently booked solid for cleaning duty here have just run out to the discount shop and picked up shelves for the playroom so will be tackiling that today i think.... eek!

dinky... what a horrible day. my PHN did similar when we moved here, ds1 has a rash on his face and she put the fear of god into me about it... had to drive 1.5 hours to our old home as we were still listed with our gp there (lord knows how the PHN found us so quickly ).... gp looked at me like i'd lost the plot bringing ds1 in about a little rash... i'm normally not the type to bring them for anything at all really so he must have thought i'd lost my mind with all the fresh country air!

mrsy, glad you got the furniture although sounds like a pain in the arse doing so. hope she settled for you a bit last night (or that you got a few hours break at least)

KT Reflux is where the valve at the top of the stomach that holds all food and acid in isn't strong enough so food and acid travels back up the pipes (can't spell proper word for it) resulting in them being sick and having that pleasant acid smell about them. Ds1 had it really bad, he'd have a 6oz bottle and no word of a lie, it looked like he was sicking up about 4 every time. It is awful to watch isn't it? Are you bf or ff? I ff and was given gaviscon and was told he'd be on it for the entire time he was taking milk, I wasn't happy with that so got formula on prescription which was also handy as it saved me the cost of a tin a week.
Reflux Top Tips
Hold baby upright as much as possible and ideally for 45 mins after each feed.
Try not to rub the back to wind, use just tapping so as not to aggrivate any more.
Don't bother with proper outfits, babygro's from here
When out, take at least 2 changes of clothes for baby

Am sure that I'll remember more about it all, ds1 is now 19m and is fine, he was still sick way into weaning but was far more comfortable after different formula.