June 2008: Nine months in, nine months out

[Essie3]

Here's to the next nine months!

agree re parents defining the experience - my mum taught at v.good top 10 school for years and lost track of the kids who didn't meet their parents expectations as parents did bugger all but think paying for eduation was be all/end all

Just went and spied on your pg post Sponge - at least you and Elsie made up in the end
BTW - I was showing my Mum my FB profile at the weekend, and I showed her your photos because I have mentioned visiting you, and the miracle pg too. My Mum declared that you look like a "lovely person" with a very "beautiful smile".

Thanks for your thoughts about schools. So it looks like P might be in trouble then as he is the offspring of unmarried atheists . He will have to rely on his intelligence and good looks to get a decent education .

Five I remembered you saying you were having trouble with your local schools. Sounds like a complete pain.

Poppy my Mum was a teacher too. She taught reception at a private school. She had some younger siblings put down for the school whilst they were still bumps.

sponge i have to say I agree with you I would far rather people new and then support me through a mc rather than have to tell them after the event if that makes any sense at all.

can you link to the thread as I can'st search for messages since they have changed

Sponge's thread? here You can find it though by clicking on someone's profile and seeing which threads they are posting on. (Sorry if you already knew that)

P slept from 7 till 4.30, with a brief wake up at 9 which was resolved with some singing and not feeding. Then he went back down AWAKE and slept till 6.

Ali- you rock! What great news!!!

Unmarried atheists here too, we're screwed!! . I am sure the question of school will loom up very soon for ds, now 2 1/2, but we're still trying (gradually) to move house so that will affect our options hopefully - seems silly to put too much energy into the schools thing now, but I worry about it once in a while.

Bedtime last night was awful!! Caitlin was fabulously wonderful, I fed her downstairs, then took them both upstairs to change. Ds hit meltdown stage early after no nap at nursery, and basically didn't calm down. I ended up reading C bedtime story, singing her a lullaby, putting her down and she went straight off, then having a good half hour of complete hysterics from ds including kicking, hitting and scratching Some sibling rivalry I think, exhaustion too, plus had had pancakes and chocolate sauce at nursery so much more sugar than usual, and maybe worse because of the change in routine? don't know.

I would normally have just put him in his cot to calm down but he had a dirty nappy and I knew he was exhausted and would have just gone to sleep, so would have ended up with a blistery bottom. I ended up literally fighting him to get his nappy changed . Thank heavens for bedtime routines as he did insist on his normal 3 stories which calmed him down and we went to bed friends, but argh!!

Great news on sleep Ali and great idea! I warn you, those bedtime songs get institutionalised quickly. Ds' is the Frog Chorus - not sure how that happened - and I must have sung it a million times ...

thats fab news ali re sleeping thru!

5 the school business sounds a real pita - I think its painful whatever you do as once they're in you worry about how they're doing. SA sounds like you had bedtime from hell but glad ds went down in end - as you say I expect the sugar fest didn't help any.

sponge just seen that thread - at least you made it up but it brings up fact that pg is a personal experience and not everyone comes to it with a "oh great lets pick out the clothes and names" attitude - if you've had stressful time of it frankly you should do whatever feels best (and I agree telling people you know is a good approach - will do that if I get lucky again as support is good).

bdq we had a six month check but basically all they did was weigh him and have a chat.

Ali good work on the sleep training! It sounds excellent and very gentle!

As for schools, we moved house partially because the local primary was unacceptable. And when I say unacceptable, I mean it. It was a shock to us as in canada the class system is not so stratified and it doesn't matter so much where you go. I know that the parents are important, however I do feel that you either need a core of involved parents (at least 25% of school) or some excellent teachers. This school had neither. Our new school has some very involved parents (not sure about teachers, they are probably great though) and some families that don't seem as education-orientated - it's a nice mix. However DS1 is just over two years away from starting, we didn't worry when he was a baby.

p.s. am so absolutely exhausted that I'm yelling at DS1 already. It's going to be a long day.

oh dear AH - any reason or is he just being a boisterous boy?

and fair point re schools - there is a basic de minimiis on standards

Ali well done on the sleep front. I spoke too soon as S was up at 3.30am and in our bed by 4. We have no willpower at that time of night. I'd really like to think about sleep training of some description but he has a never ending cold which could be the reason he's not sleeping well so it doesn't seem right to try when he's poorly.

In Edinburgh something like 1 in 5 kids go to private school. S will go to local catholic primary wherever we live when the time comes as he and I are both catholic. There are some very opinionated and heated threads on faith schools on MN. It's important for me that S goes to catholic school - I'd be very cross if he couldn't get into the local one because someone was essentially pretending to be catholic. Its a tricky area though.

Sorry you're still having nightmare with schools 5

Right it is ash wed so I need to get organized for mass!

Just a quickie to comment on schools. It is a huge thing around here. One of the local primary's was no. 2 in the Times top state primary list this year and the girls/boys senior schools are great and very over-subscribed. What people tend to do is buy a house they can't afford in the catchment area, stay until first kid gets in school and then move and get siblings in on sibling rule. This does mean though that it is increasingly difficult for new families to get in as siblings are such a large part of the intake (24 out of 38 this year, 28 out of 38 last year). This year the child who lived farthest from the school without sibling rule was 350m away. It is just cut-throat. They have now started asking parents to send in child benefit letters to prove their addresses, and this year 2 out 0f 14 had used grandparent/friend addresses rather than their own.

I can understand it though. It is an excellent school and the teachers are lovely and dedicated. They have a great site with outdoor all weather music playground and a fantastic sports programme. Who wouldn't think that their child deserved that?

I was brought up Catholic BDQ and went to an excellent RC high school, and there is a really good Catholic primary just around the corner from us; but I completely agree with you, whatever the academic situation, at the heart of a faith school is the ethos and I would feel so wrong sending the kids to Catholic school if they were not being brought up with the same set of beliefs from home. I do worry a lot though about the ethical framework we will be passing on, because for me growing up that was so bound up with faith, I am so appreciative of my upbringing on that front and in a lot of ways really wish I could still believe.

abdn sending you lots of understanding support - toddlers can be Extremely Hard Work!!! Good job they're gorgeous when they want to be ... We instituted the naughty step for hitting this morning.

Way to go Peter - send some vibes to Ethan please

SA - sounds like you had a rough bedtime, putting a toddler and baby to bed alone is a nightmare. Will your dp be there tonight?

Gosh it's frightening isn't it sybil. I couldn't imagine putting my family in financial hardship but if the local school is really rotten then what do you do.

I completely agree about ethos of catholic schools system, I think the ethics have stayed with me throughout life.

Aberdeen I hope your day is getting better!

Hey deb/sa shouldn't you be pretending that life with a baby and a toddler is like the brady bunch when sponge is around?

J hsa started walking around the lounge by pushing a footstool in front of him to hold onto. He is very pleased about this!

Sponge life with a toddler and baby is like the Brady bunch! In the sense that sometimes it feels as if there is enough mess/work for 7/8 kids anyway!

poppy, sa, and bdq it's not DS1 really, it's me being exhausted... think I'm going to take them out to feed the geese.

Don't worry, the thread didn't get too nasty! It just made me laugh that people can get so het up about someone's decision to do something differently. poppy, you're right, everyone's experience of pg is so different and like 5 I would prefer not to tell people after the event IYSWIM .

Ali, that's so sweet what your mum said! Bless her!

Atheists here too, and would actively not want my child to go to a faith school because of this. I know we are incredibly lucky cos the schools round here are, for the most part, all very good. AH, having said what I said about the importance of parents in education there are still some schools I wouldn't touch with a barge pole . The class system in this country runs very deep unfortunately and the "parents right to pay choose" led to sink schools being created all over the country. Very sad and blinkered policy .

BDQ, I am stunned at the levels of private education in Edinburgh ! Is that indicative of the standards of state schools or the wealth of the area?

SA, wow, that sounds like a v stressful bedtime . Although I have to agree with poppy, all those with toddlers and babies should be overwhelming me with stories of how easy it is and how they all slip seamlessly into each others' routines!

Has anyone seen this thread on the couple trying to raise money for IVF. It's long! I don't know what to make of it really but am quite shocked at some of the vitriol directed towards the couple. Sometimes I really don't like what MN can be .

hadn't seen that thread before but saw some of the row that ensued about the other thread (someone asking for advice re her daughter being abused) -as you say some very hard people out there.

breadmaker has arrived -very exciting...

sad news about david cameron's little boy

btw sponge saw a post re sleep from the woman who set up that weaning thread that incensed you - resisted posting was goign to help then saw it was you - and while we're at it I am bemused as to why you are so anti ff yet so very pro cc in a 5 month old ..maybe I should so we can both get a post banned

Thanks for your nice messages about the sleep. Obviously sending Ethan sleepy thoughts too...what happened last night Deb?

I have just heard the news about David Cameron's son. It is making me feel v sad.

Lol poppy, you have to be personally abusive to get a post banned! Haven't seen her post since but will be giving anything she writes a wide berth - judgmental cow .

Yes, news about DC's son is shocking and tragic. Devastating for him, his wife and other two children - will leave such a massive hole in their lives .