December 2008 - Its not wind they are smiling.

[JamInMyWellies]

Here we go ladies Rosmerta suggestion.

Hello,

Hope you are all having a good day today.

Lal and Trace are both lovely and I had a great time meeting them. Made me even more determined to get to London sometime, unfortunatly I won't be able to come to the one on the 29th. Their DDs are beautiful little girls.

Only a quick post as I need to go and make the tiramisu for tomorrow night.

Oh yum Tiramisu can I have some. I really should try and make one will have look on the Internet for a recipe. I think we might be having Thai tonight when we finally have both boys asleep.

Bisou-when we finally get home I will come and see you perform.

And I'll bring Lady T I'll show her how to survive the flight to Oz by dosing up on Bloody Marys, though we may need someone to look after the LCs

Just a quickie to recommend to Cat and WG and those with colicky fussy babes a DVD/website called The Happiest Baby on the Block Happiest Baby. My friend whose baby had colic lent me the DVD and I have to say tis really good. Although L doesn't have colic she does have that early eve fussiness that is common and this has helped amazingly. If anyone wants to borrow the DVD and is able to send it back to me fairly quickly I can post it.

Basically - the Dr who came up with a calming reflex for babies (he is all about the Fourth Trimester, like Veggie mentioned) which is basically 5 "s"s - swaddle, shush (but ideally white noise), lying on side/stomach, sucking, erm last one is jiggling.

Anyway, these are all things that we do naturally but he shows a very specific and easy to follow technique on the DVD that is easier to do during the night than the usual walking the floor techniques. IE you are sitting down with baby on side along your lap with his head resting in your hands - you jiggle your hands slightly with some white noise on (the hairdryer on a cool setting has worked wonders for us) with baby sucking a soother or your finger. I find it easier and more effective than Babywhisperers shush/pat (although principles are similar). Anyway, don't know if anyone else has seen it but thought it might be of some use for help settling the unsettled babies.

DH's birthday today and have managed (just) to cook him Gordon Ramsay's chateau briand. Really fancy some steak so must be low in iron!

That sounds really interesting Turnip esp as we have been bouncing ds2 loads as he seems to like it, the more aggressive the bounce or 'jiggle' as dh puts it the better. And he also responds to the shushing would be good idea to do the hairdryer as I get a bit sick of making the noise myself.

evening all! (I sound like a copper!)
What a lovely day! Lovely time with Lal and Kayz and their gorgeous LOs - so good to put a name to a real live person!
I just ate some yummy homemade (not by me) apple pie - think my apetite is returning finally - yay! We've been eating well here because my church do this rota thing when someone has a new baby - people sign up to make a meal and then bring it round to your house so you don't need to worry about cooking for a few weeks. It's been ace - this week people have turned up at the door with a lasagne, bolognese, casserole, sausages, meatballs... very helpful and yummy! Almost worth having another baby for...
well Phoebe was a very good girl last night, after settling by 8pm she woke for feeds at 11 and 3 and 6.30 which is our best ever night! And she's gone down again at the same time tonight so lets hope it bodes well for a repeat performance!
it's interesting what turnip says about the 5 s thing. We always sleep phoebe on her tummy now because she sleeps somuch better, so I wonder if it's because she has wind so makes her feel better that way. She's started her gaviscon and I think she's a bit less sicky when she's had it, but not sure if I'm imagining it really!
wg - when Phoebe is sick after a feed I don't put her back on because she tends to just bring that up as well. I try to leave her a bit first. It's hard because you've no idea how much they're getting, so you don't know what proportion of what went in is coming out, but I guess some must stay in!

Hi all,

Turnip that is really interesting and is sort of what we have been doing when L has lost the plot. My only concern would be the shushing quite so loudly in the babies ears I am sure I read somewhere about doing it behind the babies ears so to minimise the risk of burst eardrums.

Kayz, Lal & Trace hope you had a fab time today.

Arti and LAdyT you are a pair.

WG, Cat, verso and all other non sleeping mummies how are you all?

KMP sorry about your Grandfather.

Nolda honestly men breasteraunt is exaclty the sort of thing my DP would say.

Had a stressy couple of days, how is anyone manging to do anything when they also have a toddler, I went to visit my mum yesterday and it was a nightmare trying to get out the house we have been out and about loads but for some reason yesterday it all went a bit pete tong. Lachie just fed & fed & fed and DS1 decide that it was time to behave like he was possesed by a demon. And the dog well dont even let me get strated on the dog I was threatening him with Battersea.

Thank god its the weekend and we can sort of relax tom.

Hope you all have a fab wkend.

Oh just found out that dh will be away for the 26th jan for which. That day this year is both Chinese new year and Australia day. We will actually celebrate Chinese new year on the weekend but still sad that we won't be together for the one year that both these days coincide. KMP, Penny & Bisou you will have to 'vitually' celebrate australia day with me as this will be the first time I will have none of my fellow countrymen or women around me.

oh dear. we've been awake for some time now! SHe slept and fed and settled nicely till 3.15am then just won't go down. She's not crying - just seems to be uncomfy - straining and grunting and squirming all over. She drifts off in my arms, I put her down and she's sick. We're on our 3rd and final cot sheet - I keep moving her around in it to avoid the wet patches! Poor thing - she just can't get comfy. So I though I'd wait the full 20 mins (who suggested that earlier?) to see if we can manage it - although she'll be wanting more milk soon probably! She hasn't had a poo since the explosion a few days ago, so I think that's bothering her. Also her wee is really smelly so I'm wondering about a UTI, but she seems well in herself (apart from the sqirmy grunting!) so it's probably not that. It's odd - usually I'm desperate for her to go back down so I can get back to my sleepy pit, but tonight (this morning?!!) it just feels like really precious time for just me and her and I feel like I wouldn't mind if we stay up cuddling till morning. I'm sure I woon't be thinking that in another hour though when my eyes are drooping!

veggie that's a real shame your DH will be away. Hope you can enjoy it anyway and have your own Jan 26th at a later date!

turnip I'm loving the fact that the 5th 's' begins with 'j'!!!

morning!

trace that's a lovely thing for your church to do. A friend brought round some ready meals for us & it was a lifesaver!

veggie the film you watched, was it the Social Baby? It is a lovely film, I always liked the bit about the baby copying his dad just minutes after he'd been born

I've found the tumble dryer noise soothes ds2 when nothing else works!

I'm having a wobble as well atm. Ds1 seems to be getting upset by ds2, particularly when he cries or when he knows I have to feed him etc. I'm trying to give ds1 lots of hugs, reassurance, praise etc but it doesn't seem to be working. He ended up in our bed this morning but ds2 was awake, ds1 lay there crying a little & throwing his teddy. Is anyone else doing anything different that's working? I'm guessing its a phase that will pass but it breaks my heart to see ds1 sad, he's usually really happy

Morning,

I am exhausted and I honestly have to say I hate H so much now. I don't even know if we can stay together. DS2 went to sleep at half 12 then DS1 woke up at 3. Despite agreeing to get up on Friday and Saturday nights H wouldn't get out of bed, except to put DS1 in our bed. So of course I ended up with a tiny bit of bed. This is the same H who said I couldn't co-sleep with DS2.
DS1 finally fell asleep at 4. Then DS2 woke up at 20 to 5, H moaning and grumping went to get him a bottle after I had BF him as he was still hungry and wouldn't latch back on. He fed him and DS2 dropped of to sleep but woke up for some more which I had to give him. DS2 went to sleep at half 5.
DS1 woke up at 6, H put him in his cot hoping he would go back to sleep. He didn't and obviously H is so f**king tired I have had to get up.

Sorry for the rant but I am so bloody pissed off with him, its not like I am tired is it???

kayz - poor you - breathe breathe, and wait for the morning. can you speak to h when you are both a bit more awake and calm?

trace - poor you, too, with the nighttime shenanigans - but lovely to have some cuddle time. we, too, had some friends bring us lots of food round and it was a lifesaver (and still is - cottage pie still in the freezer).

turnip - thx for the link - about to look at it. my friend in the states told me about this book, but didn't know it was all online as well.

dd kicked off last evening and eventually got to sleep (after 6 hours of incessant crying/falling asleep/waking up/grizzling) at midnight. thereafter she was an angel, waking for feeds every 3.5 hours and going pretty much straight to sleep. i've got up with her at 7am to start the day (although it was still dark outside) to let dh sleep further.

i was looking at GF routines - how on earth do you keep your baby up if she really only wants to sleep?

good weekends to you all

wg - i think that too about GF. Phoebe won't stay awake that long after a feed, and her feeds are more frequent as well. I'm working on a modified gina-trace routine which has to fit with school runs...

7am - feed with lights on (or whatever time she wakes nearest to 7 - 6.30-7.30ish), nappy, smiles, stimulation...

8.30 - in to car seat for school run - usually sends her to sleep

9.15 - home fro school run - try to keep her asleep but usually ends up waking up

9.30 - feed and awake time

10.30 - falling asleep! if not before!

11.30 - feed and awake...

12.15ish - falling asleep

1.30 - feed and awake

3pm - school run

3.30 - home and feed and keep awake ifposs

16.15 sleep

17.30 -19.30 - feed-snooze-feed-frenzy!

19.45 - nappy and into cot

the above are all roughly ish times - it's not what I've imposed, just what pattern she seems to be falling into. Then the night can hold anything so we play it by ear - the last few she's fed at 11ish, 3ish and 6.30ish with varied degrees of settling in bewteen. I guess as she gets older her feeds will get bigger to fill her growing tum, so her awake times will grow and hopefully her sleeps as well. They're only so little and young.

she finally went to sleep about 5.30 and woke up at 7.30 this morning with a big poo!

kayz - don't go making any big decisions while you are sleep deprived and hormonal. really hope you get chance to address stuff when it's not the middle of the night. chin up lass! this is temporary and you have your two delicious boys to consider.

ros - dd1 hates it when dd2 cries. shr puts her hands over her ears and either looks really sad or screams to drown it out. it's horrible to see. but [glimmer of hope] this morning she did all the poppers on her babygro, got a clean nappy and nappy sack and really enjoyed helping me - it's the first time she's shown any real interest. I think they just take a while to adapt but they'll get there. i don't have any answers but just keep letting them know they're loved and keep things as normal as routine as possible for them so they have lots of familiarity to balance out the upside-down effect of the new imposter! good luck

My kids hate the baby crying too, Rosmerta I send hugs to your little man. Its so hard - we are going through it too.

Trace liking your Trace-Gina routine!! Yes, of course the 5th S does actually begin with S but my placenta brain can't retrieve the word - only that it's jiggling....duhhh. Also love what your church do for new mums. That's the community spirit that we all need at this time - will add it to my list of Stuff for New Mums when I Rule the World 9along with free day and night doulas for first 12 weeks )

WG I saw the Doctor (Harvey Kapp I think who wrote Happiest Baby) do the calming thing on Dr Phil and Richard and Judy a few years back - it is quite amazing. . The babies' eyes widen at the point the calming reflex kicks in. You do sush behind their ears but I do find the hairdryer much easier. Think will buy a white noise CD (there is some on the DVD itself) as playing a CD will be cheaper than running the hairdryer. I am also thinking about you with your Mum's anniversary. It is so so hard to think of her when motherhood is your main focus. But she is seeing you do an amazing job and I am sure so proud. I miss my Mum like crazy too and seem normally to keep the feelings below surface to a degree - but not at this postnatal stage. But better out than in as the old cliche goes.

Veggie sorry your Dh is away on Australia Day/New Year. Tis also my birthday (36 eeeek!) so will be toasting our lovely Aussie ladies and their babies on that day (and may have some dim sum as well for good measure).

Kayz I feel so bad for you. I know only too well the murderous feelings towards DH...I had them last weekend. Better now when I talked to him - but it will pass and your marriage won't break up. He just needs a kick up the arse (as most of em seem to do from time to time).

Hi Zoe, KMP, Jam and Daisy and everyone - must go feed and wanted to do proper personals. There aren't enough hours in the day (even though one day seems about 50 hours long sometimes...).

Off to watch Sleb BB from last night. I can also exc. reveal that ladyT despite seeming well-cultcha'd watches this dross too. I am shocked!

More coughing and vomit here overnight..... but it's getting better (cough/cold)
Veggie it's H b'day on Aust Day! He will be at work though.... We will have virtual celebrations and have a spot of cheerfulness - not sure where Penny is these days?
Does anyone know how long baby first (UK)passport takes? Post office told me could be 6 weeks for first one as thye have many checks to do....
Kayz hope it's only sleep deprived reaction...? Hope it is better after some rest..

Veggie pity you aren't local - you could come over, and we could have meat pies!

and a spot of Brown Brothers.....

Rosmerta sorry to hear your DS is unhappy. We too have an unhappy elder sibling. My HV compared it to your DH coming home with another woman and saying, "this is X, she has come to live with us and I want you to love her and make her feel at home". I haven't got any practical solution I'm afraid but I have managed to get DD (2 and a half) to talk a bit about how she is feeling over the last couple of days which seems to have improved things a little. What really gets to me is seeing DD walking away from me with her head down on her chest when I've had to tell her that I was busy with DS for the minute. I hope things improve for you and DS soon.

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kayzr my H is similarly t**tish

He never gets up to tend to DD if she wakes. The other night I was feeding DS (now in his own room as he disturbs DH when he has to get up for a full days work (WTF does he think I'm doing looking after 2 children??). Anyway, he got out of bed to ask me if DS had finished feeding as DD wouldn't want him she'd want me

When he got in last night about 6 I went to bed and told him I was too tired to talk to him and for him to wake me when DS wanted feeding. He has apologised but it isn't the first time and I doubt it will be the last.....you have my every sympathy

He is sorry and is going to try to be more helpful. I have forgiven him but if it happens again I will put his head on a spike and put it on top of the tower of London

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oh, cat, that is AWFUL - poor you. at least our screaming was the early evening and first half of the night. re: swaddling - i am too soft to do it - i tried a couple of times when dd was at her worst, but it upset me about as much as it upset her. but i know other people swear by it - maybe someone else can advise?

kayz - loving the head on the spike image - perfectly reasonable!