March 2005 babies - we are very quiet

[popsycal]

So how is it going for everyone? Most of us have had our babies so how was the first few weeks?

Kerry - sorry to hear that you have been feeling down - I did have a couple of days like this but they were in the first week. I also felt v. depressedand tearful on Friday night but I think that was due to tiredness and the fact that dh was going away on conference the next day. Luckily I don't have older sibling problems as dd1 is almost 7 so can understand things better. If it's any comfort, I think it is very common for older siblings to act like this - I know that I was (apparently) a complete nightmare when my younger brother was born and when dh's mum had twins when he was 3, he was so jealous that he used to pinch them and make them cry when she wasn't looking . I'm sure things will get easier for you - as you say, once ds1 is back at pre-school it will give him another focus and he may well be better when he's at home. Take care and feel free to off-load on us when you need to

Amazingly this is my first day of maternity leave on my own - during the two weeks before Iris arrived dp was off work sick, and then either he or my parents have been around! So Iris is nearly 5 weeks and I'm only now 'going solo'! I have an easy first day as dd1 is with the childminder, but tomorrow I get both toddler and baby to myself for the day!

We've been having some horrid evenings with Iris yelling her head off inconsolably from about 6pm. But the last two nights we've managed to rock her to sleep in her bouncy chair in the kitchen at about 7.30pm and then let her wake for a feed at 10pm. It's been heavenly to eat an evening meal without having to feed Iris with the other hand!

Great to read everyone's news.

Tamula - many many congratulations - definitely stick with us March girls, there are quite a few Feb babies here too.

KerryJ - sorry to hear you've been feeling low. I managed to avoid this - but I'm sure a great deal of that was because I had my parents or dp here full time. I have been so spoiled. And amazinly so far dd1 has only shown great pleasure at having a sister. So my only moments of real despair were over feeding. Mind you - I may be back in despair when I have to handle dd1 and baby tomorrow!

Congrats BoneyM on the barbie bag!

Sounds like lots of us have babies who comfort feed. Certainly in the evenings if Iris is awake she'll be on the boob every 30 minutes as it's the only thing that stops her crying. If she sleeps she can go 3-4 hours without a feed. I sort of have a strategy to pack in as many feeds as I can during the day with the hope that she'll go longer at night. I seem to remember dd1 was doing one 5 hour stretch at night by now, but Iris still can't really manage more than 3 hours. Can't really complain though.

Sorry this is so long - taking advantage of Iris actually lying on a blanket on the floor cooing to herself contentedly while I type. Unheard of behaviour!

Oh .. final piece of news ... I have been getting a ton of smiles today ... isn't it exciting when they start doing this. It melted my heart!

smiles here too pidge and only just 'going solo' too
and a 12oz weight gain in 10 days

makes up for the dreadful sleep pattern!!!

needless to say, i bought the baby whisperer book in sheer desperation and fron tomorrow i will sort this nocturnal boy out!!

oh and ds1 has decided to potty train himself as his mummy couldnt be bothered
no accidents at all and in pants all day even for his nap

Hi there everyone, cooking dinner (again) having just fed Faith and dropped her on her uncle! thought I'd update you on her weight gain this week - I was worried about my milk supply (again ) but needn't be - she has gained 9.5oz this week!! She is now a bouncing 8lb 1oz. Obviously I'm pleased and especially so as she has, for the last 2 nights, slept from mignight til 6am! - HV says this won't last and I am to expect to be woken through the night again soon . Ah well, I intend to enjoy it while I can...... still living on lucozade!

Pidge and popsycal, from next week I too shall be going solo. Faith will be 4wks and 5days old when DH goes back to work. I'm not looking forward to it because he works away for 4 days at a time, so I shall be on my own for the nights aswell as dealing with the school and nursery run with my older two DDs - it will no doubt be chaotic, but I'm sure I'll manage - I'm a Mummy, it's what we do!

Kerryj, I haven't had any trouble with the older siblings, but after having DD2 4yrs ago I suffered severe PND - I know it's not the same as the blues but I know what it's like to feel down when everyone expects you to be blissfully happy with new baby and all. So if you need to talk I'm here .

Back to the cooker........

Well, day from hell here today . dd2 was inconsolable for much of the morning - kept wanting to latch on but then that wasn't helping and she kept being sick and just kept crying all the time. In the end what worked was keeping my finger in her mouth for her to suck so the dummy is coming out now. Of course, all this attention dd2 was demanding meant dd1 then played up so I was getting it from both of them. Went out this afternoon with dd1 in the buggy and dd2 in the wilkinet just to get some peace. I'm finding comfort sucking is really becoming a problem now she's awake after feeding - when she gets tired she needs to suck but doesn't want the milk.

Well done to your ds1 popsy and congrats on the weight gain . Be interested to see how the book goes. And hope your solo week goes well for you and pidge. Last week i found easier than when dh was here tbh.

Aaargh! If I don't manage to logon everyday there is too many things happened to keep up with!!!

I also like my days without dh, but am often very relieved when he comes home in the evening and is here at weekends. I find the days when Niklas is unsettled and cries a lot really difficult to deal with and am relieved to pass him over to dh when he gets home!
Kerryj - those are the days that really get me down, I'm not sure if its baby blues but I admit that I have questioned myself as a mother and felt quite freaked out by the responsibility. Also if I don't get enough sleep then I find it really tough. But the good feeling by far outweighs the bad. I hope you are not feeling too bad. I do only have Niklas to deal with, no siblings.

I am really envious of those of you that have smiley babies, Niklas still doesn't really seem to smile at me! He laughs and smiles when he is playing but not really at me. He seems far too serious, I wonder whether its because I was so grumpy when I was pregnant and when my mother was here...

He is doing well though, we had a great night last night (which sounds like one of Bonym's bad nights!), he went to sleep at 9, woke up at 1.30, then 5.30, then 8! I think that's the best night we have had!
He has started to get really excited about his musical mobile that hangs over his bed. He noticed it before but we raised his matress at the weekend and he is closer to it now and sees it better, it is really wonderful to see how excited he gets. When he goes to bed now he spits out the dummy, gets excited about the mobile, then falls asleep! Its fantastic!

I saw a baby today that is 3 weeks old. Niklas already looked huge against the new baby , I can't believe how quickly he is growing and that the little tiny baby phase has already passed by ! It reminded me that although this is a really demanding time i should be enjoying every moment of it as Niklas is growing and changing so quickly.

HAving a bit of a break through today - using the baby whisperers 'schedule' and EASY method....not a strict routine but just had a order of eat, activity, sleep and 'you time'( hmmm)

anyway my none day time sleep has had a 2 hur nap in his cot and is having another right now!
so is his bigbrother!

she also has the four 's' s for grtting to sleep.........

i have cleaned the kitchen and hoovered and now having two hands on the pc!

also have persevered with lightly swaddling

popsycal - great news with the baby whisperer - I have got the book and have read it but have been too dazed to really put any of it into action.. I did have a half-hearted attempt today when I knew that dd was tired (spotted the yawn!) and so tried to put her in her moses basket for a sleep. I patted her, reassured her etc. but she just kept screaming so I ended up picking her up and cuddling her until she dozed off. You have inspired me to try again though, although I may leave it another couple of weeks - Harry is two weeks older than Grace so maybe he is starting to settle into more of a rhythm naturally?

Feeling quite please with myself as I managed to make it to school on time to pick dd1 up today (1st day back after Easter hols). I decided that taking the car was too much hassle so we walked and my ultimate plan is to do this morning and afternoon every day. Dh took her this morning though as I haven't reallyl got mornings sussed yet! .

Have dumped Iris on the floor to type this so better be FAST!

Had quite a few wakings last night - 10.30pm, 1.20am, 4.20 am and then cruelly 6.30am when I get up at 7.20am with dd1 and dp! But I guess that's par for the course for your average 5 week old. Annoyingly I put her down at 10pm and she spent half an hour dozing, going in and out of light sleep, snorting loudly and keeping me awake before finally deciding to yell loudly forcing me out of bed. That's what is causing me most sleep deprivation - lying awake listening to her making a noise, wondering if I'll have to get up and attend to her. And there's no way of predicting - sometimes she'll go off to sleep, other times she won't.

Popsycal - what is the baby whisperer's secret for getting the baby to sleep? I haven't even attempted getting Iris to nap in the moses basket during the day. I just feed her to sleep in my arms, or put her in the sling or buggy.

Anyway, we survived our first day as "three girls going solo without dad!". In fact it couldn't have gone better, just because Iris was a dream and managed to sleep at all the crucial points when I needed her to - e.g. when making lunch, when putting dd1 down for a nap etc. And they both slept for 2 hours at the same time in the afternoon allowing me a nap too, plus some 'me time' with a cup of tea and several chocolate biscuits!

Leogaela - well since I wrote about the smiles Iris has gone back to grumpy mode! I do remember it takes a while before they become really regular. For weeks my dd1 used to smile first thing in the morning when I fetched her from the cot and then that was your lot for the day - like she'd worn out her smile supply with that one effort!

BoneyM - very impressed you managed the school run. I haven't even attempted to make it up to the childminder yet.

OK ... Iris now yelling at being left on the floor! Better go.

Hi all. Aren't our babies cute? Sylvia's usual mode is grumpy too! Her brother called her "the grumpy boss" whilst in hospital. She still frowns a lot. I had a big, direct smile on Monday night and she's smiled a few other times too but not directly at me. I remember Dominic being the same but he's grown into such an affectionate and happy child. A real clown too at times.

Sylvia is grizzly. i'll be back.

I am glad that some of you also have grumpy babies. I got really upset about it yesterday and wondered if there was something wrong with him. he was all happy and laughing this morning when dh dressed him though!
We went to the doctor today, Niklas had his first immunisations today It upset me more than him! He has slept the almost the whole day today, I'm not sure if he is just tired (he took a lot of time to go back to sleep last night each time he woke up) or if it is because of the injections.

I'm also interested in what the baby whisperer book has to say... spill the secret Popsycal!

Pidge - Would you put Iris in her own room? We don't have room for a cot or anything in our room for Niklas so he is in his own room we have the doors open, we can hear when he cries but don't get so disturbed by his grunting, snorting and snoring (not to mention the farting!).

We are looking for a house at the moment (not sure if I mentioned this) saw something FANTASTIC today! Its quite a lot more expensive than we feel comfortable with but....

Sylvia sleeps in our bed. If I try and put her in her cot (which is in our bedroom) she makes so much noise that I too just listen to her and can't sleep. She moans, grunts, whimpers, stretches noisily. I also thought that if she's in our bed she'll be encouraged more to BF during the night. Feeding is still a bit of a problem, she feeds so little, 5-7 minutes, very rarely goes on for 15-20. I know time shouldn't matter, but you can't help worrying.

Yesterday I went to a La Leche League meeting. As usual, Sylvia mostly slept. We went to a couple of BF groups as well over the past couple of weeks, with the idea of getting individual advice on whether her latch is good. She slept through it all. GRRR, baby, wake up. I take her where I can get first hand, first class help, but how can you do it when she won't open her mouth because she's sleeping?

Today we went into central London to pick up some baby clothes my sister sent me through a work colleague. She lives in Cyprus and has two young daughters. I went last week too and had such a hard time with the pram that I decided to take Sylvia in a baby carrier instead today.

Re: baby blues. I was quite weepy about 3 weeks back. Once it happened at an ENT appointment for my son, for a minor reason I burst into tears and then cried all morning. Much to my embarrassment, we've been going to that hospital for the past 4 years and I'm usually cool and collected, but there I was sobbing and sobbing. Then the week before last I had to take Sylvia and go into central London. I had the big pram and I couldn't get any help going down the stairs at Gloucester Rd tube station. The station manager was very rude to me when I asked for help, so I just stood there crying at the top of the stairs because I had no way of going down (and with a caesarean section only 3 weeks previously I didn't dare take the pram, bags & baby down myself). Apart from that and a couple of other occasions, I think I passed the baby blues. It had come so late that I was worried it's developing into PND. I'm OK now.

Sylvia was awake today for a good stretch of time and she just sat and looked around with big, round, bewildered eyes. She's very serious. But sweet. She sleeps well during the night, awake for just 10-5 minutes every couple of hours or so (more often in the early morning), suckles a bit, then sleeps again. I like it like this, although sometimes I can't fall asleep again.

Had a great day today - dh took the morning off to make up for being away at the weekend so we ventured into town. I was desperate for clothes as only one pair of pre-pregnancy jeans fit me and all my tops now seem too short because my boobs have grown so much. Was a bit mortified though as I bought a pair of trousers in Gap which were 2 sizes bigger than normal . Can anyone explain how it is that I'm 7lb lighter than before I got pregnant but seem to have grown bigger??!!!
Anyway - Grace fell asleep in the pram so we hot-footed it to our favourite restaurant and had a wonderful lunch which she slept all the way through! Got home about 2.30pm, fed her and whizzed down to the school just in time to pick dd1 up. Grace fell asleep again on the way to school and is still asleep now. This means that apart from waking for a feed, she has been asleep for over 5 hours - I'm a bit worried this means she won't sleep well tonight!

Christina - Grace is getting quicker with her feeds and is often only 5-10 minutes when she used to be over half an hour previously. I have been worried she's not getting sufficient but maybe it's just that she's becoming more efficient? is Sylvia gaining weight? If so, you probably shouldn't worry.

I am jealous of all your smiley babies - can't wait to get the first smile from Grace. She smiles loads when she's sleeping but I guess this doesn't count . I know it's too early yet to get proper smiles - looking back on dd's baby book she was 5 weeks before we had the first smile so I've got a couple of weeks to go yet!

baby wjhisperer

Cristina - a friend of mine also has a baby that fed for only 5 or 10 minutes at a time (she's 10 months now) she was and still is a very healthy baby and looks very, very well fed! It may be that you are worrying for nothing.
I can't imagine stuggling through London with a pushchair!!! I have thought about it as I am wondering when we come back this year if we will visit friends in London or not. The thought of taking Niklas and a pushchair on the tube puts me off big time! I am not surprised you cried!
I hope the c/s wound is healing up well. Doctor is very happy wiht mine.

I cried at the doctors today. I was on the verge of it the whole time, but when Niklas had to have his injection it all came out! I was glad that dh was with me, he gave me a big cuddle and I felt much better. I think if you are feeling low its really important to have your dh/dp or someone else to give you that big hug and make you feel better.

Bonym - wow! I am impressed that you weigh less than before you were pregnant! How have you managed that??? I still weigh more and its not going down! I can get most of my clothes on again, but shirts don't go round my hugely eypanded chest and jeans are a problem, I brought a couple of really nice pairs before I got pregnant and keep trying htem on hopefully, but...! I think that your hips expand outwards when you get pregnant, the bones, not fat.

Baby whisperer looks interesting. I already do the shhh thing, but its not always easy to distract Niklas from the crying. Niklas has never liked to be swaddled, right from the beginning he would struggle if his arms are tucked into anything, even in the pushchair he has his arms and hands poking out.

Last few nights Niklas has had screaming fits at bedtime, the only thing that calms him down is to give him an extra feed! Well he's sleeping peacefully now and I am really tired, so off to bed to get an hour or two before I get woken again...!

Well - it took 45 minutes, but I finally got Iris to sleep this morning in her moses basket. I rocked her till her eyes were drooping, then put her down still awake and about 4 times she was yelling after a few minutes and I would go back in and repeat. Then finally she was yelling and I didn't even pick her up I just put my hand on her head and she was so worn out she dropped off. Pretty ghastly having her yell like that - but she's been screaming when tired even when we cuddle her. Last night she screamed pretty much constantly from 5pm to 9pm - nothing we did could console her. I kept feeding her to shut her up and I think in the end that made her worse and she got really uncomfortable. Really she was just tired and needed to sleep. Isn't it a pain that babies seem to find it so hard to drop off to sleep even when they're exhausted?

Have to confess I've gone and bought the Baby Whisperer - I'm not really a baby book girl, but frankly we've got to teach Iris to get to sleep when she's tired somehow. So I'm hoping it may have some ideas. Partly I just need the confidence to persist in trying to get her to sleep rather than immediately feeding her. Because most evenings she's ending up feeding every hour, and getting windy and uncomfortable and totally hysterical. Not fun for anyone. And tonight I'm on my own with her, as dp has an orchestral rehearsal. Gulp!

Cristina - Iris also has very short feeds. To start with I just had to take her off after 5-10 minutes as I was in agony. But even now she glugs like fury for the first few minutes and then either pops off herself, or falls sound asleep. Provided they're healthy and growing it doesn't matter. Mind you - I'm a fine one to talk, still fretting about length of feeds!

BoneyM - am also impressed that you weigh less than when pregnant. I weigh a tonne more! And dp kindly pointed out that I'm about 2 inches away from fitting in my non-maternity clothes. Didn't have this problem with dd1 - I was back in my jeans by 4 weeks. Could be connected with all the chocolate I've been scoffing this time though .

Leogaela - with my dd1 I was on an emotional rollercoaster for weeks - very very weepy. One bachelor friend of dp's came round at about the 10 day mark, and all I did was emerge looking haggard in my dressing gown, cry all over dp and then go back to bed! I'm sure it's put him off having children for life. This time is better - I feel much calmer, though still get very het up when Iris is doing her inconsolable crying thing.

Must scoot - Iris is stirring!

serena has a cold so cant feed effectively. am going to the gp's in a hour to get some drops for her nose.

Caleb only feeds for 10mins at a time, but he feeds every two hours at least and he's gaining on average 8oz a week. He's being smiling for the past 2 weeks and I love it! He's also cooing and we have little conversations, he frowns a lot and has a very wobbly bottom lip.

I've found that when he's tired I can get him to sleep in my arms then put him in his pram and he will sleep for a couple of hours which gives me a break. Hate the wheels on our pram, they swivel all over the place i'm constantly running into things or over peoples feet!

Hi guys,

How are you all doing?

We're not too bad at all, Ava is asleep on my lap having dozed off at the breast, she's 9 days old today and last night was a long night! She was very tired but would not go to sleep, just cried inconsolably so when all else fails i feed her and she fed for hours!!! More comfort i'm certain, eventually falling asleep!
This morning was fab though as she smiled over and over again at me, I know its not proper smiles but she done them on cue, copying me, it just warmed my heart sleepless night? what sleepless night?!! hee hee!!

Ava would spend all day every day on my breast if i let her or if she didnt fall asleep

with regard to weight etc.. sadly i am taking the post baby body size, shape and weight quite badly, there is no way in hell i weigh less but quite a bit more is more like it!!!!

I too am finding myself quite tearful about near anything, i havent left the house for days, my bf is at work all day and sometimes comes home with tips and advice for me with regard to baby, i could just throttle him sometimes, i know he wouldnt last from morning til lunch with ava right now, but he has tips for me to try!

do you guys know if antibiotics can cause a reaction in baby? I've recently begun taking some and ava's face seems a little blotchy after each feed, it goes away straight after the feed but comes back with next, not sure if its what i've eaten or if its the antibiotics?!

Misdee - i hope serena feels better soon, poor love.

Pidge - well done getting baby down in moses basket!!!!

Hi to everyone else and i will try to get on more often and stay in the loop!!

Tam and Ava X x

well harry was great last night (feeling guilty about the glass of wine i had. he slept frpm 9pm til 2am then fed then slept til 5:30 then woke at 7

pity his big brother woke as harry was finishinh his 2am feed and ent to sleep minutes before 5am then woke up for the day at 6:30. argh

pidge - the way i used baby whisperer is more of a 2.5 hour cycle rather than 3 hour one she suggests.....
oh and harry slept in his cot ALL NIGHT

is their a book called the toddler whisperer lol

Popsycal - sounds like wine is the secret to a peaceful baby - maybe I should stop feeling guilty when I have the odd glass and have one momre often! I did read on another thread here that you apparently have to be 3x the legal driving limit before the alcohol will affect your baby so I guess one glass every now and then isn't going to hurt!

You can all stop being impressed at my weight loss - I'd rather weigh what I did before and be able to fit into my size 12s - I am wearing the size 16 trousers that I bought in Gap yesterday and even they are on the tight side . YOu could be right about the hips Leogaela.

Think Grace must be having a growth spurt as she seems to want to feed all the time at the moment and woke 3 times in the night for a feed (we've never had more than 2 wakings up 'til now). I thought I would try expressing this morning after her first feed but only managed 1oz before she decided she was feeling left out and that one breast hadn't been enough - she also wanted the one I was expressing from . Oh well - maybe I'll try again later. Can hear stirrings so must go...

hi all
new to all this!,i am so glad to feel normal again.i thought i was the only one that had a grumpy little daughter,she's now 6 weeks old and for the last 4 i've lost it on many occasion.i've think i have turned a corner now.most the babies on this thread seam the same!.she is my second dd cause believe me i would never had done it again.dd has trouble getting her self off to sleep in the daytime she fights it all the way,any ideas and advice??

beanieiu - its great that you have joined us. i find it really encouraging and helps with my confidence to know that other people are having the same struggles as me! Hope it helps you as well.

Niklas also doesn't like to sleep during the day except - he will fall asleep on me when he is tired, but if I put him down he will start crying, he will sleep in the car, the pram or the sling. If I am out all day then it often means he sleeps most of the day!

We also have the bedtime fuss! We didn't used to have it but it has got worse! I tried the feeding every 10 minutes as well, but it just made him worse! now I usually give him and extra short feed and then he goes down - it takes about 2 hours for him to go to sleep so I figure if I give him the extra feed he will sleep longer. he still doesn't sleep in long enough stretches at night.

Last night I had 2 glasses of wine! It didn't seem to help him sleep! Have to experiment with this one!

Tamula - no idea about the antibiotics. Probably best to check with the doctor. Hope you are doing OK. It really really helps to get out if you can. I know its an effort sometimes and it was tough at the beginning but meeting up with friends for lunch and shopping (couldn't do much else) really helps to keep me sane. Also visiting people is good, its nice to be able to hand the baby over to someone else to coo over for half an hour or so.
I also make dh look after Niklas for a whole day at the weekend if I can (except for feeding), he plays with him, changes him, carries him around when he cries - the first time he did it on his own he didn't manage to get dressed the whole day - it helped him realise how demanding looking after a baby is.

Pidge & popsycal - keep passing on your best tips from the baby whisperer. i'm not a book person either but someone gave me Gina Ford. At first it was very tempting but gave up very quickly on the routines. Some of the other things are quite good to try out.

Misdee - hope Serena gets over he cold quickly. must be quite worrying if she has a blocked up nose.

We made had quite a breakthrouhg on the smiles and lauging the last couple of days! Yesterday we visited the ILs. Niklas's gran and sister both had him smiling and laughing! I was very put out that as soon as I came along he put on his grumpy pouty face again! But today he lauged and smiled AT ME :: several times!

Last couple of days he has also not been demanding to feed so often so I've been feeding him about every four hours (except at night of course!!!!)

Sorry - got carried away! Its a long one again!!!

Can't stop wondering how Norash is doing!