ok, so I owe all of you lot an update.
After I talked to Sam on friday, I was really concerned for him. I have been saying for a logng time that he is having somekind of crisis / breakdown, and that he is seriously depressed.
I am confident that his 'seeing' this woman was actually him talking to her about all the shit that has been going on. He has said that nothing except talking happenened, and I do believe him. If nothing else, he is honest. The fact that he was clicking with someone else, I think, drew attention to our relationship, and he wanted out. tbh, I dont think (or actually, I KNOW) that he wasnt in his right mind, but more about that later.
He came and saw S early on Saturday, as he had said, left his best mate with me and disappeared off. Just as I was about to leave for NOrwich, I called him to check on him. I am really glad I did. You dont want to know the ins and outs, but the end result is that he has been diagnosed with severe depression, is now on valium and cant be left alone.
He has finally admitted to himself that he needs help with his mental well being. He has made a massive mountain out of what was essentially a tiny molehill. He is going to the doctors to sort out treatment, and I really recommended to him that he is counselled. He had a REALLY violent and abusive childhood, and I think that becoming a dad has set off loads of things in his head.
I know you are all going to shoot me down, but I did know that something was wrong with him, he was acting so out of character. I know what it's like to be severely depressed, and I know how it pushes you into a hole and how self destructive it can be. Our relationshp was in trouble, and I think he (and the depression) believed nothing was worth while. I dont think he could see a way forward, except out.
The end result is that I am back home. I intend to support him through this, and then we will reevaluate our relationship. I know we have a lot to work on. And I know he has been a total git, but at the end of the day, he is my git.
Just thought I should let you all know, seeing as I went totally ape shit, and guessed the worst. You lot have been great.
And thanks urban, for the msning. Sorry I was a bit lary!!