The one where the May 07 babies start turning ONE!!!

[AprilMeadow]

Hi Ladies, it said we needed a new thread

MKG, I'm due to ovulate tomorrow. I'm the opposite, I avoid dh like the plague when I'm fertile, thick pyjamas, unsexy underwear and specs on.

Poor ol' M's going to be an only child.

I don't think I'd ever have to 'make dh do it'. He could have flu, several limbs hanging off and bubonic plague and he'd be willing.

Why oh why do I share this information?

hahaha

my DP sneezes and I get preggers so anyone desperate to become up duffed head my way am sure my sofa has magical fertility vibes and I will get DP to wink at you bound to get you pregnant

SOH thats what my dp is like - however im with you - fleecy pj's, dont brush hair, disappear to bathroom for hours on end to read book wit the door locked with a "headache" lol - no more babies here please - must say he was actually pleased i got my period this time lol - bugger i knew there was something else i meant to talk to the quack about!

MKG what about if you get him drunk?? he will forget or not care about your motives until its too late

FertileMyrtle herself. Do get thee to Norfolk lovely, but leave winking man at home. I have a baby already.

Oh and for those of you planning on eating my dd, she weighs more than 29lb and wouldn't fit in your oven.

My dh too Jam. He didnt want to when he had the pox, that was a first. Oh and too much Indian does it too, he lies there like a beached whale groaning but forcing the last mouthful in

I have just had my blood taken, how long before i get results? I forgot to ask, was too busy fielding Hugo questions and stopping the baby eating the cotton wool ball.

No pyjammas allowed in this house...

No pyjamas? This weekend could be interesting. Do you confiscate them at the door? What about mad dashes to the loo at midnight?

PinkJenny, er... are you as scared as I am?

Blood results here always take 24-48hrs but they're very good. I've heard of other places taking a lot longer. That was helpful wasn't it?

He may let you both wear jammas, no guarantee though

The kids are allowed. I just cover the visible bits from the neighbours and leg it past windows if i need to roam in the nude Poor neighbour!

Yes, very useful blood result info. Will leave it a day or so then and phone.

Afternoon everyone

LG&T thats one thing I dont miss, having blood taken, i hate needles. Hope you get the results soon

Poor Alana had her first proper bump yesterday, she was playing with Ethan and smacked her head against the edge of MIL's door She now has a lovely raised line on her head but luckily its hidden by what little hair she has. I

I am currently trying to sort out shopping lists for Thursday (Alana) and Friday (Jordan), I think im going to be skint by the weekend lol. Because Jordan is having a party in June Im only going to do him a small birthday tea with only a couple of friends round (mainly our neighbours kids) but Alana is having a proper party, it was supposed to be a small thing but has escalated into a proper party, what on earth have i let myself in for.

I have a dilema. Through Facebook I have got in touch with Jordan's step Aunties (if there is such a thing lol) from his dads side. Ive been sending messages to one of them because we were friends long before she became 'family' and she explained why they all lost touch with Jordan, basically they thought he would get confused having three families (mine, dh's and his dad's)This annoyed me a bit and i wrote back that I would have been happy to have sent regular updates to them if they had truly cared about him but they didnt even have the decency to discuss their decision with me let alone come up with an arrangement to suit everyone. SHe mentioned this to them over the weekend and they have now asked if I can send some pics and keep them updated on how he is (they havent asked to see him). To me this seems a little too late to start showing concern but at the same time I feel that they are his family and it would be nice for them to know more about him. What would you all do???

Ooooo Pebble that's a difficult one but you kind of opened the door so you have to step through it, in my opinion. It might be difficult to swallow your hurt, but for J's sake, surely he would be hurt to find out when he was grown up that they wanted to know about him and you wouldn't give them any info. It may be late in the day but at least they are showing an interest. Does J ask about the rest of his family at all? A tough decision to make..

No pj's in this house either

MKG, simple, just pounce on him. Take him by surprise.

Just think if you wanted to eat Mathilda and J together you probably wouldn't need to eat again for about 14 years.

Just to make some of you feel better about my life here, I'd like to say its raining and I have no power.

Pebble, why not ask Jordan how he feels about it? How long have they been absent from his life.

With dd's dad, after all this with her party, he still hasn't rung me to confirm he's coming. There's only 5 days to go.......not looking hopeful eh lol! I've had enough of it all, I'm making no more effort after this. As far as I'm concerned C doesn't have a dad, but she does have a mum, gran, grandad, 2 aunties and a whole bunch of other family who love her to bits.

I think it all boils down to the child and their needs. If J's settled and happy, I personally don't see a reason to upset that. But he may want to have a more active relationship with them. I'd ask him.

Cam, my friend said something similar to you about how hurt J would be if he thought I hadnt tried. The annoying thing is for the first 4yrs after J's dad left I bent over backwards to keep in touch with them, I would write, phone, invite them down, take J to see them etc then all of a sudden they no longer answered my letters or returned my call, no explanation whatever and now this.

LATL, I thought about asking Jordan but at the moment they haven't mentioned anything about wanting to actually see him they just want to recieve updates so Im wary of mentioning it to him in case he gets hurt again. When they ceased all contact he was very upset, first his dad vanished then his grandparents, Uncles and Aunties didnt want to know. He was 5 when he last saw them, we had made a special trip to see them, everything was fine then but within a month they had cut ties. He still remembers them and sometimes asks where they went but doesnt seem too bothered anymore.

I think I may send them a letter and perhaps a couple of photos in the next week just so that they cant try to say that I stood in their way of contacting him. After that we will just have to wait and see. The one thing I am wary of is if his dad finds out and decides he wants to see Jordan. After he chose his new girlfriend over his own son (she would moan because he had to visit Jordan every other Saturday ) I promised myself I wouldnt let him hurt Jordan like that again. Dh has been J's dad for almost 8yrs, the last time he saw his real dad was in 1999, having him suddenly make contact could cause all sorts of problems. I dont think E would want to get in touch, seems hes been living the high life since he left and I doubt if a long lost son would fit in very well but stranger things have happened. I think that is the one major thing causing me the headache. Dh has always said he would understand if J ever wanted to find his real dad, everyone has a right to know their parents, but I know it would hurt him a lot. It would be worse if E only got in touch because I had renewed contact with his parents. Would it be so wrong to ask them to keep our contact details a secret? Would you, if your son suddenly had a burst of guilt and decided to play dad?

Hmm. I think children will generally appreciate, as they get older, if their parents have made and effort to keep contact going with any "branch" of the family - even if it's just keeping up with where people live. It means when the children become adults, they can make their own minds up about what kind of contact they have. I just have in mind cousins of DH who struggled to retain contact with DH's (their father's) side of the family after their parents split. They always felt like outsiders, through no fault of their own and are really pleased to be back in contact with everyone now.

I know all situations are different, but if it's feasible, I think keeping the door open is good. It does sometimes mean putting your own feelings aside though. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

S is driving me farking mad. She's 13 on Wednesday and boy, she is making her mark as your typical self-absorbed teen.

Last Monday, after we'd had the break in, (and my wallet was stolen in the process) she sent me three, yes three texts telling me what items I needed to buy her asap for her dance recital thingy. Not a word about "is everything ok" or "what was stolen", just "I need new black tracksuit bottoms." "Oh yeah, and a pink top". "And a black cap, but it has to be one of the ones with a really straight peak". She knew about it at the weekend too and didn't open her mouth because she was annoyed with me. Reason she was annoyed? I said she could stay over at a "new" friend's house on Friday night. She'd stayed there once before but I hadn't kept the phone number or address - only had idea of where the kid lived from having picked S up the last time. Told her she could stay provided she sent me full address, home number and surname of said girl before end of school. Sent her a text at 4.30 to remind her about telling me where she was going. Tried phoning about 6.30 and she said she forgot and would do it "straight away". Heard nothing. Tried phoning around 7.30 about 5 times and eventually the friend answered and said S was "round at the shop". Was fuming so got in the car to go and get her whereupon S texted details. Phoned back and said it was too late, I was already on my way and she was to be ready to go when I got there. She was of course, mortified to have to leave and tried to plead at the car door and I shouted at her in front of "new" mates. I mean, FFS. She's 12 and at 8.30pm on a Friday night I didn't know exactly where she intended to stay the night! Told her I'd trusted her to go somewhere without checking with the parents first and all she had to do was tell me exactly where she was going so she'd broken my trust and put me in a position of being a very bad parent.

Anyway, said girl is, I think, a bit "cooler" than S's usual mates and it's all about her at the moment.

S is having a party on Saturday night for her birthday. I have been trying to plan it really nicely for her for ages. Paying for a beautician to do their hair and make up and nails, buying sample products to put in party bags and asking S what she'd like for the food and decor and everything. She only got around to giving out the invitations on Friday just gone so I have been trying to drag out of her how many are coming to tell the beautician. Then S wanted above "cool" girl to stay over plus one other "new" friend. I said no, that a £300 party was enough for one night and they could come another night. Then one of her "old" "nice" friend's couldn't come unless she could stay because her mum can't leave her other children to pick her up from the party. I said I'd drop her home, but not to tell the other kids so I don't get involved in ferrying kids all over North London.

Then today, my mum was coming for the day. She's over staying with her Dad and came to me just for the day and for dinner. S was to come home straight from school to spend time with Grandma and texted after school to ask could she go to new/ cool friend's house until 5pm because new/ cool friend just broke up with her boyfriend and was REALLY upset. I said "You see her every day and you see Grandma about 4 times a year. I'll leave it up to you to make the right decision. She went to friend's... Then tonight she announces that so-and-so and so-and-so are staying over at new/ cool friend's after S's party and S is invited too and can she go. Oh yeah, sure, you go off for a sleepover while I drop your "best" friend home and then come back and clear up after your party. Sounds like a great deal. Arrrgghhh! I just told her we'd talk about it tomorrow. Didn't want to have a row in front of my mam. This is the start of payback for the sh't I gave my mother. I'm sure of it. She's turned into the most self-absorbed person I know. I know ALL teenagers get like this, but Jeeessusss.

Is that the longest most boring post I have ever written? Am I banished to the teenager section now?

Oh TYG the pre-teen struggles I don't envy you.

Pebble--Be the bigger person and send an update. I think you've handled the whole thing with a lot of class.

Well there will be now pouncing for me this month. I found out today that my sil miscarried last night. She's not handling it well at all. I just can't think about getting pregnant now when she lost hers. I think it would be too painful for her, and I can't knowingly do that to someone. I'll wait it out a bit.

TYG I am not looking forward to this... She is indeed being a selfish little horror, especially when you must be so tired and huuuuuge I was an angel teenager so i expect no payback

Pebble hand over the info, it is hard i have to deal with 2 numpty exp. I just hope that when the children grow up they realise what i did for them as i know they sure as hell dont right now. I get lots of niggly comments but just have to sweetly and move on. I have always had to sit firmly on my deepest darkest thoughts. hey ho.

Scoot where are you?

Pink where are you? You may have to train it to Fareham from Southampton on Friday. The traffic on Fridays is appaling and it may mean i cant leave in time form the appeal to get you I am sorry. It is a very short train ride and you will be ok. I will meet you at Fareham.

This week is getting out of hand, i have work today and still feel terrible. Two have eye apps Thursday morning and dd has the Hospital Thursday afternoon, i may have to take them all as it is at 3pm! Friday i have work then need to go straight to the appeal (filling me with dread) Too much!

MKG I'm sorry.

Pebble, I agree with what others have said. Keeping the door open for Jordan in the future is very important. Knowing where you are from and knowing how to make contact with that past will matter to ds1 even if he chooses never to make that contact. You can only be responsible for your actions and endeavours. You only have to do the bare minimum and if they fail Jordan again then it was entirely their decision to do so. The behaviour of ex numpties never ceases to amaze me.

TYG, poor you and poor S (although it doesn't feel like it!). Peer pressure seems to have descended with a vengeance. I hope Ms Cool doesn't let her down. I plan to keep telling myself that research has proven that teenagers don't have normal empathetic capabilities because of massive hormonal changes. Their self absorption is physiological and somewhere far, far below the grunting and moaning, the same sweet girl is there waiting to emerge from her acne-ridden chrysallis. Probably won't work and I'll spend years shouting "you ungrateful little Tank, you're grounded". She sounds particularly attached to her mobile phone but isn't using it responsibly ie letting you know vital information. I might be tempted to confiscate it if her behaviour continues.

I wish I was coming to the appeal LG&T. I can't do much but I can win any argument according to dh. Is there anything I can do from this end? Dreading driving down there. The carseat no longer has magical tranquilizing properties. In fact, M loathes it. Did you watch that prog about HMS Illustrious last night? I have many questions for N. Is there some code that means he will refuse to tell me the truth about life on board a naval warship? Particularly loved innocent little female twittering 'we like to do little things to make the officers feel special'. Yeah, bet you do.

Thanks SOH. I am currently reading "How to talk so teens will listen and listen so teens will talk", having heard COD recommend it the version for younger children. I'm hoping it helps me not to go off the deep end every time she annoys me. It's only 17 years since I was her age and I do remember so well what it's like to be tragically uncool at school and wish you could be different. Sadly, I also did all sorts of things to try to impress new friends. Giving them stuff of mine they liked and so on. I can see her heading the same way. Not sure what to do about that.

I resolved not to interfere per se, but I do want to say to her that since I'm helping her host the party, that I would feel mean about the "best" friend having go home alone with me (horrid old witch of a mother) whilst S goes to another sleepover so therefore am not going to allow it on this occasion. I'll just have to hope that she's mindful of her "old" friends' feeling when she's doing stuff without them.

S is clever. You know, the teachers say Gifted and Talented, which obviously just means "one of the bright ones", but it does make her stick out as a "swot". That makes it harder to fit in at school, so I don't want to go sticking my nose in too much. It's hard though.

MKG - How sad for your SIL. It's really nice of you to put your plans on hold for a month to spare her feelings.

I can't even begin to pretend I've caught up yet because I've got a Performance (yawn) review this afternoon.

Just popping in to say Alexa'a birthday party was fab and she had a great time, as did I.

And and LG & T.

It's hard TYG. I struggled at school. I was the nice friend that got left behind. And I was a geek of first class order which didn't help. I look back now and wish I could have just embraced my own interests but I retreated inside myself because it was better than sticking out. I did much better at college, discovered straw hats and tie-dye, played my fiddle with pride and I met dh. I worry for M growing up with me. I live in the middle of nowhere, march to the beat of my own bodhran, dress like it's the height of flower power and am out of touch with anything technological or modern. I desperately don't want dd to be 'the weird one' who goes to folk festivals instead of Disneyland or Spain and I don't want to embarrass her.

I think with any teenager it's the fine line between allowing them their feelings (because they're valid if ridiculous) and allowing space to grow responsibly and make the right decisions but stepping in and intervening where appropriate and deciding where boundaries lie. And not forgetting how crapola it was. My Mum was lucky as I was never a teenager. I was too busy reading and all of a sudden I was 17. My brother made up for my lack of angst in a splendid fashion.

Have had a nice experience this week which I'll share if I may. At school I had a good male friend who was the nicest and kindest boy I knew and oh I loved him. I mean, I pined for him in the way that youngsters do. I wanted to hold his hand and I wanted him to kiss me. He played cello and he was beautiful. We've been back in touch recently and he said last week "oh I was so in love with you. Every day I said, today is the day when I'll hold her hand and every day I couldn't face losing your friendship". All together now, vomit! It's made me happy because there was a boy at school and he was beautiful and kind and he liked me.

Oh what a lovely story! That kind of validation is lovely at any time. No matter how comfortable you are in your own skin, I think validation (from people you care about) matters to everyone.

M is very lucky to have you as a role model. I bet that even if she doesn't want to follow exactly in your be-sandalled footsteps that she'll be proud to have you as a mum.

SOH and LG & T - I may have to disappoint you this weekend. The flights have gone up to £288, which I just can't justify when we are going on holiday soon.

And WTF will I do on a 4.5 hour car journey if she starts crying 2 hours in? I just can't see how I'm going to be able to come. My only hope was to bring dh, but he's going to the bloomin cricket.

And LG&T, my sweet, don't you think you've got enough on your plate!!!!!

Am so jealous, and desperately trying to think of a way to come.

And also a way to shut my administrator up. She's got verbal diarrhoea today.

TYG - I was a bit like this, I had a 'best friend' in school who was very lovely, and we shared many happy New Kids on the Block related memories together. Then at 14, I 'snided' off with a cooler kid. You just desperately want to be part of that gang, and I remember the feeling well. School is just a hotbed of hormones and torturous goings on, all intended to make you feel as uncool and crap as possible.

I never went off the rails, but a lot of shouting and door slamming went on in our house, especially as I was (and am) an only child, so all the attention was on me.

Having said all that, original best friend and I are extremely close, and managed to maintain our now 20 year friendship. She will be Lexie's godmother at her christening in June.

Its just typical teen behaviour, and although it sounds horrible and tense and stressful, it could be a whooooole lot worse.

Yes, could be much worse. New Kids on the Block could still be together.

Tell your administrator you're struggling with your sexuality atm and pat her on the bum.

And tell dh that cricket is not only a dull load of hogwash, but also it's on all the farking time. I'll dress in white and chuck a ball about if that's what floats his boat. You are coming. End of.

SOH - They've just reformed!!!!!!!! We are very excited indeed and have registered for email alerts on their fan site. Oh sorry, I'm sure I told you how sad I am? Maybe I didn't, oh well, yes I am. I still pine for Wham too.

But SOH - L hates her carseat as much as M. Would you really do it on your own? If she starts screaming at, say, Birmingham, what would I do? Keep stopping? Dh will not cancel the cricket. Without question, he will not.