December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

caz10 - im not sure how ive managed it but for a few weeks now mathilda has gone down between 6.30-7 and the last couple of nights has gone through to 5-6 but before that it was about 4.

I noticed that she wasnt taking much at 7am (which i suppose is a benefit of bottles) so presumed it was because she didnt really need to feed in the night (you might not want to mess with night feeds if still concerned about dds weight. instead of feeding her immediately i tried her dummy and then a cuddle and if not THEN fed her (would never leave her to cry or let her go hungry)

once this worked one night it seemed to tip the balance to her taking better feeds in the day time hourse.

our feeds go something like this

6-7
9-10
12-1
3-4
5-6
top up just before sleep at 7

mathilda gets very easily overtired but doesnt nap for long periods on her own so i make sure she has a sleep as soon as she gets grouchy after waking. this is normally about 1.5 hours awake time. she has 3 naps a day plus a short catnap late afternoon.

she goes down to sleep but only sleeps for about 30 mins on her own so instead of getting her up or feeding her again i persist with resettling her until she has had about 1.5 hours sleep. this has worked really well last two days and although she appears wide awake after 30-40 minutes i rock her in pra and she goes back off again.

basically my ideal is feeding every 3 hours, with a 1.5 hour sleep in that then a small sleep between 5-6 to get her through the bedtime routine. she goes upstairs about 6, i bath her, then go in her room, put her music on, dress her for bed, cuddle her, give her final top up feed and then sing twinkle twinkle little star to her 3 times. dont ask me why but ive done it since the early days and it really acts as a sleep cue to her now so i keep it up. then i lay her down and off to sleep she goes!

you might recognise alot of this as the EASY routine, ive loosely done it from birth basically not feeding to sleep but following a feed, activity sleep pattern all day. makes it quite easy to interpret her needs as if she is whingeing after an hour or so of being up i know its sleep she needs rather than food iyswim.

sorry, went into a bit much detail there!

i would guess that your dd is probably overtired as most babies NEED a bit more sleep than that and bizarrely if they dont get it they tend to sleep less and less and less.

really interesting reading your routine Pecka, without realising it we were also loosely following the EASY routine early on but the past couple of weeks DS became more fussy at the breast when feeding so I tended to feed him more when he was sleepy and now takes far better feeds when he's really tired so not we're activity eat sleep.

Good news, I've been expressing my boob and massaging it and now the lumps and bumps are much smaller/gone, just about to go up for a hot bath to try and get the last ones away.

Caz we were in Ayr at the weekend and I thought of you, although Ayrshire is huge so you probably don't live close to the Town Centre?

Beckle I think I'll do Anatomy and Physiology course and then add different modules like Head Massage, Reiki, Beauty etc. Not entirely sure at the moment as I need to look at the course content in more detail etc but by the sounds of things you can mix and match and carrying on doing course after course (although you only get £200 towards fees). I have the same idea as yourself, ideally I would like to do the school run and be here in the school holidays so being my own boss working from home and doing treatments in other people's houses is far better for me than going into and office 1 hr away for a 9-5 job.

I haven't paid any attention to our bedtime routine regarding the clocks going forward on Sunday - I spose I'll just see what happens!

Those of you with bigger/smaller LOs according to the growth charts...this might make you feel better: yesterday I compared the NZ growth chart against the one I had in the UK for DD1 and discovered that DD1 was almost the same length as DD2 at 3 months but in NZ this is noted as 75th centile while in the UK it was 91st centile!! Given that 2/3 of NZ's population is of British descent and the other 1/3 is roughly 50:50 Asian and Pacific Island (asians tending to be smaller, PI bigger) I find this a bit hard to understand...but I guess in the end they are only a guide!

Clothes, I find sizing varies hugely. Just had some 3-6 month clothes sent from Germany and they are a bit small! But then we are wearing washables and they defintely add bulk. Having said that I quite like her big baby bum look!

I'm trying to give her some time each to kick without the bulky nappy on tho as she really seems to enjoy it.

Can anyone tell me a bit more about this baby lead weaning stuff? Sorry, I could go and do a search I know...

cazzybabs no that's my cousin's horse but DD1 loves to ride it whenever we visit them. We were at their place over Easter and she was in heaven as she got 2 rides AND they had 2 wee puppies for her to play with (they live on a farm). She loves animals.

Buzzy think we are the same person my DD1 is mad about animals as well and wants to be a vet

Hi everyone sorry won't have time to reply to all the messages but just wanted to say:

claireybee - sounds like you have been having a really tough time poor thing. I hope things are starting to settle a little.

amani - can only reiterate what others have said, please feel free to rant/vent etc here. I hope you are starting to feel a bit better.

Routine: although dd2 still wakes in the night it is only the once and she goes straight back to sleep afterwards. We have roughly followed EASY from a very early stage. She now does this:

wakes approx 6 - 6.30am and feeds.

sleeps approx 7.30 - 8.30am

feeds 9am

sleeps for a short time around 10.30/11

feeds midday

sleeps for hopefully up to 2 hours 12.30 ish - 2.30ish

feeds 3pm

sleeps approx 4.30 for about half an hour

bath 6pm, followed by a bottle of formula and into bed

She usually wakes once about an hour after going to bed but is usually relatively easy to re-settle.

dreamfeed 10pm

usually one wake and feed between 2 and 3am.

I never change a nappy in the night, which has included on a couple of occasions when she had poo'ed.

Can't think of anything else we are doing but I do think how and when a baby sleeps is usually down to the baby. And not necessarily size - dd2 is now about 14lbs and still wakes for a night feed.

We use a dummy and this has always helped with re-settling quickly.

Loucee - this week I told my work I'm not going back until September, instead of June. I don't really want to go back at all but its too big a step to resign at the moment. DH and I are doing an evening class in horticulture, and hopefully will be able to work for ourselves.

Caz - I hear you on the sleep tips. I want to know if its my fault giving him bad habits or if it is just that he needs lots of night feeding. Am going to try babyrice soon.

Clairey sounds like you're havingit worse than me with the sleep thing. Went to bed at 9 last night and unfortunately woke DS so thought I'd give him a feed and miss his dream feed at 10.30 - see how long he'd last. He woke at 11.30, 2.30 and 4.00 when he wouldn't settle again. He seems to be much harder to settle these days, he used to go right back down after a feed but lately I've had to put him on my chest, or DH's or have him in with us in bed.

Amani - hope you're ok.

Morning

Ahh DH got up with DD and DS slept until 9am so I had a lie in until 9am . DS has gone back to waking twice a night despite being 15lbs now so agree doesn't seem to be size related.

Buzzy here's a link from a Mnetter's website about BLW

Wizzska I know resigning does seem like a really big step and I would prefer to leave it right to the last moment but I think it's fairer to my Company to let them know sooner rather than later as my mind is 100% made up and there's no financial gain to have to wait. In saying that I need to check how I will receive SMP if it's not coming through my work's payroll?

Cazzy ? we?ve got some fantastic clothes we?ve been given, I?ve not spent anything on clothes so far. Wish there was a baby girl I could pass the clothes onto, pay it forward and all that, but I might just save them for baby no 2. Dec 08, it feels like forever ago we started here, This time last year I didn?t even know I was pregnant (though hoping).
Loucee ? sounds v. painful, I hope it eases for you.
Lizzer - He?s a cutie, 16lbs, wow! glad the food is going well, bit jealous actually, I?m very excited about starting that messy phase.
I was thinking of Mellymooks, the other day, I hope she?s ok. I think we?ve lost Mixedmama & Housemum to the Jan thread.
Buzzy, she?s so gorgeous.
Beckle, I?ve been looking for an evening job to do for extra cash, so far all I can think to do is supermarkets or call centres, which I don?t mind too much as being a mum is my job now. Can?t even entertain it yet until nearing the end of my smp.

Louise is getting used to her bouncy chair, though doesn?t like it for too long. Will get her a door bouncer when she?s a little less wobbly.
I pay no attention to those graphs at all, are we supposed to? DD looks healthy and is gaining weight everytime she?s weighed, that?ll do for me.
I?d like to start putting DD down at 7/8pm but DH won?t let me, she still goes down at 9/10pm because he doesn?t get in from work until gone 6, then once we?ve eaten he wants some babytime, so no early bedtimes here. We feed every 3 hours during the day, then bath/ bottle and bed ? even if it?s not 3 hours since last feed. She mostly goes down awake, but we put her light show on and she?s off in about 15 mins. We found in the earlier days that keeping her awake in the evenings helped her sleep at night, but now she?ll nap about 7pm. Although DD has started waking at 4/5am in the last week or so, but I just tend to give her the dummy and she?ll drift back off again. She is cute when she wakes though, she has a shout every couple of minutes until someone appears then once we do, she beams back at us.
I was going to ask if those with more than one DC and didn?t BF with their first, if BFing this time has been better/easier? No reason, just intrigued, I remembered a few mentioning that they didn?t last long with DC1, but intended to BF this time.
Currently going though a makeover at the moment, was so sick of feeling like crap. Making a mahoosive effort every day to be gorgeous, I feel fab now, with my lovely nails, freshly coloured hair, makeup everyday. (wearing nice lacy underwired bra?s is of a little upshot FFing, oh and perfume too, didn?t like to wear it when BFing) DH is enjoying glam wife too. Just need to lose some more weight and all will be well, noticed that Maternity Leave weight is creeping on a bit

loucee - i've recovered really well. can't say ive done much exercising but not becuse i dont feel up to it! feel back to normal now, only reminder is the numb feeling above the scar and the odd twinge. i seem to be one of the lucky ones who can eat anything while bf n not put on weight - even when eating mountains of easter eggs!really enjoying the gym tho so will get round to it soon, going out for lots of walks so thats keeping me fit

ambi - good for you with the makeover. i too have got back into doing my nails, make up lovely clothes, for me more than anyting. although i miss nice bras at the moment, and i too dont wear perfume when bf - funny things you do eh?

Ambi good for you on the makeover. I avoid looking in the mirror atm cos all I see is a bag of bones with suitcases under her eyes!

BTW I just read your post as saving the clothes for baby no2 in Dec 08 and was like "What??? Ambi is pregnant?? How did I miss that?". (you're not are you?!)

In answer to your bf question...I bf dd until 5.5 months but she had one bottle of formula per day from very early on. Partly due to cracked nipples, partly trying to get her to sleep better, but mostly just not knowing the first thing about bf and not trusting my body-I also used to give her ff top ups everytime she started feeding more often because I didn't understand about growth spurts. I did enjoy bf with her but never fully relaxed about it because had constant supply worries. DS has been entirely bf and other than a couple of blocked ducts and my oversupply issue I havent had to think about it at all-just whack him on the boob! I think that's why I have no idea how often he feeds etc, I'm just not thinking about it (except in the night when I think aaaargh that's the 4th feed and it's not even 3am yet ).

Another terrible night last night, ds will sleep fine as long as he is on me but wakes as soon as he is put down. Last night I went for the lengthier option of cuddling him and giving him dummy rather than feeding him everytime-still had to feed him 4 times though! DH and I at each others throats through sheer exhaustion I had a real go at him for coughing in the night cos it woke ds

Sometimes feel like I must be a really shit mum to have two children who don't sleep...but really I'm not doing anything differently to anyone else. I suppose it was too much to expect them to be able to sleep when I have always had such difficulties myself

IT WILL PASS!!!! He isn't going to be waking up every hour forever...is he?!?!

Buzzy good point about the growth charts, both DC were 25th% when born here but on the African charts they were above the 50th%

Thanks SO much for these routines, so helpful, keep them coming! We were very loosely doing EASY too, although I seem to have come adrift recently, am going to try to be more organised in the next few weeks. It very much depends on what we are doing that day, I seem to have routines for particular days, so eg the day we go to bf-ing group is different from the day we go swimming etc. Then the days we do nothing are when it all falls apart!

Looking at others sleep patterns I guess we are not doing too badly - and really when you think they class 12-5 as sleeping through, DD is only waking up once!

It feels like more wakenings to me as I like my sleep - I go to bed when she does at 8.30ish most nights, so we feed at:

8.00ish
she wakes at 11-12ish
3ish
6ish

so really I suppose the 3ish feed is the only "night" feed...but I count the 6am feed as a night one as I am desparate for her to settle again after it, 6.30 seems too early to get up! The one good thing is that after the 12ish and the 3ish feed I do not need to settle her, she is out like a light by the end of the 2nd boob and I just put her back into the basket. She has a good big feed at both 12 and 3 so I know it's proper hunger and not just comfort.

daytime napping is my next question...where/how do your LO's actually sleep? Do you actively try to settle them down for a nap, and if so how? DD has slept twice today so far, once from 10-11ish, and now for about an hour - but ONLY because that is when I've been out and about with the pram. She hasn't "napped" in the proper sense of going down into her basket during the day for ages - but then again we are normally out and about.

loucee your courses sound fab v interesting! I think you can get SMP the way you get benefits, straight from govt into your bank account, but not sure? The CAB could advise you. We're about 1/2hr from the town centre, but you must shout if you're down with the wee ones in the nice weather or something and we can meet for an ice cream on the beach (she says hopefully looking out at rain!)

On money matters has everyone got their Child Trust Fund? We just sent away the child benefit forms recently, so will get the voucher soon. I got told at work there's only a 53% take up, so make sure you get your dosh ladies!

Oh and well done you yummy mummies with your nice nails and underwear! V i need to get my arse in gear. Maybe if I stopped MN-ing...!

I feel like we are still floundering about a bit too much and work is looming - need to get sorted out...aargh.

Oh crossed posts claireybee - I feel for you with DH - mine snores and I am going nuts with him cos it's me who can't settle after a feed! Hardly his fault but it drives me mad and I get so stressed when I know I'll be up again in 3 hrs!

Oh crossed posts claireybee - I feel for you with DH - mine snores and I am going nuts with him cos it's me who can't settle after a feed! Hardly his fault but it drives me mad and I get so stressed when I know I'll be up again in 3 hrs!

oops sorry!

also meant to ask - am I the only one who still obsessively checks to see their LO is still breathing?! Mine is asleep in her pram still - doesn't often do that so I keep going out to put my hand on her chest [saddo smiley]

lol clairey, God no.... That'll teach me for typing out on Word before posting! I think baby no 2 will be more like 2018..

Ambi - iwas impressed at your fast work!

Caz10, yep got CTF sorted, Britannia BS. Pretty straight forward really.

Yep did ds' the same as dd-Stakeholder with the Childrens Mutual. Did it through Boots so got vouchers. Still haven't got around to opening their normal accounts though-I spent the money I was given for dd on my dining table and have only just saved it back up!

Just bought a bumbo reduced to 24.99 in mothercare DD2 loves it though still bit wobbly so only done short periods...
Either growth spurt (??again) or teething - chewing hand and grumpy..

caz - i do that too, i used to do it all the time when he was first born, especially in the car seat, but then i relaxed a bit, now he naps in cot upstairs n i'm always up checking even tho the monitor is on!

have sent away for trust fund voucher weeks ago but heard nothing - not surprised really

Oh and last question honestly!

if your LOs are napping, do you wake them if you feel they've gone too long?

nope i don't wake them.

ohh have jusy had a littkle nap myself with dd3....she is so snuggly.

I thought i would pop back in. I am sorry that i havent been posting, felt that it was so irregular for me to get here that I thought it was better i didnt post as never able to keep up. From now on I am going to try really hard too though.

Saw that some have posted routines so here is ours although changes regularly

Wakes around 7.30 -8.30 only has a quick feed usually and then i do school run.

Naps from 9 till about 10/10.30 and has a long feed.

Has a play/awake time

12.30ish has another feed and a sleep

3pm quick drink then school run

4pm - proper feed, sleep for about an hour

6.30ish bath time

7.30is loooong feed.

4am - wakes for feed.

I dont tend to change nappy at night. He only poos 1-2 a week. Bfeeding still and going well except he is being a pickle today.

CTF not sorted but need too

Was 13 weeks on thurs and 15lb.

2nd imms due wednesday

I have repair surgery on tuesday

Lots of smiles, chatter and laughing now. Pushing chest up on front and is starting to grab toys/hair/clothes and promplty try and shove in mouth!

Have rubbed lots of hair off now.

my god anyone clicked on the NSPCC banner on the right of screen - was accidentally holding my cursor over it and it was shouting at me - didn't realise what it was and it totally freaked me out thought I had a nasty virus or hacker uuugh