August 2021 Babies - Running on Caffeine and Baby Smiles

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest post-natal club on MN!

We have welcomed 31 gorgeous new babies together 💖💙 ...

We have filled up several more like a hundred threads in the antenatal birth clubs chat...

...and now we have finally graduated and officially moved to the postnatal birth clubs chat! 🥳

Graduates of the August 2021 (and thereabouts) thread:

@Smurf123 & baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler & her baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles & baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain & her baby boy 💙
@PurplePansy05 & baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 & baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum & baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 & baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 & baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 & baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 & baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx & baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x & baby Ella💖
@biscuitcat & baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername & baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns & baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 & baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque & baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 & baby Ethan 💙
@WolfMother326 & baby Alasdair 💙
@BertieBotts & baby Alex 💙
@RandomCatGenerator & baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp & baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB & baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 & baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 & her baby boy 💙
@Fran919 & her baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 & baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x & her baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries & baby Frankie 💖
@ame88 & baby Lily 💖

Tagging @Dia12, @livingwithbees, @Sheisfee, @Alittlexmasmagic and @LottSE20 in the opening post so you know we're here as and when you wish to rejoin/share your updates 💐

Here we go!

@sarah13xx did they manage to keep away from you and baby? I'm really hoping I can keep this to myself! I slept separately last night and annoyingly woke up at the same times DS normally does and couldn't get back to sleep for ages! Ah well, at least the clocks went back so the hour awake didn't really count 😂 I also didn't get up until 9 🙊
My other friend hasn't visited. She said she would but now it's looking like we're not meeting until Christmas when we're both in our hometown. I guess I can't really blame her as we are literally at either end of the UK, but I like to think if she had a baby I would make the effort to make the journey like the friend that is here now has.

@WolfMother326 My DS got a cold when he was 2 weeks old. We got saline nose drops to combine with a nose sucker thing, and tilted his cot a bit to help drain his nose. It was horrible though. I’m not sure what age you can use baby vicks? Or I think there’s either a vicks or olbas oil plug in? Here’s hoping your little one feels better soon x

@WolfMother326 Olbas oil can be used from 3 months I believe it I found snufflebabe does a room vapour oil that can be used from both. It’s this one:

www.boots.com/snufflebabe-room-vapour-oil-10087647

It seems to have helped with DS2 cold so it’s better than nothing. Hope your little one feels better soon!

@Daffodil21 yes at first I thought DH just had a cold but I was a bit wary of even that and then when it turned into full blown covid symptoms I kept Freddie well away from him until his test came back and then we still kept away for a few days. We were still all sleeping in the same room though 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Aww that’s nice the other one has made the effort but yeah I’d definitely feel I had to if it was my friend who had the baby. My closest friend prior to having Freddie only stays 25 minutes away and she’s only seen him that once and the present she said was in the post has just never appeared. I feel like it causes more stress on you to try and maintain friendships like that, it’s sometimes easier just to let them go 🙄

Well we made it home from our weekend away in one piece (just) 😅 We have conveniently managed to leave the formula, perfect prep machine and the bag of bottles at the house though 🤦🏼‍♀️ DH has just rushed to Tesco before it closed to get more formula, luckily we have an upstairs and downstairs perfect prep so still have one and we’re just going to have to reuse the same two bottles over and over until we get the bag back next weekend when our friend goes to the house 🙈 nightmare!
I have about 10 loads of washing to get done and there is baby stuff literally everywhere from being away so I’ve got all of that to sort through and tomorrow is the day we go to the sensory class at half 9 🙃 great!

@sarah13xx DH now says he has a sore throat so I've sent him up to the spare room. I had hoped to get him some night nurse or something good like that but the bloody shop had closed so just got some more medicine. I'll be in with Elliot tonight and I'm just really hoping I don't pass it to him. I'll be washing my hands before touching him and putting a fresh top on when doing the night feeds, and I'll face the other way when sleeping so I guess I'll just have to hope for the best. I've been keeping my distance from him today () but I won't be able to tomorrow as DH will be at work and my friend is wfh. Just want it to fffff offfff. Can barely talk!

Anyone else's DC messed up because of the clock change That's DD up for her 2 am feed!

Snuffle babe is great for rubbing on their chest as well. They can't have Vicks until 2 years old.

I don't like the snot sucker things and they have always been fine without them!

DS fared ok with clock change, most likely because he sleeps whenever he wants to 🤣

I've an AIBU. We received two wedding invites, one for a wedding in the UK approx 2 hrs away. DH's friend, I don't know the couple well. DH invited to day + eve, I'm invited to eve only starting at 7pm. It says family welcome in the eve (as in DCs). DS will be 5 months old then. AIBU that it makes it impossible for me and him to attend? We basically would have to drive there separately and I'd need to drag DS in the eve to a party. Or pay for booking somewhere for the night (there isn't much around). Why bother even inviting partners and families?

Second one. A destination wedding in Spain next year. Covid uncertain. Only me and DH invited, no DCs apart from the wedding party. Apparently their DCs are better than mine. AIBU to tell them politely to bugger off?

Sorry if I sound ungrateful. I actually don't know the wedding etiquette when it comes to DCs. What pisses me off though is that all DCs were welcome at our wedding and all our friends were delighted. DCs were fantastic and have beautiful photos from the day which we gave framed to our friends. Now, these aren't the same friends. But why make life impossible for parents? xx

DS's sleep was totally buggered the past two nights 😫 but I don't know if it's the clock change or not - I'm trying to get better at his daytime naps and I wonder if that's impacting things, plus I was at my mum's for a couple of nights so that change of routine might have had an impact?

@PurplePansy05 weddings are such a pain aren't they! We have one next year where kids aren't invited and pretty much my whole family are, so babysitters will be really hard to come by! For your weddings, sadly it sounds like it'll be a real pain for you to go to either - it's one of those things where of course the wedding couple can invite who they like, but hopefully they're aware that it means there will be people who can't come, especially the destination wedding, and won't be annoyed about it, as that would be hugely unreasonable. Such a shame though, I think kids at weddings are lovely. Xx

The wedding thing is difficult. When we got married we had the rule that there were no children apart from those breastfeeding or in the wedding party. Yes it raised a few eyebrows and it was controversial but we were so limited with space that it would have meant the child took a space from an adult that we would have been upset if they could attend. Personally I’m in the camp that it’s impossible to keep everyone happy when it comes to a wedding but at the end of the day, the bride and groom are paying so they get to make the rules. If that means some of their chosen guests can’t attend then that’s the consequence of having strict guest policy. Overseas weddings are obviously different and it depends on your childcare situation as to whether you decide to go or not. When dd was over 9 months I would have been very happy leaving her for a few nights with my parents. She wasn’t breastfed then though. We’ve left her overnight to go to weddings in the uk even when she was invited because we wanted to have a proper night off without having to worry about her sleeping somewhere etc.

Sorry if that’s blunt and not what you want to hear but weddings are notoriously controversial when it comes to children and everyone will have a different view.

The evening invite is strange though. I always think a married couple come as a pair of wedding guests. I wouldn’t dream of splitting the invite and would also be put out if that happened to me.

@biscuitcat Oh I agree that ultimately people invite whoever they want to. I guess the point I'm making is that it looks like some are splitting the couples/families because they know they'll have less people in attendance then and save themselves money which I think is poor form and a cheapskate move personally. I'd rather not have been invited at all. Are you planning to go and pay for a baby sitter next year? Is it in the UK? xx

@wimbler OK, that's point taken, I understand if there's limited capacity. Thing is, they know we don't have family living locally and I personally wouldn't leave a 5mo overnight with non-family. I wouldn't leave him in the UK next year to go to a destination wedding with DH either. So in effect we won't go to the latter at all. It's sad because these are actually my friends who I like and would like to share the day. Oh well. xx

@PurplePansy05 I think DH's parents will come over to the UK that weekend so hopefully they could babysit - though Im nervous about that as his dad is getting quite doddery and has a very short temper at times which I don't think will be a good mix with an 11-month-old, so we'll make a firm decision nearer the time. Luckily the wedding is only about 25 minutes from us so the logistics are easier.

And ah yes, I see your point there - almost like a way of avoiding making the decision of who to and not to invite by making it really inconvenient, so you have to be the one to decline, particularly with the one where you're only invited to the evening, which is just odd - I've never seen a couple separated like that before, even at child free weddings xx

I'm glad someone else finds splitting couples odd, DH had another friend who did the same about 8 years ago and we both rejected the invite then (she had a 300 people wedding in a snazzy hotel and yet chose to split a number of couples...whereas her and her then fiance were both invited to our entire wedding but couldn't come as they were on a cruise...didn't make it to the stag/hen either, just plain rude tbh). Anyway, the bride kicked off massively then when we gave her the reason (she asked). Full on bridezilla mode, deleted us from Fb (!) and all that 🤣 She was 38 then. I thought that was pretty bad, but splitting a couple with a young baby might just top this one! Just to clarify, DH has really nice friends. It's just there's always one or two. He spoke to his other two friends and their partners are annoyed too and are not going. It's a Friday as well, just expect DH to take a day off and spend it without family, why don't you xx

@PurplePansy05

I'd be rather pee'd off about DH getting a full day invite and you only getting an evening one, that's weird!

But yes, if you have friends with children then decide that your wedding will be child free, expect a lot of the friends with children to not be attending.

On the subject of colds, DD has one at the minute and I've discovered the joy of the bogey sucker!! No more faffing about trying to clear noses or waiting on a sneeze to dislodge the snot, I'm a bit of a weirdo about snotty noses anyway so this little contraption is my new favourite.... well actually no, it's my second favourite, the perfect prep will always be my favourite gadget.

@Gem176 I'm sure you're way more clued up than I was on perfect preps, but just in case you missed my previous posts - make sure you check the pipes in the back of your machine (especially if you bought it second hand). Ours were black inside the pipes where the water goes through x

@PurplePansy05 sounds like a lot of phaff. I would just decline and not give it a second thought tbh. I don't know about you but having a baby has made me far less tolerant 😂

@Daffodil21 probably no more clued up than you but I had seen a few people mention issues with them and black mould so I'm a bit cautious with keeping it extra clean! I'd have bought second hand as so much baby stuff is used for a few months then never again but OH is very into the simplicity and ease of Amazon 🙄

Thanks ladies.

Friendships are tricky now not only when it comes to weddings - I echo your earlier posts. I'm finding myself closer/reconnected with parent-friends now. Non-parent friends don't get how much life has changed and naturally aren't that interested in DS. I guess that's just how life goes. Luckily at my age most people have children or are TTC. I have one friend who decided not to have children and she's actually fab with Leo, always asks about him. I hope I will meet more local parent-friends when DS goes to school. xx

Thanks @Millymay13 @Magik01 and @BertieBotts. All good suggestions.. baby seems much better today. He's still cranky and tired but seems to be able to breathe better. I got the suction thing out of the baby first aid kit but didn't end up using it.

@PurplePansy05 I think you're being pretty reasonable and wouldn't go to either in your case. We invited all our friends' children to our wedding despite it being very small and let them decide what to do. I hate the idea too of celebrating a marriage/the start of a new family by excluding others' families and babies. Seems like it would be really inconvenient for you and fairly thoughtless to not have included you and DC.

DD has her 12 week vaccinations tomorrow. How did your DCs react?

OH is away this evening as he is every Monday and I need to put DD down myself. I really find it stressful doing it without OH in the house. I'm hoping DD will feed to sleep and it will be all nice and relaxing!

On friendships, my closet friend had her 2 babies 5 year ago and has been a great help for me. She lives in the borders but we phone a lot for advice and sympathy. I've got another friend who is due in February and others from work that I keep meaning to catch up with but they are in Glasgow and Edinburgh so don't really get the chance . I'm doing my best with local groups but it's tough going making friends as adults!

@Daffodil21 thanks for the reminder. I just checked our machine as it was second had when we bought it for dd! Thankfully the pipes look clean so a cleaning cycle with Milton or vinegar should be fine.

I know there was talk of kendamil formula a while back. I just bought some today to try ds on. He’s had some pre made hipp formula but thought kendamil looked better as no palm oil or fish oil. I do remember some of you saying your babies reacted to it though? Does anyone still use it.

@PurplePansy05 I hope I haven’t offended you, I’d be sad the invite meant I couldn’t attend a good friends wedding too. I hate missing weddings. I had to miss one when dd was 10 months old because it was in Australia. My husband still went as he was an usher…which reminds me; I’m owed a week away without the kids 😂😂

@Ready2020 12 week vaccinations were fine for us. He was a bit sleepy but no fever. The nurse said we didn’t need to give calpol as routine either because they don’t give menB at this round so less likely to cause a fever. Still had to deal with the rota virus poos afterwards though!!

@wimbler we tried kendamil but it was just a bit too rich for him I think. We've swapped him back to Aldi and he seems fine so it must have been the machine. We had a big stash of Aldi so I'm glad he's ok on it 😂

Same here re 12 week vaccinations, the same reaction and advice as @wimbler 's. I actually think DH and I may have caught something from the rotavirus drops even though we washed our hands carefully after changing DS. We both had dodgy stomach and felt a bit fragile digestion-wise!

@wimbler Totally not offended, don't worry. I can see this isn't always a straightforward decision and there are a lot of different things to consider. 10 years ago when I was getting married I had 3 friends with young DCs. If that was today, I'd probably have 30+ with kids 0-10 yo. So I guess there's a difference here too and maybe I shouldn't be quick to judge. You should definitely take a week off, and I would be treating myself big time if I were you! That's a big sacrifice.

@Ready2020 I agree, making friends in adult life is hard. Many of my closest friends from uni etc moved abroad or to London and whilst we're still very close it's a shame they're not local. I have 1-2 good friends from every former workplace whom I'm still in touch with so that's not bad maybe. But it's not been as straightforward and now it's even more tricky with the pandemic and maternity leave. I guess what I'm missing most is my group of girlfriends, we're all in different parts of the world now and having friends from definitely circles feels different.

What is going to happen next, are we now going to be invited to our friends' kids' birthdays considering we're now parents too? Question to those of you with older DCs 😊 xx